Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 39
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Jiu’er glanced at the burning room. Before the flames could spread, she rushed over and pulled out the bolt locking the window shut, then unhooked the iron lock on the outside of the door that had prevented Beauty Yu from escaping. The lock was already searing hot; she had to wrap her hand in a handkerchief just to touch it.
“You were careless,” Jiu’er said to Yao Shuanglan. As she spoke, she tossed the lock into the pond before them. The hot iron hit the water with a loud sizzle.
“I thought it would all burn to ash, so I didn’t pay it any mind.” Yao Shuanglan returned a grateful smile. It turned out that people really could exchange one heart for another1. What unsettled her was that while her kindness toward the women of Jingling Palace was without ulterior motive, it wasn’t entirely sincere, either. It was a superficial kindness, one that didn’t involve giving away her true heart. For Jiu’er to help her like this made her feel undeserving.
“With rain this heavy, you can’t be sure!” Jiu’er coughed, choking on the thick smoke. She asked, bewildered, “Why did you suddenly…?” She gestured toward the room being devoured by flames behind her. She didn’t understand why Noble Lady Lan had suddenly developed the intent to kill Beauty Yu. “Was it because of what happened to Noble Lady Yan?”
Yao Shuanglan shook her head. “Not entirely. My family is in trouble. I have to find a way out. Yu-shi just arrived, so she still holds some weight in the Emperor’s heart. With her dead, given His Majesty’s temperament, he’s bound to come take a look.” Yao Shuanglan gazed into the distance, at the other great fire that mirrored the one in Jingling Palace. “If I remember correctly, that’s the direction of Ning’an Palace, isn’t it?”
Jiu’er nodded. “Empress Dowager Wan is a person of great fortune. I wonder who’s trying to harm her this time.”
A knot of worry formed in Yao Shuanglan’s stomach. If it were only the fire at Jingling Palace, the Emperor would certainly come. But it seemed Ning’an Palace was also ablaze, which made his arrival uncertain. The Emperor’s attitude toward the Empress Dowager couldn’t be called filial piety; “indulgence” was a more fitting word. He let her have her way in everything. It was impossible for him not to go to Ning’an Palace if something happened. But how long he would be delayed there, and whether he would still come to Jingling Palace after seeing the Empress Dowager, was anyone’s guess.
The fire grew. The residents of Jingling Palace began to wake up, one after another. Jiu’er patted Yao Shuanglan’s shoulder. “If anyone asks, you don’t need to be afraid. Apart from the ones who’ve gone mad, the women of the Cold Palace are all sisters who have weathered storms together. I’ll go have a word with them. I’ll say that Yu-shi was arrogant and refused to live in the South Room, so she stole your room instead. Then, during the thunderstorm, she couldn’t bear the cold and misery of the Cold Palace and committed self-immolation.”
“Thank you, Jiu’er-jiejie. If any of the other sisters want to get out, they should hurry and get ready. It’s a rare occasion for His Majesty to visit. Perhaps he’ll be mindful of old feelings and let a few of them leave.” Yao Shuanglan adjusted the plain silver hairpin in her hair. She could only hope the Emperor would come. Otherwise, she would have to ask Longyi for help.
Jiu’er laughed heartily. “How could life outside be as comfortable as it is in Jingling Palace? Except for the two who came in at the start of the year, all the old sisters have given up hope.”
In Ning’an Palace, Wan Bi watched until the Main Hall was nearly consumed by flames. Seeing that the Side Halls were about to befall the same fate, she finally gave the order to the palace staff who were accompanying her in the rain to admire the fire. “Alright. Put it out!”
Burning any more would be a waste, and Wan Bi felt a pang of regret. A little show was enough to achieve her goal. After this fire, she would have to find a temporary residence. If too much burned, rebuilding Ning’an Palace would take too long, and she was too lazy to wait. No other place was as comfortable as Ning’an Palace.
Yao Xi held an umbrella for the Empress Dowager, her mind in a daze.
Did I just watch a person burn to death right in front of me?
The feeling was bizarre. She couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like if she were the assassin tied up in that hall, being burned alive. The assassin deserved to die, of course, but to see a fellow human being die before her eyes, no matter how deserving, left her with a strange sense of unease.
“Eunuch Yao!” Wan Bi glanced at Yao Xi, her expression displeased. “I told you to hold the umbrella to shield this bereaved one from the rain, not to use it to channel a downpour onto this bereaved one!”
“This slave deserves death!” Yao Xi quickly straightened the umbrella.
The umbrella was only so big. Wan Bi watched as Yao Xi stood on her tiptoes to hold it directly over her, leaving herself to be soaked by the rain. She waved a hand dismissively. “Forget it. Go back to your room and rest. You are no longer needed here.”
“This slave obeys!” Yao Xi’s reply was exceptionally loud. Oh, yeah! I can finally get off work2! She was already exhausted from the day’s drinking and fighting. Since the Empress Dowager was telling her to leave, she didn’t stand on ceremony. She briskly handed the umbrella to Yuanqian-gugu and retreated.
Wan Bi turned her head, her gaze following Yao Xi’s departing figure, which showed not a hint of reluctance. “He’s certainly not one for pleasantries.”
The living quarters for the palace maids and eunuchs were intact, but the Empress Dowager’s bedchamber was now uninhabitable. Yuanqian, holding the umbrella, asked, “Your Majesty, where will you rest tonight?”
