The Amnesiac Omega Who Reels Me In Every Day – Chapter 111
by Little PandaEven Lingering Regrets Must Be Settled
Zhao Yan × Jiang Ya
Absurd Dream
Zhao Yan went abroad. She had originally intended to spend the rest of her life overseas.
But five years later, for reasons she couldn’t quite articulate, she returned to China.
Perhaps because life abroad wasn’t the life she wanted.
She came back, but didn’t continue in the family business with her parents. Instead, she became an actress.
Blessed with an exceptional face and figure, even at twenty-six, her acting career was smooth sailing. In just three or four years, relying on no one but herself — no family name, no connections — she had already risen to a high position in the entertainment industry.
She starred in numerous films and collaborated with major studios.
By this time, Jiang Ningshu had also long since achieved success. Both she and Jiang Corporation were prominent names in Luo City’s business circles.
Zhao Yan hadn’t paid attention to news about Jiang Ningshu for a long time. By chance, she heard from a mutual friend that Jiang Ningshu had been alone all these years.
Why was she alone? Where was the other mother of her child?
Had they broken up too?
Her friend’s response was that they’d never seen anyone else by her side.
That remark stirred the faintest ripple in Zhao Yan’s calm heart.
Zhao Yan had been to Luo City quite a few times. Every visit was for large-scale business events. She didn’t want to admit it, but deep down, she truly harbored shameful, self-debasing1 thoughts.
Shamefully, she wanted to see Jiang Ningshu.
Even though she had no idea what she’d say or do if they actually met face to face.
She still wanted to see her.
But every time she went, Jiang Ningshu’s name was on the guest list, yet the woman herself was nowhere to be found.
Zhao Yan didn’t know if it was coincidence or if Jiang Ningshu simply refused to cross paths with her.
Gradually, she stopped demeaning herself.
She kept busy, kept hustling, plastering herself across every screen she could.
Time didn’t seem to be a butcher’s knife2 for her. Instead, it traced ever more beautiful lines across her face — deepening her allure, her mature elegance.
At forty-one, she didn’t lose ground to young trending starlets3.
All these years later, she was still alone. That restless heart of hers had gradually settled. She no longer engineered chance encounters with Jiang Ningshu, no longer harbored any desire to seek her out.
The memories from twenty years ago began to blur in her mind. Many details she could no longer recall clearly.
What she did remember was mostly the sweetness of their senior year.
It didn’t hurt much anymore. Instead, it would tug at the corner of her lips — a genuine, quiet smile.
She felt she had let it go.
In this lifetime, it seemed, they were simply not meant to be.
She never expected that shortly after these reflections, she would run into Jiang Ningshu at a celebration banquet.
Jiang Ningshu looked vastly different from twenty years ago. If she had once been a tender upperclassman — alluring yet innocent — she now resembled an empress wielding absolute power. Seductive, commanding, calculating every move.
It made sense. She was now the wealthiest person in Luo City.
Why the wealthiest person in Luo City would appear at a small celebration banquet, though — that was anyone’s guess.
Zhao Yan was no longer the young girl she’d been. Even though Jiang Ningshu’s gaze lingered on her all evening with a half-drunken intensity, she maintained an outward calm.
Outward calm — though she herself didn’t realize that her long-dormant heart had begun to beat erratically again.
Near the end of the banquet, Zhao Yan went to the restroom. When she returned, the venue had nearly emptied. Only Jiang Ningshu remained, lazily leaning against the booth seat, eyes fixed on her with threads of sorrow and deep affection woven through her gaze.
“Yanyan…” She seemed drunk.
After so many years apart, Zhao Yan’s heart couldn’t help but tremble. She tightened her fingertips and opened her lips calmly: “Chairman Jiang, not leaving yet?”
Jiang Ningshu said, “I’m waiting for you.”
Four simple words. Zhao Yan pressed her lips together. “Chairman Jiang, I don’t think we’re particularly close.”
They truly weren’t close. They hadn’t been in contact for twenty years. They might as well have been strangers.
