Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 54
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Didi? What was happening?
Yao Xi didn’t dare answer recklessly. She never forgot that she had entered the palace as a substitute for that young eunuch with the surname Yao.
The little eunuch was a Yao, and Noble Lady Lan was also a Yao? Could they be brother and sister?
But she had only taken his identity. If Noble Lady Lan was really that eunuch’s sister, how could she mistake someone else for her own brother? It couldn’t be that she and that eunuch looked exactly alike, could it?
Yao Xi remembered what had happened when she first entered the palace. Liufu had spent so much silver to buy her—it must have been because she bore some resemblance to that eunuch. Why else would he have insisted on buying her as a replacement? Couldn’t he have just grabbed anyone off the street?
She then recalled Noble Lady Lan’s questions and the look in her eyes back in Qianqing Palace… It seemed she really had mistaken her for her own brother.
A shame, then, that the little eunuch was probably no longer of this world.
Yao Xi gazed quietly at Noble Lady Lan, a pang of sympathy rising in her heart. She couldn’t tell her that her real brother had likely met with a terrible fate. The person standing before her might share a slight resemblance to Young Master Yao, but she was not the noble lady’s brother.
She didn’t dare say she wasn’t him—if she wasn’t Yao Xi, then who was she? Sun Xibao? Nor did she dare say she was him. She knew nothing about Noble Lady Lan or her ill-fated brother. One slip-up, and her cover would be blown. A fake was a fake; it could never become real.
Fortunately, she only needed to maintain this awkward identity for less than a month. Once the Dragon Boat Festival passed and she had saved enough silver, she would leave the palace no matter what. Noble Lady Lan’s appearance made the possibility of her female identity being exposed even greater. And worst of all, if Noble Lady Lan came to believe she was connected to what happened to Young Master Yao… with the Emperor’s doting favor, wouldn’t killing her to avenge a brother be as easy as child’s play?
She had been brought into the palace in a complete daze. Though she had known from the start that the matter was far too fishy to be simple, she still didn’t understand the whirlpool she was caught in. She knew little more than Noble Lady Lan did.
“Didi, how did you end up in the palace?” Seeing the person before her staring at her with such sorrow, Yao Shuanglan was certain she hadn’t made a mistake. The last tiny flicker of doubt in her mind was instantly extinguished.
Yao Xi had no idea how to answer. She knew how she had gotten into the palace, but how was she supposed to know how Noble Lady Lan’s brother had?
“Someone drugged me. When I woke up, I was in the palace.” The answer was a cure-all1 for feigning ignorance.
Yao Shuanglan felt her own question had been foolish. Of course her brother had been harmed and forced into the palace. “Do you know who did this to you?” Their father had been an upright official, punishing the corrupt and vanquishing evil. He had made many enemies over the years. Any number of people could be the culprit behind the Yao family’s downfall.
Yao Xi shook her head. What could she do but play dumb? All she wanted was to end this conversation as quickly as possible. If they kept talking, her cover could be blown at any moment. “I have to get back…” Yao Xi pointed in the direction of the Empress Dowager’s residence.
“Yes, yes.” Yao Shuanglan wiped at her tears. “Jiejie isn’t by your side, so you must protect yourself. Keep your identity hidden until the Yao family is exonerated. Jiejie will find a way to get you out of the palace. We will get through this. As for the revenge for what was done to you, jiejie will one day see it done.” She stepped forward and hugged her brother tightly, burying her head in his shoulder and sobbing with grief.
Yao Xi was at a loss, her hands hovering awkwardly. Noble Lady Lan was crying so heartbrokenly that she couldn’t bear to push her away.
Did she just hear Noble Lady Lan say she’d get her out of the palace? My lady! I’ve decided you are my jiejie!
“Don’t worry, jiejie, I know what I’m doing.” She hesitantly raised a hand, wondering if she should pat the weeping noble lady on the back to comfort her. After a moment’s thought, she let her hand fall.
