Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 152
by Little PandaExtra 1
His Majesty × Dali
In past years, no matter how busy Emperor Ming Cheng was, he would always visit Ning’an Palace to spend some time with Wan Bi during Mid-Autumn.
It wasn’t that the palace lacked a Mid-Autumn family banquet, but Wan Bi never attended. For someone with no parents, no children, and no family, Mid-Autumn was hardly a festive occasion. In years past, he had kept her company out of sympathy and pity.
This year was different. He hadn’t attended the palace’s Mid-Autumn family banquet either. The fake eunuch incident had passed some time ago, but the thorn it had planted in his heart would never disappear.
He went to the newly completed Ning’an Palace, wanting to talk with Wan Bi, only to be told by the people there that the Empress Dowager wasn’t in. After repeated pressing, he finally learned that the Empress Dowager had slipped off to the Yao Residence to find Yao Xi.
Emperor Ming Cheng felt a pang of loss. He had nearly forgotten that Wan Bi was no longer alone. He stood at the gate of Ning’an Palace for a long time, gazing at the silent, empty palace road, listening to the distant revelry of the family banquet. With a sigh, he said to Tang Huaili beside him, “Tonight is the night of reunion. Go keep Gugu1 Yuanqian company.”
“What about Your Majesty?” Tang Huaili naturally wanted to go find Yuanqian, but he couldn’t stop worrying about the Emperor.
“We’ll go sit at Longyi’s place for a while.” Emperor Ming Cheng lowered his voice. He had heard that Longyi would be leaving the palace in a few days. She had been back in the palace for quite some time now, and the two of them hadn’t had a proper meal together alone.
Longyi hadn’t gone to the family banquet, but she wasn’t alone either. Her younger female cousin Sun Yan had come into the palace to reunite with her. The two sisters sat in the courtyard, admiring the moon and chatting.
“The house is already bought, right across from your Yao-jiejie’s home. We’ll move in a few days after I leave the palace,” Longyi said with some guilt. Sun Yan had been her constant companion, the two of them depending on each other for survival, yet she had made the decision about the move without even consulting Sun Yan. “So, would you like to stay in the capital and live with your jiejie, or…?” Longyi’s voice gradually trailed off.
Sun Yan smiled and said, “Of course I’ll live with you. As long as you two don’t find me a nuisance.”
“Is there really no one you fancy?” Longyi’s heart ached that her cousin was still alone.
Sun Yan smiled cheerfully, then lowered her head with a hint of helplessness. “There was that one, but I was rejected, wasn’t I?” She had once said in front of the Emperor that a woman like her—with good family background, good looks, and youth—could find any young gentleman she wanted outside the palace.
She had lied. The boys she grew up with were all afraid of her. Every time they got into mischief and she gave them a beating, they would say that a girl with her monstrous strength would never find a husband. They were right. Men all preferred gentle, delicate women.
She had once had someone she cared for, too. Their families were old friends, and she and that boy had been childhood sweethearts. When they were little, he had even taken her hand and solemnly declared that he would marry her when they grew up. But after she accidentally injured him a few times over the years they spent growing up together, he gradually stopped mentioning marriage.
“You’re still thinking about him? He must have three kids by now, hasn’t he?” Longyi was somewhat surprised.
“I’m not pining for him.” Sun Yan said wistfully, “It’s just that he was the only one who ever said he’d marry me.”
Longyi teased, “That’s not true. Didn’t Imperial Brother also say he’d marry you?”
Sun Yan’s expression stiffened for a moment, then she shot Longyi a sidelong glance with a smile. “Elder female cousin, you really do find me a nuisance after all, don’t you? You just want to send me packing so I won’t get in the way of you and Yao-jiejie living your little life together.”
“Nonsense. If you actually married someone, I’d be the one who couldn’t bear it.” Longyi smoothed Sun Yan’s loose strands of hair, her heart aching. “No one is worthy of my Dali.” Dali’s marriage prospects were difficult because those who knew the truth didn’t dare marry her, and Dali didn’t dare marry those who didn’t know the truth. Often, heaven’s gift of extraordinary ability wasn’t necessarily a blessing. For instance, she had a cousin whose nose was naturally sensitive—he could smell things ordinary people couldn’t. But the fragrances he smelled were richer than what others perceived, and the stench was also more pungent.
Dali was the same. Born with divine strength. She had accidentally injured quite a few people with that power, but she had also saved quite a few.
“Then I’ll go home tomorrow morning to pack my things and sort out the household matters,” Sun Yan said with a smile. Suddenly, her smile froze on her face as she stared blankly past Longyi.
Emperor Ming Cheng had also stopped in his tracks. He hadn’t expected Sun Yan to be there. He had assumed she would avoid him like the plague and never set foot in the palace again. After she left, he had secretly gone to Longyi’s fief and caught a glimpse of Sun Yan from afar twice. He hadn’t dared get too close, afraid that if she discovered him, she wouldn’t even feel safe staying at the fief anymore.
