On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 58
by Little PandaBedtime Story
Nurturing Her Child
Fu Yunqing held the flowers as the two of them walked to the riverbank to watch the sunset.
There was always a sense of urgency when looking at a sunset. Because one knew how fleeting it was, there was a constant fear that it would slip away in a single moment of distraction; even staring directly at it could not stop its inevitable fade. Across the river, the smudge of orange-red at the edge of the city slowly dimmed in their eyes, preparing to rise anew on the other side of the earth. It vanished behind the tallest building in the distance, handing the sky over to the night.
The temperature plunged rapidly. Fearing that Yu Yan would catch a cold in her thin clothes, Fu Yunqing ushered her back into the car early on.
With the flowers placed in the back seat, they chatted idly as Fu Yunqing drove. This comfortable rhythm drew them closer, and the intense anxiety Yu Yan had felt the previous night began to dissolve.
Growing up, Yu Yan had become accustomed to flirting with women. She often heard her friends complain about losing their freedom once they entered a relationship, which left her with a preconceived notion that committing to someone would be suffocating and high-pressure. Consequently, whenever she sensed the other person was about to make things official or confess their feelings, she would start to avoid them, run away, and resort to cold violence1. It was a very trashy, irresponsible way to act.
Perhaps it was because Fu Yunqing was too gentle and indulged her too much, but Yu Yan found being with her remarkably easy. It was nothing like the stifling control she had imagined; instead, she felt as though she still held the upper hand. As long as she could coax a smile out of Fu Yunqing, she could play with her at will.
Granted, this woman wouldn’t let her play in the water or catch fish to bring home for the cat, and she refused to let her linger by the riverbank after dark, saying she was afraid she would catch a cold.
But how could that be considered a restriction? It could only be counted as a mother’s concern.
Fearing she would catch a cold, when Fu Yunqing felt her hands were icy, she would hold them to warm them up, sternly telling her it was time to go home. When she was with a woman like this, she had absolutely no spare thoughts for other women, okay?
So, when were they going to remarry?
Her certificates and documents all seemed to still be at Lu Yu’s place.
Did remarrying still require holding another wedding?
But if she remarried, what about her older cousin?
She had promised her older cousin that she would bring gifts to see her cats and eat her curry chicken next time—she absolutely couldn’t go back on her word.
For some inexplicable reason, Grandmother Fu’s face—aged and weathered, yet kind and gentle—suddenly floated into Yu Yan’s mind. This reminded her of how Yu Lan had swindled the Fu Corporation, landing Grandmother Fu in the hospital for a week. Instantly, her heart filled with shame and guilt. Did Grandmother Fu hate her family to death now? If they were to remarry, what if Grandmother Fu refused to agree?
Arriving at the front door, she waited for Fu Yunqing to go in first, then asked with a highly guilty conscience, “By the way, how is Grandmother’s health these days?”
“Hmm?” Slightly surprised by the question, Fu Yunqing set the flowers on the entryway console, took off her overcoat to hang it on the rack, and crouched down to scoop up the cat that was padding over to greet them. “Her health isn’t as robust as it used to be. She has occasional minor ailments.”
Oh no, Yu Yan thought. She hastily asked, “Was it because my mother made her so angry that she ended up in the hospital?”
Fu Yunqing was taken aback for a moment. She stood up and looked at her. “You know about that?”
“Lu Yu told me.”
Fu Yunqing didn’t continue the topic of how Grandmother was doing. Keeping her gaze fixed on her, she asked, “What else did Lu Yu tell you?”
Sensitively detecting that her gaze was a fraction different from the relaxed atmosphere of moments ago, the cat began to rub against Yu Yan’s legs, but now was hardly the time to pet her. Yu Yan hesitated for a second. “She also told me that it was because of the mistakes my mother made that you divorced me.”
“No,” Fu Yunqing denied instantly and firmly.
“It wasn’t like that, Yanyan.” Fu Yunqing walked over to her, took her hand, and told her with absolute sincerity, “That wasn’t your fault. It had nothing to do with you. I didn’t blame you, and neither did Grandmother. What’s more, I would never give up on you because of those things.”
