Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 82
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager Refuses
Now Wan Bi had lost her appetite entirely.
Over the past two days, when she had held Yao Xi in her arms and fondled her at will, she had treated her as a woman. Now that Yao Xi had reverted to being a eunuch, an indescribable discomfort settled in her heart. Clearly the person was the same, and her feelings for Yao Xi were only growing deeper. But when it came to physical intimacy, the sensations ‘Miss Yao’ and ‘Eunuch Yao’ gave her were entirely different.
She yearned for Miss Yao, but was repelled by Eunuch Yao.
Either Imperial Physician Fu was too old and had misread the pulse, or the people Yuanqian sent had investigated incorrectly.
“Didn’t you say that many records were destroyed when the Imperial Household Department caught fire? Did they find Yao Xi’s?” Wan Bi asked, setting down her chopsticks.
Yuanqian shook her head. “No, it’s not that. Last night, this slave-girl went to Qianqing Palace to chat with Old Tang, and accidentally overheard Noble Lady Lan talking. Noble Lady Lan said Yao Xi is her younger brother, Yao Xian…”
Yao Shuanglan had sought out Tang Huaili last night to continue the conversation they had left unfinished during the day. Eunuch Tang had only gotten halfway through discussing the Yao family’s case when he was interrupted by the Emperor’s sudden return to the palace. That night, the Emperor had gone to the Late Emperor’s eternal flame in a gloomy mood, forbidding anyone from following him. Only then did she have the chance to visit the side courtyard where Eunuch Tang rested while on duty at Qianqing Palace to exchange a few words.
Without Eunuch Tang’s orders, no other palace maids or eunuchs dared enter that courtyard. What Yao Shuanglan didn’t expect was that ever since Her Majesty the Empress Dowager discovered her affair with Tang Huaili, Gugu Yuanqian no longer hid like she used to. She had gone directly to Tang Huaili’s courtyard, wanting to give him a surprise. While she and Eunuch Tang were talking in the courtyard, Gugu Yuanqian was right inside the room.
When Yuanqian heard voices in the courtyard, she knew Tang Huaili had returned; no one else dared casually enter his courtyard. Snickering to herself, she hid behind the door, planning to startle him the moment he stepped inside. Instead, she heard a woman’s voice. Yuanqian assumed that because they hadn’t seen each other in so long, Tang Huaili had hooked up with some little palace maid behind her back right here in Qianqing Palace.
Jealous, she used the cover of night to press against the back of the window and eavesdrop. As it turned out, Tang Huaili wasn’t fooling around; the person talking to him was Noble Lady Lan. The two discussed the Yao family’s past case for a long time. Yuanqian already knew that Tang Huaili had been investigating Lord Yao’s case all along. What she hadn’t expected was for Noble Lady Lan to suddenly tell Tang Huaili that Yao Xi was actually her younger brother, Yao Xian…
As Yuanqian spoke, she hesitated slightly. After all, this matter implicated both Noble Lady Lan and Tang Huaili.
But Yao Xi was the male favorite who accompanied the Empress Dowager to sleep every night. She dared not hide this from Her Majesty, and she also believed that with the ten years of master-servant affection between her and Her Majesty, pleading for leniency for Tang Huaili wouldn’t be a problem. As for Noble Lady Lan, she was Yao Xi’s older sister; with Yao Xi pleading for her in front of Her Majesty, nothing serious would happen to her either.
In truth, Yao Xi fleeing punishment and entering the palace could be treated as a major crime or a minor offense, entirely depending on Her Majesty’s wishes. If Her Majesty wanted to protect Yao Xi, she definitely could. As for what the laws dictated or what the ministers said, Her Majesty had never cared.
Her only concern was whether Her Majesty would punish Yao Xi for deceiving her. Anything else was negotiable, but Her Majesty absolutely despised being lied to.
“Old Tang?” It took Wan Bi a moment to realize Yuanqian meant Tang Huaili. “You two are certainly deeply in love. Since you couldn’t see each other at Ning’an Palace, you actually sought him out at Qianqing Palace.” But she didn’t have the energy to tease Yuanqian right now; the matter regarding Yao Xi was still a muddled mess!
Wan Bi couldn’t sit still any longer. She stood up and told Yuanqian, “Wait here. This bereaved one will be right back!”
The most pressing priority was to see whether Yao Xi was a girl or a boy. Once she figured that out, everything else would be easy to handle. If Yao Xi was a eunuch, it didn’t matter. If she was Yao Hezheng’s son and the younger brother of that highly annoying Yao Shuanglan, it didn’t matter either. But it would be best of all if she was a girl.
Upon entering the bedchamber, Yao Xi was still dead to the world. Wan Bi didn’t want to pull down Yao Xi’s trousers. Regardless of whether Yao Xi was a eunuch or a girl, her nether regions were currently in too gruesome a state to look at. Though she couldn’t look down there, she could certainly look up top. Even if Yao Xi suddenly woke up, she wasn’t afraid. This was her male favorite, after all—was there a rule against looking at a chest?
