On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 53

Not Lying

Has jiejie forgiven me?

She didn’t remember.

            

She didn’t remember any of it.

She didn’t remember how she had been able to make Fu Yunqing say things like “I love you” and “I really miss you” to her, nor did she remember why she had left or how she had made Fu Yunqing so sad and heartbroken. She had forgotten the feelings between them that could once be called “love.” She didn’t remember; she was truly so lost. But shaken by the feelings expressed by the woman before her—someone who was familiar yet actually not that familiar—she couldn’t help but tremble, her heart trembling along with her.

Her nose grew prickly again. She spoke, her voice thick and wet, “Fu Yunqing, I don’t remember.”

            

“…What?”

“I have amnesia¹. I don’t remember what happened between us. I don’t remember any of the things you just said—truly. My memory stops right at three years ago, when we first got married. I don’t remember a single thing that happened over these last three years.”

Sensing the shift in Fu Yunqing’s gaze from utter shock to deep suspicion, Yu Yan knew she probably thought this was just another lie. She didn’t want her to misunderstand. Gathering her chaotic thoughts, she tried to explain, “I know amnesia sounds like something that only happens in stories, but I’m not lying to you. When I woke up, I was in a hospital. But right before I passed out, I was in Ireland getting married to you. I was so confused, and everything I said to Lu Yu was completely incongruous². Lu Yu asked me if I had lost my memory, and the doctor took me for scans and confirmed it. I couldn’t believe it at all. I thought I was dreaming.”

            

Suddenly remembering something, Yu Yan hastily brushed aside her hair on her temple to show her the injury. “Look! Lu Yu said I fainted from low blood sugar and hit myself here. And there’s the doctor’s report—you can ask my doctor, or you can ask Lu Yu! Fu Yunqing, I’m not lying to you, I really lost my memory…” Her voice grew thick with tears.

Dazed, Fu Yunqing raised her hand, gently parting Yu Yan’s hair to inspect the wound. A faint, healed scar remained on her fair temple. Fu Yunqing remembered this injury. She had seen it during a video call with Yu Yan a while ago and had asked how it happened, but Yu Yan had been drunk at the time and only mumbled incoherently.

The scar, which had once been scabbed over, was now barely visible.

            

She hit her head. She lost her memory…

Fu Yunqing was in disbelief. “…Is it true?”

She really did not want this to be just an excuse Yu Yan was using to deceive her; she did not want Yu Yan to still be lying to her at a time like this.

            

“I’ll show you the doctor’s diagnostic report³.” Speaking with absolute certainty, Yu Yan pulled out her phone. Wiping away the tears that threatened to spill, she opened the hospital’s mini-app to retrieve her files and handed the screen to Fu Yunqing. “It’s real.”

“I didn’t lie to you.”

Fu Yunqing took the phone, her eyes scanning the screen with urgent focus. “Head trauma… retrograde amnesia⁴…” Her heart seized. She looked up, staring at Yu Yan in utter shock. “You…”

            

“I really didn’t lie to you.”

“Do you know how much I’ve wanted to tell you? In my memory, we had just finished our wedding ceremony, and we rode back to the manor together. You went to remove your makeup, and I was lying on the sofa resting. As I lay there, I suddenly missed you so much. I got up to look for you, but before I could take two steps, my vision went black, and I didn’t know anything after that.”

“I don’t know how long I slept. It felt like a constant nightmare. When I woke up, I was in a hospital ward, and Lu Yu was right beside me. She kept saying all these things I couldn’t understand, and she bought me roadside boxed meals to eat. I got angry at her, and then the doctor she called took me for exams. That’s when I found out I had amnesia. For the longest time, I couldn’t believe it. I had no idea how to face it.”

            

Recalling the helplessness and despair of that moment, the grievances that had accumulated over these days seemed to overflow all at once, bursting past her control. The rims of Yu Yan’s eyes flushed a deeper crimson. She lowered her head, and a single tear dripped down, dampening the floor. She sniffled, trying to adjust her emotions, but as soon as she opened her mouth, her voice was a trembling sob:

“I just fell asleep, and when I woke up, everything had changed. Everything was gone. I was so, so scared. I tried calling Yu Lan, but she wouldn’t pick up. I sent her texts, but she never replied—it was like she had just vanished from the face of the earth. I had no money, and I had no home. I wanted to find you, but you weren’t there either.”

