On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 74
by Little PandaInterlocking Fingers
Beautifully Disheveled
“Yanyan…”
Yu Yan thought back to that night.
That night, in her half-waking state, she had been roused by just such a voice. Fu Yunqing’s burning, feverish body had pressed closely against her from behind, rubbing against her restlessly as broken whispers hovered in her ear.
Back then, Yu Yan had desperately wanted to turn around to look at her face, but she lacked the courage. So this was how vulnerable and dazed she looked.
Yu Yan suddenly realized what she was doing. This was no simple reward, nor was she claiming a mere prize. This was shameful, intimate, and right on the precipice of lovemaking.
Just like the previous night, when Fu Yunqing had kissed her there through her clothes, she had reacted strongly. Naturally, Fu Yunqing would have a reaction as well.
She too would be stirred to passion…
How could she…
How could she have indulged her all this time, treating such a sensual, intimate matter as a mere reward…
Yu Yan suddenly felt an unbearable heat rise within her, once again overwhelmed by it all. But Fu Yunqing cupped her face, pulling her up, and leaned down to kiss her.
“Ngh… Mm…”
She dominantly forced her lips and tongue into Yu Yan’s mouth, kissing her deeply for a moment. Then, parting from her lips, she tilted her head up and pressed Yu Yan’s head into the crook of her neck. Pressed against her skin, Yu Yan instinctively parted her lips to kiss her body.
Fu Yunqing’s hand slid downward, as if desperate to do something, but with a girl draping over her, she could not reach. All she could do was restlessly and repeatedly knead her waist, calling her pet name in rapid breaths: “Yanyan…”
With her face flushed and her heart pounding, Yu Yan released the skin she was suckling to draw a heavy breath.
She knew what she wanted…
And she herself wanted it so badly, anticipated it so much… Just by seeing Fu Yunqing’s expression moments ago, she had fallen deep into her own sensual fantasies, yearning to see more of her stirred to passion.
She wanted it so, so much…
She pushed herself up, her face flushed red from being buried. Gazing down at her with wet, shimmering eyes, she nervously clutched the blanket. “I don’t really know how. Teach me first…”
“D-Do I… do I need to wear finger cots?”
She asked so innocently yet so directly that Fu Yunqing was actually caught off guard. In a breathless whisper, she said, “No need. Go wash your hands…”
Yu Yan felt exceptionally glad she had trimmed her fingernails a couple of days ago; they were smooth and rounded now.
She got out of bed immediately and ran into the bathroom. Standing before the vanity, she bowed her head, rinsed her hands with water, and pumped some liquid soap. She used the seven-step handwashing method1 to clean every inch of her hands inside and out.
Her mind was in a daze, her actions diligent yet mechanical, urgent yet patient. By the time she snapped back to her senses, she had already rushed back to the bedside and was kneeling beside Fu Yunqing, holding up her clean, dry hands for her to see.
“Is this okay?”
She was like a little puppy eagerly showing off her clean paws, waiting for her master’s permission to get on the bed.
“Mm.” Fu Yunqing took her by the wrist and guided her downward, asking, “Do you still remember what I did to you last night?”
How could she possibly forget…
But she had spent the entire time resisting those unfamiliar sensations—wanting to cry, wanting her to stop while wanting her to keep going, trapped in a tailspin of losing control and being at her mercy. How could she have studied the methods her dominant partner used to claim her?
So she still needed Fu Yunqing to teach her.
Fu Yunqing was wearing a silk slip dress, its smooth fabric bunched entirely around her waist. Her slightly curved lower belly and dense dark curls lay fully exposed before her eyes. Yu Yan had never known a garment could be worn in such a way—disheveled yet enchanting.
She was led into a marshland, her heart trembling.
Because she knew this place was fragile, she was patient and tender. Yet because she had no idea what to do next, she still hesitated even as her fingertips grew wet and sticky. Ironically, this transformed into a different kind of teasing altogether.
Fu Yunqing’s breathing grew heavier. She clasped Yu Yan’s middle finger, using her index finger to press down on her fingernail.
Soft, damp, and slick.
The contracting grip was like Fu Yunqing’s parted lips and teeth. Yu Yan had never seen her wear such an alluring expression, unable to distinguish whether she was in pleasure or in pain.
She only knew that Fu Yunqing was still guiding her, over and over, pushing into the mire and drawing out the stream.
