On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 75
by Little PandaNightmare
I Hate You
The early morning sun was bright and clear.
Half-asleep, Yu Yan reached out and felt the soft body beside her. Without even opening her eyes, she rolled over with a happy, spoiled sigh and squeezed into her arms.
She hugged her waist, burying her head in her embrace. The bright light was blocked out, and a warm, sweet fragrance radiated from her body. Her steady breathing lingered by her ear, comforting and almost hypnotic.
Fu-jiejie is actually home today? She didn’t go to work? Yu Yan thought sleepily.
After drifting between sleep and waking for a long time, though no one woke her, Yu Yan—who usually loved to laze in bed and sleep in—opened her eyes.
The first thing she saw was the woman’s collarbone. Yu Yan backed away slightly, letting a bit of light spill into their airtight embrace. The clean, delicate skin of her neck came into view. Looking closely, Yu Yan could see pale blue veins tracing across her throat, overlaid with several deep red marks that rose and fell gently with her breathing—fragile yet beautiful.
Yu Yan knew these were the love bites she had left on her the night before, bringing back memories of their passionate tryst. After last night’s passion had gradually receded, Fu Yunqing had lain in bed while Yu Yan used a clean towel, wiping down her sweat-slicked body piece by piece. She had been unable to erase those marks; they remained printed on her skin, becoming a part of her beauty.
It was the first time Yu Yan had beheld such beauty, the first time she had truly possessed it…
Feeling a hand stroking her back, Yu Yan snapped out of her daze. So, Fu Yunqing was awake. Slightly embarrassed that she had stared at the other woman’s neck for so long, she kept her head down and asked in a raspy voice, “You… don’t have to work today? What time is it anyway?”
A voice that sounded remarkably awake compared to hers came from above. “Today is Sunday.”
“It’s only eight. Are you still sleepy?”
Was today Sunday?
Yu Yan’s already buoyant mood soared even higher. She knew, of course, that this meant she could spend the entire day with jiejie.
Even though they usually spent plenty of time together, why was she still so clingy?
She didn’t know why, but she simply felt incredibly happy. Perhaps not wanting to part after doing that kind of thing was just the nature of the honeymoon phase.
She really didn’t want to be apart from her. Staying together meant they could do many more happy things.
“Wu…”
Whenever she was happy, she liked to make little whining and humming sounds. She looked up at her jiejie, pouting and humming, her eyes sparkling. Yet, this warmth collided with Fu Yunqing’s somewhat dark, heavy gaze.
Fu Yunqing looked down at her. The older woman’s own complexion didn’t look good at all; dark circles shadowed the skin under her eyes, and her gaze was no longer bright and clear, but dull, with faint red veins tracing across the whites of her eyes.
Yu Yan froze slightly.
“You…” Yu Yan backed out of her embrace a bit further. “What’s wrong?”
“Didn’t you sleep well last night? Your dark circles are so heavy…” Suddenly realizing something, Yu Yan asked anxiously, “Did I… make you uncomfortable last night?”
Fu Yunqing didn’t reply. She only stared at her intently, and Yu Yan couldn’t help but feel a hint of coldness.
“Are you… in a bad mood?” She knit her brows in concern. The more she looked at those exhausted eyes, the more her heart ached. She raised her hand to caress her cheek. “What’s the matter?”
“…”
“Did you have insomnia?”
“Mm.” Fu Yunqing finally responded, closing her eyes as if suppressing something. “I had insomnia last night.”
“Why? Did you have a nightmare?”
“Yes, I had a nightmare.”
“What kind of nightmare?” Yu Yan asked quickly.
Fu Yunqing said, “I dreamed that you disappeared, and I searched for a long time but couldn’t find you.”
Her expression was so bitter that it was as if she were describing Yu Yan actually vanishing. Yu Yan said hurriedly, “How could that happen?”
“Dreams are always the opposite of reality. I’m right here beside you.”
Fu Yunqing asked in return, “Is that so?”
“Isn’t it?” Yu Yan felt aggrieved and wrapped her arms around her neck. She knew that a hug could comfort people, and it would surely make Fu Yunqing feel her physical presence and banish her nightmare.
She comforted her softly, “I’m being held by you right now, see? I’m not going anywhere.”
Fu Yunqing didn’t answer, but she returned the hug. Yu Yan squeezed closer into her chest, feeling that her comfort was definitely beginning to work.
But she needed to turn up the intensity a bit.