“I searched my WeChat and couldn’t find you, and I couldn’t remember your number. Lu Yu told me that we were divorced—that because my mother had scammed your family so badly, you didn’t want me anymore.”

            

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

She kept her head down, repeating her apologies over and over. Fu Yunqing turned her face away, staring up at the ceiling, her own eyes swimming with tears. Unable to bear it, in the next second, she turned back and pulled Yu Yan into her arms.

Yu Yan froze in her embrace, her fingers wrapping around Fu Yunqing’s coat a beat too late. Fu Yunqing held her tightly around the waist, cradling the back of her head. Yu Yan leaned in, and Fu Yunqing tilted her neck back to let her rest her head in the hollow of her collarbone. The normally cold and self-possessed woman’s nose was red, tears spilling over her eyelashes.

            

No money, no home—hearing these words, Fu Yunqing’s heart ached so much she could barely breathe. No one could bear to see her child left so lonely and helpless. This ran completely counter to Fu Yunqing’s original intention of letting her go.

Fainting from low blood sugar and hitting her head… why did she have low blood sugar in the first place? Had she not been eating properly? To fall so hard that she lost her memory… As Fu Yunqing stroked Yu Yan’s spine, she felt how much thinner she was than before. Remembering how Yu Yan now suffered from severe menstrual pain, she could not suppress her heartache.

Pressing her chin against her forehead, Fu Yunqing held her, feeling her presence deeply.

            

She said, “Tomorrow, I’m taking you to the hospital for another checkup.”

Hearing this, Yu Yan backed out of her arms and looked up. With her face covered in tear tracks, she asked her, “Do you believe me?”

“I wasn’t lying.”

            

Fu Yunqing looked down at her, raised her hand, and used the web of her hand to gently wipe her cheeks. “I believe you.”

But she still needed to know the exact state of her health. She was terrified that Yu Yan might have some lingering damage or long-term sequelae, and even more terrified that the amnesia might have been triggered by something else entirely. She didn’t dare to imagine such things, nor could she bear the thought of what they might mean.

Yu Yan: “Do you really believe me?”

            

Fu Yunqing: “Really, I believe you.”

She answered firmly. Yu Yan’s lips curved slightly, feeling lucky in her heart, and she quickly took the opportunity to ask, “Then have you forgiven me?”

In a soft, pleading voice, she explained, “I wasn’t trying to win you back while messing around with other people on the side. I just thought you didn’t want me anymore, so I… I didn’t know. I didn’t know we shared such a deep bond. I didn’t mean it. All those things I said last night were just drunken nonsense because I had too much to drink. I didn’t actually want to be kept⁵ by anyone. We were just having a drink together, honestly.” Although she felt a tiny bit guilty, everything she said was really the truth!

            

“Jiejie, forgive me, okay? Don’t be mad at me anymore…” Acting cute to admit her faults, she wrapped her arms around Fu Yunqing once more, burying her face in her chest to plead.

It wasn’t just Yu Yan who felt relieved; Fu Yunqing could finally convince herself that Yanyan hadn’t done any of those things on purpose. It wasn’t that she didn’t care—she simply hadn’t known. She had lost her memory, forgetting everything that had come before.

At a time like this, how could she possibly find it in her heart to blame her?

            

“I’m not angry anymore.”

“…”

Fu Yunqing really softened up so easily for her; she became gentle all of a sudden.

            

Secretly delighted, Yu Yan snuggled deeper into her embrace. Fu Yunqing held her securely, lowering her head to press closer and closer, as if trying to melt away any distance left between them.

After holding each other for a while, both of their emotions began to settle. Yu Yan’s tears had dried, but she made no move to pull away. Fu Yunqing didn’t push her, either, standing steadily to let her hug and lean on her, looking completely patient and loving, cherishing her beyond measure.

Once she had her fill of hugging, Yu Yan reached out and lightly nudged her waist, and Fu Yunqing let go. Yu Yan looked up at her, meeting her gaze, which was completely different from before and could only be described as tender, and suddenly found herself at a loss for words, feeling a sudden wave of bashfulness.

            

As the passion settled into calm, and with everything seemingly laid out in the open, the atmosphere turned peculiar. It felt dry, tinged with a strange awkwardness.

Yu Yan felt a little awkward, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to say.

Glancing over at the noodles on the desk, she finally remembered that Fu Yunqing hadn’t eaten yet. She quickly said, “Your noodles have gone all soggy and clumped together.”

            

“It’s fine.”