Yu Yan remained silent, looking as if she didn’t know whether to believe her. Knowing that Yanyan was sensitive, and not wanting her to feel anxious or guilty, Fu Yunqing coaxed, “Really. Grandmother is a reasonable person; she wouldn’t misdirect her anger onto you, and neither would I.”
She said, “Grandmother even asked about you today.”
Following her lead, Yu Yan asked, “What did she ask?”
“Well…” Fu Yunqing drew out the suspense for a moment, then offered a gentle smile. “She asked, ‘How is Yanyan doing lately? Has she lost any weight? Has she grown taller? When is she coming to see me? I haven’t seen her in so long, I really miss her.’ ”
Yu Yan burst out laughing.
Did Fu Yunqing really think she was a child who was so easily fooled? Those words clearly weren’t spoken by Grandmother, okay?
Seeing that she didn’t believe her, Fu Yunqing knitted her brows. “It’s true. Why don’t you believe me?”
It turned out Fu Yunqing could also make such an expression—looking a little hurt, a little aggrieved.
Well then, Yu Yan immediately cast aside all logic and principles. Not letting a woman be sad was her primary rule in life.
She immediately said, “I believe you. I’ll believe whatever you say, jiejie.”
“Really?” Fu Yunqing asked skeptically.
“Of course it’s true. As true as my heart.” It was not sincere in the slightest, just sweet talk.
Fu Yunqing turned her face away with a trace of pride, letting out a soft “Hmph.” She seemed to want to ignore her, yet couldn’t bear to. Grabbing her hand, she said to her with a slight edge of warning, “No lying to me.”
This was the first time Yu Yan realized that Fu Yunqing could also throw a childish tantrum.
Yu Yan also liked to throw childish tantrums, but Fu-jiejie was much easier to coax than her. As long as she promised she wouldn’t lie to her, her heart would soften and she would forgive her.
Fu Yunqing carried the flowers into the living room, unwrapped the bouquet from its wrapping paper, found a vase, and arranged them in water.
She said she wanted to take this one back to her room.
Going upstairs together, they stopped in front of the master bedroom.
Fu-jiejie had set aside her rare delicate petulance and returned to her usual self, softly telling her to go to sleep early. Yu Yan pressed down the door handle and pushed the door open to enter, but the large black cat lingered at the threshold, unwilling to go in.
She circled around Fu Yunqing’s legs, rubbing against her with her chin and looking up to meow. Yu Yan had no idea what this meant, but Fu Yunqing understood.
Yanyan and Honey were both her children. When it came to her kids, her heart was always soft; whenever they had a need, she couldn’t bear to deny them. Crouching down to pet the cat’s head, she picked up Honey—who had begun clawing at her thighs again—and held her by her two front paws. Looking down at her, she instructed in a soft, gentle voice, “Be good, sweetheart. No making a fuss while sleeping with jiejie, and no late-night parkour. Taking care of jiejie for Mama is what a good child does.”
As she spoke, Fu Yunqing buried her face and kissed her cheeks twice.
Yu Yan watched this scene in a daze.
Fu Yunqing set Honey down. Her desire satisfied, the little cat held her tail high and walked into the room on her own, starting to rub against Yu Yan’s trouser legs.
She thought, This clumsy human still doesn’t understand my meaning. She didn’t pick me up to pet and kiss me like Mama did.
“What are you zoning out for?” Fu Yunqing’s amused reminder snapped her back to reality. She blinked her eyes in confusion. “Oh… nothing. Goodnight.”
“Mhm, goodnight.” The woman’s gaze was tender, standing outside the door with restraint.
Closing the door and returning to the room, Yu Yan hadn’t walked more than two steps before she turned back to look at the heavy, dark wooden door.
She finally realized she should comfort the clinging cat. Holding the cat in her arms, she sat on the sofa, yet her mind remained entirely elsewhere.
Before her eyes was the cat’s face, squinting in pure enjoyment, yet her mind was constantly replaying the scene from moments ago.
Honey had been so reluctant to part with her; she must have wanted to stay with Mama, and Fu Yunqing must have been so reluctant to part with Honey too.