Today was the same. Emperor Ming Cheng didn’t dare step any closer. He would rather spend the rest of his life watching Sun Yan from this distance—neither too close nor too far—than risk another rash move and scare her away.
“Imperial Brother, what brings you here?” Longyi rose to greet him, and Sun Yan, looking uneasy, also stood and bowed.
“We thought that since you’re rarely in the palace for Mid-Autumn, We’d come and have a chat with you.” Emperor Ming Cheng finished, then glanced at Sun Yan. “Yan’er is here too.” He looked calm on the surface, but his heart was already a roaring tempest. Sun Yan’s parting words when she left the palace echoed in his ears again: she would never be with him, not even if she died. He slowly walked to the table and sat down, right next to Longyi and as far from Sun Yan as possible.
Longyi poured Emperor Ming Cheng a cup of tea. He didn’t touch it, pouring himself a cup of wine instead and downing it.
He was utterly miserable tonight. On the night of Mid-Autumn reunion, Wan Bi had Yao Xi, Tang Huaili had Yuanqian, and he had no one. The person he yearned for was right before his eyes, yet she wouldn’t even look at him. His parents had long passed, his wives and concubines each harbored their own schemes, and his children were not his biological own. Who was he supposed to reunite with?
After a few cups of wine, Emperor Ming Cheng was already drunk. He gazed at Sun Yan with bleary eyes and said, “What if I stopped being emperor? Give me one more chance, would you? This time I definitely won’t rush things, won’t pressure you, won’t…” As he spoke, Emperor Ming Cheng suddenly gripped the stone table and began to retch miserably, weeping as he gagged.
Sun Yan’s heart tightened slightly. She had to admit that in all her years, no one had ever loved her like this—a man who loved her enough to give up an empire. Even if it was drunken talk, it was hard not to be moved.
“Imperial Brother is drunk.” Longyi gently patted Emperor Ming Cheng’s back. She had seen how Imperial Brother looked when he loved Shuanglan, and she had seen how he looked when he loved Dali. In his eyes, both were the little girl he had chanced upon in his youth. But the way he treated the two of them was truly different. After meeting Dali, Imperial Brother had never summoned a single consort again, and now he could even speak of giving up the throne. Perhaps he had truly fallen in love with Dali herself.
After retching for a while, Emperor Ming Cheng braced his hands against the stone table and stood up. “We’re not drunk.” With that, he swayed unsteadily toward the exit, stumbled a few steps, caught his foot on a crack between the stone slabs in the courtyard, and fell to the ground, unable to get up.
Longyi hurried forward to help Imperial Brother up, but her strength was too meager—she couldn’t lift him at all. “Dali, come give me a hand!” Imperial Brother was dead drunk and spouting nonsense, not to mention crying badly. Longyi didn’t want to call the palace maids and eunuchs, afraid of damaging Imperial Brother’s dignity.
Sun Yan walked over, bent down, and effortlessly scooped Emperor Ming Cheng up in her arms. She said to her elder female cousin Longyi, “Have someone prepare a palanquin.” She looked down at the man in her arms and suddenly felt a pang in her heart.
Emperor Ming Cheng hadn’t brought Tang Huaili to Qianqing Palace; only a few little eunuchs had followed him. Longyi led Sun Yan in delivering the unconscious Imperial Brother back to the Qianqing Palace bedchamber and settling him in before she was completely at ease.
On the way back, Longyi sat in the palanquin and said uneasily to Sun Yan, “Dali, I’m worried that Imperial Brother’s words just now weren’t drunken rambling. His ascension to the throne wasn’t his own wish—it was entirely the Dowager Consort’s scheme. He has a weak nature and is extremely filial; he never once went against the Dowager Consort. To be honest, after becoming Emperor, he has lived far worse than his brothers who became idle princes. Not to mention wearing himself ragged day and night for Daxing’s sake, he’s also been plotted against at every turn. The fake eunuch incident dealt him a heavy blow, and then there was you—”
“Rest easy, elder female cousin. I know that Daxing’s peace and stability depend on His Majesty.” Sun Yan tilted her head and rested it on Longyi’s shoulder, lost in thought.
“Silly girl, I’m not asking you to sacrifice yourself for the nation and marry Imperial Brother. Just help talk some sense into him—he listens to you.” Longyi explained.
Sun Yan linked arms with Longyi and smiled. “I know!” She could perhaps fall in love with anyone, but she could never fall in love with the Son of Heaven. Yet that weak, helpless little prince had already become the Son of Heaven, and had picked up all sorts of nasty habits that came with the title. What a pity.
When Emperor Ming Cheng woke, his head throbbed terribly, but he was long accustomed to the feeling. Getting dead drunk at Ning’an Palace and waking up in Qianqing Palace—he had been through this before.