“I won’t leave you, jiejie. I’ll be with you forever and ever. I like you so much…” When it came to speaking sweet, pandering words to women1, Yu Yan was never at a loss. “Dreams really are the opposite of reality. I’m so looking forward to our trip together. I want to go skiing with you, watch the sea, and swim with you. I want you to take pretty pictures of me, and I’ll take pretty pictures of you too. Then we can post them on WeChat Moments so everyone knows we’re back together.”
The more she spoke, the more enthusiastic she became. “I’ve already thought it through. It doesn’t matter where we spend my birthday. As long as you are by my side, that’s enough. Jiejie, Yu Lan abandoned me; you are my only family now. I can’t live without you.”
“I love you. I love you so much, so much…”
How she had suddenly blurted out the words “I love you,” Yu Yan didn’t even know. She couldn’t control herself. She had been this way since she was young; whenever she was flirting with a woman, her mouth would inevitably spout sweet nothings to match the atmosphere. For instance, things she had said in the past: “Xuejie2 is so pretty,” “Jiejie is so beautiful,” “You’re so cute,” “I like you so much,” “I love you so much,” “I can’t live without you,” “I really don’t want to part with you, wu-wu-wu,” and so on and so forth.
Yu Yan herself couldn’t tell if she was being sincere, or if she simply enjoyed seeing women blush and soften for her.
But right now, her desire to coax Fu-jiejie was absolutely purer than 24-karat gold.
Fu Yunqing took a deep breath. Yu Yan sensed that she had moved her; the older woman’s eyes shimmered like a pool of water under an overcast sky.
Yu Yan saw the possessive desire3 in her eyes. Before she could even react, Fu Yunqing cupped the back of her neck, pulled her up, and kissed her.
“Mm…”
Her possessiveness was incredibly obvious in this kiss. It was passionate and deep, easily dragging Yu Yan into her depths until she couldn’t breathe. At the same time, she drowned in the exact same desire as last night, unwilling to stop even if she suffocated.
Last night, the nightgown Fu Yunqing had been wearing was soaked with sweat, and Yu Yan had taken it off with her own hands. She had been incredibly careful back then. After taking it off, seeing her completely naked for the first time, Yu Yan’s face had burned as she held her, taking a long time to calm down.
Now, as she caressed her body, she still felt nothing but smooth skin. Imagining what she was doing, Yu Yan’s face blushed again. Yet, having experienced it after all, she was much bolder than before. She thought about getting out of bed to wash her hands, wondering if she should let Fu Yunqing guide her to try touching her for once.
She seemed to understand a little now where jiejie’s sensitive spots were, and where to touch to make her comfortable.
But Fu Yunqing kept kissing her, preventing her from speaking. She couldn’t summon any strength to push her away. By the time she came to her senses, her own pants had already been pulled off.
“Jiejie… mm…” Yu Yan looked up at the woman over her. Though her senses were already being overwhelmed, she still wanted to insist on her own idea. Her hands rested on her waist as if to push her away, but when the words reached her lips, a wave of intense sensation surged up, and she completely forgot what she wanted to say.
Or rather, she had completely succumbed to her defeat. She pursed her lips tightly, soft whimpers escaping her throat bit by bit. Those hands that had wanted to push her away turned into clutching her waist.
Her eyes gradually grew damp and misty as she unconsciously arched her hips.
Actually, she thoroughly enjoyed it; she loved it.
This body had long since adapted to it. It originally belonged to jiejie; she just needed to find the feeling again.
But she had no idea of Fu Yunqing’s current state of mind. The ambiguous messages still sitting on her phone, the plans to run away that claimed it was impossible to be with her forever, and the olive branches other women had extended to her… every single one of these had dealt Fu Yunqing a devastating blow. Her entire heart had plunged to the bottom of the abyss. She had stayed awake the whole night, unable to process it, unable to bear it.
The anger in her chest was suppressed to the extreme, teetering on the edge of collapse, and she couldn’t help but let it vent through her touch. She suddenly became very fierce. Sensing something was wrong, Yu Yan couldn’t adapt quickly enough. A sob broke from her, and she struggled, crying out, “Mommy…”
Fu Yunqing’s heart trembled.
She knew that if she truly lost control, she would hurt her.
She was her child; she never wanted to hurt her. She didn’t dare let everything collapse, nor did she know how to face it. She was extremely angry, yet she was also terrified.
She was afraid everything would repeat the same disastrous mistakes and return to the starting point.