“There are so many empty halls in the palace. We’ll just find one to stay in for a while. The servants don’t all need to move; just bring a few to attend to me. The storeroom is still here, so we need our people to guard it.” Wan Bi glanced toward the still-burning Jingling Palace. “I wonder who’s making mischief over there.”
Don’t even suggest it was an accidental fire. For a blaze that large to start in such heavy rain, it was either arson or a lightning strike. Wan Bi knew that lightning had not struck Jingling Palace, which left only one possibility.
It was at times like this that you could see who truly treated the palace as their own home. She felt a pang of regret for burning too much of Ning’an Palace, but Jingling Palace was nearly burnt to the ground, and there was hardly a stir. The arsonist was remarkably composed. Truly, one doesn’t feel the pain when it’s not one’s own home! She suspected those resentful women in the Cold Palace were capable of it. Perhaps they wanted to use tonight’s gale to burn down the entire imperial palace.
“The fire at Jingling Palace cannot be an accident,” Wan Bi said to Yuanqian. “If the arsonist is caught tonight, so be it. If not, you must order people to investigate. The women in the Cold Palace who don’t stir up trouble can be left alone, but those with dangerous ideas like arson absolutely cannot be spared.”
A woman with dangerous ideas like arson? Your Majesty, are you talking about yourself? Yuanqian thought, stealing a glance at her master with a complicated expression.
Emperor Ming Cheng was agonizing over which beauty’s palace to grace with his presence tonight.
It’s been a while since I visited that one; I should probably go see her. That other one has been feeling unwell lately; it seems I should check on her, too. This one’s father and brother are currently in favor; a visit would elevate her status. But that newly arrived woman is just so pleasing to the eye…
“Tang Huaili,” Emperor Ming Cheng said, finding it hard to decide. He asked, “Where do you think We should go tonight?”
“Your Majesty should go wherever you please,” Tang Huaili replied. “As for the other ladies, Your Majesty can bestow gifts or grant a promotion. You don’t necessarily have to…” You don’t necessarily have to offer up your body, Your Majesty!
“We remember it was never this difficult before,” Emperor Ming Cheng sighed, suddenly losing the desire to go anywhere.
Tang Huaili smiled. “Before, there was Noble Lady Lan, and later Beauty Yu. Both received your exclusive favor, so of course Your Majesty did not find it difficult. That is why this slave says Your Majesty should go to whomever you like. If there is no one you fancy at the moment, then Your Majesty can review a few more memorials, and this slave will attend to you for bed.”
Just then, a young eunuch came to report. “Your Majesty, something terrible has happened! Ning’an Palace and Jingling Palace are on fire, and people have died at both locations.”
“Who died?” Emperor Ming Cheng’s heart leaped into his throat. In that instant, two faces flashed through his mind: Wan Bi and Noble Lady Lan. As long as it wasn’t those two, he couldn’t care less who it was.
He was startled by his own thought. He had believed he had long since let her go, but upon hearing she might be in danger, he still couldn’t help but worry.
The Late Emperor had been infatuated with Wan Bi; he himself had only ever had his heart truly moved by Noble Lady Lan. He had liked many women, but she was the only one he couldn’t put down. But his luck was not as good as the Late Emperor’s. Though the Late Emperor never won Wan Bi’s body or soul, at least no one else had either. When a woman’s affections are not yet engaged3, there is always hope.
His luck was poor; he had fallen for a woman whose heart already belonged to someone else. She had even gone to the Cold Palace of her own volition—a fiery spirit, willing to go to that godforsaken place just to avoid him. And yet, he still couldn’t let her go. He still worried about how she was faring in the Cold Palace and had countless times considered bringing her out, only to abandon the idea for fear of being rejected.
The young eunuch replied, “It is not yet clear.”
Tang Huaili needed to arrange for the imperial sedan chair. “Your Majesty, which palace will you go to first?”
Emperor Ming Cheng faced a choice: his wife and his stepmother had both fallen into a fire. Who would he go to see first?
“Set out for Ning’an Palace,” he said without a shred of hesitation. He had no shortage of wives, but he had only one mother in Wan Bi—even if he was very resistant to acknowledging her as his stepmother.
The author has something to say:
I’m busy tonight, so this is a teensy bit short~
Also, my apologies to all the babies hounding me for updates. This author has trash hand speed4; two chapters a day is my limit!
As for those who want four chapters… 233335
Doesn’t your conscience hurt???6Footnotes
- To 'exchange one heart for another' (yǐ xīn huàn xīn) is an expression for a relationship built on mutual sincerity and trust.
- Modern Mandarin for 'to get off work' or 'to clock out' (xiàbān). Its use here reflects the protagonist's transmigrated, modern consciousness.
- A classical idiom, lit. 'her fragrant heart has no master' (fāngxīn wú zhǔ), meaning a woman's affections are not yet engaged by anyone.
- A modern Chinese internet slang term, lit. 'trash hand speed' (zhā shǒusù), meaning the author types or writes very slowly.
- A string of numbers used in Chinese online communities to represent laughter, derived from a laughing emoticon.
- Lit. 'Doesn't your conscience hurt?' (nǐmen de liángxīn bù huì tòng ma). This is a popular Chinese internet meme phrase used to jokingly call someone out for being unreasonable or demanding.
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