Yu Yan was completely swept away by her guidance, feeling as though she were drifting through an ethereal dream. Her gaze never wavered, witnessing the flushed, seductive charm in her eyes, seeing her drown in desire yet still find moments to look back at her with tender, loving concern—as if soothing her innocence and panic.
“Yanyan…”
“Ah…”
Her breathing grew more and more rapid. Finally, Yu Yan was overwhelmed by the stacking, surging tides, while Fu Yunqing hastily turned her face away, leaving only her flushed ears and sweat-slicked neck. She collapsed there in disarray, her chest rising and falling violently.
Her hand was still holding Yu Yan’s, her damp fingertips weakly sliding between her fingers, interlocking them.
…
The bathroom light was on. Yu Yan stood in front of the sink, washing her hands. Her head was bowed, her long hair messy, and the rims of her eyes were as red as if she had just wept. Her ears, too, were burning terribly.
Dispensing two pumps of soap into her palms, she rubbed them together and rinsed them off. She was not as patient as she had been the first time, giving them a quick rinse before rushing back.
The woman lay on her side in bed, her loose hair veiling her pale, bare arms. As Yu Yan approached slowly, she found that Fu Yunqing had not closed her eyes to sleep. She was looking down, idly playing with her own fingertips, her entire body radiating a lazy, languid aura.
The image of her body tensed and flushed was still seared into Yu Yan’s mind, creating an exceptionally sharp contrast with this scene.
Both earlier and now, she was beautiful—only earlier she had been beautifully disheveled, and now she was beautifully nonchalant. It made Yu Yan desperately want to kneel beside her and ask how she was feeling.
And Yu Yan did exactly that. She braced herself against the edge of the bed and crouched down, resting her chin on the mattress to look directly at Fu Yunqing at eye level. Fu Yunqing lifted her eyelashes, their eyes meeting.
Seeing her look so dazed and cautious, Fu Yunqing could not help but chuckle. “Come in and hold me,” she said softly.
Come in and hold me. Yu Yan found those words incredibly endearing. She loved this feeling, feeling that Fu Yunqing, too, could be fragile and need a hug.
Yu Yan pulled back the blanket and slipped inside. Her movements were incredibly swift out of shyness, but crawling under the covers felt like a small animal retreating to its burrow, and she grew bold once more. She stared into Fu Yunqing’s eyes with her own reddened gaze.
Neither of them spoke, gazing at each other in silence. There were no barriers or obstacles between them, as if they were the only two people left in the entire world.
The shade of her pupils, the texture of her skin, every single one of her eyelashes—Yu Yan took them all in with perfect clarity. Yet because it was so real, it felt almost surreal.
The woman before her was her lover, the person closest to her in the entire world… Just the thought of it made her heart tremble. She felt it had all been too brief, different from the deeply etched romances she had heard of. There was an air of illusion to it, like a dream she was having at twenty years old.
Her deep brown eyes were like a captivating, deep, mysterious planet hidden in some corner of the world, solitary and silent. Yu Yan had traversed vast crowds, walking for twenty years just to stand before her and behold her silhouette.
She could not help but want to explore the world inside her eyes, to know her feelings, to know what she was thinking.
Suddenly, she desperately wanted to know her better, to understand her more deeply.
Or rather, she began to long to understand their past together, to know who she herself had been when they were together in the past.
What was she like back then? What did she think about? What did she do, and what did she say to her? Just how much did she love her?
For the first time, Yu Yan wanted her memories to return so badly.
After a long while, Fu Yunqing spoke: “Hold me…”
Without a second thought, Yu Yan reached out and held her close. Her soft, bare body pressed against hers—chest to chest, cheek to cheek—warm and comforting.
Yu Yan wanted so badly to kiss her.
But they had already been kissing for a long time.
“Are you sleepy?” Fu Yunqing asked.
“Mnh-mnh…” Yu Yan shook her head.
How could she possibly be sleepy?
She was so keyed up that she felt she might lie awake all night; even now, her heartbeat had not returned to normal.
Fu Yunqing clearly knew the answer. Fondly rubbing her ear, she smiled and said, “I don’t want to sleep yet either.”
“I want to discuss something with you.”
“Discuss what?” Because of her gentle attitude, as always, Yu Yan could not bring herself to think of anything negative. Having long forgotten her troublesome worries, she was incredibly eager, wanting to cooperate with jiejie on everything.
“The matter we discussed earlier today,” Fu Yunqing said softly. “The question Xu Man asked about when we’re getting remarried.”
