On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 91

Her Wish

Only a few days until her birthday

The kiss was fierce. Skin flushed, a sheen of fine sweat breaking out. Palms, lips, tongue, eyes, scorching breath—everything seemed damp, the whole of her melting into that wet heat, thirstily lapping at the sweetness in the other’s mouth, tangled and lingering.

            

Fu Yunqing grasped her wrists and rolled her over, pinning her beneath. Yu Yan gazed up at her between ragged breaths, eyes hazy—and to Fu Yunqing, that look held a particular allure. Her bangs were wet and clinging to her face, making her look a little disheveled. Fu Yunqing wasn’t in much better shape, her chest heaving violently, yet still gently brushing the hair aside, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her eyes brimmed with tender desire as she breathed hard, her fingers delicately coaxing sensation from her.

Her baby began to whimper, brow furrowing, hands roaming restlessly over her—touching her cheek, kneading her neck, gripping her shoulders, then trailing downward.

“Mmm…”

            

She narrowed her mist-dewed eyes and suddenly called out, “Mommy~”

Fu Yunqing’s breath faltered. The sudden provocation sent a shiver through her heart. Still flustered, she answered, “Mm?”

Her eyes curved, wanting to flash a smug smile—but in the next second, a gasp escaped her lips.

            

“Ah…”

“What is it?” Fu Yunqing pressed, relentless.

The tone was so gentle, the gaze so tender, yet Yu Yan lost all composure in her hands. She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Jiejie, Mommy…”

            

“Mm?”

“Mommy…”

“Mommy loves me…” She wasn’t stingy with sweet words. “Love me faster…”

            

Fu Yunqing thought that Yanyan seemed a little more open than before, more uninhibited. She had always loved it when she was honest with her. It made her feel that Yanyan could truly let herself go completely with her.

Nothing to be shy about. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Mommy would embrace and love everything about her—

“…”

            

Yu Yan lay on her side. Fu Yunqing returned from the bathroom and had barely settled beside her when Yu Yan draped herself over her, boneless and thoroughly satisfied.

Fu Yunqing pulled the covers around her. The flush on Yu Yan’s neck hadn’t yet faded, her skin thin and translucent, lashes dropping like dark feathers. That beautiful face pressed quietly against her collarbone, as if tucked away in her embrace.

This was an image Fu Yunqing, in those anxious days when she’d hoped Yanyan would never recover her memories, wouldn’t have dared to imagine.

            

This was happiness.

Fu Yunqing felt a deep, settled peace. All the shadows had been dispelled. She couldn’t help pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Sleepy?”

“Mm… I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days.” Yu Yan’s voice was a little hoarse, her words lazy.

            

“Should I turn off the light?”

Yu Yan didn’t answer. Fu Yunqing switched off the main light, leaving only a dim night lamp—perfect for sleeping. But neither of them closed their eyes. Fu Yunqing didn’t close hers, and Yu Yan’s lashes fluttered now and then.

Was she thinking about something?

            

Fu Yunqing didn’t urge her to sleep. She just stayed there quietly. If she drifted off slowly, that was fine. If she had something to say, that was fine too. She would stay right here beside her, holding her, responding to her.

She wished this moment would last a little longer, then a little longer. If all of this were a dream, then she hoped she would never wake from it.

Immersed in happiness, she also became more fragile.

            

Yu Yan stirred in her arms, finding a more comfortable position. Fu Yunqing looked down at her and heard her ask, “Have you not been sleeping well these past two days either?”

Fu Yunqing gave a soft “Mm.” “I… I was harsh to you. I locked you in the house alone. I was afraid you’d hate me, afraid you’d resent me. It was agonizing.”

Yu Yan asked, “If I hadn’t run away, when were you planning to come back and see me?”

            

Fu Yunqing was silent a moment. “I don’t know.”

If Yanyan hadn’t recovered her memories, there would have been no turning point. What would have become of their relationship?

Fu Yunqing wouldn’t have had the courage to face her. Yu Yan would have resented her. They wouldn’t have sat down for a proper conversation. Hurtful words would have spilled out in moments of lost control, and the two of them would have drifted further apart, leaving everything in ruins.

            

The thought of it darkened Fu Yunqing’s mood, and yet she was all the more grateful for the present.

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, pressing her cheek close against Yu Yan’s forehead. “It’s my fault.”

Was it her fault?

            

How was it her fault that she needed to apologize to Yu Yan so many times?

“The doctor said your memories could be treated and restored. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I should have taken you for proper treatment.” At the time, the doctor had told her the amnesia might be psychologically caused. Her mind had been too chaotic, too desperate for a quick fix, to think it through carefully.

“I shouldn’t have been so sensitive. I shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have refused to let you go act with An Qiu. We could have talked it through properly. I shouldn’t have been so extreme. I shouldn’t have snooped at your phone, shouldn’t have surveilled you and made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

            

“…”

Yu Yan said nothing.

Fu-jiejie was such a good person.

            

Yu Yan thought: if someone like her really had a child of her own, what a wonderful parent she would be. So gentle, so patient. Not domineering, not controlling. She could reflect on herself, put herself in others’ shoes, apologize to a child.

Her love was so steadfast. She would never give up on her own child.

She was still ruminating: “If only I had noticed something was wrong with you over a year ago.”

