On the Wedding Night, I Transmigrated to After the Divorce – Chapter 56
by Little PandaJiejie Misses You
Goodnight, Baby
Because her skin was very fair, her blush was exceptionally obvious, turning red and hot as if she were having an allergic reaction. Yu Yan hastily swallowed the half of the strawberry in her mouth, held Fu Yunqing’s wrist to eat the other half—the one marked with her own bite marks—as well, and then silently continued playing with the cat.
She could feel Fu Yunqing’s gaze lingering on her. That calculating woman had undoubtedly noticed her crimson ears yet chose to say nothing. Yu Yan’s embarrassment only intensified. I might as well take the opportunity while she isn’t looking to run away with the kitten, she thought. But the cat was so heavy; she would probably be panting for breath before she even cleared the residential compound, only to be caught and hauled back.
Fu Yunqing asked her if she wanted any more strawberries, and she sullenly replied that she was done.
“Alright. Think about what you’d like for dinner.”
Fu Yunqing’s mood seemed much brighter than before. Yu Yan could hear the trace of amusement in her voice, which only made her face burn hotter.
After Yu Yan offhandedly named two dishes she wanted to eat, evening came, and their family cook, Auntie Zhang, returned carrying the groceries. Seeing Yu Yan playing with the cat in the living room, and when Yu Yan greeted her, Auntie Zhang held back her excitement, looking comforted and deeply moved. “Yanyan, you’re back!”
Knowing that Auntie Zhang had known her before, Yu Yan gave a sweet, “Mmh.”
“Tonight, Yunqing said she’s going to cook for you herself,” Auntie Zhang said warmly. “Tomorrow, or next time, if there’s anything else you want to eat, just send a WeChat message directly to Auntie. Auntie will cook it for you. You used to love Auntie’s cooking.”
Yu Yan was slightly dazed. “Oh, oh…”
Auntie Zhang seemed to dote on her very much. She hesitated in front of her for a moment, expressing that she wanted to see her wound. Yu Yan lifted her bangs for her to look. Auntie Zhang wanted to reach out and touch it but hesitated, perhaps feeling it was inappropriate to do so to her employer, or perhaps feeling her own hands were dirty. Yu Yan generously let her touch it. Seeing her face full of heartache, Yu Yan smiled and said she had just returned from a hospital checkup this morning and was already fine. Only then did Auntie Zhang feel at ease, withdrawing her hand. “As long as you’re fine. It’s good that you’re back.”
While Auntie Zhang went to the kitchen to prep the ingredients, Yu Yan leaned in and whispered to Fu Yunqing, “Auntie Zhang seems so shy.”
Fu Yunqing told her that Auntie Zhang was hired by Yu Yan herself.
“I hired her myself?” Yu Yan was very surprised.
“Yes,” Fu Yunqing said.
It had happened during Yu Yan’s senior year, during her final sketching trip to a small southern coastal town, which was also Huo Xixi’s hometown. Riding on the back of Huo Xixi’s little electric scooter, cruising along the coast, evening came, and Huo Xixi felt hungry, insisting that a certain restaurant’s food was delicious and wanting to take Yu Yan to try it. Yu Yan thought it would be some grand restaurant, but it turned out to be a local eatery in a small alley.
Simple and warm, honest and down-to-earth, with a kind face—that was Yu Yan’s first impression of the middle-aged woman who had rushed out from the kitchen in a hurry to take their order. Being called “little girl” repeatedly by her put Yu Yan at ease, making her less resistant to the small restaurant. Originally she was just tolerating it, but when the steaming-hot food was served and she took a bite, she was instantly dizzy with delight1.
It was seriously, incredibly delicious!
And everything was spotlessly clean.
Having nothing to do, Huo Xixi chatted with Auntie Zhang. Auntie Zhang mentioned that she wanted to go to Yuncheng to find her daughter. She was divorced and depended on her daughter; her parents had both passed away, and she had no relatives or friends, so she was very lonely here by herself.
Her daughter was studying at a prestigious university in Yuncheng, and though Auntie Zhang wanted to join her, she was intimidated. With virtually no formal education, limited life experience, and a lifetime spent in a small town, she was terrified of throwing herself into a cutthroat metropolis like Yuncheng. She feared she wouldn’t find work, and she feared even more that she would be a drag on her daughter.