Yu Yan froze, clearly unprepared to answer this.
“Do you want to remarry me, Yanyan?” Fu Yunqing asked directly as she pressed close.
“I…” Yu Yan could hear Fu Yunqing’s desire to remarry, but it was far too sudden for her; she was completely unprepared. Should she lie to appease her and make her happy? Yet the thought of uttering those words made Yu Yan feel strangely uneasy.
She hesitated for a moment, then whispered, “I haven’t really thought about that yet.”
Fu Yunqing fell silent.
Yu Yan could not see her face and did not know how she felt. Fearing that she had hurt her or that she might think she was refusing to take responsibility, Yu Yan wanted to pull back to read her expression, but Fu Yunqing’s tightening embrace held her in place.
Fu Yunqing held her tightly, with far more force than before.
Yu Yan’s heart leaped into her throat. “I…”
The silence stretched on indefinitely, so long that Yu Yan could hardly bear it before Fu Yunqing spoke again. “Do you feel happy when you’re with me?”
“Of course I’m happy!” Yu Yan replied instantly, as if buzzing in for a quiz.
“Then right now… do you like me?” Fu Yunqing asked again.
Of course she liked her… She liked her so, so much. A kind of liking completely different from any other.
She loved hugging her, loved kissing her, and wanted to be with her forever. She liked her so much that the mere thought of Fu Yunqing growing tired of her one day because of her hot violence2 made her want to weep with sorrow.
Yu Yan felt she was utterly doomed.
She realized she had been completely and utterly enticed by her, with absolutely no way to escape.
Not knowing how to explain the complex emotions in her heart, she simply repeated “I like you so much” several times. Fu Yunqing gave a soft, murmuring hum and relaxed her grip slightly. “So you want to remarry me too, don’t you? You want to be with me forever, never to be parted again.”
Yu Yan felt a little guilty. She parted her lips, hesitating to speak, but Fu Yunqing added, “You’re just not ready yet, right?”
The words that had risen to Yu Yan’s lips were swallowed back down.
Fu Yunqing had supplied the answer for her.
After a moment’s thought, she nodded, going along with her words.
“It’s all right. Jiejie can wait for you. I’ll wait until you’ve thought it through, until you’re ready.” Fu Yunqing smiled, switching to a lighter topic. “It’s your twenty-fourth birthday in half a month. School will be on break by then. Do you have any plans for how you want to celebrate?”
Her birthday…
Life had been so chaotic lately, with so many baffling questions cluttering her mind that Yu Yan had not even had the headspace to remember her own birthday. Perhaps twenty-four simply felt too distant, leaving her with no sense of reality about its arrival. Even though it was just around the corner, she had been entirely oblivious.
If Fu Yunqing had not mentioned it, she would not have remembered at all.
“I… haven’t thought of how to celebrate it yet.”
“It’s fine. We still have time, so you can take your time to think.”
Fu Yunqing said, “I had Assistant Liang draft a travel itinerary, and all the places you wanted to visit are included. I’ll show it to you tomorrow after you wake up, and you can confirm the travel dates. We can see whether you want to spend your birthday at home or in Hokkaido. Or if you want to spend the summer in Southeast Asia, that works too—it’s not as cold over there, so you won’t have to worry about catching a cold.”
“It’s all right,” Fu Yunqing repeated. “You can tell me whenever you’ve made up your mind.”
“Mm,” Yu Yan murmured softly. “Okay.”
“Well then, shall we sleep?”
“Mm…”
“Goodnight.” Fu Yunqing kissed her cheek and tucked the blanket around her.
Her understanding nature allowed Yu Yan’s tense heart to settle once again. Feeling much lighter, she snuggled closer into her arms, reminding herself to think carefully tomorrow about how to spend her birthday. With a quiet mind, she closed her eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.
The night grew deep, and she slept soundly, shutting out the rest of the world from her dreams.
Suddenly, there was a faint rustling of the blanket. Fu Yunqing opened her eyes and gently let her go. Seeing that Yu Yan showed no signs of waking, she slowly propped herself up, turned, and picked up Yu Yan’s phone, which was charging on the nightstand.
Footnotes
- The standard professional hand hygiene technique taught in Chinese schools and medical institutions, ensuring all surfaces of the hands are thoroughly cleaned.
- Modern Chinese slang playing on the silent treatment, referring to smothering a partner with intense, aggressive affection until they grow weary of the relationship.
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