Her breathing trembled as her movements softened once more, returning to a rhythm that brought Yu Yan comfort. Yu Yan’s expression relaxed, and she opened her eyes to look at her again. Holding no grudge for the roughness Fu Yunqing had just shown, her gaze was dazed and misty as she intuitively murmured, “I love you…”
Love her…
She had said she loved her so many times today. Every time she heard it, Fu Yunqing felt as though she were so close to happiness—yet it felt like a waking illusion, destined to be shattered.
Did she truly love her?
Fu Yunqing quickened her pace once more. Yu Yan immediately found herself unable to bear it and tried to escape, only to be held fast in Fu Yunqing’s embrace.
She couldn’t escape. She could go nowhere. Fu Yunqing was angry.
As she realized this, she had no choice but to cling tightly to her neck, acting spoiled to coax her, begging for a reassuring embrace. Amidst her breakdown, she heard the older woman issue an uncompromising warning: “Stay by my side…”
“You’re not allowed to go anywhere.”
When Yu Yan woke up again in the secondary bedroom’s large bed, it was already one in the afternoon.
The sheets in the master bedroom were soaked through and had to be changed before anyone could sleep there. But she was too exhausted; Fu Yunqing had carried her over here.
At this moment, Fu Yunqing was sitting upright at the desk nearby, handling some work.
She just lay in bed and watched her for quite a while without uttering a word. Fu Yunqing turned her head, saw that she was awake, stopped her work, and stood up to walk over to her.
Yu Yan stared at her fixedly, then ducked under the covers to hide from her as she drew near.
The Fu Yunqing who had a nightmare was so fierce.
The Fu Yunqing who had a nightmare wasn’t gentle at all.
Yu Yan felt very wronged. Her eyes were swollen now; her double eyelids must have swollen so much they looked like single eyelids.
Fu Yunqing sat on the edge of the bed. She didn’t say anything, nor did she pull back the blanket to ask her what was wrong as she usually did. After staying muffled under the covers for a while, Yu Yan poked her head out on her own initiative.
For the sake of her having had a nightmare, Yu Yan decided not to hold it against her.
“Why aren’t you hugging me?” Her voice was hoarse, and since she had only just started speaking, she sounded incredibly spoiled4, her words ending with a trembling trail—so babyish that even Yu Yan herself felt a bit self-conscious.
Fu Yunqing stared at her deeply for a moment before smiling. “Of course I’ll hug you.”
Yu Yan waited for a moment.
Fu Yunqing made no move, still looking at her.
Yu Yan was somewhat dissatisfied.
She clearly just didn’t want to hug her.
All talk, no action.
But fortunately, Yu Yan was always proactive enough. She didn’t plan to bicker with someone who had been scared silly by a nightmare either, so she sat up, rolled over, and actively stuffed herself into her arms.
She hugged her waist, leaning against her shoulder as if boneless, and murmured, “I hate you.”
“You hate me?”
Fu Yunqing asked dryly, “You hate me, yet you still want a hug?”
“Hmph…”
Fu Yunqing indulged her clinginess5 for a while before urging her to go downstairs to eat. It was no longer breakfast, but entirely lunch. The health-conscious woman rarely allowed her to indulge like this, refusing to let her laze in bed any longer.
After finishing her lunch under Fu Yunqing’s supervision, she played with the cat for a bit. It wasn’t until nearly three in the afternoon that Yu Yan returned to the room to retrieve her phone and saw the message An Qiu had sent her at midnight last night—
An Qiu: 【Yanyan, I’ve done some background checks on my end. Your mother’s company declared bankruptcy over a year ago, and she is currently abroad. You’re alone in the country, and it’s been over two years since you graduated. Other than your recent livestreaming, you don’t really have any other career. Haven’t you thought about your future path? What I want to tell you is that everyone in this world is unreliable—your mother is no exception, and others are even less so. You need to have your own career and your own field to support your independent sense of self, rather than depending on others. I’ll say it again, Yanyan: this role is truly a perfect fit for you, and this is a great opportunity. I hope you’ll give it some serious thought. If you have any difficulties, you can always talk to me. There’s no need to rush your reply. Just think it over. Good night.】
The author has something to say:
Yanyan, you don’t actually think she has a point, do you?
Footnotes
- Mei nü (pandering to women) is modern Chinese slang for sweet-talking or deliberately appealing to a female partner.
- Xuejie refers to a senior female classmate or schoolmate.
- Zhanyouyu is a strong desire to possess or control a romantic partner, a recurring theme in high-tension romance novels.
- Dia describes a soft, cute, spoiled, or highly feminine tone of voice.
- Niwai describes a couple being overly clingy, mushy, or lovey-dovey with each other.
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