Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 104
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager Refuses
Excited, Wan Bi shoved the box of chess pieces aside and stood up.
The chess pieces Emperor Ming Cheng had spent so much effort gathering clattered all over the floor in an instant.
He gazed down at the scattered black stones with a heavy heart, acutely aware that he was no longer the person the Empress Dowager cared about most. Right now, her every concern was centered on that little eunuch, Yao Xi. The Emperor suddenly found himself a little jealous of Yao Xi, and more than a little nostalgic for the days when he and the Empress Dowager had shared a close bond.
He even wondered if her sudden impatience with him stemmed from the day of the Dragon Boat Festival, when he had finally called her “Mother Empress.” Wan Bi had spent years eagerly longing to hear that form of address from his lips. Had the wench lost interest in him the moment she got her wish?
“Where is she?” Wan Bi demanded, her gaze darting to the empty space behind Ping’er. Since they’d found her, why hadn’t she been brought back?
Ping’er replied, “People from the shops aren’t permitted to enter the palace, and this slave-girl wasn’t entirely certain if the person was indeed Yao Xi, so I had them wait at the outer palace gate first.”
“What do you mean you aren’t sure if it’s Yao Xi?” Wan Bi’s face darkened. It was one thing for Ping’er to fail to recognize her from a portrait, but how could she still be unsure with the person standing right in front of her? Her Yao Xi didn’t have the kind of ordinary face you could find on any random street corner.
“This slave-girl has poor eyesight; please forgive me, Your Highness.” Ping’er lowered her head in trepidation. She had once believed she knew what Yao Xi looked like—until she saw the portrait the Empress Dowager had painted. Now, she was starting to wonder if she was truly blind.
“Come, this bereaved one will go see for herself.” Wan Bi strode out of the hall and ordered a palanquin1 to be readied. She was convinced it had to be Yao Xi. With such a lifelike portrait to guide them, how could they possibly have the wrong person?
After crossing the stream, Wan Bi happened to run into Princess Longyi, who was returning from parts unknown.
“Longyi pays her respects to the Empress Dowager.” Longyi stepped aside to yield the path, curtsying deeply.
Wan Bi smiled deliberately and said to Longyi, “This bereaved one must go welcome that child, Yao Xi, back to the palace, so I won’t linger with you.” She spoke with a distinct note of smugness. Hadn’t that stubborn girl Longyi stubbornly refused to reveal Yao Xi’s whereabouts, telling her to find her on her own?
Aha! She’d really gone and found her! Annoyed yet?
Savoring the look of sheer disbelief on Longyi’s face, Wan Bi added triumphantly, “There’s nothing in this world that can baffle this bereaved one!” With that, she led her people away, strutting off in triumph.
Longyi couldn’t believe it.
She had explicitly warned her cousin Sun Yan, and even if the Empress Dowager sent people to her fiefdom2, they shouldn’t have been able to find Yao Xi so easily. Besides, the timing was all wrong. Even if the Empress Dowager had dispatched searchers the moment they finished speaking, the earliest they could possibly return to the capital was tomorrow. Longyi couldn’t wrap her head around it. Feeling deeply uneasy, she remained by the roadside, waiting for the Empress Dowager and Yao Xi to return.
The chief manager of the capital branch of the Wanfu Silk House had personally taken a carriage into the palace to report to the Empress Dowager. After receiving the portrait from her yesterday, they had turned the capital upside down, scouring every inn, tavern, teahouse, and theater. This morning, they had finally located the person in the drawing.
“Where is Yao Xi?” Arriving at the outer palace gate, Wan Bi stepped down from her palanquin and questioned the kneeling manager and his men.
“Replying to Your Highness,” the manager said. “The eunuch wouldn’t admit his identity and kept trying to run, so we took it upon ourselves to tie him up.” He waved to the assistants behind him. Several men quickly climbed onto the carriage and brought down a young gentleman in a blue robe, his hands bound behind his back and his mouth gagged.
The moment the manager mentioned the person trying to escape, Wan Bi knew something was amiss. When they brought him before her, the excitement and anticipation on her face instantly vanished, replaced by a dark scowl. Who on earth was this? Where was her Yao Xi?
“How could you get it wrong even with a portrait? What use does this bereaved one have for you!” Wan Bi snapped, her disappointment flaring into anger.
The manager hastily prostrated himself to beg for mercy, feeling rather aggrieved. “We’ve never seen Eunuch Yao, Your Highness. We truly searched based on the portrait.” This blue-robed gentleman, if not identical, was at least seventy or eighty percent similar to the portrait! Not daring to argue, he quickly scrambled for an idea to redeem himself. “It was our oversight. Eunuch Yao is a eunuch, so we should’ve inspected his body. If he’s an intact man, then he’s not him; if he’s a eunuch, then we surely can’t go wrong.”
