Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 8

The Empress Dowager is Terrifying

Managing the storeroom was a fat posting. With so much coming and going, there were plenty of perks,​¹ and nine-tenths of the money that could be skimmed from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens was concentrated there. Precisely because the job was cushy and the work was light, no one without connections could ever hope to manage the storeroom.

That Liao Bing was the nephew of the Bureau of Imperial Gardens’ top boss. Besides holding the key to the storeroom, Liao Bing also had a spare key for every room in the bureau.

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Yao Xi sat on the edge of the bed, surveying the ravaged room. She knew what had happened. Her Grace the Empress Dowager had ordered the people of the Bureau of Imperial Gardens to seize her from all over the palace. These people had naturally assumed she wouldn’t survive the night and had impatiently and eagerly divided up her belongings. As few as one person might have been involved, though it was also possible that the entire Bureau of Imperial Gardens had a share.

Right now, if she wanted to avoid trouble for herself, she should just tidy up the room and pretend nothing had happened. She was a lowly menial without background or ability; she couldn’t afford to provoke Liao Bing and his cronies. It was even possible that Eunuch Liao himself had ordered it.

But she didn’t dare let it go just like that. It wasn’t because she was greedy and couldn’t bear to part with the things Zheng Dayun had given her. Rather, with bullying, once is followed by twice. If she acted meek​² and endured it this time, then anyone in the Bureau of Imperial Gardens would dare to bully her in the future. The world of eunuchs was full of messy affairs. It would be one thing if they just made her take on more chores, but she was most afraid that someone who coveted her looks would take advantage of her being bullied and ostracized to cause trouble.

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No one had expected Yao Xi to return from Ning’an Palace alive. Liao Bing paced back and forth in front of Liao Yaoming, the seal-holding director of the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, until Liao Yaoming’s head spun.

“If you have something to say, say it. Have the things purchased this morning been put into storage? What are you doing just wandering around here?” Liao Yaoming looked at his disappointing nephew. As much as he disliked him, he didn’t dare send the man back to his hometown. He himself had been castrated and entered the palace​³ to earn some silver for his family to live on. He still had an elderly mother back home, and after entering the palace, he was a thousand li away. On a normal day, his old mother could only rely on his older brother and sister-in-law for care.

With his financial support, his brother and sister-in-law wouldn’t have to sell their children, but Liao Bing had been envious of the capital’s wealth and had voluntarily entered the palace to become a eunuch. To be willing to take the knife​⁴ for the sake of glory and riches—that kid Liao Bing was ambitious enough, but unfortunately, his vision was too narrow. He couldn’t stand to see the slightest profit pass him by.

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“Uncle, did you know? That Yao Xi from our bureau came back from Ning’an Palace this morning,” Liao Bing said, bowing at the waist.

“So he came back. What’s the big deal!” Liao Yaoming sat at his desk checking yesterday’s accounts. After he finished reviewing them, he had to hurry and deliver them to the Directorate of Ceremonial. He had no time to listen to his nephew’s nonsense. But Liao Bing’s words did remind him of something. If a subordinate made a mistake before a master, he couldn’t escape responsibility either. So he said to the young attendant beside him, “Inform the person in charge of Yao Xi to discipline that young punk. Tell him not to cause any more trouble for the Bureau of Imperial Gardens.”

After accepting the order, the attendant asked, “A verbal warning, or…”

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“A few words will suffice. Her Grace the Empress Dowager didn’t punish him, so it’s not our place.” Liao Yaoming was a shrewd man.​⁵ There had to be a reason that little eunuch had returned from Ning’an Palace alive.

Only after his uncle had finished giving orders did Liao Bing whisper, “The problem is, your nephew thought that kid wouldn’t be coming back, so I… all the valuable things in his room…”

Liao Yaoming stopped his brush and glared at Liao Bing. “You took them?”

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“Heh.” Liao Bing moved closer, fawning. “It’s all good stuff! I was planning to present it to you this morning as a filial gift.”

“You think everyone is as short-sighted as you?” Furious, Liao Yaoming backhanded Liao Bing across the face, sending him stumbling. “You even covet a subordinate’s things? Am I starving you or freezing you? You worthless piece of trash. Don’t you know who gave that kid the things in his room? Don’t you know that Eunuch Zheng is close to that kid?”

Liao Bing clutched his face and said miserably, “I know. I really didn’t think he’d be able to come back.”

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“Eunuch Zheng’s side is manageable; I can still put in a word for you.” Liao Yaoming had a greater worry. “There was such a huge commotion at Ning’an Palace last night, yet that Yao Xi came back completely unscathed. Could he have returned if he hadn’t won Her Grace the Empress Dowager’s favor?”

“Then I… I should return the things immediately?” Liao Bing was getting scared now, too.

