Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 40
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Longyi went to Wangyue Pavilion to drink again, this time bringing two palace maids to serve her.
If it weren’t for the thunderstorm, she would still have preferred to go alone. She brought attendants because she was afraid the rain would make the paths slippery, and she might take a nasty fall if she got too drunk.
Longyi gazed down upon the entire Palace City. The unlit areas were uninhabited residences; the densest, brightest cluster of lights belonged to Wan Bi’s Ning’an Palace. Ning’an Palace hadn’t been this bright until recently. The Empress, in a show of virtuousness, had cut the budgets of all the palaces, forcing everyone to be frugal. Wan Bi, however, had decided to challenge the Empress, lighting every lamp she had until Ning’an Palace was as bright as broad daylight1.
The budget cuts had only lasted two days before being restored, supposedly by the Emperor’s decree. Of course. In the end, her Imperial Brother would always side with Wan Bi.
Sometimes, Longyi truly pitied her brother, Emperor Ming Cheng. To have an Empress Dowager like Wan Bi, an Empress like Zhu-shi, and a sister like herself. The two of them were truly brother and sister—they had the exact same taste in women.
The lights of Ning’an Palace grew brighter and brighter, until they were blinding. Longyi thought she was drunk and hallucinating. She asked a nearby maid, “Help this palace look. Is something happening over at Ning’an Palace?”
The maid put down the wine pot, ran to the railing of Wangyue Pavilion, and peered toward Ning’an Palace. “Reporting to Your Highness,” she said, “it seems Ning’an Palace is on fire.”
“On fire?” With the giddy excitement of celebrating a new year, Longyi flew to the railing. Ning’an Palace was indeed on fire, and the blaze seemed to be growing. Longyi closed her eyes, clasped her hands together, and piously made a silent wish to the heavens: Oh, Heavens! I trouble your venerable self to open your eyes and let this fire burn that monster Wan Bi to death!
While Longyi was making her wish, the other maid pointed to another spot and cried out, “Your Highness, look! That place is on fire, too.”
“That is…” Longyi had no time to rejoice in another’s misfortune2. Forgetting to even wait for a maid to hold an umbrella for her, she charged into the rain and ran wildly toward Jingling Palace. Others might not have immediately recognized a fire in that direction—the Cold Palace was a perpetually forgotten corner. But she recognized it in a single glance. The place being devoured by flames was Jingling Palace, the place she gazed down upon every night from Wangyue Pavilion.
Jingling Palace was burning to the ground. The women of the Cold Palace had all fled and were now standing on the palace path, watching the great fire with blank expressions. Eunuchs and maids arrived with buckets and basins to fight the fire, but the fierce flames blocked them at the gate. The fire was simply too large, and the dilapidated, rotting state of Jingling Palace did little to inspire any enthusiasm for saving it.
When Longyi arrived, the fire was still raging. The downpour couldn’t extinguish it; in fact, the more it rained, the higher the flames leaped, as if the sky were raining oil and wine, not water.
“The Eldest Princess has arrived!”
Longyi had run over by herself without any attendants, but an old eunuch who knew the rules saw her and shouted for the crowd to step aside and bow, clearing a path for Her Highness the Princess.
Standing in the crowd, Yao Shuanglan felt a sudden pang in her heart when she heard Longyi had arrived. The fire lit up the surroundings, and the crowd had parted to form a wide path, allowing her to see Longyi clearly. She had obviously run here through the heavy rain. She was soaked from head to toe, and her shoes and the hem of her skirt were caked with mud. As she ran, she scanned the crowd where Yao Shuanglan stood, her expression fraught with anxiety.
Even from a distance, Yao Shuanglan could feel Longyi’s worry.
And she knew who that worry was for.
A palace maid hurried over with an umbrella to shield Longyi from the rain. Longyi grabbed her and asked, “Are there any dead or injured?”
The maid answered truthfully, “It’s not yet clear. This slave-girl and the others have only just arrived.”
Longyi walked without pause toward the group of women from the Cold Palace. With one look, she saw the woman in the moon-white3 dress holding a paper umbrella. She stood like a pine tree amidst the somber crowd, a beauty as sublime as an immortal, making everyone around her seem colorless. The sight of such beauty made Longyi’s heart skip a beat, but then it settled. She’s all right. That’s all that matters.
Yao Shuanglan peeked out from under the brim of her umbrella, and her gaze met Longyi’s. She saw the look of instant relief on Longyi’s face, and her heart ached again. Longyi was someone who couldn’t hide her emotions; her likes and dislikes were written all over her face. It didn’t matter who she disliked. She was the Eldest Princess, so what if it showed? It didn’t even matter if she disliked the Empress Dowager; it wasn’t as if the Empress Dowager would truly hold it against her.
But liking someone was another matter. Especially when the person she liked was her own brother’s woman—and that brother was the Emperor.