Two thoughts lingered persistently in Yu Yan’s mind.
First, she felt she was being a little too much, and that Fu-jiejie was a bit pitiful. Clearly, Fu Yunqing had raised Honey all on her own after the divorce, yet she had monopolized Honey, leaving her to sleep all alone and lonely in the guest room.
Second, Fu Yunqing had kissed Honey, but she hadn’t kissed her.
And she felt that Fu Yunqing did it on purpose!
Lost in her thoughts, Yu Yan only snapped out of her daze when she heard the muffled patter of falling rain. She looked toward the window. Countless droplets, like glittering pearls, clung to the glass pane, accumulating until they joined together and raced downward, leaving long, wet trails in their wake. The bustling night scene outside grew blurry and mist-shrouded.
It was raining. Was it windy outside?
Separated by a thick sheet of glass, Yu Yan could feel nothing. The room was quiet and warm; this was probably the greatest happiness of a winter rainy night.
Looking down, the black bundle curled in her arms was sleeping very soundly. Sigh, she really envied cats. All they had to do was curl up in someone’s arms and think of nothing at all, completely free of exhausting and brain-racking things like romance.
Love and romance really were brain-racking. Even now, Yu Yan was still agonizing over it, her mind filled with guilt toward Fu-jiejie, and with the warm, maternal image of Fu Yunqing picking Honey up to cradle and kiss her, overflowing with motherly love.
In the past, she had always felt Fu-jiejie was a bit too detached and ethereal, like she didn’t belong to the mortal world; she couldn’t have imagined her doing something like kissing a kitten at all, okay?
Fu Yunqing had actually kissed a kitten, and with two soft kissing noises at that. When she kissed her, she had flattened Honey’s upturned whiskers, turning her into a winking kitten. She had even called her “sweetheart,” looking at her with such a gentle gaze, a faint smile playing on her lips.
Ah! Fu Yunqing was truly too much.
Yu Yan couldn’t take it anymore. Gently placing the sleeping cat on the sofa, she got up and went to the bathroom for a shower, attempting to clear her head and toss the woman’s allure to the back of her mind.
She took her sweet time washing her hair and body. When the kitten woke up and couldn’t find anyone, she squatted by the bathroom door to peek for a long time, earning herself a scolding from Yu Yan for being a stinky hooligan.
In reality, Honey was just a kind little girl who worried about her jiejie’s safety.
Drying her hair as she walked out, the cat trotted eagerly behind her. The rain outside had intensified at some point, driven by the wind to lash heavily and intensely against the window.
It seemed like Yuncheng hadn’t seen such a heavy rain in a very long time, and in the dead of winter, too.
Yu Yan sat down to blow-dry her hair. Surprisingly, the kitten wasn’t afraid of the hair dryer and didn’t run away. She just stood nearby with her ears flattened back into airplane ears, keeping her company through the entire process.
As Yu Yan got up to hang up the dryer, a sudden bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the outside as bright as day. In the next instant, a massive boom of thunder was deafening. The kitten was terrified out of her wits and bolted in all directions. In her panic, she scrambled to squeeze under the sofa; because she was so large, she had to thrash her back legs for a while before she finally managed to get inside.
Yu Yan was also startled.
Heavens, how was it so loud? For a moment, she couldn’t even tell if it was thunder or an explosion somewhere. Her heart was hammering from the shock of the massive noise. Before she could even recover, another giant rumble boomed. Her face pale, Yu Yan instinctively looked toward the door, holding back the urge to run out and find her. Feeling a prickle of tears, she rushed to the bedside table to unplug her phone from its charger. At that moment, two messages from Fu Yunqing popped up on the screen.
Fu-jiejie: 【It’s thundering】
Fu-jiejie: 【Do you want me to keep you company?】
Yu Yan’s heart skipped a beat.
Tears welled in her eyes.
Fu Yunqing knew she was afraid of thunder, didn’t she? With a personality like Yu Yan’s, if she was scared of anything, she would definitely tell her jiejie. Heaven knew how much she loved the woman’s protective and pained expressions.