After all, good-looking eunuchs were few and far between. The manager silently gave himself a thumbs-up for his brilliant wits!
But he had thumbs-up’d the wrong thing. He should have been lighting a candle3 for himself instead.
Yao Xi was a girl. How could the Empress Dowager possibly allow anyone to inspect her body?
“You dare!” Wan Bi’s fury flared. “Just try touching a single hair on Yao Xi’s head! Keep searching according to the portrait. If you find anyone resembling Yao Xi, bring them here at this hour every day so this bereaved one can personally identify them.” Since a portrait would inevitably differ slightly from the real person, Wan Bi magnanimously forgave the manager’s blunder.
“This servant obeys your command.” The manager led his assistants away to resume their search.
On her way back, Wan Bi crossed paths with Longyi again and felt a bit sheepish. She’d just gloated to Longyi about finding Yao Xi, and now her face stung from the embarrassment. Ignoring Longyi, she swept past her and hurried back to her own palace.
Late that night in the Princess’s Mansion, Yao Xi decided to make a bed on the floor, offering the bed to the Cousin, Sun Yan.
However, Sun Yan refused Yao Xi’s kindness. “Liufang Gugu will surely search the mansion again tonight. I need to stay awake and alert, so you should get some rest early, Eunuch.”
“I slept this afternoon and I’m not tired either. Why don’t I stay up with you, Cousin?” Yao Xi offered politely. She didn’t have the face to leave the Cousin keeping watch alone while she slept soundly without a care in the world.
Fine words, but it wasn’t long before a well-fed Yao Xi began to doze off. She just sat in her chair, her head drooping as she drifted off. Sun Yan, who was passing the long night with a book, glanced at Yao Xi, closed the volume, and hauled her back onto the bed. Tossing a blanket over her with a casual toss, she sat back down at the table and picked up her book once more.
Sun Yan hadn’t guessed wrong. Late in the night, Liufang Gugu led her attendants to search room by room again, not even sparing her chambers.
Hearing footsteps, Sun Yan tossed her book aside, rushed to the bed, slipped off her outer robe, and scrambled under the covers. Lying on her side to block Yao Xi behind her, she began to feign sleep.
“Cousin,” Liufang Gugu called from outside, followed by a knock.
Sun Yan pretended to be fast asleep and made no sound. Only after Liufang Gugu had called out several more times did she yawn lazily and answer, “Yaaawn—is something the matter, Gugu? I’ve already gone to bed. If there’s anything, please wait until tomorrow.”
Liufang politely but firmly requested to search the room.
“The door is unlocked!” Sun Yan’s tone wasn’t very friendly. When Liufang Gugu entered, she pulled the blanket up to her chin, tightly shielding her body. “If you want to search, then search, Gugu! But to throw the entire mansion into such chaos over someone who’s never even set foot here is truly…” Sun Yan said, letting her words trail off.
“I’ve troubled you, Cousin,” Liufang said apologetically. Her expression turned solemn as she began her search. She searched everywhere but found no trace of Yao Xi; the only place left unsearched was the Cousin’s bed… “I wonder if it’d be convenient for you to rise, Cousin?”
“What? You even want to search my bed? Does Gugu suspect that Eunuch Yao’s in my bed?” Sun Yan remained on her side, doing her best to shield Yao Xi, who was sleeping soundly beneath the covers.
Liufang hastily claimed she wouldn’t dare.
“With the Empress Dowager backing you, Gugu, what wouldn’t you dare? But after a whole day of this, enough is enough. It’s the middle of the night and I want to sleep. Please leave.” Sun Yan closed her eyes, no longer paying any attention to Liufang Gugu. Only after the footsteps receded and she heard the door click shut did Sun Yan slowly open her eyes.
She got out of bed, threw on her robe, and pulled back the blanket. Despite such a loud commotion, Yao Xi hadn’t been woken at all, still sleeping as if all were at peace in the world.
Being able to eat was a blessing, and being able to sleep was a blessing too. Eunuch Yao was truly a blessed soul!
After breakfast the next morning, Liufang led her people back to the palace to report. The Cousin had been highly cooperative, allowing her to search the mansion twice. Since she hadn’t found Yao Xi, she couldn’t justify delaying any longer. Perhaps Yao Xi really wasn’t there.
Once Liufang departed, the Cousin also ordered her servants to pack up, preparing to send Yao Xi back to the palace after lunch.
