Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 53
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Wan Bi wanted to be alone for some peace and quiet. That little castrated donkey kept swaying before her eyes, throwing her heart into a chaotic mess. She ordered Yao Xi not to serve her today, telling him to come back early tomorrow morning instead. After giving the order, she sent him out.
“Your Majesty, it is time for the evening meal,” a palace maid reminded her.
Wan Bi had no appetite. She sat on the low couch. On the small table before her rested the pale yellow bird Yao Xi had given her. The little bird chirped and chatteredβjust as noisy as Yao Xi. It gave her a headache, yet looking at its endearing appearance, she could not bring herself to get angry.
“Feed this bird something to eat.” Wan Bi gave the order but then changed her mind. “Bring some water and grain.” She wanted to feed it herself.
The palace maid followed her instructions, bringing a cup of water and a small dish of crushed millet.
A feeding trough hung inside the birdcage. Wan Bi slipped off one of her gold nail guards1, scooped up some millet, and poured it through the cage bars into the bronze trough.
The little bird immediately stopped calling. It fluttered its wings, flew to the trough, and began to peck at the food, happily alternating between a mouthful of water and a mouthful of millet.
“Even the way you eat is exactly the same.” Wan Bi gazed at the bird and smiled. She remembered the day Yao Xi had tested her meal for poison, completely disregarding his own life to devour all the dishes. In his past life, he must have been the reincarnation of a starved ghostβso gluttonous he didn’t even care about his life.
Her smile gradually froze on her face. Wan Bi suddenly realized she was thinking about Yao Xi again, and that she smiled at the mere thought of himβ¦ The person wasn’t even in front of her anymore, yet her condition didn’t seem to be improving.
“Take this bird and hang it outside.” It must be because she was looking at the thing Yao Xi had given her that she thought of him. Wan Bi rose from the couch, and a nearby palace maid quickly stepped forward to support her.
“Is Your Majesty going to dine now?” The palace maid was rather nervous; Her Majesty’s temper was a bit volatile today. In the past, it was Gugu Yuanqian who served Her Majesty closely. If anything happened, the gugu would shield them, so they weren’t afraid. Today, Gugu Yuanqian was absent, and Yao Xi, who had just won Her Majesty’s favour, was also absent. No matter how great Her Majesty’s fury was, they would have to bear the brunt of it alone.
Wan Bi was a little hungry, but she still had no appetite. “Support this bereaved one for a walk in the gardens. I need some fresh air.” The room was suffocatingly stuffy. Wan Bi wanted to go out and let the cold wind clear her mind.
Yao Xi was thrilled after leaving the Empress Dowager’s side. When serving masters in the palace, unless one officially requested leave, one had to endure and carry out their dutiesβeven if they were sickβas long as they could still move.
Today, Her Majesty didn’t require her service. It was only evening, with at least one or two shichen2 left before nightfall. Having had her storybooks confiscated by the Empress Dowager, Yao Xi figured she had nothing to do back in her room. So, she sought out Princess Longyi, planning to accompany Her Highness for some wine and a chat.
Earlier, when she had delivered the wine to the Eldest Princess, Her Highness had already shown an intention to keep her there to taste that pot of wine together. Unfortunately, she had been in a rush to return and serve the Empress Dowager. Not only did she dare not delay, but she had also been terrified that getting drunk would bungle her duties.
Things were different now. She didn’t have to report for duty to Her Majesty until tomorrow. This was the perfect time to head to Princess Longyi’s place to drink and chat. Even if she got drunk, it was only a short walk back to the duty room to sleep it off.
“Princess, Eunuch Yao from the Empress Dowager’s side has come again.” The palace maid couldn’t help but laugh out loud. This Eunuch Yao ran to the Eldest Princess’s palace even more diligently than he did for the Empress Dowager. Anyone who didn’t know better would think he was a servant belonging to Her Highness.
Longyi smiled as well. That little eunuch Yao Xi truly was adorable. Because she had interceded for him with Wan Bi, Yao Xi was endlessly grateful to her and was always bringing her gifts of thanks.
Regarding that matter, Longyi actually felt guilty toward Yao Xi. On that day, she had drunk a little too much wine at the Moon-Gazing Pavilion and, on an impulse, led Yao Xi to Ning’an Palace, wanting to explain things and plead for him.
Thinking back on it now, given her relationship with Wan Bi, that trip seemed less like pleading for leniency and more like twisting the knife. Fortunately, her ‘assistance’ hadn’t gotten Yao Xi killed. It was also because of this guilt that she was exceptionally generous when rewarding Yao Xi.
“Quickly, invite him in.” Longyi was just feeling bored.
Jingling Palace was gone, and Ning’an Palace was gone too. Longyi no longer needed to go to the Moon-Gazing Pavilion. The palaces of the two women she loved and hated had both been reduced to ashes overnight.