She said her daughter worked very hard, taking on work-study programs to cover her own living expenses and tuition. Auntie Zhang worried that she would become a liability, so she wanted to save up a little more money first to act as a safety net for her daughter.
But there weren’t many people in the small town, and business was tough. Sometimes she wouldn’t make a single sale all day, and she had no idea when she would save enough. After hearing her story, Yu Yan decided on the spot to hire her.
Yu Yan sent Auntie Zhang to Yuncheng for domestic service training. She really cooked delicious food, was both smart and honest, learned things quickly, understood everything instantly, and was very industrious and hardworking. Every time Yu Yan visited her, she saw a spark of vibrant, hopeful energy in her eyes. She was still shy by nature, clumsily trying to express her gratitude and constantly worrying that she would never be able to repay Yu Yan, acting like an insecure child in her presence.
She quickly earned both her housekeeping and professional home chef certifications, expanding her culinary skills from simple regional dishes to cuisines from all across the country—and even Western cooking. She officially joined Yu Yan’s household as their family chef and housekeeper, remaining with them to this day.
That was why Auntie Zhang doted on Yu Yan so deeply. In her heart, there was both the profound gratitude one felt for a benefactor and the tender affection of a mother for her daughter. Though shy and a bit awkward, she always granted Yu Yan’s every request, doing her utmost to make everything perfect.
Back when they were going through their divorce, Auntie Zhang had secretly wiped away tears. She hadn’t known what had gone wrong between them and hadn’t dared to overstep, only cautiously trying to persuade them. But Yu Yan insisted on leaving. When even Fu Yunqing had no way to stop her, how could Auntie Zhang possibly make her stay?
At these memories, a shadow flickered across Fu Yunqing’s eyes. But in the next instant, the gloom was entirely swept away by Yu Yan’s sheer, bubbly excitement.
“Really? Was I really that amazing?” Yu Yan was thrilled after listening to her gentle account. She had never imagined she was capable of doing such a wonderful deed.
Seeing her so happy, Fu Yunqing’s eyes filled with pure indulgence. “Yes, really. You were amazing.”
“How much of a monthly salary does our family pay her?”
“Thirty thousand.”
“Oh!” This salary, even in Yuncheng, was considered upper-middle tier.
“She cooks very well and is very dedicated to her work; she is worth this price.”
Yu Yan took Fu Yunqing’s hand, pressing further. “What about her daughter? How is she doing now?”
“She graduated with a master’s degree in law from Fudan University.”
“That’s incredible! That’s so amazing!”
Fu Yunqing echoed gently, “Mmh, yes~”
Fu Yunqing went into the kitchen to prepare the meal, with Auntie Zhang assisting. Together, they made four dishes and a soup, every single one of them a favorite of Yu Yan’s. The spread looked as beautiful as it tasted, and Yu Yan supportively ate two large bowls of white rice and a bowl of soup. By the time they finished, night had already draped itself over the city.
Yu Yan was in an exceptionally good mood, thoroughly bathed in the warmth of knowing she had once done such a kind deed. She sat on the rug by the French windows, playing with the cat.
However, she had been playing with the cat all afternoon, and Honey had grown tired of her. The cat lost all interest in the teaser wand, turning around to leap onto a nearby cat tree. Yu Yan watched her scale the tiers, looking up as Honey gazed down from her high perch with a lazy, regal squint.
So majestic. A smile tugged at Yu Yan’s lips as she snapped several photos of her. When she first woke up with amnesia, she hadn’t known who the black cat in her WeChat profile picture belonged to—now she knew it was Honey. In that old photo, Honey had been a soft, cute kitten, but now she had grown so big.
After taking a few cool photos of the cat, Yu Yan cropped them to use as wallpaper. Having finished playing around with them, she looked out the window, and after a moment, the corners of her mouth slowly drooped.
The city lights were brilliant, glittering like a dream. Yuncheng was a dreamlike metropolis. Towering skyscrapers rose into the clouds, their multi-colored lights gleaming in the darkness, reflecting off one another. The sheer, boundless prosperity of it all was almost dizzying, sending a tremor through her chest.
Young Miss Yu had always loved these nights of luxury and indulgence, dreaming even in her sleep of returning to such a past. Yet now that she was back, looking down at the sweeping vista below, why did she inexplicably feel so lost?