“They definitely won’t taste good anymore. I’ll go downstairs and have the chef make you another bowl.”

Not wanting her to leave, Fu Yunqing caught her by the wrist. “It’s fine,” she insisted. “There’s no need. This is perfectly fine.”

            

“Okay… then hurry up and eat,” Yu Yan said. “I’ll stay with you.”

Yu Yan brought over a chair from nearby, sitting next to her and going nowhere else. Seeing her red-rimmed eyes and the lingering tear tracks, Yu Yan pulled out a tissue and reached over to gently wipe them away. Fu Yunqing let her cup her face, her eyes fixed on Yu Yan, letting her do as she pleased.

Knowing her Fu-jiejie’s skin was delicate and fearing she might chafe it, Yu Yan carefully used the tissue to dab away the tear stains.

            

Seeing her like this, Yu Yan felt an indescribable feeling in her heart, feeling her chest weighted down, a little out of breath. This was the first time she had ever seen Fu Yunqing like this. Yesterday, this same Fu-jiejie had been cold and fierce to her; today, out of pure heartache, she was shedding tears for her.

Yu Yan didn’t know how to ease this heavy feeling.

“All done…”

            

Fu Yunqing turned back to her noodles. She lifted the noodles into her mouth, her movements fast yet elegant. To Yu Yan, however, it seemed as though she couldn’t taste a thing, as if she were simply swallowing air.

“Is it really still good?” Yu Yan couldn’t help but ask, curious. After sitting for so long, the noodles surely lacked any chewiness.

“Mm.”

            

“Then I want to try some, can I?”

Slightly surprised, Fu Yunqing glanced at her. But Yu Yan had already leaned in, so she picked up a mouthful with her chopsticks and fed her. Yu Yan slurped it up. It was a bizarre moment to be sharing a bowl of noodles, but Fu Yunqing, of course, would not mind Yanyan using the same pair of chopsticks as her.

“It’s okay.” They weren’t completely mushy or clumped yet, so Fu Yunqing wasn’t forcing herself.

            

“Do you want more?” her Fu-jiejie asked. “Have you had dinner yet?”

“I’ve eaten. I was just tasting it, you eat.”

Yu Yan stopped looking at the bowl, sitting beside her and watching her intently. Fu Yunqing couldn’t act entirely natural under her gaze, but at the very least, her heart was at peace and filled with relief, no longer gripped by that agonizing pain. She quickly finished off the noodles, and Yu Yan said, “I’ll take the bowl downstairs.”

            

“No need, just let someone come and get it.”

“Oh…”

As a similarly sensitive person, Fu Yunqing also noticed the unnatural atmosphere and asked her, “Are you still sleepy?”

            

Yu Yan shook her head. “But I feel like you’re so tired, your dark circles are really heavy.”

“Mm, I haven’t been sleeping well recently.”

Yu Yan also remembered running into her in the coffee shop with An Qiu a few days ago, when she had dragged Teacher An away like that, avoiding her as if she were the plague. She must have been so sad then.

            

It was all Yu Yan’s fault, all Yu Yan’s. Yu Yan, Eighteen Subduing Dragon Palms⁶.

Yu Yan felt extremely guilty and urged, “Then hurry up and go rest.”

Fu Yunqing didn’t move, gazing at her.

            

She was holding back her surging emotions; some words did not need to be spoken to be understood.

Yu Yan’s long eyelashes trembled slightly, and she lowered her eyes. After hesitating for a moment, she took her hand and said those three words again: “I’ll stay with you.”

This villa had been a wedding gift to her from Fu Yunqing, but it wasn’t their primary residence. Because Yu Yan loved lively places and the suburbs were far too quiet, they usually lived in the city center, only coming here occasionally to unwind. Even so, the traces of living here were quite prominent, and daily necessities and clothing were fully stocked.

            

Accompanying Fu Yunqing back to their former bedroom, Yu Yan watched as she grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to shower. Left alone outside with nothing to do, Yu Yan sent a WeChat message to Lu Yu: 【I told her I have amnesia】

Lu Yu replied in seconds: 【She believed it? Then what?】

Yu Yan: 【I showed her the diagnostic report, so she believed me. She said she’s taking me to the hospital tomorrow.】

            

Lu Yu: 【So what’s the situation between you two now? Are you going to come back to live here in the future?】

Yu Yan: 【I still don’t know.】

Fu Yunqing had said she had spent every single day of their separation in agony, missing her. With her desire to have Yu Yan back by her side burning so fiercely, Yu Yan didn’t dare to imagine how Fu Yunqing would react if she said she wanted to leave now.