The Jiang Ningshu etched in Zhao Yan’s heart was the twenty-year-old version. The woman before her now felt unfamiliar.
Jiang Ningshu looked at her and asked softly, “Then I wonder if there might be an opportunity to get better acquainted with Miss Zhao?”
Zhao Yan pressed her lips together without answering.
She didn’t know why Jiang Ningshu had suddenly sought her out.
But that evening, Jiang Ningshu insisted on driving her home. At first, Zhao Yan refused on principle. Then Jiang Ningshu mentioned having business to discuss, and she reluctantly agreed.
Business was part of it. The other part — she admitted to herself — was personal.
If she refused outright, would Jiang Ningshu think she still hadn’t moved on?
She was curious. After twenty years, why was Jiang Ningshu looking for her?
With the car windows down and the wind blowing through, Jiang Ningshu seemed to have sobered considerably. Her gaze was clear, her voice crisper. “I’m planning to produce a film. After much deliberation, I feel Miss Zhao would be perfect for a certain role. Would Miss Zhao be interested?”
She was genuinely discussing work.
Zhao Yan read the script Jiang Ningshu mentioned. It was indeed a good film — a quality production with an excellent team, and the offer was very generously priced.
She felt she had no reason to refuse. Refusing would have been the stranger choice.
She agreed.
Jiang Ningshu drove her home.
Before she left, Jiang Ningshu smiled and said, “I’m very much looking forward to working with Miss Zhao.”
That smile overlapped in Zhao Yan’s mind with the girl from twenty years ago.
She stood there, lost in the image, for a long moment.
From that night on, their interactions multiplied.
They gradually moved from initial awkwardness to being able to chat and share meals together.
Then they drew closer still. This phase reminded Zhao Yan of twenty years ago, when the two of them were still in that ambiguous, flirtatious stage.
But it was different. Back then, it had been mutual — back and forth. Now, it was Jiang Ningshu giving one-sidedly. Or rather… pursuing her.
Her home frequently received unsigned rose deliveries. Her phone often got weather forecasts from a familiar number. Her rumors, her scandals — someone always smoothed things over before she could.
She knew all of it came from Jiang Ningshu.
The film went into production quickly. Since it was summer, Jiang Ningshu treated the entire crew to milk tea — but for Zhao Yan, she brought wellness tea packed in her own thermos.
They were indeed at the age where they should be taking care of their health. At first, Zhao Yan felt a bit awkward about it. But as the days passed, she suddenly realized that she had actually gotten angry — genuinely angry — because her assistant had accidentally broken the water bottle Jiang Ningshu gave her.
She looked up at Jiang Ningshu, who was also glancing her way from not far off, and felt a pang of guilt.
She even felt that it was precious — the bottle was precious, the tea steeped inside was precious.
Jiang Ningshu walked over, seemingly catching Zhao Yan’s embarrassment, and smiled gently. “It’s okay, Yanyan. I happened to make two portions. I have one here too — if you’re thirsty, drink mine first.”
Saying that, she handed Zhao Yan her own bottle.
Her gesture, her tone, her gaze — they all reminded Zhao Yan of the Ah Ning from their student days.
She took Jiang Ningshu’s bottle, and when she looked down, she saw the lipstick mark on the rim.
She seemed to have grown accustomed again to Jiang Ningshu calling her Yanyan.
Startled, she shoved the bottle back into Jiang Ningshu’s hands, said a cold “no thanks,” and turned away.
Even as she left, she couldn’t help feeling a pang of tenderness for Jiang Ningshu.
To say she wasn’t moved would be a lie.
But being moved was one thing. She was no longer a girl in her twenties. She could still maintain her composure.
She still thought about Jiang Ningshu’s betrayal from back then.
Could it even be called betrayal? Had they really been in a tacit breakup back then?
She still couldn’t accept that Jiang Ningshu had tacitly agreed — that applying to Luo City University had been a way to shake her off.
She wanted to ask Jiang Ningshu why, after twenty years, she suddenly wanted to get back together. If she’d truly never forgotten, why had she been so cold back then?
