The Amnesiac Omega Who Reels Me In Every Day – Chapter 91
by Little PandaWanting to Win Her Back
Foolish Jiang Jinyi
“I don’t want to continue anymore.”
After Youwan calmly finished saying what she wanted to say, Jinyi froze, staring blankly at Youwan’s beautiful, clean face, lips parted, unable to utter a single word.
Her mind went completely blank, as if she had forgotten who she was, what she was doing right now, what she should do next.
Her eyes stung, welling up with moist tears, more and more of them, slowly trailing down from the corners of her eyes across her cheeks and dripping down.
It wasn’t until tears blurred her vision, making Youwan’s face indistinct, that she snapped back to reality and wiped away her tears, keeping Youwan in her sight.
The hand clutching the corner of her clothing gripped even tighter. She was truly terrified that Youwan would vanish in the next second.
Jinyi couldn’t believe these words came from Youwan’s mouth.
Between the lines of these words, one thing was revealed: Youwan no longer loved her.
The fact that Youwan no longer loved her was what she had wanted most before, but now it hit her like a bolt from the blue.
Reaping what she had sown, beyond regret.
But, but… Jinyi thought unwillingly, Youwan had loved her so much before. Youwan was so obsessive. Youwan’s possessiveness was so strong. Youwan should use any means necessary to keep her by her side. How could Youwan possibly give up on her?
Youwan wouldn’t…
Jinyi knew she was deceiving herself. She couldn’t bother wiping her tears anymore. Both hands grabbed onto the corners of Youwan’s clothing. Her tear-filled peach-blossom eyes looked at her pitifully, biting her lip, whimpering in her throat like a little cat pleading with its owner not to abandon it.
She tried to use this pitiful posture to soften Youwan’s heart, pleading in a sweet voice: “Jiejie, I was wrong. Can you stop being angry with me? It’s all my fault, I’m such a bastard. I deserve to be hit, I deserve to be scolded. I’ll do anything you want, you can punish me however you like. Just don’t abandon me, okay?”
Before she recovered her memories, Youwan had established household rules, making her memorize them until she knew them by heart.
Whenever she made a mistake, Youwan would have various tormenting ways to punish her, making her both fascinated and afraid.
Even after acting so spoiled and begging like this, Youwan still didn’t react much. Jinyi grew even more anxious, her mind racing. “Jiejie, you said before, if I left you, you would tie me up, lock me away, and punish me with a whip. I’ll let you tie me up, you can do anything to me…”
She still remembered. These were words from when the two of them were in bed, when Youwan had asked her by her ear if it was okay, and she had agreed.
She knew Youwan liked that sense of control. She crouched down on the floor, grabbing the corner of her clothing, looking up at her in a dependent posture.
Youwan lowered her eyes, looking down from above at this little cat that seemed to be curled at her feet.
Her seemingly calm fox eyes held undercurrents. She had to admit, the words Xiao Jin said were truly moving, especially delivered in a tearful voice.
Begging to be punished, to be locked up.
But it wasn’t enough.
What she wanted was still not enough.
It should be more cruel.
She asked in return: “But you already left. Left for a long time, didn’t you?”
“I used pheromones to tie you to my side, but you didn’t hesitate to hurt yourself to break free from me, leaving me all alone.”
“Someone who doesn’t want to stay by your side can’t be kept no matter what.”
“I’ve thought a lot. My methods were too extreme, too inconsiderate of your feelings. I was too abnormal.”
“I’m scared, I’m tired. I no longer have that desire. Whatever happens to you from now on has nothing to do with me.”
“Wu…” Jinyi kept shaking her head, eyes brimming with tears, feeling even more wronged and sad. But seeing Youwan’s helpless yet serious expression, afraid that her crying and fussing would annoy her and make her even more resentful, she only dared to say softly: “No, don’t say it has nothing to do with you…”
Jinyi was truly panicked, truly terrified.
Did Youwan’s words mean she no longer had feelings for her?
She had experienced days without Youwan, but that was forced. Now that all misunderstandings had been cleared, the longing from those days apart and the love she wasn’t allowed to express all surged up at once. She felt she couldn’t be apart from Youwan for even a single step.