Their eyes met for a moment. Then, Yao Shuanglan, holding her umbrella, stepped out of the crowd and turned past the palace wall, waiting in an alley for Longyi to follow.
Longyi ordered the maid with the umbrella not to follow and entered the alley alone.
“Aren’t you afraid of catching a chill?” Yao Shuanglan walked up to Longyi and held the umbrella over her head, her tone tinged with reproach. “Your Highness should not have come.”
“Whether I come or not is my business!” Longyi’s words were choked with anger, her tone harsh.
Yao Shuanglan froze. She had rarely seen Longyi angry.
“You told me not to come to Jingling Palace, and I listened to you! But just now, I saw the fire was so huge, I thought something had happened to you. If you had died, would I still not be allowed to come? Do I not even have the right to collect your body?” Longyi’s emotions were running high, spiraling out of control. Perhaps it was the wine, or perhaps it was the longing she had suppressed for so long, erupting the moment she saw the person before her.
Yao Shuanglan fought back the ache in her heart, fought the urge to step forward and embrace Longyi. She maintained her usual indifferent, icy tone. “Even in death, I would be the Emperor’s woman. Of course Your Highness should not be the one to collect my body!” She had originally planned to ask Longyi to summon the Emperor if he didn’t come, but the moment she saw her, she couldn’t bear to do it. She couldn’t bear to deepen Longyi’s pain.
“My Imperial Brother has women to spare! I doubt he has time to collect Noble Lady Lan’s body!” Longyi shot back. She had clearly rushed over out of worry, yet in her anger, she kept saying things to hurt the other woman. “I remember you like cyan4. Moon-white is my Imperial Brother’s favorite color. What are you trying to achieve by dressing like this? Is life in the Cold Palace too bitter to endure? A pity you’ve wasted your efforts. Ning’an Palace is also on fire. My Imperial Brother will not be coming.”
“Your Highness is right. I cannot endure the Cold Palace any longer!” Yao Shuanglan’s eyes reddened, her voice trembling with a rare intensity. “It doesn’t matter that the Yao family was exiled to the Southern Frontier. It doesn’t matter that I was framed and sent to the Cold Palace. But something has happened to my younger brother, and I cannot stand by and do nothing! I intend to return to the Emperor’s side. And not only will I return, but I will also make sure the people who framed my father and me die without a place for burial5!”
With that, she thrust the umbrella into Longyi’s hand and returned to the crowd outside Jingling Palace.
Longyi clutched the umbrella handle where Yao Shuanglan’s hand had just been. A trace of warmth remained, but it cooled almost instantly.
Emperor Ming Cheng rushed to Ning’an Palace, having also summoned Imperial Physician Fu to the palace for the night and brought him along.
But upon entering Ning’an Palace, Emperor Ming Cheng realized he had worried for nothing.
The fire was still burning, and the maids and eunuchs of Ning’an Palace were tirelessly hauling water to fight it. Wan Bi, however, was sitting in the courtyard. Someone held an umbrella over her, another held a lantern beside her, and before her was a spread of fragrant tea and snacks. She had the leisurely air of someone watching a fire from the opposite bank6. For heaven’s sake, you little menace7, isn’t that your palace that’s burning?
“The fire is bright enough. Doesn’t the Empress Dowager find the lantern a bit redundant?” Emperor Ming Cheng walked to Wan Bi’s side. A palace maid immediately brought a chair for the Emperor, placing it next to the Empress Dowager’s. After sitting, Emperor Ming Cheng asked Wan Bi, “How did the fire start? We heard someone died? Who was it?”
Wan Bi watched the fire and sipped her tea. “An assassin took advantage of the heavy rain to sneak into Ning’an Palace. He killed several maids and eunuchs who were on guard outside the hall.”
“The Empress Dowager wasn’t injured?” Emperor Ming Cheng anxiously looked her over.
Wan Bi shook her head. “This bereaved one’s fortune is great and her fate is strong.8“
“And the assassin? Did he escape?”
Wan Bi pointed to the main hall, which was nearly burnt to cinders. “He was locked inside and burned to death.”
Seeing Wan Bi’s terrifying composure, Emperor Ming Cheng ordered Imperial Physician Fu to step forward. “We trouble the Imperial Physician to examine the Empress Dowager!” He could see that Wan Bi had no external injuries, but he couldn’t be sure about her mental state.
Emperor Ming Cheng had once actually asked Imperial Physician Fu: “Imperial physicians can treat internal ailments and external injuries, but can they treat madness?”
Imperial Physician Fu had shaken his head.
Emperor Ming Cheng had then added, trying to cover his tracks, “We were just asking casually. We weren’t referring to the Empress Dowager!”
“Replying to Your Majesty, Her Majesty the Empress Dowager is unharmed,” Imperial Physician Fu reported, withdrawing the silk cloth he had placed over Wan Bi’s wrist.