            

Yu Yan had no desire to validate her self-blame. “I hid it too well. I didn’t want you to find out.”

Not wanting to hear more apologies, Yu Yan changed the subject. “At the time, I just wanted to leave Yuncheng, but I didn’t know where to go. That friend—the psychologist—happened to be from Nancheng, so I went back there with her.”

“She took care of me the whole time. I was so broken down I could barely take care of myself. It was all her. She’s the one who made me go to the hospital.”

            

Fu Yunqing listened quietly. “Mm.”

Yu Yan looked up at her, searching her expression as if checking for jealousy. There was no visible jealousy on Fu Yunqing’s face, but Yu Yan could still detect a faint trace of emotion.

She did care.

            

Of course Yu Yan knew. Fu-jiejie most wished that the person taking her to the doctor was her, not some other woman. Most wished that when she was suffering, the one beside her was her, not some other woman.

Yu Yan chuckled softly. “She’s married now. She even has a kid. She and her wife adopted a little girl from a welfare home—she’s five now, super cute.”

The look on her face told Fu Yunqing she’d been had. This girl had such a playful streak—and seemed to have gotten even worse. But Fu Yunqing wasn’t annoyed. Calmly, she said, “Is that so? Then someday I’ll have to go thank her in person.”

            

“And after that?” Fu Yunqing cared more about what came next. “Did seeing the doctor go smoothly?”

“Smooth enough. I took medication for a long time.” A wistfulness came over Yu Yan as she recalled it. “I got really fat for a while. Ugly.”

“How could that be?” Fu Yunqing immediately refuted her self-deprecation. “Yanyan looks good even with a little weight. Health is what matters most.”

            

Yu Yan knew she’d say that. She gave a light hmph.

“Were you still on medication before the amnesia?” Fu Yunqing worried that if she had been, stopping abruptly after the memory loss might have been harmful.

“Not at all,” Yu Yan said. “The doctor had me stop ages ago.”

            

That relieved Fu Yunqing somewhat, though she still said, “After your birthday, when we go back to Yuncheng, I want to take you for a checkup. Okay?”

Yu Yan didn’t answer.

She seemed reluctant, shooting Fu Yunqing a dissatisfied glance before rolling over with her back to her.

            

Fu Yunqing wrapped an arm around her from behind. “What’s wrong?”

Yu Yan didn’t want to continue. Imperiously, she declared, “I’m going to sleep.”

“Mm.” Despite her worry, hearing that, Fu Yunqing didn’t push further. “Good night.”

            

This time, neither spoke again. The dim light drifted over them, feather-light, almost hypnotic. Fu Yunqing felt Yu Yan’s breathing gradually grow even in her arms. She must have fallen asleep. Fu Yunqing closed her eyes too.

Fu Yunqing thought that Yanyan probably felt she was cured now and had some resistance to hospitals. There was still time before they returned to Yuncheng. She could coax her slowly here, and coax her slowly after they got back. She’d get her to the hospital eventually.

That night was the most peaceful sleep either of them had had in days. When their biological clocks woke them the next morning, neither wanted to get up. They slept in until nearly noon.

            

Weicheng was sunny again today, with only a little lingering snow on the ground. Fu Yunqing had already washed up and changed into the clothes Assistant Liang had brought. Yu Yan was still in her loose, slouchy robe, sprawled on the bed, propping her chin in her hand as she leisurely admired the bright, sunlit seascape through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

The winter sea under the sun was a vivid azure, glittering with light. She was in a good mood today—everything looked beautiful.

“Want to go out for a bit later?” Fu Yunqing sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, careful not to block her view. She ran a hand soothingly down her spine.

            

“Mm~”

She could go out for a bit. Inside the warm, heated room, she’d already forgotten last night’s biting wind.

“Then how about breakfast first? Assistant Liang arrived earlier—she brought your documents. They’re right there.” Fu Yunqing pointed to the document envelope on the nightstand. She’d planned to return them to Yu Yan, so after Assistant Liang delivered them, she’d set them there where Yanyan could see them as soon as she woke.

            

Whether she hadn’t noticed or not, she hadn’t picked them up.

Yu Yan glanced at the envelope, then at her, and turned back to the view. “Jiejie can hold onto them for me.”

“Hm?” Fu Yunqing was a little surprised.

            

Yu Yan shifted, resting her head on her lap to watch the sea. Fu Yunqing’s seat caught the sunlight, and so did she, narrowing those pretty eyes. She said carelessly, “Could jiejie have forgotten that I’m always losing things? What if I lose them?”

A small thrill of delight passed through Fu Yunqing. She smiled. “Okay.”

They spent a leisurely day in Weicheng. The next day, they again slept in until they woke naturally. At three in the afternoon, bundled up warmly, they boarded a flight to Hokkaido. Only a few days remained until Yu Yan’s birthday. Before takeoff, she’d specifically checked the weather forecast: January 19th in Hokkaido—heavy snow.

            

Heavy snow. The wind at the sea would be fierce, the waves wild. Would the seawater freeze? Would the waves shove ice onto the shore? Would the snow fall like a torrential downpour, or like the scene she’d once dreamed of—misty and blurred, unable to make out the silhouette of anyone ahead?

Her wish—how could it be so violent and yet so romantic.

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