She couldn’t bear to imagine returning to those days without her.
She felt extremely wronged, calling her softly with pleading and coaxing, “Jiejie…”
Facing this Xiao Jin, Youwan was somewhat unable to bear it. Her expression revealed a trace of tenderness. Jinyi saw the change in her expression and seized the opportunity, calling out to her again pitifully.
“Xiao Jin, I can’t believe you right now. You can no longer give me a sense of security. I think being apart, being alone, is the lifestyle most suited for me.” Her words were lighter than before, but her attitude remained the same.
Jinyi’s fan-like eyelashes trembled lightly, bearing a pair of thoroughly red, wet eyes, pressing her lips together at a loss.
What Youwan said was already very clear. She felt that if she kept making a fuss like this, Youwan would definitely feel annoyed.
Would Youwan think she was a playgirl1 who had hurt someone and still clung to them relentlessly…
Just thinking that Youwan might think this way, Jinyi swallowed all her grievances and didn’t dare to speak anymore.
What should she do…
Seeing her remain silent for a long time, Youwan continued to lower her head and eat her congee.
Jinyi’s head lowered further and further, just staying by her side like this, not knowing what to say to make her stay, and unable to bear leaving.
She kept her head down, unable to see that Youwan’s gaze lingered on her still-bandaged nape for a very, very long time.
Her eyes were gentle, and aching.
Watching her troubled and sad appearance, she secretly scolded her in her heart: fool.
Not long after, a subordinate knocked on the door and respectfully said to Jinyi, “Chairman Jiang has woken up and wants to ask if the Miss has had breakfast. She said she bought a portion for you and wants you to come over and eat.”
Jinyi responded with a half-beat delay. She stood up, helped Youwan clean up the packaging from the congee she had just finished, wanting to say something but not daring to, and finally just said softly: “Jiejie, rest well. I will go check on Mom.”
Youwan was looking at her phone with lowered eyes, not looking at her, not giving a response. Jinyi wanted to say she would come back to see her later, but she was afraid Youwan wouldn’t want to hear such words, afraid Youwan would say she didn’t want her to come back and accompany her, so she didn’t say it out loud.
It wasn’t until she left and closed the door that Youwan raised her eyes, fox eyes narrowing slightly, scolding softly: “What a fool.”
Just accompanying her for a little while and then leaving, but would she be too afraid to come back?
Coward.
Does she even need to be taught how to get back together with her ex-girlfriend and win back her ex-girlfriend’s heart?
At the door, Jinyi tilted her head up and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, waiting until her tears dried before daring to enter Mom’s hospital room.
She saw Mom sitting on the sofa, with Secretary Song standing right beside her, very close.
On the coffee table beside the sofa was a portion of breakfast, and another portion that had already been eaten.
“Mom…” Jinyi called softly as she walked over. Ningshu smiled at her and had her sit beside her.
Jinyi walked over, her eyes lingering on Mom’s lips for an extra half-second. In the past she wouldn’t have thought anything of it, wouldn’t even have noticed, but now, she was someone who had experienced it too, having kissed Youwan who knows how many times.
Seeing Mom’s somewhat swollen and moist lips, her mind would wander.
After she kissed Youwan, Youwan would look like this too…
She thought she must be crazy. How could that be!
She quickly suppressed this thought and lowered her head to eat the breakfast Mom had prepared for her.
“What’s wrong? Did jiejie bully you, crying like this?” Ningshu saw through her abnormality at a glance.
“No…” Jinyi quickly denied. How was Youwan bullying her? It was clearly her who had wronged Youwan, making her sad.
“It’s just… she seems to not want me anymore.” Jinyi could never hide her thoughts in front of Mom.
Ningshu’s expression immediately showed interest: “How does she not want you? She wants to break up with you?”
Jinyi shook her head.
“It’s because before, I hurt her. She doesn’t like me anymore.”
Jinyi told Ningshu everything that had happened before. Ningshu nodded understandingly. “So, she now has no interest in you, no sense of security, and prefers to be alone.”