Was this really her home? Had she really done all those things? Yu Yan didn’t feel any sense of reality at all.
She was fed and watered, and the sky had already turned completely dark. It was time for her to plan her getaway.
While Fu Yunqing wasn’t in the living room and the cat was sleeping, she should just scoop Honey up and slip away! If she stayed any longer, what if she really couldn’t leave?
With a deep furrow in her brow, Yu Yan was seriously calculating the feasibility of cat-napping when, suddenly—
“What’s wrong?”
Fu Yunqing’s voice drifted from behind her. Yu Yan startled, turning around instinctively, but she was too late to hide the guilt in her eyes.
“What are you thinking about?” Fu Yunqing was incredibly observant. Ever since they left the hospital, she had sensed that something was off with Yu Yan, but she hadn’t said anything.
The topic was too sensitive. Anxious and fearful of losing her, she hadn’t dared to bring it up, hoping this anomaly would dissipate as soon as possible or that Yanyan would open up to her.
Deep down, she was constantly uneasy.
As she sat on the rug, Fu Yunqing squatted down in front of her until they were nearly at eye level. “Can you tell me? What are you thinking? I don’t want to guess, Yanyan. We need to talk.”
“I…”
Faced with Fu Yunqing’s almost pleading gaze, Yu Yan crumbled. Giving in to her true thoughts, she murmured softly, “I… I want to go back.”
Fu Yunqing’s heart sank.
Go back? Back where? Had she taken some other place as her home?
“This is your home,” she told her firmly.
“But we’re divorced…” Yu Yan felt the air grow rigid and the atmosphere turn heavy.
She was very nervous.
She saw the woman in front of her knit her brows. Her lips parted, then closed, before she managed to ask with great difficulty, “Are you going back on your word again? Do you not want Honey anymore either?”
Yu Yan was taken aback and hastily denied it, “Of course not! I just…”
“Just what?”
“I just… it doesn’t feel real. It’s all so sudden, and I haven’t had time to prepare.” Fu Yunqing’s love was too palpable, too profound, and Yu Yan felt she couldn’t carry the weight of it.
“You feel like you have no sense of belonging, is that it?”
In that instant, Fu Yunqing felt pained yet powerless. She didn’t want Yanyan to hesitate and doubt whether this was her home, hesitating as if she might leave at any moment. Yet even though she was so meticulously attentive, Yanyan still thought this way, still doubted, and still wanted to leave.
“…I don’t know,” Yu Yan murmured, looking at her cautiously. “There are so many things I don’t understand, so many things I haven’t figured out. Like, why we got divorced, or—”
“It was my fault,” Fu Yunqing interrupted.
“What…?” Yu Yan didn’t react in time.
“The divorce was my fault, Yanyan. I’m sorry.”
“…Your fault?” Yu Yan was stunned. Ever since she woke up, every piece of information she had gathered about the divorce pointed to the fact that she was the one who had wronged Fu Yunqing. How could it be Fu Yunqing’s fault?
Yu Yan looked at her in surprise. Fu Yunqing said, “It was my fault. I made you feel I wasn’t good, and made you unhappy being with me. It was because I didn’t take good care of you, and didn’t consider your feelings in many things.”
“That’s why a rift grew between us, and that’s why you wanted to leave. It was all my fault.”
Yu Yan widened her eyes, not knowing what to say for a moment.
“This has always been your home. Your name is still on the property deed. Honey will always be your kitten. Our connection isn’t something that can be severed by a divorce, do you understand? We are family. Yanyan, we are family. You can always rely on me. I’ve been waiting for you to come home.”
Fu Yunqing looked at her with a trace of pleading, as if wanting to hold onto her. “I really miss you. Give me a chance, give us a chance, okay?”
It was not a business marriage, nor was it a relationship that could be severed by divorce. They were family, and she had been waiting for her to return…
Yu Yan’s breathing grew heavier. Just like when she had first discovered that Weibo account and first seen their past, a massive heap of emotions that she didn’t know how to resolve was wreaking havoc in her heart.
Was it really Fu Yunqing who had wronged her? But Fu Yunqing was so good, so good that she had no flaws at all. How could it be…
Yu Yan looked at her hesitantly, her lips pressed tight. Dropping her head, she remained silent. She was deeply conflicted and could not give a promise.