She actually asked, one drunken night.
And Jiang Ningshu actually gave her an answer.
“Yanyan, I didn’t mean to leave you back then.” Jiang Ningshu gazed affectionately at the woman before her, whose cheeks were flushed from drink, making her even more captivating. She said, “Your father forced me. He threatened my father’s business to make me break up with you…”
Zhao Yan’s eyes widened, her pupils trembling, her voice instantly thick with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me back then?”
“I felt I wasn’t good enough for you…” Jiang Ningshu lowered her gaze, her eyes growing wet. “Yanyan, if I’d told you, would you have turned against your family for my sake? I didn’t want…”
“Those three years we kept seeing each other after — that was my selfishness, my inability to let go. The final breakup was my cowardice.”
“Yanyan, I’m sorry…” Jiang Ningshu slowly crouched down in front of Zhao Yan, looking up at her. “Yanyan, I have always loved you. I never betrayed you. All these years, I’ve never been with anyone else. You’re the only one I’ve thought about.”
Jiang Ningshu’s face had always possessed the power to make people fall for her — let alone with the gentle tone and heartfelt gaze she wore at this moment.
Zhao Yan couldn’t lie to herself. She’d always kept her hidden in her heart. At these words, tears suddenly fell.
“Yanyan, whether then or now, you’re the only one I love.” Jiang Ningshu wiped her tears and told her softly: “Do you know Xiao Jin? My daughter — she’s our child…”
Zhao Yan froze.
“…What did you say?”
Zhao Yan’s eyes filled with disbelief. Jiang Ningshu knit her brows in grievance. “You don’t believe me? If you don’t, we can do a DNA test…”
“What did you say?” Zhao Yan grabbed the hem of her shirt, head bowed — as if breaking down, or weeping with joy, or as if… every ounce of grievance she’d ever felt erupted in this single moment.
When she raised her head again, her face was already drenched in tears. She asked between ragged sobs: “Xiao Jin is my child — why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Why did you lie to me?”
Jiang Ningshu pulled her into an embrace, pressing her against her chest, and began crying too. “Yanyan, you had a fiancée at the time. I didn’t want to…”
“I’m sorry…”
Zhao Yan recalled the state she had reduced Jiang Ningshu to when they broke up that year — and how she had endured her pregnancy alone, raised their child alone…
All that heartache, in this moment, overwrote her resentment toward Jiang Ningshu. She hugged Jiang Ningshu back without hesitation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know anything.”
Whatever Zhao Yan asked, Jiang Ningshu had a perfect answer. The walls and misunderstandings between them seemed to dissolve entirely. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.
After that night, their relationship deepened.
Zhao Yan accepted the water bottle with Jiang Ningshu’s lipstick mark. They began genuinely dating — eating together, watching films, and she even took to feeding Jiang Ningshu by hand.
She became gentler.
Like a different person — no longer so melancholic and world-weary, but full of vitality.
“I heard Xiao Jin had a falling out with you and went to Bei City for school. She hasn’t come back.”
“Yes. No matter how I try to coax her, she won’t come home. I don’t know if you’ve heard about her — she’s been spoiled rotten, far too willful.”
Zhao Yan did know a bit about Jiang Jinyi — a pampered, headstrong Eldest Miss. She’d thought nothing of it at the time, but now that she knew Jinyi was her own daughter, her mind brimmed with belated maternal love. She felt the girl had every right to be spoiled.
Adorable, even.
She even felt she had failed her.
So, more than twenty years late, Zhao Yan began learning how to coax a child.
“With Xiao Jin’s temperament, do you think she could accept me as her mom?” She always asked Jiang Ningshu this question, having read through countless guides on handling pampered heiresses, hoping that during winter break they could go together to coax Jiang Jinyi home.
She was afraid — afraid that Jiang Jinyi couldn’t accept her as a mother.
Because of Jiang Jinyi’s personality, and because she had been absent for the most important years of her life — she was no longer worthy of being her mother.
“What does Xiao Jin like? I’ll buy them all. Do you think that would coax her, Ah Ning?”