“…Mm.” Therefore, Jinyi was somewhat afraid to enter Youwan’s room again later, afraid of annoying her, thinking of herself as a shameless, clinging, unqualified ex.
Ningshu emphasized: “A pregnant omega simply cannot adapt to being alone. On the contrary, as the pregnancy progresses, the desire for alpha companionship only grows stronger. Only with an alpha by her side can there be true peace of mind.”
“So when she says she’s used to being alone, that she wants to be alone, she’s just being stubborn and going against her true feelings.” Ningshu herself had been alone for ten months of pregnancy, giving birth to Jinyi alone, without the companionship of Zhao Yan, who had gotten her pregnant. She understood that feeling the best.
It was truly painful.
Jinyi was stunned, then immediately felt disappointed and insecure, struggling to say: “I don’t have pheromones anymore…”
Ningshu pinched her cheek. “Baby, why are you so foolish? Pheromones aren’t everything. Your very presence is a source of comfort and security for her. It’s not just pheromones—your scent, the familiar feeling, will also make her feel at ease.”
Jinyi’s eyes looked pitiful. Ningshu’s heart ached so much for her. “After we return to Luo City, Mom will find the best doctors. Xiao Jin’s glands will heal. Don’t be afraid.”
Jinyi really wanted to recover quickly.
Ningshu said with certainty again: “You stayed with her all night and all morning. Now that you’ve left, she must be feeling disappointed and insecure, wanting you to stay with her.”
Jinyi was somewhat pleasantly surprised but also uncertain. She quickly glanced toward the door, subconsciously wanting to rush back to Youwan’s room immediately.
“Really?”
“Would Mom lie to you?” Ningshu guided her. “She says she has no sense of security with you, so you make her feel secure again. She says she has no interest in you, that her heart has been broken by you and she doesn’t like you anymore, so you make it up to her and find every way to make her like you again.”
“Win her over. Wear the clothes she likes seeing you in most, do the makeup she likes on you most, seduce her, understand?”
“Will she think I’m annoying?” Jinyi truly couldn’t imagine Youwan looking at her with disgust.
“Do you want her to think you’re annoying, or do you want her to have no feelings for you at all and slowly forget about you?”
Jinyi compared the two and found she couldn’t accept the latter even more.
Just imagining it made her want to cry.
After Ningshu’s guidance, Jinyi only felt that her desire to go back to Youwan was so high it was nearly out of control. Ningshu understandingly told her to hurry back.
Jinyi immediately dashed out. Ningshu looked at her back and sighed.
“What are you sighing about?” Song Lian, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly asked.
Ningshu said lightly: “Just lamenting, after not seeing her for five years, Xiao Jin has grown up, body and heart belonging to someone else.”
“Tsk, if I had known she would differentiate into an alpha, I should have taught her more from a young age about how to flirt with and coax omegas. Then she wouldn’t be so foolish now.”
Ningshu narrowed her eyes and said in a low voice: “Her jiejie is no ordinary woman. With Xiao Jin like this, she can only be completely at her mercy, not even knowing she’s been sold.”
“The Miss has always been well-behaved by nature. Besides, being managed isn’t bad, is it? I believe she will protect the Miss very well.”
“So…” Ningshu raised her eyes to look at her, meaning unclear. “You like being managed?”
“…”
If Jinyi had taken one more look at Secretary Song’s lips before leaving, she would have discovered that Secretary Song’s lips were just as moist and swollen as her mom’s, with a bite mark too.
Youwan was somewhat surprised. Only ten-odd minutes had passed, and the door was opened again. Jinyi closed the door and walked in, walked to the bedside, and without saying a word, pulled up a small stool and sat down, looking up at her.
Youwan turned her head to meet her gaze, looking at her with puzzled eyes.
Jinyi’s eyelashes fluttered wildly, a sign of extreme nervousness, but she still forced herself to look into her eyes. Using up all her courage, she said firmly and seriously: “Jiejie, I want to pursue you. I want you to be with me again…”
“You no longer feel secure with me, you no longer like me, it’s all my fault. Making you sad, making you hurt, making you go through the marking period alone, making you face pregnancy alone, it’s all my fault too.”