“Idiot. Are you afraid people won’t know you took them?” Liao Yaoming calmed himself​⁶ and instructed, “Take the things and throw them away. As long as you’re alive, you’ll have chances to get better things. If this blows up and someone comes asking, just say your key was stolen.”

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“Okay, okay, okay,” Liao Bing readily agreed. “That Yao Xi, are we going to have to worship him like an ancestor now?”

“It won’t come to that. It won’t be too late to start sucking up once that kid truly gains Her Grace the Empress Dowager’s favor.” Liao Yaoming recalled the chaotic turmoil​⁷ of the previous night and sighed. “That Yao Xi is a real troublemaker. We’d best find an excuse to transfer him to another bureau.”

Liao Bing nodded thoughtfully, which only made Liao Yaoming kick him hard in the ass. “You little turtle bastard!​⁸ Why aren’t you getting rid of that stuff! Are you waiting for Yao Xi to bring people to search your room?”

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“Yes, yes, yes.” Liao Bing scurried off.

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When Wan Bi awoke, the room was dim. She thought she had slept straight through to nightfall.

“What time is it?” Wan Bi rarely stayed up late. After sleeping with her days and nights turned upside down like this, her head was groggy, and she was seeing double.

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A palace maid in attendance checked the clepsydra and replied, “Your Grace, it is not yet the Wu Hour.”​⁹

“Why is it so dark in here at high noon?​¹⁰ Why aren’t the lamps lit?” Wan Bi rubbed her forehead and sat up.

A palace maid quickly lit the lamps, while the one who had been questioned continued, “Replying to Your Grace, it is overcast today. Her Majesty the Empress said the National Treasury is tight, and she has asked all the palaces to be more frugal with their expenditures.”

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“The National Treasury is tight?” Wan Bi frowned and ordered, “Then leave the lamps unlit. Open the windows and serve this bereaved one to wash and dress.” Suddenly recalling something, Wan Bi glanced toward the hall entrance. “Has that slave from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens returned?”

“He has returned,” the maid said.

“Was he told he’s guarding the Cold Palace tonight?” Wan Bi’s expression was expectant.

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The palace maid nodded. “Maiden Yuanqian has informed him.”

After dressing and washing her hands in preparation for the noon meal, Wan Bi sat at the table and stared coldly at the dishes. Today’s lunch was truly simple. There were only a dozen or so dishes, and it was a sea of green; there were only two meat dishes.

Seeing their master’s foul expression, none of the servants in Ning’an Palace dared to breathe too loudly.

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“Heh~” Wan Bi let out a cold laugh. “Who went to fetch the meal? It’s all vegetable leaves. Are you feeding this bereaved one like a cow or a horse?”

The eunuchs of Ning’an Palace were not permitted to serve her up close. The roomful of palace maids all fell to their knees in terror.

Wan Bi swept her gaze over the maids, then grabbed a teacup and hurled it forcefully into an empty space. “Which slave fetched this meal!” she bellowed.

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A young palace maid, on the verge of tears, knelt forward two steps and explained, “This slave-girl… This slave-girl fetched it. Her Majesty the Empress said that from today onward, Ning’an Palace will have eighteen dishes per meal, Her Majesty the Empress’s palace will have fifteen, and all the masters’ portions have been reduced…”

The Empress was in charge of the rear palaces’ affairs. Wan Bi was not one to worry about such things; she couldn’t be bothered with the concubines’ squabbles for favor or the servants’ scheming. But for the Empress to curry favor with the Emperor, she had to drag Wan Bi down into living and eating poorly? In her dreams!

“Summon the Empress to this bereaved one! If she loves this pile of vegetable leaves so much, she can eat every last bite for this bereaved one!”

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Wan Bi wasn’t against frugality, but she was utterly disgusted by the Empress’s pretentious behavior to win favor. If she truly wanted to save money for the Daxing nation, the Empress should first persuade her own spendthrift father. And even if she had to start with the rear palaces, she should cut in the right places. Was the biggest expense in the rear palaces lamp oil? Was it food? No, it was the jewelry, clothes, rouge, and powder of the various ladies. If she had the guts, why not cut those? See if those women who valued beauty as much as their lives wouldn’t tear her to shreds.

In truth, very little of the palace masters’ food was ever wasted. Although it seemed the masters only took a few bites of the dozens of dishes, the leftovers were always bestowed upon the servants in attendance. Very little was truly wasted.

The moment Empress Zhu heard the Empress Dowager had summoned her to Ning’an Palace, she was in the middle of her meal and suddenly lost her appetite. “Did Mother Empress say why she is looking for this palace?”

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The eunuch who had come to deliver the decree shook his head.