Fu Yunqing leaned in, cupping the back of her head to draw her into her embrace. She lowered her head, gently nuzzling against Yu Yan’s temple. “Jiejie understands your feelings, and Jiejie knows you are very lost right now. Jiejie’s greatest wish is simply for you to be happy. Jiejie won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do, nor will Jiejie restrict your freedom. Can you try to slowly adapt? Yanyan, this is your home. Jiejie really misses you so much…”
“Jiejie can’t bear for you to leave again.”
“…”
It was over. The moment Fu Yunqing called herself “jiejie,” Yu Yan had absolutely no resistance against her.
Later, Fu Yunqing took her up to the second floor, saying she would take her back to her room. The two of them took the elevator together, and Yu Yan was still a little uneasy. She didn’t know what she was about to face—was she facing the impending intimate solitude of just the two of them? Were they going to sleep together like last night?
Sleeping with jiejie was indeed very comfortable, and she indeed enjoyed it when jiejie held her, but…
But mostly she felt awkward. Yesterday had been a special circumstance; jiejie had been too fragile and couldn’t do without her, but today was different.
The master bedroom was spacious but not empty, filled with the traces of daily life.
A cat tree, scratching board, cat castle, and several cat-themed throw pillows on the bed—none of it matched Fu Yunqing’s image at all.
Fu Yunqing said those were all Yu Yan’s pillows. But when Yanyan bought these things and brought them home, she never slept holding them; she always just snuggled close to jiejie to sleep, piling them all on the sofa or elsewhere.
So why were they back on the bed now? Because after Yu Yan left, Fu Yunqing missed her too much and was too lonely.
Several oil paintings hung on the wall, none of which looked particularly expensive. Yu Yan recognized two of them as her own work. Fu Yunqing told her that the other two were hers as well—one was her competition entry, and the other was her graduation piece.
Aside from those, Fu Yunqing also introduced the various strange little trinkets she had collected and her various small items. The walk-in closet still held her clothes and dresses that Fu Yunqing had been reluctant to touch; the terrace had the flowers and green plants they had grown; the bookshelf held the books she had bought intending to read but had never once opened; there were the rugs and clocks she had designed herself, and the jigsaw puzzles they had completed together…
All kinds of their things filled this room.
Here, Yu Yan found many belongings she had owned since before she was twenty, things that still lingered in her memories. They gave her a solid, undeniable proof that she had truly existed and lived here.
They had already been divorced for a year, yet Fu Yunqing hadn’t cleared out any of these things of hers, not even those few bed-hogging dolls?
She didn’t clear anything out because she missed her too much, and because she was always waiting for her to return…
A complex and strange feeling surged in her heart, making her chest feel sour and tight. Yu Yan turned around and found Fu Yunqing right behind her, watching her with a gentle gaze.
Yu Yan looked at her blankly. Fu Yunqing, as if seeing through her, raised a hand to stroke her head. Yu Yan hugged her, burrowing herself into her arms. Fu Yunqing held her close, lowering her head to let out a sigh, and said:
“I initially thought that we didn’t need to rush back to our former intimacy. I didn’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable. I planned to sleep in another room tonight to give you some space to think and adapt slowly.”
“But… you act as if you need me very much.”
Yanyan really was the Yanyan of three years ago, just like when they had first met three years back. She was always like this, suddenly hugging her and teasing her. Whether in the past or the present, her embraces were always caught steadily by Fu Yunqing. Combing her warm fingertips slowly through Yu Yan’s lazy hair, Fu Yunqing asked in a low voice, “Do you want me to stay with you?”
Yu Yan just buried herself in her embrace, saying nothing and giving no clear answer.
Fu Yunqing let out a helpless laugh. “Alright. Honey can keep you company then.” The black kitten was standing at their feet, looking up fixedly at the scene of them hugging.
Fu Yunqing lowered her head a fraction more, her chin rubbing against her temples, her lips nearly pressed against her ear. “But if there’s anything, you can call me, send me a WeChat, or directly come find me. I’m right next door.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
“…”
Fu Yunqing left, right after she said those words.
Standing where she was, Yu Yan stared at the tightly closed door. Her feather-fan-like eyelashes trembled, and she touched her somewhat hot ear with her hand.
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