“I know I’m being annoying and making you dislike me. I’m such a bastard, wu…” A tearful tone spilled out. Jinyi was extremely embarrassed and frustrated. She sniffed and continued: “Can you give me one chance to make it up to you? I want to take good care of you, I like you so much. Just thinking about being apart from you makes me feel terrible.”
“This time, let me be the one to pursue you. Can you… can you not find me annoying?” After saying this, Jinyi immediately regretted it. She was the one pursuing the other person, yet she still wanted the other person not to be annoyed.
Wasn’t that asking too much?
Jinyi had never had this kind of experience before. The words she had rehearsed at the door were all forgotten now. She just said whatever came to mind, telling Youwan her truest inner thoughts.
After finishing, without waiting for Youwan’s response, she couldn’t hold on anymore and bent over to lie face-down on the bed, only taking up a very, very small space, not daring to look at Youwan’s eyes or her reaction.
No crack in the ground to hide in, so she buried herself in the bed.
Still hoping in her heart that Youwan would give her some response.
Youwan raised an eyebrow. To be honest, she had just been somewhat regretful, wondering whether her words had been too cold, too devoid of hope. She thought this fool wouldn’t dare come in again, hiding somewhere crying for a long time, then just giving up, needing to wait for her to teach her before she understood.
She didn’t expect her to come running back so quickly, and even saying she wanted to win her back, to give her a sense of security again, to make her like her again. And after saying all this, without even waiting for her agreement, she just flopped onto her bed, so self-righteous.
After a long time Jinyi still hadn’t heard Youwan say anything. Her anticipation for a response gradually dissipated, making the worst assumption in her heart. Even if she hated her, even if she didn’t want her to pursue her, she would still be shamelessly persistent.
Being hated was still better than being forgotten.
But, she still really didn’t want to be hated…
Just thinking about it, tears became uncontrollable.
Jinyi tried to cover it up, but Youwan still noticed the dampened bedsheet.
She couldn’t help but feel heartache.
Really, this pampered Eldest Miss was born making people want to spoil her.
Jinyi hadn’t had a good night’s sleep for several days in a row. After lying face-down for a while, her heartbeat gradually steadied, and drowsiness followed.
Although Youwan hadn’t responded to her, she also hadn’t chased her away. Could it be tacit approval?
Jinyi shrank back a little, reducing the space she took up on the bed, only occupying that tiny sliver of space, trying not to disturb Youwan, not wanting Youwan to feel annoyed, while still being able to stay by her side.
Jinyi grew sleepier and sleepier. In that half-asleep, half-awake state, she seemed to feel Youwan stroking her head.
It must be a dream. Now only the Youwan in her dreams would stroke her head. Jinyi liked this dream, letting herself sink into it.
“Fool, lying in such a tiny space.” Youwan cupped her cheeks, pulled her further in, letting her rest on more of the pillow so she could sleep more comfortably.
During these two days at the Nan City Hospital, Jinyi transformed from her previously tsundere, pampered Eldest Miss self into someone extraordinarily thick-skinned, staying in Youwan’s hospital room for long periods, coming during the day, coming at night too.
Youwan ignored her, and she didn’t dare to say much, just worked diligently. For all three meals, she would buy food according to the diet the doctor gave her. To prevent the food from picking up other people’s pheromones, for greater reassurance, and to show her sincerity, she always went to buy it herself. Although sometimes when she brought it back, Youwan had already eaten the hospital food.
At night when Youwan was about to sleep, she would only leave briefly, wait until Youwan fell asleep, then quietly come back and lie face-down on the bed, only taking up that little bit of space.
All so she could be closest to Youwan. Although her own pheromones were faint, there was still a faint trace. She thought that even letting Youwan catch a little bit would be good.
Even if she couldn’t smell it… being close to her should still have some effect, right?
Jinyi didn’t want to let go of even a tiny bit of effect.
Only this way could she fall asleep, could she feel at ease.