Hoping in her heart that Yao Xi was a girl, she reached out and slowly pulled back the quilt. Yao Xi was sleeping slightly on her side, her chest visibly bulging, though it was unclear if it was just the folds of her clothes or the very things Wan Bi was hoping for. Swallowing hard, she untied the ribbons of Yao Xi’s upper lapel and slowly parted her inner garment…
Into her line of sight came two blindingly white mounds of flesh pressed together, topped with little pink buds.
Wan Bi instantly let out a sigh of relief. She had gotten the result she hoped for. Immersed in her joy, she couldn’t resist reaching out with her index finger, playfully flicking one of the little buds with her fingertip. Miraculously, the little bud stiffened.
Haha, this is truly amusing.
Smiling, Wan Bi closed Yao Xi’s inner garment and upper lapel. Just as she was tying the ribbons, Yao Xi suddenly opened her eyes. As their eyes met, a trace of panic flashed through Wan Bi’s gaze, and the hand tying the ribbons froze in shock.
“Your Majesty!” Yao Xi glanced at the Empress Dowager’s hand, which was gripping the ribbons of her lapel, and said in horror, “What are you doing?” She knew Her Majesty liked doing strange things while she slept, but she hadn’t expected Her Majesty to be so perverted as to undress her for fun. Thank goodness she had woken up in time, otherwise her unbound chest would have been exposed to Her Majesty.
Anxious, Yao Xi snatched the ribbons away and hurriedly tied them. Then she sat up, clutching her clothes tightly as she stared at the Empress Dowager with her guard raised.
“What is this bereaved one doing… didn’t you just see it all?” The panic in Wan Bi’s eyes vanished. With a wicked smile, she leaned in and kissed Yao Xi on the lips, her hand gently resting on Yao Xi’s waist. Her hand badly wanted to travel upwards and grasp the two mounds she had just seen. But not now. Yao Xi’s body hadn’t recovered yet, and there were still many things she hadn’t fully investigated.
Afraid that a passionate kiss would stir up Yao Xi’s internal heat and harm her recovering body, Wan Bi reluctantly let her go and said, “Sleep a little longer!”
How could Yao Xi possibly sleep? She struggled to get up, wanting to return to the duty room and bind her chest. “This slave should head back.”
“Head back where?” Wan Bi pressed Yao Xi back onto the bed. “Lie down and be good. Imperial Physician Fu will be entering the palace to check your pulse shortly.” Had she just discovered that Yao Xi was a real eunuch, she probably would have had to change imperial physicians.
When Wan Bi left the bedchamber, her heart held not only the joy of confirming Yao Xi was a girl, but also deep confusion. Surely Yao Shuanglan wouldn’t fail to recognize her own younger brother? Or could it be that the Yao family had been raising their daughter as a son all along?
It wasn’t entirely impossible. Perhaps Yao Hezheng only had two girls. Since the elder one had been brought into the palace by the Emperor early on, he had raised the younger one as a son. After all, women couldn’t take the imperial examinations. But the Yao family was a scholarly household; their daughter shouldn’t be as uncultured as Yao Xi, right?
Could it be that Yao Xi had been playing dumb with her this whole time? Was she actually a prodigy overflowing with erudition? A faint chill ran through Wan Bi’s heart. No, she would have to test the wench’s depth later. Otherwise, showing off her calligraphy and the like—wouldn’t that be like a novice showing off before a master1? Just thinking about it was mortifying!
Wan Bi had no solid leads on the matter. In truth, it would be an easy thing to just grab Yao Xi and force the answers out of her, but she couldn’t bear to do it. What if, apart from being female, Yao Xi had some unspeakable secret, like truly being Yao Hezheng’s daughter? If forced, it wasn’t impossible that the wench might bite her own tongue to commit suicide in order to protect her family.
Yao Xi was quite similar to her in one respect: they were both a bit crazy. It was just that Wan Bi’s crazy was wild arrogance. Yao Xi’s crazy was a gloomy despondency2.
She preferred treating the matter of Yao Xi like an amusing game. Gathering clues slowly, peeling back the silk to reveal the cocoon3, and uncovering Yao Xi’s secrets layer by layer—just thinking about it was something to look forward to. Anyway, no matter who Yao Xi was, she was certain that Yao Xi loved her and would not harm her. That was enough.
Even if there were still people out there like that eunuch named Liufu plotting to harm Yao Xi, she was confident she could protect her well.
Returning to the dining hall, Wan Bi sat down and said to Yuanqian, “Didn’t this bereaved one order people to start investigating from that eunuch named Liufu at the Directorate of Palace Servants? Did they find anything?”
