Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 132

by Little Panda

The Empress Dowager Refuses

Yao Xi had the jade pendant she’d just bought hanging from her waist, and her hands were full of all sorts of snacks and treats. As soon as she stepped out of the jewelry shop, she freed up a hand to take the things the Empress Dowager was carrying. “Your Highness, give those to me!”

Her Highness had gotten far too into playing the part of an ordinary woman out shopping and absolutely refused to let any eunuchs or palace maids help. They’d been strolling and buying the whole way, and the pile of goods just kept growing — a lot of it was in Her Highness’s hands.

“No need. This bereaved one can even carry you; what’s a little bit of this?” Wan Bi hefted the weight in one hand and pulled a handkerchief from her bosom to wipe Yao Xi’s sticky little mouth. “Where do you want to go next?”

“Let me think.” Yao Xi took a contemplative bite of the sugar cake in her hand.

Wan Bi opened her mouth. “Don’t just eat by yourself. Let this bereaved one have a taste.”

The sugar cake in her hand was already all bitten up in jagged places. Yao Xi was trying to find a good spot for Her Highness to bite when the Empress Dowager leaned in and took a mouthful right along Yao Xi’s own teeth marks. Yao Xi’s heart felt a little sweet, but also a little uncomfortable. She not only minded eating food someone else had already bitten, she also minded someone else eating food she’d already bitten. It was something she’d have to get used to slowly. She tried taking a bite where Her Highness had bitten… Huh? It didn’t feel so bad anymore.

Yao Xi pulled her own handkerchief from her bosom and gently dabbed the sugar juice from the corner of the Empress Dowager’s mouth. On the bustling street, the two of them carried on, lost in each other, as if no one else existed.

Emperor Ming Cheng stood behind them, hands tucked into his sleeves, watching the whole scene with a cold expression. He wanted to see just how long it would take for these two, who had eyes only for each other, to notice he was there.

“Your Highness, how about we go check out the bookstore?” Yao Xi said with a smile. “The books in your study are all way too profound. I don’t have the learning for them, really can’t get into them. I just want to read something fun and easy.”

Wan Bi shot Yao Xi a look of disdain, but there was a smile in it. “Most of the books in these shops come from the Imperial Academy and the Directorate of Ceremonial’s printing house. You can take a look and see if there’s anything you like. This bereaved one will send someone to buy some interesting ones from the common market another day. And think about whether there’s anything else you want that isn’t here — tell this bereaved one all at once. Since this street is a gift from me, of course everything here is up to you.”

Emperor Ming Cheng was stunned. So all this commotion Wan Bi had stirred up wasn’t for herself — it was to please Yao Xi?

He wouldn’t dare spoil a favored consort like this, let alone Sun Yan! Besides anger, the Emperor felt a tiny pang of shameful inadequacy.

He could use the silver from the National Treasury, but he didn’t dare spend it recklessly. Silver came from the people, and in the end, it had to be spent on the people. Even if he wasn’t a wise ruler or a worthy sovereign, he was certainly no tyrant.

“Empress Dowager.” Emperor Ming Cheng called out with a dark face to the two of them, who were ignoring him and continuing to stroll ahead.

Wan Bi turned around and, seeing it was Emperor Ming Cheng, stopped walking and smiled. “Your Majesty is here too. Why didn’t you bring Tang Huaili?”

“Tang Huaili is ill. Empress Dowager, have all this cleared away after today’s fun!” Emperor Ming Cheng swept an unhappy glance at Yao Xi. Not only did this eunuch show no proper decorum in front of Wan Bi, but he’d also apparently fed her some kind of love potion to make her dote on him like this.

“Clear it away?” Wan Bi smiled and shook her head. “This bereaved one was planning to start construction tomorrow and turn this into a proper street! Build a memorial archway at the entrance. Your Majesty can write the plaque.”

“Ridiculous. Does the Empress Dowager know how many officials impeached you at morning court today? Lavishing this much expense on a eunuch — aren’t you afraid of being laughed at if word gets out!” Emperor Ming Cheng shot another furious glance at Yao Xi. This girl Wan Bi had been cooped up in the palace too long and was too naive — that was the only reason she was being led around by the nose by this effeminate eunuch.

Yao Xi couldn’t bear the burning heat of the Emperor’s glare. Frightened, she shrank back behind the Empress Dowager. Wan Bi turned and gave Yao Xi a gentle smile, then softly took her hand. “Didn’t you want to go look at the bookstore? Go on ahead. This bereaved one will come find you in a bit.”