She didn’t know if gaining a noble lady for a sister out of thin air was a blessing or a curse. But since she couldn’t deny it, she might as well accept it. If you’re going to put on a show, you have to go all the way. Since she couldn’t go back to being Sun Xibao, she might as well do a good job of being Yao Xi. At least until she left the palace. On the day of her departure, she would tell the poor, kind Noble Lady Lan the truth.
Hearing her brother call her ‘jiejie’ again after so many years, Yao Shuanglan nearly broke down completely. “You’ve really grown up. You’re like a man now, you don’t cry and sniffle anymore.”
Noble Lady Lan’s words made Yao Xi realize something. In a tragic scene like a sibling reunion, with Noble Lady Lan crying so pitifully, shouldn’t she also squeeze out a few tears to enhance the atmosphere? But her eyes were bone dry; she really couldn’t cry. Maybe she could just wail a bit? It was dark, so the noble lady wouldn’t be able to see if she was actually shedding tears anyway.
Forget it. Better not overdo it. If she faked her crying, Noble Lady Lan would only try to comfort her, and if they were delayed any longer and someone saw them, it would be bad.
Yao Shuanglan didn’t dare speak with her brother for too long, lest it attract unnecessary trouble. “You should hurry back. We’ll talk again when we have the chance.” She clutched his arm, reluctant to let go. “If you run into any trouble, tell jiejie in private. You’ve suffered more than enough. From now on, leave things to jiejie.”
Yao Xi nodded, her eyes red. Before she transmigrated, she had been an only child, and her father had been one too. She didn’t even have any cousins, let alone real siblings. After coming here, she had ended up with an inhuman monster like Sun Ergou for a brother, one who only wanted to sell his sister for money. Only now did she understand what it felt like to have a sister who cared for you.
It was just a pity that Noble Lady Lan wasn’t her sister. She belonged to the deceased Young Master Yao.
Yao Xi’s heart truly ached for Noble Lady Lan. Judging by her character, the Yao family must all be good, kind-hearted people. She just didn’t understand why good people suffered so many hardships. Not only was Young Master Yao forced into the palace as a eunuch, but he had met with disaster. Noble Lady Lan had been sent to the Cold Palace and had only just gotten out. She wondered if their parents were still alive. She needed to have someone look into Noble Lady Lan’s background; otherwise, this fake brother act would be exposed too easily.
Wan Bi raised a hand, signaling the palace maids following her to halt.
She had been strolling aimlessly and had somehow crossed the small creek into Longyi’s territory. As she passed through a covered walkway and into Longyi’s outer courtyard, she saw a woman and a person dressed as a eunuch hugging near the screen wall2. Her mood, already gloomy, soured further at the sight of such a shameless spectacle.
It wasn’t as though eunuchs and palace maids were forbidden from forming duishi partnerships, but if they were going to hug and hold each other, they should do it in their own rooms. What sort of behavior was this in public?
If Longyi couldn’t manage the people in her own palace, she would help her out. Wan Bi started walking toward the screen wall, intending to make an example of this shameless pair and set some rules. But as she drew closer, her steps suddenly slowed. That woman wasn’t a palace maid at all. It was none other than that Noble Lady Lan who had the Emperor so bewitched.
Hahahahahahahaha!!!
You shameless little vixen, this bereaved one has caught you red-handed!
If she weren’t afraid of startling the snake by beating the grass3, Wan Bi would have thrown her head back and roared with laughter. She had thought this Noble Lady Lan, with her schemes and the Emperor’s favor, might become a rival who could threaten her position. She hadn’t expected this rival to fall before she even had a firm footing!
This insatiable little vixen, Noble Lady Lan. After her failed attempt at batting her eyes and seducing her little castrated donkey, she had immediately hooked up with a little eunuch from Longyi Palace. Back in the Cold Palace, the woman had seemed so cool and detached. Who knew she was so restless? And not just restless, but possessed of a unique taste for eunuchs. It seemed she had no interest at all in a whole man like the Emperor.
Wan Bi stopped, watching the show from the cover of a banana tree grove. She wanted to see what other shameless things this Noble Lady Lan would do. After watching for a while, she started to feel a bit sorry for the little eunuch. Though his back was to her, she could clearly see that his hands remained hanging at his sides, never once touching Noble Lady Lan.