Playing pitiful was real, and being scared was also real. Cold sweat was breaking out on Yu Yan’s palms, and without a second thought, she replied: 【Yes】
Fu Yunqing replied instantly: 【Open the door for me then, darling】
Yu Yan was taken aback for a moment. Looking back, she immediately set her phone down and jogged over to pull the door open. Fu Yunqing was indeed standing right outside.
She wore a white silk bathrobe, her body radiating the rich scent of body wash. Her long hair fell lazily over her shoulders, slightly damp, indicating she had also just showered.
Her bare face looked so fair and clean, lacking some of her usual cool detachment. She looked so beautiful wearing a bathrobe instead of her formal attire—mature, elegant, and exceptionally sexy.
Yu Yan stared blankly at her. Fu Yunqing took a step inside, drawing closer and bringing her fragrant scent with her.
“Were you startled just now?”
With her eyes still red, Yu Yan said aggrievedly, “I was scared…”
Fu Yunqing stroked her head, her eyes filled with tenderness and regret. “I forgot to check the weather forecast. I should have warned you. It’s my fault.”
Knowing Yu Yan was terrified of sudden, loud noises like thunder, when they were together, she had checked the weather forecast every single day, taking care to warn her ahead of any abnormal weather like rain or high winds.
Yu Yan shook her head and mumbled, “How could it be your fault? It’s the thunder’s fault.”
Fu Yunqing was amused and laughed. Suddenly, another flash of lightning flared. Yu Yan widened her eyes to look, but before she could even react, her ears were covered by a pair of warm, soft hands. The movement of these hands was gentle yet firm. When Yu Yan turned her head, she locked eyes with the woman’s calm, steady, and reliable gaze. As a result, when the thunder crashed a second later, Yu Yan couldn’t even tell if it was the thunder or her own racing pulse.
She is so good at this…
Yu Yan thought, Did Fu-jiejie always shield me from the thunder like this in the past?
No wonder she had fallen in love with her. She had to admit, the woman was indeed incredibly charming.
The thunder passed, and Fu Yunqing released her hands. Feeling a faint, tingling numbness in her ears, Yu Yan reached up awkwardly to touch them.
“Were you scared?”
“No…”
Fu Yunqing asked, “Where is Honey?”
“Honey…?” Yu Yan turned her head to look around. “She ran off in fear. I don’t know where she went.”
Fu Yunqing smiled. “I bet she’s under the sofa.”
Yu Yan looked back, and sure enough, before long, a cat head poked out from beneath the sofa.
Wow, how did Fu Yunqing know? It was truly amazing.
“It’s eleven-thirty. Are you sleepy?”
Eleven-thirty was already long past the bedtime Fu Yunqing used to set for her. Although she wanted to spend more time with her, she also hoped Fu Yunqing could go to bed on time.
“I’m not that sleepy yet.”
“You’ve just briefly woken up from being startled, but you’re actually already sleepy.”
Yu Yan couldn’t help but marvel, “jiejie, how do you know everything? You knew Honey was under the sofa, and you knew I was sleepy.”
Fu Yunqing laughed softly. “Of course I know my own children.”
“…” Yu Yan felt embarrassed again.
“Alright, go to sleep.” Fu Yunqing reached out and touched her waist, nudging her inward. Yu Yan complied, her mind completely filled with that phrase: “Of course I know my own children.”
Yu Yan lay in bed and covered herself with the duvet. The sound of heavy rain mixed with thunder, sometimes far and sometimes near, echoed in her ears, yet everything felt so quiet. Because someone was by her side, Yu Yan wasn’t afraid of anything anymore. The lights were turned off, leaving only a dim lamp on the bedside table. The warm, yellow glow made the blankets feel even cozier. Fu Yunqing just sat quietly by the bed, her slightly upturned eyes cast downward, as she said softly, “Sleep peacefully. I’ll leave once the rain stops.”
“…”
She was truly so gentle.
Yu Yan admitted she was truly infatuated with her. She had been born with a disposition that was easily seduced by women, a trait that simply couldn’t be corrected. She stared straight at her, unwilling to close her eyes, yet didn’t say a word.
Fu Yunqing didn’t urge or blame her. Tilting her head slightly, she asked, “Do you want to hear a bedtime story?”
