On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 117

Daily Life

Bonus Extra 2

Be Good

A powerful sense of grievance welled up inside her. Yu Yan’s nose stung, her eyelashes trembled, and a large tear slipped from her eye, spreading on the floor.

            

Yu Yan turned her head and wiped her tears with the back of her hand, sniffling, feeling so wronged. How could Fu Yunqing say such serious things to her? Did Fu Yunqing really find her too difficult to manage and too annoying?

How could Fu Yunqing be like this?

She was surprised, and also a little ashamed and indignant—she’d always relied on Fu Yunqing’s doting to act spoiled, yet now she was being given the cold shoulder. She wanted to sulk, but found she couldn’t bear it at all. She let out a sob, finished wiping her tears, and immediately turned back, both hands pressing the door handle as she called inside: “Jiejie…”

            

“I was wrong. Please don’t ignore me, okay?”

“There won’t be a next time, jiejie… Let me in…”

No response came from behind the door.

            

Fu Yunqing was ignoring her. How could Fu Yunqing ignore her?

This was the first time she’d encountered such coldness… Yu Yan felt an unprecedented panic. She knew she was wrong. She was so afraid Fu Yunqing would ignore her, so afraid Fu Yunqing would be disappointed in her, so afraid Fu Yunqing wouldn’t want to care for her anymore.

She couldn’t lose even the tiniest bit of Fu Yunqing’s love and attention.

            

She refused to be abandoned by Fu Yunqing.

“Give me one more chance, okay? I really know I was wrong…”

“Please don’t be like this, okay? I’m so scared…”

            

Her eyes had long been a blur of tears, welling up endlessly. Yu Yan had thought she wasn’t that fragile anymore—how was she still like years ago, like a little child, so easily reduced to tears?

With outsiders, she could be mature and composed, but facing Fu Yunqing, she was utterly helpless.

What should she do?

            

Yu Yan texted her on her phone, knocked on the door and spoke words of apology, but no matter what she did, Fu Yunqing paid no attention. From dusk until nine o’clock that evening, Yu Yan agonized—not knowing if Fu Yunqing had softened, not knowing what she was thinking, not knowing when she would come out, not knowing how to coax her back.

She returned to her room. It was empty—Fu Yunqing wasn’t there, and she didn’t want to stay. She went to the little den Fu Yunqing had set up for her, gathered the soft cushions, blanket, and throw pillow, and carried them back to that tightly shut door, making a bed on the floor there.

She lay on the cushion, hugging the pillow, curled up under the blanket. She opened her phone—the entire screen was filled with her apologetic messages, but Fu Yunqing remained unmoved. Aside from the period when she’d lost her memory and been misunderstood, this was the first time Yu Yan had been given such a cold shoulder by her.

            

How could she be like this?

All kinds of dark thoughts and anxious worries invaded her heart again. Yu Yan pouted and, through tear-blurred eyes, sent her a cat apology sticker. She waited a while and got nothing in return. Annoyed, she set the phone down and buried her face in the blanket, leaving only her eyes visible, watching the closed door.

If Fu Yunqing wouldn’t pay attention to her, she would wait right here, and the second she came out, she’d cling tightly to her leg and refuse to let go no matter what.

            

She kept staring at the closed door. Her tear-swollen eyes ached. Yu Yan opened her front camera and took a photo—so pitiful. Even she thought she looked pitiful. She sent the selfie to Fu Yunqing, quite deliberately making sure the background was visible so she could easily tell that she was sleeping on the floor in the hallway outside her door.

But Fu Yunqing’s heart seemed harder than iron. Yu Yan waited a long time and received nothing. She’d had classes all day, and now that the high tension had faded, physical exhaustion came crashing back. She closed her eyes and drifted off without realizing it.

She didn’t know how long she’d slept, but with her mind preoccupied, even deep sleep was broken by the slightest sound. She opened her eyes, groggily lifting her gaze, and saw Fu Yunqing standing behind the door, hand on the handle, eyes fixed on her.