Wait! He had gotten drunk at Longyi Palace last night, and Sun Yan had been there!
Emperor Ming Cheng stared at the broad daylight outside and hung his head with a bitter smile. Sun Yan must have already left by now.
“Your Majesty is awake.” Tang Huaili came in with water, wrung out a silk handkerchief, and handed it to Emperor Ming Cheng. “The Cousin from the Eldest Princess’s household requests an audience. Would you like to—”
“Help Us dress, quickly.” Emperor Ming Cheng leapt out of bed, took the handkerchief, and wiped his face as he spoke.
Emperor Ming Cheng hurried to the hall and saw Sun Yan actually sitting there, sipping tea leisurely. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was still dreaming.
“This commoner girl greets Your Majesty.” Sun Yan set down her teacup and rose to bow.
“Between you and me, there’s no need for formalities.” Emperor Ming Cheng stood frozen in the doorway, not daring to enter.
Sun Yan looked at Emperor Ming Cheng, so timid and hesitant in her presence, and felt a pang of discomfort. She had cared for someone before too, and she understood that the more you cared about a person, the more careful and cautious you became in front of them. “Please come in and talk, Your Majesty.”
Emperor Ming Cheng sat down stiffly on the chair nearest the door, as though in this Qianqing Palace, Sun Yan was the host and he the guest.
Sun Yan walked over and closed the door. “Does Your Majesty remember what he said after drinking last night?”
He remembered, of course. Those words hadn’t been drunken talk—he had truly meant them. “We remember.”
“Whether or not you remain Emperor is your affair, but please don’t say it’s for my sake.” Sun Yan said, “Have you considered what would happen to the realm if you abdicated and a child emperor took the throne amid instability? A man who ignores the common people for his own selfish desires is not someone I want.”
“We will handle the abdication properly.” Emperor Ming Cheng said, almost pleading, “I don’t want anything but you.” He had never known that loving someone could be this painful. He had never known that once he gave his heart to a certain person, he could never let go.
“Only me? Then you’d better stay firmly on that throne.” Sun Yan sat down beside Emperor Ming Cheng and looked at him. “Otherwise, if I’m wronged, who’ll stand up for me? It’s not because of your status as the Son of Heaven that I rejected you. The truth is, you still don’t understand. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said something like giving up the throne in exchange for a chance. Love isn’t a transaction. It’s not ‘if you love me, I must love you back.’ It’s not ‘if you’ve sacrificed this and that for our relationship, I’m bound to be grateful.'”
Emperor Ming Cheng sat like a child being scolded, head bowed in silence.
Sun Yan looked at Emperor Ming Cheng and suddenly felt a pang of tenderness. The Emperor was the only person who, after she beat him up, still insisted on marrying her. He was also the only one who, after seeing her smash something to pieces, immediately asked if her hand hurt. She knew in her heart that the Emperor truly loved her. But how long would that love last? She didn’t know. When Xian Diye married her eldest aunt, he had loved her too, but the moment he met Empress Dowager Wan, he turned his back without a second thought.
Perhaps they should start as confidantes first. As for the rest, she would let nature take its course. After all, aside from the Emperor, no one else in the world would dare marry her anyway.
“Your Majesty.” Sun Yan called gently.
“Hm?” Emperor Ming Cheng raised his head.
“The day Lord Cao came to Qianqing Palace to report, I didn’t have time to return the jade ruyi2 to you. I don’t have it with me now, either.” Sun Yan said.
“Keep it. Why return it?” Emperor Ming Cheng gave a bitter smile. Was Sun Yan unwilling to keep even his things by her side?
Sun Yan gritted her teeth, exasperated by his failure to live up to his potential3, and said, “I was planning to return it to you the next time I visited the palace. But since Your Majesty is so generous, pretend I never said anything.”
The next time she visited the palace? Emperor Ming Cheng had an epiphany. He covered his face with his hands and wept. Sun Yan was still willing to see him? That was enough. After so many blows in succession, he didn’t dare hope for more. Just being able to see Sun Yan again was enough.
“…” Sun Yan shot Emperor Ming Cheng an exasperated glare. That such a fragile man could sit securely on the throne of the Son of Heaven was nothing short of a miracle! “Stop crying. If you keep crying, I might just use my hands, you know?” Sun Yan threatened in frustration.
Emperor Ming Cheng raised his tear-streaked face and said, “Hit me all you want. Just go easy on me.”
Footnotes
- 'Gugu' is a respectful title used in the imperial palace for a senior palace maid who has served for many years.
- A 'ruyi' is a traditional Chinese ceremonial scepter, often crafted from jade, symbolizing power, authority, and good fortune.
- Chinese idiom literally meaning 'hating that iron won't become steel' — expressing frustration at someone's failure to meet expectations or improve themselves.
0 Comments