Unharmed was different from mostly unharmed. Emperor Ming Cheng was a little surprised. “The Empress Dowager wasn’t the least bit frightened? Does she not need a restorative prescription to calm her nerves?”
Imperial Physician Fu nodded with certainty. Based on his understanding of Her Majesty the Empress Dowager, if an assassin entered Ning’an Palace, the one who would be frightened was probably the assassin.
Wan Bi suddenly seemed to have something to say to Emperor Ming Cheng. She waved her hand, dismissing the surrounding attendants. “Go help with the fire. This bereaved one wishes to have a word with the Emperor.”
After everyone had withdrawn, Emperor Ming Cheng asked uneasily, “What did the Empress Dowager wish to say to Us?”
Only then did Wan Bi speak. “Before that assassin died, he claimed he was acting on the orders of Grand Secretary Yang.”
“Yang Qishang? How is that possible?”
“This bereaved one doesn’t believe it either. But we’ll know the truth once we see how Yang Qishang reacts to being accused of hiring an assassin. If the assassin was telling the truth, Yang Qishang will go into hiding to destroy the evidence. If the assassin was deliberately framing him, Yang Qishang will investigate to clear his name. Whether he investigates or hides, someone will be finding the true culprit for us.”
Emperor Ming Cheng silently gave Wan Bi a thumbs-up in his heart. That little wench is brilliant!
“Also,” Wan Bi continued, “this bereaved one will attend the morning court session tomorrow. Ning’an Palace has been attacked by an arsonist, the damages are immense, and it needs to be rebuilt. This silver is something this bereaved one must personally demand from Your Majesty. That way, the ministers can’t say anything about you. Consider the silver a loan from the National Treasury to this bereaved one. If anyone else submits a memorial asking Your Majesty for silver, you can justifiably pass the blame to me. This bereaved one is not afraid of offending people. However, I’ve stayed up late tonight, so I’ll probably be late for morning court tomorrow. Your Majesty should remember to stall for time.”
After hearing Wan Bi’s words, Emperor Ming Cheng suddenly had a bold thought. “This fire… it couldn’t be…”
Wan Bi turned her head, gave Emperor Ming Cheng a mischievous wink, and then made a hushing gesture.
While Emperor Ming Cheng and Wan Bi were talking, Tang Huaili and Yuanqian were not needed by their masters’ sides. With the other maids and eunuchs busy fighting the fire, the two were able to snatch a few words in the chaos. When Tang Huaili heard the Emperor had decided to come to Ning’an Palace, the great stone in his heart finally fell. He had been afraid something had happened to Yuanqian. If the Emperor had gone to Jingling Palace first, he would have been too worried to even do his job properly.
“Are you all right?” Tang Huaili pulled Yuanqian aside and asked in a low voice.
Yuanqian gave him a gentle smile. “I’m fine.” She added proudly, “I was the one who tied up the assassin. Impressive, wasn’t I?”
Tang Huaili secretly gave Yuanqian a thumbs-up9. “Impressive. You’re… not angry anymore?” Tang Huaili remembered that Yuanqian had been inexplicably angry with him during the day, but now that he saw her again tonight, she seemed to be fine.
“When was I ever angry?” Yuanqian said, feigning ignorance.
“Right. Never, never.” Tang Huaili smiled, too.
As the two were talking, a soaking-wet figure burst into Ning’an Palace.
Emperor Ming Cheng heard the commotion and looked toward the gate. He stared for a long time before he finally recognized the person. “Longyi? How did you get so drenched?”
Footnotes
- Báiyè (白夜), literally 'white night,' can refer to the phenomenon of a bright night sky in polar regions during summer. Here, it's used metaphorically to describe a place lit so brightly that night becomes like day.
- A Chinese idiom (xìng zāi lè huò) meaning to take pleasure in the calamity of others.
- Yuèbái (月白), or 'moon-white,' is a traditional Chinese color name for a very pale, slightly bluish-white, like the color of moonlight.
- Qīnglánsè (青蓝色) is a blue-green or cyan color. The character qīng (青) can describe a range of colors from green to blue to even black, depending on context.
- A Chinese idiom (sǐ wú zàng shēn zhī dì) for a terrible fate, meaning to die so wretchedly that there is no one to bury you.
- A Chinese idiom (gé àn guān huǒ), literally 'watching the fire from the other shore.' It means to observe a crisis from a safe distance, often with the intent to profit from it.
- Original: xiǎo zǔzong (小祖宗), literally 'little ancestor.' An exasperated but affectionate term for a high-maintenance or powerful person whom one cannot afford to offend, often someone younger.
- A common saying (fú dà mìng dà) that means to be extremely lucky or blessed, especially in surviving danger.
- Dà mǔ ge (大拇哥) is a colloquial, slightly childish term for the thumb, like 'thumbkin.'
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