            

Yu Yan instantly grew more alert. She propped herself up and stared at her blankly. She’d planned to immediately cling to her leg, but now didn’t know what to do. Her slightly swollen eyes reddened in an instant.

The two looked at each other, neither speaking. Yu Yan was afraid she would be ignored and Fu Yunqing would walk away. She clutched the blanket, her eyes full of anxiety.

Anyone who saw this would be moved—let alone Mommy.

            

Let alone a Mommy who had never once thought of giving up on her, who only wanted to give her—who had done wrong—some strict punishment.

She had originally only intended to come out and check, but seeing her like this, Fu Yunqing helplessly declared the punishment over in her heart.

She slowly crouched down and reached out her hand. Without needing words, Yu Yan knew what she meant. She pushed off the ground and scrambled toward her, throwing herself into her embrace, shrinking down and burying her face deep in the crook of her neck.

            

She was still nervous, her body trembling slightly. It wasn’t until Fu Yunqing raised a hand to stroke her back that she dared let more of her grievance spill out. Her eyes were wet as she pressed against the woman’s pale neck and said, “I missed you so much…”

“I was wrong. I was so scared.” Her fear was not fake—her voice was thick with tears, wet and sniffling. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore. Do you not want me anymore? I’m annoying, aren’t I? Difficult to manage and annoying. You must be so tired, so disappointed in me. I’m sorry…”

Fu Yunqing looked down at her. She was cruel enough not to answer whether she didn’t want her anymore, and asked softly:

            

“Will you do it again next time?”

Yu Yan said, still shaken, “No, I won’t. I really won’t.”

“Have you made up your mind to quit smoking?”

            

She said quietly but firmly, “I’ve made up my mind. I won’t lie to you. I won’t deceive you.”

Fu Yunqing knew her punishment had been remarkably effective. She sighed, patted her back, and completely softened. “Alright. It’s very late. Go back to the room and sleep.”

It was already one in the morning. Mindful that she’d sweated today and hadn’t showered yet, Yu Yan insisted on washing up before getting into bed. She held onto Fu Yunqing, careful and tentative, reluctant to fall asleep.

            

The shadow this incident cast over Yu Yan was larger than Fu Yunqing had imagined.

She couldn’t bear to fall asleep, but more than that, she couldn’t sleep from worry. She didn’t want to disturb her sleepy Mommy, so she kept curling up and shifting anxiously, wanting very much to ask her whether she had truly thought about not wanting her.

But she was actually afraid—afraid that Fu Yunqing, because she was so disappointed in her, really had entertained such a thought.

            

If she really had, Yu Yan would be heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken.

“Be good. Go to sleep.”

Fu Yunqing patted her and held her tight. Only then did Yu Yan settle down.

            

She hadn’t slept for long before getting up early the next morning. Fu Yunqing was still asleep. Hearing the movement, she opened her eyes and turned her head—there was Yu Yan, kneeling beside the bed with the collar in her mouth, chin resting on the edge of the bed, her bright eyes full of eager anticipation and nervousness, staring at her unblinkingly.

—the same collar from yesterday that she hadn’t caught, the one they’d tossed aside downstairs.

It was very important to the Puppy. The Puppy had carried it back in her mouth—how long had she been kneeling by the bed like this?

            

Fu Yunqing looked at her, a tender ache welling up inside. She belatedly realized she might have gone a little too far.

Seeing she was awake, Yu Yan reached for her hand and spat the collar onto her palm, her eyes pitiful and pleading.

“It’s all covered in drool.”

            

Fu Yunqing said this without the slightest distaste—teasing and indulgent. The drool on the collar had wet her hand, but she didn’t care if it wet the sheets either. She pulled two tissues, wiped her hand and the collar clean, then crooked her finger for Yu Yan to come closer, and gently fastened the collar around her neck.

Wearing the collar didn’t feel foreign to Yu Yan—it brought a sense of security, the tight restraint pressed flush against her skin.

The bell jingled crisply. She rejoiced at being loved.

            

“Come here. Hug.”

How strange—love makes you ever more fragile. Even though she’d already been forgiven, being held still made her want to cry.