A bedtime story?
Yu Yan found it incredibly unfamiliar. She had only ever heard of this term when she was in kindergarten.
When she was in kindergarten, from television, her classmates’ mouths, and textbooks, she knew that cherished children could listen to their mothers tell bedtime stories. Unfortunately, her maternal grandmother already had presbyopia back then, unable to see the words in books clearly. The stories she could tell were all rural supernatural events passed down from the older generation. Yu Yan didn’t dare listen at all; once, because of curiosity, she listened, and for several days she didn’t dare use the restroom by herself.
Although she often used this to brag and boast to those kids whose mothers read them fairy tales about how amazing her maternal grandmother was—which was completely out of character for a childish girl—it had earned her a lot of admiration and popularity.
But no child knew what Yu Yan wanted most.
Yu Yan would have willingly traded ten opportunities to listen to her maternal grandmother tell ghost stories for just one chance to listen to a mother tell a fairy tale, even if it was Little Red Riding Hood, which she had already heard countless times in kindergarten.
Pulling herself out of her memories, the face of the woman in front of her became clear once again. As if afraid that Fu Yunqing would see her vulnerability, Yu Yan forced a stiff smile. “What kind of bedtime story?”
Fu Yunqing said, “There are many.”
Yu Yan was surprised. “Many?”
Fu Yunqing smiled faintly. Propping herself up with her hand on the bed, she bent her neck and tenderly brushed Yu Yan’s bangs aside, telling her, “The first time was because you had a high fever and held me while babbling nonsense. You said you wanted Mama to tell you a bedtime story. I asked what you wanted to hear, but you didn’t answer. So, I casually grabbed a book on the bedside table, and you fell asleep while listening to it.”
“The next day, once your fever broke, you still remembered this and said you wanted to hear more.”
“Afterward, as long as you wanted, I would tell you stories. They were always books or passages I happened to be reading at the time.”
“…”
Was that true?
Yu Yan pictured the scene according to Fu Yunqing’s words: she was having a fever, curling up in bed with Fu-jiejie, calling Fu-jiejie “Mama,” and asking her to tell her bedtime stories.
“…” It sounded incredibly embarrassing, but it was undeniable that she really wanted to experience it right now. She knew it would definitely be very comfortable and enjoyable.
At this very moment, she had completely thrown the plan of escaping to the back of her mind.
“Then I want to hear one now, too.”
Fu Yunqing got up to go to the bookshelf to retrieve a book. “Just any random passage?”
“Mhm…”
“Alright.”
Fu Yunqing opened the book, and Yu Yan rolled over, wrapping her arms around her thigh and closing her eyes. Fu Yunqing obviously didn’t think there was any problem with this, letting her do whatever she wanted to her. Snuggling even closer, lying in her arms, resting on her lower abdomen, and being hypnotized while being caressed would be the absolute best.
After several crisp rustles of paper, a gentle and slow voice drifted leisurely into Yu Yan’s ears.
This was an English edition of 《The Painted Veil2》; Yu Yan had once said she liked it very much when Fu Yunqing spoke English.
Fu Yunqing didn’t read from the beginning, but chose a passage she preferred.
“I hope she will be fearless and honest.” She was like a professional, her tone, volume, and pauses all well-controlled, gentle and comfortable, inviting sleep.
“I want her to be a girl who is not dependent on others, self-reliant and true to herself.” Yu Yan thought comfortably, So this is how it feels to listen to a bedtime story, intending to enjoy it thoroughly.
“I want her to live freely and be happier than me…” But Yu Yan began to feel a bit sleepy. She was a bit reluctant to part with the warmth of this moment, but she was truly a bit tired, unable to resist.
“…”
With her face pressed against Fu Yunqing’s thigh, Yu Yan’s consciousness grew more and more scattered, like soaking in a pool and sinking without realizing it, entering dreamland completely defenseless.
On this cold, late-winter thunderstorm night, she had an incredibly hot and humid dream.
She dreamed she returned to a certain memory she had lost. She and Fu Yunqing were nestled in bed together. The patter of rain was striking the window, accompanied by rumbles of thunder that sounded both distant and near, so ethereal they could neither be seen nor grasped. It was as if they were trapped inside a soundproof dome; besides each other’s breathing, all other sounds seemed to come from beyond the universe.