“That Liufu was originally a little eunuch in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens. The autumn before last, he was suddenly promoted to Supervisor of the Directorate of Palace Servants. We asked around the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, and Yao Xi happened to enter the palace right around that time.” Yuanqian really had a lot on her plate. Mostly because the palace maids and eunuchs around Her Majesty still had the habit of reporting any news to her first, leaving it up to her to relay it to Her Majesty.
However, Yuanqian was happy to be tired out. This proved that the person Her Majesty trusted the most was still her. Even if Her Majesty wanted Yao Xi to serve her every day, she still didn’t completely trust Yao Xi—otherwise, why would she send people to investigate Yao Xi’s background?
Hearing Yuanqian’s report, Wan Bi figured that Liufu really was connected to Yao Xi’s entry into the palace. As soon as Yao Xi entered, Liufu received a promotion. “Go investigate whose idea it was to promote Liufu! There aren’t many people who can randomly promote a eunuch at will…” Wan Bi cast a meaningful look at Yuanqian.
Yuanqian’s heart trembled violently. Her Majesty was suspecting Tang Huaili! “Your Majesty, Eunuch Tang has no reason to harm the Yao family. He and Lord Yao have been close friends for many years. Furthermore, if Eunuch Tang knew the truth, Noble Lady Lan wouldn’t have said those things to him…”
“Did this bereaved one even mention Tang Huaili? Why the anxious rush to guard your food4?” Wan Bi sneered. She really did suspect Tang Huaili was the one who smuggled Yao Xi into the palace. After all, Tang Huaili was Yao Hezheng’s close friend of many years. His bringing Yao Xi into the palace wasn’t necessarily to harm the Yao family; perhaps it was to help them? Yao Hezheng was an upright official and had offended quite a few people. Perhaps, fearing that his child would be murdered by enemies after the Yao family’s downfall, he entrusted Tang Huaili to secretly smuggle her into the palace, placing her in an obscure agency like the Bureau of Imperial Gardens to avoid disaster?
As for why Noble Lady Lan would tell Tang Huaili that Yao Xi was her younger brother? Perhaps, having just come out of the Cold Palace, she simply didn’t know that Tang Huaili was the one behind it all.
That eunuch named Liufu must have known. Perhaps, seeing Yao Xi taken in as her male favorite, he feared that his act of smuggling an uncastrated man into the palace to serve as a fake eunuch would be exposed. Thus, he tried to frame Yao Xi for poisoning Lady Lin to silence her, and when Tang Huaili discovered Liufu’s betrayal, he killed Liufu to silence him?
“This slave-girl wouldn’t dare,” Yuanqian said, lowering her head.
“Go back to your duties, Gugu! Tell this bereaved one immediately if you find anything. Also, how many days until Ning’an Palace is habitable again?” Wan Bi was growing tired of staying here at Longyi’s place.
“In reply to Your Majesty, they’ve just about finished clearing the wreckage. I estimate it will still be several months!”
Wan Bi nodded helplessly.
After Yuanqian left, Wan Bi called in a palace maid waiting outside the hall and ordered, “Change the mattress in Yao Xi’s duty room to a softer one, and send a few sets of everyday clothes in soft, fresh colors to her room.” Last time, she had only rewarded Yao Xi with two sets of everyday clothes. After forbidding Yao Xi from wearing her official uniform, Yao Xi had just worn those two outfits back and forth.
The palace maid received the order and withdrew.
Wan Bi didn’t go back to the bedchamber to look for Yao Xi. Instead, she sat at the table, resting her chin in her hands as she pondered the mysteries surrounding Yao Xi. She believed Yao Xi was Yao Xian; there was no reason Noble Lady Lan wouldn’t recognize her own younger brother. That meant there was only one possibility—Yao Xi truly was a daughter that Yao Hezheng had raised as a son.
Just as Wan Bi was thinking this, the palace maid she had instructed moments ago returned with something in her hands to report back.
“Your Majesty, this slave-girl found this item in Eunuch Yao’s room. I felt Your Majesty ought to know…” After speaking, the palace maid offered up Yao Xi’s chest binding cloth with both hands.
When Wan Bi saw the long strip of cloth, she didn’t associate it with a chest binding cloth at all. In the palace, a piece of cloth that long and sturdy usually only had one purpose—hanging oneself!
Footnotes
- A Chinese idiom (bānmén nòngfǔ) that literally translates to 'showing off one's proficiency with an axe before Lu Ban, the master carpenter.' It means to display one's slight skill before an expert.
- The original text uses the modern Chinese slang 'sàng', which describes a state of utter despondency, apathy, or lack of motivation.
- An idiom (chōusī bōjiǎn) literally meaning to spin silk from cocoons, used metaphorically for making a painstaking investigation or unraveling a mystery.
- An idiom (hùshí) used to describe an animal aggressively guarding its food, applied here to mean fiercely protecting someone one is attached to.
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