But she was afraid Youwan would find her annoying like this. Only when Youwan was asleep did she dare to secretly lie there, then get up before Youwan woke, go wash up, find ways to get rid of the red marks on her face from sleeping, then go buy breakfast.
Once, because she was too tired, she woke up a bit late. When she woke up, Youwan was already awake. When their eyes met, she was still a bit dazed, but just as Youwan frowned and opened her lips to speak, she instantly snapped awake, afraid that Youwan would tell her she couldn’t sleep here anymore. Tears fell in an instant, and she ran out so she wouldn’t hear what she said.
She hid for almost an hour. When she brought the breakfast back, Youwan had already eaten. Jinyi stood there holding the food, at a loss, not daring to say more, just ate it herself silently.
This life went on for three days. On the morning of the fourth day, Youwan’s subordinate came to pack her things. She was being discharged, going back to Luo City.
Jinyi was worried about her condition. After hesitating again and again, she finally dared to speak: “Jiejie, do you really need to be discharged so soon? The wound seems quite serious. How about staying two more days for observation?”
Youwan only said lightly: “You know I don’t like the smell of disinfectant in hospitals. The doctor said I can leave, so I’m leaving.”
Jinyi certainly remembered that Youwan didn’t like the smell of disinfectant.
She also remembered that her pheromones could eliminate the smell of disinfectant and make Youwan feel better.
But now she couldn’t anymore.
She didn’t say another word, thinking insecurely: Sure enough, her gland was of no use at all.
“Most importantly, there’s still a lot to take care of in Luo City.” Youwan suddenly added.
Jinyi felt inexplicably better. “Mm…”
Then she helped Youwan pack her things.
She was still very disappointed.
But not long after, coincidentally, Ningshu was also being discharged and returning to Luo City. Jinyi instantly perked up, thinking she could return to Luo City with Youwan. She carefully went to find her, inviting her to take Fu Mingyue’s private plane back.
The reason being that a private plane would be more comfortable.
But Youwan refused. The reason for her refusal was that she had already bought a plane ticket.
Jinyi always tended to overthink. She thought, Youwan wasn’t short of money, definitely wouldn’t care about the cost of a plane ticket. The main reason must be that she didn’t want to sit on the same plane as her or didn’t want to owe her a favor.
After these three days of her shamelessly insisting on taking care of her and clinging to her, was she already very annoyed? That’s why she was in such a hurry to be discharged.
Jinyi always thought this way, then felt sad and wanted to cry.
But then she thought, Youwan during the marking period had been like this too, would insecurely overthink things, even more severely than herself.
Returning to Luo City, it was already evening.
Entering this home again with Mom, Jinyi ran upstairs to check Youwan’s room. Sure enough, everything related to Youwan had been moved out.
Completely clean, as if she had never been there.
This feeling truly made Jinyi unable to catch her breath. She pressed her head against the wall, taking a long time to recover.
After recovering, she returned to her own room.
The room wasn’t messy, even cleaner than before she left. The clothes in the wardrobe were neatly arranged, but Jinyi still carefully noticed that the positions of many clothes were messed up, clearly having been moved around extensively.
When she had left, Youwan could only rely on her clothes to get through.
Thinking of the image of Youwan curled up in a pile of her clothes, she felt heartache, a bitter ache.
Why didn’t she take them all with her?
Because after leaving for so long, the clothes no longer had her scent. She didn’t want to take them either, because she was determined to separate from her.
But Jinyi knew that Youwan wasn’t feeling any better now than before. Nearly three months pregnant, her need for alpha companionship only increased. She must be feeling very insecure in her new place.
Just like how insecure she was when she had just been marked and Jinyi left.
Jinyi really wanted to deliver herself to her.
But she also knew Youwan definitely wouldn’t accept.
She took a shower, gathered all her plush toys, wrapped them in her own clothes, then held them all in her arms, rubbing against them from time to time, hoping they would quickly absorb her scent, then pack them all up and send them to Youwan.
She thought, she really did love the feeling of being managed by Youwan.
She couldn’t sleep. She felt she had truly developed separation aftereffects from Youwan.
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