On that warm morning, sunlight gathered on Mommy. Leaning against her was so warm, so comfortable. Her embrace was so soft yet so powerful.

            

She couldn’t leave her embrace. She’d never be able to, not in this lifetime.

“Were you disappointed in me? Is that true?”

“Was there even a moment when you truly thought about giving up on me?” It seemed a little overbearing—she was the one who had done wrong, yet she couldn’t tolerate even a moment of disappointment.

            

“Silly Child.” Fu Yunqing kissed her cheek, her fingertips tracing along her waist, guiding her to turn around.

The morning light was gentle. Beyond the window stretched a vast expanse of clear sky. Yu Yan knelt on the bed, facing the window. The leash attached to her collar was held taut by someone on the other end, forcing her to tilt her head high, her brow furrowed, her face flushed red.

She gripped the collar pressing against her neck. The tighter it pulled, the more she leaned back, and the more she leaned back, the more tightly she pressed into the woman’s embrace.

            

“Mommy… mm…”

She called out urgently. Fu Yunqing, unhurried, slipped her wet fingertips into Yu Yan’s mouth. Yu Yan took them in, sucking obediently, lost in swirling her tongue around them. Suddenly, Fu Yunqing pulled her hand out and covered her mouth. The sensation of suffocation made Yu Yan panic, “Mm—mm!”

Smack.

            

“…”

Yu Yan went limp all over, collapsing in her embrace. She gazed up at the sky, dazed, without a shred of strength left. She slowly slid down against her and was caught securely. She heard Fu Yunqing whisper softly in her ear:

“Silly Child.”

            

“Mommy was only scaring you a little, you know?”

“I won’t ever not want you. I won’t ever stop caring for you. No matter what you become, Mommy will always love you.”

“…”

            

Yu Yan felt so content.

The silent treatment was indeed effective, but the anxiety it brought the Puppy was far greater than she’d imagined. Fu Yunqing couldn’t bear it, nor did she want to see Yu Yan fear being abandoned by her again. Even though it made her very well-behaved and obedient, obedience shouldn’t be built on the fear of loss.

She treasured the love between them. They were family first, lovers first—and only then Puppy and Master. Love must not be questioned.

            

But Yu Yan would still make mistakes—today this mistake, tomorrow that one. Even if Yu Yan promised her ten thousand times, Fu Yunqing didn’t believe they could be completely eliminated. So how should she be punished?

Fu Yunqing bought a larger dog cage and placed it at home.

Its pure black lacquered finish was imposing. The dog cage was neither too big nor too small—it could fit two people lying flat, but wasn’t tall enough to stand. Anyone locked inside could only kneel or lie down.

            

When the Puppy made a mistake, one form of punishment was to go inside and reflect. No phone allowed, and Mommy wouldn’t pay attention to her either. For someone like Yu Yan who couldn’t bear loneliness, it was extremely effective—a powerful deterrent.

There was a difference between having deterrent power and making her live in fear.

Compared to being locked out by Mommy, being locked in the cage by Mommy made Yu Yan feel much more secure. The cage was merely Mommy’s cradle. Being locked inside was like being wrapped in Mommy’s embrace—what she felt was love tinged with anger, a possessiveness found nowhere else in the world.

            

It was torment, though. When being punished, she never knew when Mommy would pay attention to her again, never knew when she’d be let out. Most of the time, she could only stare at Mommy’s silhouette as she worked. Sometimes Fu Yunqing would glance at her and walk toward her—she’d think she was about to be forgiven—only for Fu Yunqing to walk past to the water dispenser and pour herself a glass.

At the same time, it was also happiness.

Yu Yan would never forget the time she fell asleep in the cage and groggily opened her eyes to find the cage door open, Mommy crouching before her, stroking the top of her head, feeding her water through a straw.

            

She had to drink enough water every day, and Mommy always remembered better than she did—even when locked up, it couldn’t be skipped.

She would never forget those lowered eyes, brimming with tender love, when Fu Yunqing fed her water.

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