The Great King Ordered Me to Marry

Original Title: 大王叫我去出嫁

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4198512

Description:

The chickens at the foot of the mountain were nearly eaten clean. In a fit of rage, the Mountain Lord ordered the fox to become a nun¹.

Why become a nun? Wasn’t it simply to make the fox eat vegetarian, cultivate her character, and stir up less trouble?

But the fox misheard it as getting married. She spruced herself up until she was squeaky clean, picked up her bundle, and went off to find another mountain king².

With sweet talk, tricks, and deception, employing every trick up her sleeve, she finally climbed into the great king’s bed. Yet before she’d even warmed the sheets, she was kicked out.

The little patrol demon was so terrified his soul nearly fled his body. “You can’t stroke a tiger’s backside³!”

Footnotes

In Chinese, 'chujia' (出家) means to leave home and enter monastic life, while 'chujia' (出嫁) means for a woman to marry. The two terms are homophones save for their tones.
A colloquial term 'shan dawang' (山大王) refers to a mountain bandit chief or a powerful demon lord ruling over a mountain territory.
A common Chinese idiom (老虎屁股摸不得) meaning one should not provoke a powerful or fearsome person.