“We’re waiting until after lunch?” Yao Xi was anxious to return to the palace as soon as possible. Liufang Gugu had mentioned that the Empress Dowager had grown haggard because of her, so she needed to hurry back and serve her.
While instructing her servants to prepare the luggage, the Cousin explained, “There’s only one road leading out of here, and it’d be hard to explain if we ran into Liufang Gugu along the way. Don’t worry, Eunuch. Once we’re past that stretch of road, I’ll take you on a shortcut. We’ll travel through the night, and I guarantee we’ll reach the palace by tomorrow morning.”
Hearing the Cousin’s words, Yao Xi felt much more at ease, and after eating a hearty lunch, she set off.
The manager of the Wanfu Silk House strictly executed the Empress Dowager’s principle of casting a wide net, seizing any young gentleman who bore even a two-tenths resemblance to Eunuch Yao’s portrait. Abducting innocent young men for no reason was bound to invite trouble with the law. Fortunately, the Empress Dowager had personally issued a decree to the local authorities, so the manager was able to operate without hindrance.
After all, once the Empress Dowager had inspected them, anyone who wasn’t Eunuch Yao would be sent safely back home. It wasn’t as if they were actually committing crimes.
However, Wan Bi’s actions stirred up a fresh wave of rumors. Rumors began to spread in the streets that the Empress Dowager was commanding people to seek out handsome young men and drag them into the palace as male favorites4. As for those who were captured and released, word was they simply hadn’t caught the Empress Dowager’s eye.
Thus, on top of her reputation for innate cruelty, the Demon Empress earned a new label of unbridled licentiousness. The shocking news that she was forcefully seizing handsome men spread like wildfire. Overnight, any young man who considered himself to possess even a two-tenths share of good looks dared not step out of his house.
Of course, there were also those willing to sell their looks for wealth and status. They dressed up in flamboyant, eye-catching outfits, hoping to become a subject under the Empress Dowager’s skirt. Unfortunately, though they strutted and swayed their hips all over the streets, not a single one of them was seized and taken to the palace.
Yao Xi and her companions hurried through the night, actually reaching the capital just as dawn was breaking.
“The Cousin’s truly as good as her word!” Yao Xi leaned out of the carriage window, watching the capital in the morning light with joy written all over her face. She’d soon see the Empress Dowager.
“Once you’re back in the palace, if the Empress Dowager asks where you’ve been these past few days, how do you plan to answer, Eunuch?” The Cousin also lifted the carriage curtain, looking at the increasingly bustling capital as she asked Yao Xi.
She certainly couldn’t involve the Cousin. If she honestly explained that Princess Longyi had kindly sent her out of the palace, the Empress Dowager probably wouldn’t make things too difficult for Her Highness. After some thought, Yao Xi said, “I’ll say that after Princess Longyi sent me out of the palace, I stayed in the suburbs of the capital for two days. Rest assured, Cousin, I won’t mention your estate at all.” She couldn’t lie and say she had escaped the palace on her own, or Her Highness would hate her. If she said that, Her Highness would surely ask her: Since you left, what did you come back for?
Besides, since Liufang Gugu had searched all the way to Princess Longyi’s fiefdom, the Empress Dowager must already know something. Telling her this wouldn’t count as deceiving her, since Princess Longyi’s fiefdom is indeed in the southern capital region.
“Thank you, Eunuch.” The Cousin expressed her gratitude. Yao Xi was truly repaying grievance with virtue5; her elder female cousin6 Longyi had indeed acted rashly in this matter. Whether the Empress Dowager would pursue the issue depended entirely on her mood. Since the safety of so many people in the mansion was at stake, she really didn’t dare take any chances, and could only shamelessly ask Yao Xi to help cover for them.
“You’re too polite, Cousin,” Yao Xi replied, feeling embarrassed. “Princess Longyi clearly had good intentions, yet I have to complain about her before the Empress Dowager… Besides, if it weren’t for you, Cousin, my little life would’ve been gone yesterday morning.”
“If we hadn’t sent you out of the palace, none of these dangerous things would’ve happened in the first place.” Sun Yan felt even more embarrassed. “There’s still some distance to the palace gates. Why don’t we find a breakfast stall to fill our bellies before we continue?”
“Mm-hmm.” After traveling all night, Yao Xi was indeed hungry.
Steam billowed from the breakfast stall. Sun Yan ordered two steamers of buns and a few bowls of meat soup. Beckoning Yao Xi, she said, “Be careful, it’s hot. It’s still early, so we’re in no rush. Let’s eat slowly.”