There was no need to visit the Moon-Gazing Pavilion anymore, but the habit of drinking at night that Longyi had cultivated over the past year or so couldn’t be changed overnight. She had someone on her mind, and without drinking, she simply couldn’t sleep. Right now, the person she was thinking about was keeping her Imperial Brother company in Qianqing Palace. Longyi was so worried she couldn’t sleep even more.
Yao Xi’s arrival was perfectly timed. He could drink and chat with her. Furthermore, Yao Xi bore some resemblance to Noble Lady Lan; having his company would not only relieve her boredom but also ease her lovesickness.
“Go tell the kitchen to prepare some snacks to go with the wine.” Longyi sat before the stone table in the courtyard, ordering the servants to clear away the partially eaten dishes in front of her. There was no logic in using leftover food to entertain a guest.
Carrying a lantern, Yao Xi followed the palace maid around the corner into Princess Longyi’s courtyard. Several lanterns were lit in the yard, casting a bright glow. Princess Longyi sat amid that radiant light, impossibly beautiful.
“This slave greets the Eldest Princess.” Yao Xi happily stepped forward and bowed, showing not the slightest hint of restraint.
“Take a seat!” Seeing Yao Xi so cheerful, Longyi unconsciously broke into a smile. “How do you have the free time to come over? Don’t you need to serve the Empress Dowager?”
“Mhm. Her Majesty seems to be in a rather bad mood and didn’t want this slave to serve her,” Yao Xi said, accepting the wine Princess Longyi handed her with both hands.
Longyi’s eyes lit up. “Oh? She’s in a bad mood. What happened?” Longyi smiled wickedly, her face practically screaming, Tell this palace all about Wan Bi’s embarrassments so I can rejoice in her misfortune.
Yao Xi shook her head. “When this slave went back from your place, Her Majesty was already angry.”
Hearing that Wan Bi was unhappy made Longyi even happier. She raised her cup to Yao Xi. “A toast? The kitchen is still making the food, so we’ll just drink it on its own for now.”
“A toast!” Yao Xi lifted her cup and drained it in one gulp. “Gahβ” Yao Xi felt that the Eldest Princess’s wine wasn’t as good as what she had tasted the last two times. After swallowing, it was bland in her mouth, lacking any fragrance. She stealthily peeked at the small clay pot of wine on the side, and her face instantly turned red.
This was the bottle of wine she had gifted to Her Highness.
Indeed, you get what you pay for. Logically speaking, a small bottle of wine that cost three taels of silver wasn’t cheap, but the recipient of her gift was the Eldest Princess, who lived in the lap of luxury and had tasted countless fine wines. Her own tongue had been spoiled by the exquisite wines of Her Highness and the Empress Dowager; that was why she found this wine unpalatable.
Yao Xi sat to the side, burning with severe embarrassment, yet Longyi drank the wine as if nothing were amiss. After finishing it, she poured herself another cup and urged Yao Xi, “Eunuch, pour yourself a drink if you want one. You mustn’t stand on ceremony.”
Yao Xi hurriedly poured herself a cup, and then another, and another. Before the food even arrived, she had polished off that entire bottle of wine. It seemed alcohol tolerance really was something you could build up. Ever since drinking that bowl of fiery liquor from the Empress Dowager, drinking these weak watery wines didn’t go to her head at all.
“You gave this wine to this palace, but it seems you’ve drunk it all yourself,” Longyi said to Yao Xi with a smile, before calling a palace maid to fetch more wine.
Yao Xi smiled sheepishly. She truly couldn’t bear to let the Eldest Princess drink such poor-quality wine. If she had known, she would have bought something more expensive. She had really let down the gold nuggets Her Highness had rewarded her with!
Soon the food arrived, and the two of them drank, chatting and laughing. Suddenly, a palace maid came over and announced, “Princess, Noble Lady Lan is here.” The maid almost wanted to say: Noble Lady Lan is here again.
Noble Lady Lan had come by in the afternoon. Not long after Noble Lady Lan left, Eunuch Yao arrived. Now, Eunuch Yao still hadn’t left, and Noble Lady Lan was back. The Eldest Princess’s place was truly lively today.
“Ah? Please invite her in.” Longyi’s mood improved even further. If Noble Lady Lan could come over from Qianqing Palace this late, it meant her Imperial Brother was sleeping in some other woman’s palace. “Bring another cup.”
Because the Second Prince, Feng Xin, had fallen ill, the Emperor had gone to the Empress’s palace late in the night. Unable to sleep, Yao Shuanglan decided to come over and talk with Longyi. When she entered the courtyard, she saw Longyi drinking merrily with a little eunuch. Approaching closer, she realized that the eunuch was none other than her brother, Yao Xianβoh, he was called Yao Xi now.
“Eunuch Yao?” Yao Shuanglan sat down between the two. Without even bothering to greet Longyi first, she called out to Yao Xi.
Yao Xi immediately stood up and said, “This slave greets the Noble Lady.”
“You two know each other?” Instantly left out in the cold, Longyi tried her best to reclaim some presence in the scene.