Fu Yunqing was telling her a story.
It was very dark all around, and she couldn’t see Fu Yunqing’s face clearly, but she was certain it was her because of her voice, her scent, and the safe and comfortable feeling she brought, which made Yu Yan feel very secure.
Fu Yunqing drew close to her, the warm crook of her palm caressing her cheek. This kind of touch made Yu Yan feel very comfortable because her hand was so warm.
Fu Yunqing gazed at her without a word, slowly drawing closer and closer. Warm breath sprayed onto Yu Yan’s face, and the air became hot. She pressed her cheek against Yu Yan’s face, nuzzling gently. Yu Yan still felt very comfortable and couldn’t help but nuzzle back against her.
“Mhm…”
Fu Yunqing’s breath drew slightly farther away, but quickly neared again. Their breaths mingled, and Yu Yan felt her lips covered by a soft warmth. That softness opened and closed again, taking her lips in, gently and tenderly sucking on them.
This feeling was much more foreign than a caress. Yu Yan was naive to it, yet she could dimly tell what it was. Her heart was astonished, knowing she was being kissed, and she instinctively wanted to flee… yet she couldn’t refuse.
Accepting even while resisting, the falling kisses became denser and denser.
She quickly forgot how to breathe. Opening her lips slightly, that tiny gap of breath was instantly occupied.
Her breath was stripped away, her body trapped by the dream. A hot feeling spread through her entire body; it was so uncomfortable, so suffocating. She was constantly suffocating, but she knew the person making her suffocate was Fu Yunqing, so she felt no fear. In fact, when the suffocation reached its peak and something seemed on the verge of breaking out, a trace of unspeakable pleasure rose in her body.
Fu Yunqing left her at this moment.
She gasped heavily, still unable to swim out of the vortex of the dream.
Her dream was very beautiful. One second she was in a wooden cabin under a snow mountain, and the next she was on an isolated beach. There were many other places she couldn’t name, always hazy, with a patch of thick fog that couldn’t be brushed away lingering before her eyes. She was a little afraid, as if being chased by something, or as if searching for something, caught in a chaotic, uneasy vortex.
“Boom—”
A sudden crash of thunder scattered the thick fog, and Yu Yan’s vision cleared—she opened her eyes. The dim room and the blurry silhouette of the woman by the bed appeared before her. Her breathing was in disarray, and she panic-strickenly grabbed her wrist.
“Were you scared? It’s okay, it’s alright, I’m here.” Fu Yunqing held her wrist, her gentle and concerned tone making Yu Yan need her even more. The intimacy in the dream made Yu Yan desire her even more. “Hold me while we sleep…”
She pleaded in a fragile and urgent raspy voice, as if she hadn’t fully awakened from the dream.
“Hold me…”
“Alright,” Fu Yunqing agreed without hesitation. Yu Yan hurriedly sat up to let her into the blankets. Fu Yunqing lifted the duvet, and as soon as she sat inside, Yu Yan’s body eagerly pressed against hers. Fu Yunqing wrapped an arm around her waist as they lay down, and Yu Yan lowered her head to curl into her embrace, still uneasy from the lingering shock of the thunder and the dream.
She burrowed her face messily into her chest. The belt of the bathrobe wasn’t tied tightly to begin with, and after all this tossing, the collar fell open, loose and relaxed.
A faint fragrance wafted from her embrace, wrapping her in an airtight sense of security. Her consciousness was as fragile as a baby’s, quickly sinking into sleep. Naively longing for something, she unconsciously searched according to her instinct; once her nose brushed against warm skin, she tilted her head up slightly and parted her lips.
“Suckle…” She suckled with closed eyes, reaching out with her hand to grasp, fiercely protective of her food.
But the woman she was taking from only lowered her head, holding her waist and cradling the back of her head, indulging her every whim.
She felt neither shock nor surprise, nor did she feel any shame. She knew that this was exactly how they used to be—this was what they had done countless times before.
She was merely nurturing her child.
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