“Enjoy your meal, guests,” the landlady of the breakfast stall said as she brought the food. She couldn’t help but steal a glance at Yao Xi and Sun Yan. What a handsome young gentleman and pretty young lady—they truly made a perfect match. She kindly asked Yao Xi, “It looks like you’ve just arrived in the capital this morning, Young Master?”
Yao Xi smiled politely and nodded.
“No wonder. It’s best for you not to show your face in public, Young Master…” The landlady looked around and lowered her voice. “Since you’ve just arrived, you wouldn’t know, but over the last two days, the Empress Dowager’s been rounding up handsome young men to take into the palace as male favorites! With your looks, Young Master, tsk-tsk, you’re in grave danger!”
Yao Xi, who was drinking her soup, almost choked. What? The Empress Dowager was searching everywhere for handsome men to be her male favorites?
She didn’t believe it! Liufang Gugu had clearly said Her Highness was unable to eat or drink because of her.
“I’m finished,” Yao Xi said. For the first time since she’d been separated from the Empress Dowager, she completely lost her appetite. She’d only taken two sips of soup and hadn’t touched a single bun.
The Cousin gave Yao Xi a sympathetic look. Since ancient times, rulers had always been fickle in their affections, and the Empress Dowager was no exception.
After traveling for a while longer, the carriage came to a halt at the outer palace gate. Before getting off, Yao Xi said to Sun Yan, “It’s best if we enter the palace separately. I’ll head to the Bureau of Imperial Gardens7 yamen and wait for them to come out to receive cargo, then have them bring me in. What about you, Cousin?”
Sun Yan pulled out Longyi’s token from her waist and waved it. “I’ve got this. Do I need to escort you there?” She didn’t know if the Bureau of Imperial Gardens was far or if it would be inconvenient for Yao Xi to walk.
“No need. It’s just around the corner, a short walk.” Yao Xi hopped off the carriage with a smile. She was about to detour to the side gate when she saw a massive crowd gathered at the outer palace gate. Driven by curiosity, she walked over, only to witness a heartbreaking scene.
The Empress Dowager was seated on her palanquin at the palace gate, with a crowd of various young gentlemen standing before her. These men were of different heights and wore various kinds of clothing, but they shared one miraculous common trait—they were all incredibly handsome.
Yao Xi recalled the rumors she had heard at the breakfast stall. The kind landlady had told her that the Empress Dowager was scouting for male favorites and warned her not to show her face. It was all true!
Her Highness was sending Liufang Gugu to look for her on one hand, while simultaneously conducting a large-scale search for a new love on the other. Was she really trying to have it both ways?
Clutching her aching chest, Yao Xi angrily stepped into the back of the line of handsome men, waiting to be inspected by the Empress Dowager.
Wan Bi felt everyone’s eyes must be broken. Of all the people they’d brought, not a single one resembled Yao Xi. Resting her chin on her hand, she looked at the long queue before her and said coldly, “No. Next. No. Next…”
She had already looked at more than a dozen men and was thoroughly exhausted. Just as she was about to order her attendants to turn her carriage back to the palace, a familiar figure appeared before her. Wan Bi blinked in disbelief. After confirming she hadn’t mistaken the person, she slowly stood up and walked over.
The world instantly fell silent. All the chaotic rabble seemed to disappear, leaving only Yao Xi standing there, gazing back at her.
But why didn’t the girl look happy to see her at all? Wan Bi didn’t care to ask where Yao Xi had been or how she had returned. She simply stepped forward and pulled the girl tightly into her arms. Resting her chin on the crown of Yao Xi’s head, her eyes turned red, and she held her in silence for a long, long time.
As long as she’d returned safe and sound, nothing else mattered.
Footnotes
- A traditional Chinese sedan chair (jiàozi) borne on poles by two or more carriers, used as a primary mode of transport within the imperial palace for high-ranking nobility.
- An imperial territory (fēngdì) granted to members of the royal family. Longyi's fiefdom is located in the southern outskirts of the capital region.
- To 'light a candle' (diǎn là) is modern Chinese internet slang used to express sympathy, condolences, or pity for someone facing a terrible fate, equivalent to 'press F to pay respects.'
- A traditional term (nánchǒng) for a favored male lover or concubine in the imperial court, often enjoying significant social privilege.
- A traditional Chinese idiom (yǐ dé bào yuàn) meaning to return good for evil, or to show magnanimity in response to a slight or harm.
- An elder female cousin (biǎojiě) on the maternal side of a family, commonly used to address older female cousins of equivalent generation.
- An imperial agency (Sīyuán Jú) responsible for managing the palace landscaping, manual labor, gardening, and plant cultivation in the capital.
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