            

It was over. On an impulse, she had said all kinds of sweet talk just to seek forgiveness, and now she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to.

Lu Yu, on the other hand, was quite easygoing: 【Fine, she’s a super rich lady, your hard days are over. You won’t have to cry yourself to sleep under the blankets anymore.】

Yu Yan: 【I didn’t cry under the blankets!】

            

Lu Yu: 【Sure, sure, sure.】

Lu Yu: 【You absolutely must not tell her that I helped you block her. I’m scared.】

What a piece of work, Lu Yu—actually daring to instigate her to block Fu-jiejie, making Fu-jiejie so sad and angry. Truly, she deserved ten thousand deaths.

            

Yu Yan wanted to scare her a little, but just then, Fu Yunqing pushed open the bathroom door and stepped out. Seeing Yu Yan smiling at her phone, Fu Yunqing’s eyes darkened slightly. “Who are you chatting with?”

Yu Yan looked up and put her phone away. “Lu Yu,” she said. “I told her I’m not going back to live tonight.”

Fu Yunqing’s eyes softened a bit. She had washed her long hair and was drying it with a towel. Yu Yan stood up and eagerly said, “I’ll help you blow-dry your hair.”

            

Fu Yunqing: “Mm.”

Yu Yan went to the vanity to grab the hair dryer, made Fu Yunqing sit on the chair in front of the dressing table, and used the warm air to help her blow-dry her hair. The damp, cool long hair quickly became fluffy and smooth. Fu Yunqing’s hair was very long, and its quality was excellent—it was obvious at a glance that it had never been permed or dyed. It was also exceptionally fragrant, filling the entire room with the scent of her shampoo.

Had Yu Yan used the same shampoo as her today? How come she hadn’t found it so fragrant? Jiejie’s neck was also so white.

            

“That’s enough.” Worried that Yu Yan might tire, Fu Yunqing called a halt once her hair was mostly dry. Yu Yan hung the dryer back onto its wall mount by the vanity. When she returned, she saw Fu Yunqing applying her skincare products. Unsure of what to do with herself, she decided to simply put into practice her resolve to stay with her, dragging a stool from nearby to sit beside her and keep her company.

Fu Yunqing turned her head to look at her, and she giggled sillily.

After giggling, she began to think: How did we used to get along? She didn’t remember at all, and right now she had absolutely no sense of reality—sharing a room so warmly with Fu-jiejie who had just showered felt like a dream.

            

A moment later, Fu Yunqing finished her skincare routine and stood up. Yu Yan immediately stood up as well, looking rather endearing. Fu Yunqing cupped her face, gazing at her tenderly. “Time for bed?”

“Mm…”

Knowing she was about to share a bed with her… Yu Yan found she wasn’t nearly as uninhibited as she had imagined. Facing a situation like this made her extremely nervous.

            

On their wedding night, she didn’t seem so reserved; on the contrary, she was very expectant and proactive. Back then, her relationship with Fu Yunqing was at its best, and she could be completely unrestrained around Fu-jiejie. Now, it was completely different.

Fu Yunqing was much quieter now, carrying far more emotional weight. Their relationship was no longer as simple and clear as it had been three years ago, nor was it suitable for Yu Yan to act so boldly.

She climbed into bed first. A moment later, Fu Yunqing lifted the duvet, and a rich, fragrant warmth flooded the covers. The bed was massive—a full two meters wide⁷. Yu Yan lay on one side, and Fu Yunqing lay on the other, leaving a gap wide enough to fit two more people between them. Fu Yunqing didn’t say anything, and after a moment of silence, Yu Yan’s heart began to itch with restlessness.

            

She thought to herself, This won’t do, I have to be more proactive. Turning onto her side, she watched the woman lying quietly beside her and asked curiously, “Did we use to sleep in the same bed before, too?”

Fu Yunqing softly hummed an “Mm.”

Yu Yan: “In the beginning, was I the one who pestered you to sleep with you?”

            

“Yes.”

Becoming even more gossipy, she asked, “Did we hug when we slept?”

Fu Yunqing turned her head to look at her.

            

Yu Yan wiggled her body, closing the distance in a few quick shifts until she was pressed right against her side. Stopping there, she stared eagerly into her eyes. As their gazes locked, Yu Yan suddenly threw herself forward, burrowing straight into her embrace.

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