She didn’t want to discuss this with Emperor Ming Cheng in the middle of the street. Everyone needed face, especially the Son of Heaven. It was easier to get the Emperor to concede in private. She sent Yao Xi off, then stepped into the jewelry shop and said to the “shopkeeper,” “Everyone out! This bereaved one needs a word with His Majesty.”

“If the Empress Dowager has something to say, then say it!” Emperor Ming Cheng sat down on a chair with a cold face. When Wan Bi talked to that little eunuch named Yao Xi, she was like a completely different person — so gentle it was unbelievable. Was this really the same Wan Bi who was always scolding him like a grandson?

“Who said this bereaved one did it for Yao Xi?” Wan Bi’s smile faded. She set down her things and sat down close beside Emperor Ming Cheng. Even if this had been her own idea and Yao Xi hadn’t known about it beforehand — and even if Yao Xi had asked her for it — she would still have to take the fall for Yao Xi. The Emperor wouldn’t do anything to her, but he might not be so lenient with Yao Xi. “There are so many people in this world who want this bereaved one dead. I don’t dare risk leaving the palace. If I want to go shopping, the only option is to bring the market inside the palace, isn’t it?”

“Just now, We clearly heard the Empress Dowager say this street was a gift for Yao Xi!” Emperor Ming Cheng shot Wan Bi a sidelong glance.

“This bereaved one was just doing Yao Xi a favor.” Wan Bi toyed with her nail guards, her tone indifferent. “Besides, what’s wrong with spending the silver I’ve scrimped and saved myself to buy a little fun? It hasn’t cost the Daxing National Treasury a single half-cent.”

“What do you mean?” Emperor Ming Cheng was confused. The expenses for agencies like the Directorate of Ceremonial and the Palace Administration Bureau were all drawn from the National Treasury! Otherwise, the ministers wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.

Wan Bi gave Emperor Ming Cheng a careless smile. “Everything on this street was bought with my own private funds. From now on, any silver needed to remodel the palace buildings will also come from my own coffers. Does Your Majesty see any problem with that?”

Emperor Ming Cheng was stunned for a moment, then shook his head in defeat. Since Wan Bi was using silver from her private treasury, who could say anything?

“Your Majesty, why don’t you tell me — who were the ones who impeached this bereaved one at morning court today?” Wan Bi asked with a yawn. She’d played too wildly last night and hadn’t slept much. After half a day of shopping with Yao Xi, she was starting to get drowsy.

“What does the Empress Dowager want to do now?” Emperor Ming Cheng was uneasy, but he told Wan Bi anyway. It wasn’t like he could hide it from her.

After hearing the three names, Wan Bi reached out and patted Emperor Ming Cheng on the shoulder with a smile. “Your Majesty, remember them. They are all usable men. Anyone who still dares to offend this bereaved one after the Zhu Xiangchang affair is someone willing to risk their life for Daxing. These three may have minor flaws, but their principles are sound. They can be given important posts.”

Emperor Ming Cheng brushed Wan Bi’s hand away, his anger not yet cooled. “We have a handle on it. But you — even if it’s your own silver, spending so lavishly is bound to draw criticism.”

“Let them criticize. This bereaved one can’t hear them anyway.” Wan Bi stood up and picked out a bamboo dragonfly from the pile of trinkets she’d bought, handing it to Emperor Ming Cheng. “Your Majesty, don’t always be so wound up. This bereaved one has set a rule for this street: once you enter here, there’s no master and servant. Even you, the true Son of Heaven, ought to get a little touch of the common world now and then.”

Emperor Ming Cheng took the bamboo dragonfly and gave it a light twist. It disobediently flew spinning out the door. He couldn’t help but smile bitterly. “How many years has it been since I played with one of these? I’ve long since lost the touch.”

“If there are still protests at tomorrow’s morning court, Your Majesty only needs to throw the income and expenditure ledgers of the various agencies at them.” Wan Bi picked up her things and stood. She had to go find Yao Xi.

“Let Us help the Empress Dowager carry some of that!” Seeing Wan Bi lugging such heavy things all by herself, Emperor Ming Cheng felt both distressed and indignant. “What good is Yao Xi? He’s stuffing his face with food while the Empress Dowager does all the heavy lifting!”

“The matters of this bereaved one’s household and Yao Xi’s are none of your business!” Wan Bi very much disliked Emperor Ming Cheng’s attitude toward Yao Xi.