Zhu-shi knew it couldn’t be anything good. She was clearly the one managing all the affairs of the rear palaces, yet she was completely suppressed by the Empress Dowager. Those assassins who broke into Ning’an Palace at night were so useless, too. Every time, they only killed palace maids and eunuchs, never even touching a single hair on Wan Bi’s head. She truly wished for Wan Bi’s death. If not for Wan Bi impeding her​¹¹ at every turn in this palace, she would have long since cleaned up all those little vixens who bewitched the Emperor.​¹² Why would she need to pretend to be virtuous, saving silver by eating and living poorly?

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Zhu-shi picked up a napkin and dabbed her mouth. What was coming couldn’t be avoided anyway. The Late Emperor had truly managed to ensure Wan Bi a lifetime of peace. Even in death, he had left a testamentary edict protecting her. If the Emperor had even a fraction of that devotion for her, she wouldn’t have to fight with everyone.

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When Zhu-shi entered the dining room of Ning’an Palace, she saw the untouched food on the table and the shattered porcelain on the floor and knew her guess was correct. Drastically cutting the expenditures of all the palaces was sure to displease many, but the only one who dared to openly oppose her was the Empress Dowager.

“This child-subject greets Mother Empress. It seems Mother Empress has invited this child-subject over to dine with you?” Zhu-shi made some lighthearted chatter as she curtsied to Wan Bi.

A faint smile touched Wan Bi’s lips as she gestured for Zhu-shi to sit. “But of course. The Directorate of Imperial Cuisine sent far too many dishes today. How could this bereaved one possibly eat it all alone?”

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“This child-subject has already eaten.” Zhu-shi didn’t have much of an appetite either. Inevitably, one had to suffer a little to please the Emperor. In truth, the provisions for Ning’an Palace were already the best; her own meal had three fewer dishes than the Empress Dowager’s. Fortunately, if she had a craving, she could use her own silver to have the small kitchen prepare something, so she wouldn’t have to go hungry.

Every time the rear palaces’ expenditures were cut, it became a competition of family wealth.

Those with plenty of silver could live as they always had, only needing to put on a show in front of the Emperor and be discreet when using their fine things. The ones who suffered were those who had entered the palace from poor families. They had little silver to begin with, and with their monthly stipend​¹³ reduced, their lives became even harder. But the slaves who ran errands for the various bureaus had to be tipped, not to mention her own palace staff who needed rewards on holidays and festivals. You have no money? Then you can’t blame the slaves for their inattentive service, or even blame some for colluding with others to frame you so they could switch masters.

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So Zhu-shi didn’t understand why Wan Bi was making a fuss. The hardship wouldn’t fall on the Empress Dowager’s head. Although Wan Bi’s maternal family was gone, the ever-thoughtful great romantic of Daxing, the Late Emperor, had left Her Grace the Empress Dowager a private treasury.​¹⁴ It wasn’t as if she depended on that small monthly stipend from the palace to live.

“This one hears the Empress has cut the expenditures of all the palaces to save silver for the Emperor?” Wan Bi gazed at the verdant dishes and smiled at Zhu-shi. “The Empress is still young. How much silver can you save like this? It’s a pity that your heart is in the right place, but your method is wrong.”

“Oh? In Mother Empress’s esteemed opinion, what should be done?” Zhu-shi breathed a sigh of relief. She had thought Wan Bi would use this to attack her, but it seemed she had been summoned to get advice.

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Wan Bi revealed a mysterious smile. “Did the Emperor say how much silver is needed?”

“This one hears it’s a shortfall of over two million taels,” Zhu-shi replied respectfully.

Wan Bi counted on her fingers, then smiled at Zhu-shi. “That’s not much at all!”

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“Mother Empress has an idea?” Joy bloomed on Zhu-shi’s face. Could it be that Wan Bi was willing to use her private treasury to fill the National Treasury’s deficit?

“Mm. The Empress will see!” Wan Bi placed a large clump of leafy greens into Zhu-shi’s bowl and said kindly, “Have a taste.”

Zhu-shi didn’t dare refuse Wan Bi. She reluctantly stuffed it into her mouth, chewed twice, and washed it down with tea. The moment she swallowed, many more vegetables appeared in her bowl. She turned her head to see Wan Bi smiling lovingly at her, like a kind mother watching to see if her child was eating obediently.

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“Eat more. There’s still plenty.” A wave of dark satisfaction washed over Wan Bi.

“Mother Empress, this child-subject has already eaten. Any more and this one will be unable to digest it,” Zhu-shi demurred, looking troubled.

Hearing this, Wan Bi frowned slightly as if worried for Zhu-shi’s health. In the next moment, she stood and personally ladled a bowl of soup for Zhu-shi. “Then have some of this? It aids digestion.” She handed it personally to Zhu-shi, once again revealing that motherly smile. “Be good. You’re not allowed to leave until you finish!”

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