“Replying to the Princess, this slave had the fortune of meeting the Noble Lady once when accompanying the Empress Dowager to Qianqing Palace.” Yao Xi hadn’t expected Noble Lady Lan and Princess Longyi to be so well-acquainted.
It really was true that birds of a feather flock together. Good-natured people naturally made friends with other good-natured people. There weren’t many people in the palace as amiable as these two masters; it was inevitable that they would deeply appreciate each other in such an environment. As for the Empress Dowager, it was no surprise she had no friends. There was probably no second person in the world with a temper like hers.
The three-person drinking gathering was a little awkward.
Yao Shuanglan wanted to speak with her brother, but hindered by Longyi’s presence, she couldn’t say anything.
Longyi wanted to speak with Noble Lady Lan, but hindered by Yao Xi’s presence, she couldn’t say anything either.
Only Yao Xi was mindlessly drinking and eating, even giving a thumbs-up from time to time to praise, “The cooking skills of the chef in Your Majesty’s palace are truly excellent!”
“Your Majesty?” Longyi thought she had misheard.
“This slave meant the cooking skills of the chef in Her Highness the Princess’s palace are truly excellent,” Yao Xi hastily corrected. She was still in the mindset of serving by the Empress Dowager’s side, where every other word out of her mouth was ‘Your Majesty’.
Yao Shuanglan’s mind wasn’t on the food and wine. She stared at her brother continuously, anxiously wondering when the two siblings would finally be able to exchange a few words and pour out the bitter helplessness of their respective past experiences!
Longyi’s mind wasn’t on the food and wine either. She stared at Noble Lady Lan continuously. But the other woman was actually staring at the little eunuch Yao Xi the entire time! Not only was her gaze incomparably affectionate, but her eyes even seemed to be shimmering with tears???
Could Noble Lady Lan have fallen for Yao Xi? Longyi felt as though she could hear the sound of her own heart breaking. She had always thought that Noble Lady Lan loved her, but was simply forced by reality into not daring to show it. However, it seemed that wasn’t the caseβ¦ Noble Lady Lan had rejected her Imperial Brother because she didn’t like him, but that didn’t necessarily mean she liked her, either.
While her thoughts were running wild, Noble Lady Lan’s gaze remained tightly glued to Yao Xi.
Yao Xi was right in the middle of drinking. When her gaze flicked to the side and she saw the Noble Lady staring at her with rapt attention, she was so startled she choked. What she choked on was alcohol, which was far worse than choking on water. Her small face flushed bright red, and she coughed so hard she could barely catch her breath.
Seeing her brother choking so severely, Yao Shuanglan threw caution to the wind. After all, only Longyi was here, and Longyi wouldn’t harm her. Just like when they were at home, she gently patted her brother’s back. Once he had caught his breath, she pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the corners of his mouth clean.
Longyi was utterly dumbfounded by the scene unfolding before her eyes.
Yao Xi was also so terrified she didn’t dare move. Noble Lady Lan’s hand was still on her back, and the fragrance of Noble Lady Lan’s handkerchief lingered at the tip of her nose.
“Eunuch, go back first. This palace has words to ask the Noble Lady!” Longyi was so angry she gripped the wine cup tightly in her hand. She wanted to ask Noble Lady Lan if she had truly lost her mind and caught feelings for a eunuch, or if she was doing this on purpose to anger her and make her give up hope.
Yao Xi hastily stood up and fled. The Emperor’s woman was wiping the mouth and patting the back of a eunuch? If the Emperor found out, she would lose her life!
Yao Shuanglan wanted to chase after him to take the opportunity to reunite with her brother, so she made an excuse: “This subject-concubine should head back as well. Your Highness need not see me out.” After saying that, she hurriedly followed after him.
If she missed this chance, it would be difficult to find another time to speak with her brother. He spent all day serving the Empress Dowager; even if they ran into each other, they wouldn’t dare say anything.
There weren’t many servants in Longyi Palace to begin with. With the night being so deep, chatting with her brother as they walked wouldn’t arouse suspicion. If anyone asked, she would simply say that she had drunk some wine at Princess Longyi’s place, and since her own attending servants were all waiting at the palace gates, she had asked Eunuch Yao to escort her out.
Having drunk too much wine, Yao Xi felt a wave of dizziness after her frantic sprint. She leaned against the spirit screen3, deciding to wait until her head stopped spinning before moving on.
Just as she was catching her breath, Noble Lady Lan somehow emerged as well. Reaching out to affectionately grasp her shoulder, she called out, “Didi!”
Footnotes
- JΔ«n hΓΉjiΗ, ornate metallic nail guards worn by elite imperial women to protect their long fingernails, serving as a symbol of their status and exemption from manual labour.
- A traditional Chinese unit of time (shΓchΓ©n), equivalent to two hours.
- YΗngbΓ¬, a traditional Chinese 'spirit screen' or 'shadow wall' placed just inside the gate of a courtyard. It serves to block line-of-sight from the outside, ensuring privacy, and is traditionally believed to block malicious spirits.
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