Hearing this, Emperor Ming Cheng snatched the things from Wan Bi’s hands and said angrily, “What kind of talk is that? We are not your family, but that slave is?”

“Oh? Then what kind of family is Your Majesty to this bereaved one?” Wan Bi’s mischievous side stirred again.

“Can’t be bothered with you.” Emperor Ming Cheng carried Wan Bi’s things and strode out of the jewelry shop, then called back gruffly to the Empress Dowager behind him, “Mind the threshold!”

Yao Xi had followed the Empress Dowager’s instructions and gone to the bookstore first. She never expected to run into the young lady of the Sun family there.

“Cousin?” Yao Xi hurried forward and greeted her in a low voice.

Sun Yan was idly flipping through books out of boredom. Hearing the voice, she turned around and was delighted to see Yao Xi. “Eunuch Yao? I was just telling my elder female cousin that it’s so hard to get a word with you in the palace. The Empress Dowager is always glued to your side.”

“Didn’t the Princess and Jieyu Lan come?” Yao Xi asked, seeing Sun Yan alone in the shop. She’d actually been a bit nervous about facing Jieyu Lan lately, because of the matter of Young Master Yao. She wanted to run into her, but she was also afraid to — it was a real dilemma.

“They came.” Sun Yan crooked a finger at Yao Xi, then leaned in and whispered, “Yao-jiejie wanted to go look at calligraphy and paintings, so my elder female cousin went with her. I was afraid I’d be in the way if I tagged along, so I used wanting to buy books as an excuse to come here.”

“In the way? What do you mean?” Yao Xi looked confused.

Sun Yan worried she’d let something slip. Did Yao Xi not know about her elder female cousin and Yao-jiejie’s situation? That would be bad. She quickly covered. “I mean, I don’t know much about calligraphy and paintings. They’re both connoisseurs, so I was afraid I’d disturb their appreciation if I went.”

“Oh, oh.” Yao Xi smiled and lifted the pile of snacks in her hand, shaking them at Sun Yan. “Cousin, take a look. Is there anything you’d like to eat?”

Sun Yan didn’t stand on ceremony. She’d only been in the palace a few days, but she already desperately missed life outside. Luckily, the Empress Dowager had built this street overnight and brought in so many delicious and fun things from outside the palace. “I want some of those sugar-roasted chestnuts.”

Yao Xi spread the oilpaper packet of sugar-roasted chestnuts open on the table, then opened up the other snacks as well. “Cousin, why don’t you try a bit of everything? We can eat and chat.”

“Sounds great!” Sun Yan sat down generously on one side of the table, with Yao Xi on the other.

When it came to chestnuts, Yao Xi was all thumbs and couldn’t peel a single one after ages of trying. Sun Yan, on the other hand, could crack one open with a single squeeze, one after another. She laughed and urged Yao Xi, “Eunuch, don’t bother peeling them. Watching you use your fingernails like that hurts just to look at.” She easily squeezed one open, took out the kernel, and handed it to Yao Xi. “I’m fast at peeling. You just eat the ones I peel.”

Yao Xi gave an admiring thumbs-up. “Cousin, you have divine strength!” She remembered the terror of being at the mercy of that mad horse back at the Princess’s fiefdom, and how easily Cousin Sun had caught her. No wonder Her Highness the Princess called Cousin “Dali” — the name was well earned!

Even though the capable could do more, Yao Xi wasn’t thick-skinned enough to just enjoy the fruits of Cousin Sun’s labor without reciprocating. She picked up a juicy peach, peeled it, broke off a piece, and handed it to Sun Yan. “Try this.”

Sun Yan meant to take it with her hand, but her fingers were all black and sticky from peeling the sugar-roasted chestnuts. And since she wasn’t one to stand on ceremony, she just opened her mouth and took the piece of peach Yao Xi was feeding her. Yao Xi pulled her hand back a little awkwardly. Feeding someone was still too intimate a gesture. She’d only ever fed the Empress Dowager.

But Wan Bi and Emperor Ming Cheng didn’t know it was just a misunderstanding. When they arrived at the bookstore entrance, this is the heartwarming scene they saw:

Yao Xi had peeled a peach and was feeding it to Sun Yan.

Sun Yan had peeled a chestnut and was handing it to Yao Xi.

And so…

Emperor Ming Cheng wanted to kill Yao Xi.

Empress Dowager Wan wanted to slaughter Sun Yan.