It was Noble Lady Lan who was truly shameless, hugging the eunuch so tightly in her thirst that she was practically strangling him.
Soon, the two broke their embrace. Wan Bi didn’t go over. She decided that tomorrow, she would take that eunuch to Qianqing Palace and give Noble Lady Lan a nasty surprise in front of the Emperor.
Watch this bereaved one destroy you, you little vixen! Wan Bi covered her mouth with a handkerchief, stifling a giggle.
After they separated, Noble Lady Lan stood in place, watching the eunuch leave with a look of longing. The eunuch, however, ran off without a hint of reluctance, as if he were fleeing a disaster.
Wan Bi was amused all over again. So it was a one-sided affair. She couldn’t help but sigh internally once more: Truly shameless. The Emperor’s taste in women is as terrible as ever!
“Go, capture that eunuch and bring him back to my palace. This bereaved one must properly interrogate Noble Lady Lan’s little lover,” Wan Bi whispered. Her mood finally lifted, she turned and headed back.
Yao Shuanglan was still standing in the same spot. Her eyes were red from crying, so she couldn’t go back just yet. If the Emperor returned from the Empress’s palace and saw that she had been crying, he would ask questions.
“Haven’t you had your fill of watching?” Longyi’s cold sneer came from nearby as she walked over.
After Noble Lady Lan had followed Yao Xi out, she had followed as well. She had watched from a distance as the two of them spoke by the screen wall. At first, she thought Noble Lady Lan was deliberately trying to anger her, wiping Yao Xi’s mouth and patting his back right in front of her. She never imagined that when she wasn’t there, the two would actually embrace. And it was Noble Lady Lan who initiated it; Yao Xi hadn’t responded to her at all.
“I…” Noble Lady Lan turned to see Longyi trembling with rage and knew she had misunderstood. She trusted Longyi and was willing to explain, but before a word could leave her lips, Longyi had pressed her against the screen wall and kissed her.
“Mmph~” Yao Shuanglan’s eyes flew wide with shock.
Before she could even process what madness had seized Longyi, Longyi’s hand was already gripping her chin, her tongue, tinged with the faint taste of wine, easily slipping past her slightly parted lips. Longyi’s other arm wrapped around her waist, their bodies pressed tightly together, the heat from each other’s skin palpable even through their clothes.
“You’re insane!” Yao Shuanglan roared in a low voice, shoving Longyi away and staring at her in disbelief.
“You’re the one who’s insane!” Longyi was seething, but for Noble Lady Lan’s safety, she did her best to keep her voice down. “Seducing a eunuch? How could you? Do you have any idea what would happen if someone saw you with him like that…” Longyi recalled the image of them embracing, and tears streamed down her face against her will. She took a deep breath before continuing. “Imperial Brother will kill you!”
“And if the Emperor saw us like this, would he spare me?” Yao Shuanglan felt that Longyi was either drunk out of her mind or using the wine as an excuse to act mad. Smelling the alcohol on Longyi, she suddenly didn’t dare to reveal that Yao Xi was actually her brother. She trusted Longyi, but she didn’t trust a drunk Longyi. Once she had sent her brother out of the palace, once the injustice against the Yao family was cleared, she would explain everything to Longyi.
“My affairs are none of your concern,” Yao Shuanglan said, turning to leave. That was close, she thought. When Longyi kissed her, she had been so mesmerized she had almost closed her eyes and responded.
Footnotes
- Wànjīnyóu (万金油), literally '10,000-gold oil,' refers to Tiger Balm or similar balms. In modern slang, it means a panacea or a universally applicable, catch-all solution.
- Yǐngbì (影壁), also known as a spirit screen, is a traditional architectural feature in Chinese residences and palaces. It's a freestanding wall placed inside or outside the main gate to block direct views into the courtyard, for both privacy and Feng Shui purposes.
- Dǎ cǎo jīng shé (打草惊蛇), a classic Chinese idiom. Literally, 'to beat the grass and startle the snake.' It means to act rashly and prematurely, thereby alerting the enemy to your presence or intentions.
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