“Why don’t we go stay in Bei City for a while? Oh — I need to brush up on my cooking these days. I want her to taste the meals I make.”
“Bei City’s winters are cold. She could get frostbite easily. You said her health isn’t great — going there must be miserable. At least she’s about to graduate.”
“I wonder… if I could ever get her to call me Mom.”
Jiang Ningshu looked a bit displeased. “Yanyan, how come you’re so completely preoccupied with Xiao Jin now? I seem to have become unimportant.”
Zhao Yan shot her an affectionate glare. “Ah Ning.”
In Zhao Yan’s heart, Jiang Ningshu was of course the most important. But the most important person was right beside her, while she had never even met her daughter face to face — she was simply aching with longing for her child.
Jiang Ningshu feigned anger to make Zhao Yan coax her. Zhao Yan did — murmuring flirtatious words until their lips met.
As the kissing grew heated and dizzying, Jiang Ningshu breathed her name. “Yanyan…”
In all the time since their reunion, the most intimate they’d been was embracing. Kissing had only just begun. Jiang Ningshu was eager for Zhao Yan to mark her — and how could Zhao Yan refuse…
“Ah Ning, I love you…”
She felt the body descending from behind, the breath falling closer against her nape, and Zhao Yan’s sexy low voice telling her she loved her.
A glint of triumph flashed through Jiang Ningshu’s eyes. She reveled in it.
She felt she had truly, completely become Jiang Ningshu.
She was bitten — just a small bite. The pheromones hadn’t even been injected yet when the person behind her suddenly recoiled, stumbling into the table with a clatter.
The beautiful atmosphere shattered in a single second.
“Who are you?” Jiang Ningshu turned around to see Zhao Yan pointing at her, face contorted with horror. “You’re not Ah Ning. Your pheromones are wrong. You’re not Ah Ning!”
Jiang Ya’s seductive charm froze on her face, her expression cracking piece by piece under Zhao Yan’s terrified gaze and sharp accusations.
Her eyes gradually turned deranged, unhinged. “Why? The pheromones were already so similar…”
The mimicry was already at ninety-nine percent!
“Why could you still tell? Is marking me really that difficult?”
“We were about to find happiness…”
Listening to her ravings, Zhao Yan quickly realized something, her expression tense. “Where is Ah Ning? Why are you impersonating her?”
“Ah Ning? She stopped loving you a long time ago… You’re not allowed to leave me.” Jiang Ya stepped toward Zhao Yan. Sensing danger, Zhao Yan immediately bolted for the stairs. Jiang Ya chased her down and grabbed her. The two struggled — pulling, shoving, tangled together.
“I love you so much, you know that? I’ve loved you in secret for over twenty years. What right do you have not to love me?”
“Do you know what price I’ve paid to love you?”
“Don’t you dare leave!”
The unhinged Jiang Ya slammed Zhao Yan against the wall. She glared at Zhao Yan, completely oblivious to the wall hook behind her.
With one violent shove, the hook brutally pierced into the back of Zhao Yan’s skull.
The world went silent.
Zhao Yan’s body went limp, sliding downward. Her pupils slowly lost focus.
From injury to death was only a few seconds. In her final moments, she still felt a deep, regretful sorrow — so Ah Ning truly didn’t want her anymore.
An absurd dream.
Footnotes
- 犯贱 | fanjian | Literally 'acting cheap' — colloquial Chinese slang for willfully debasing oneself, typically used when pining after someone who has rejected you; conveys self-aware humiliation mixed with compulsive longing.
- 杀猪刀 | shazhudao | Literally 'butcher's knife' — from the popular Chinese internet proverb 'time is a butcher's knife' (岁月是把杀猪刀), meaning time spares no one and ravages all; here used ironically to note that aging only enhanced Zhao Yan's beauty.
- 流量小花 | liuliang xiaohua | Literally 'traffic little flower' — Chinese entertainment industry slang for highly marketable young actresses whose popularity is driven by internet traffic and fandom rather than acting pedigree; 'traffic' refers to web page views and social media engagement metrics.
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