Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 45
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Wan Bi walked inside while scanning the officials on both sides. The officials unanimously avoided her gaze, refusing to make eye contact. Their entire bodies radiated resistance, as if saying: Go away! Don’t come over here! If you want to chop someone, go to the other side!
The standing arrangement of the ministers during the morning court session was interesting: they were divided to the left and right. Those standing on the same side were usually of the same faction, and then arranged from front to back according to official rank. This was not surprising; people instinctively distance themselves from enemies and draw close to those they feel safe with. Enduring standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a mutually hostile person for a day or two was fine, but who would want to be pressed up against them every single day?
In the previous dynasty, civil officials stood on the left and military officials on the right. Later, after eunuchs were also permitted to attend court to discuss matters, this rule faded. Both civil and military officials were thirty percent afraid of and seventy percent disgusted by eunuchs. If they divided by civil and military, neither side would be willing to have the eunuchs stand with them. Gradually, the division became solely based on official rank, no longer distinguishing between civil ministers and military generals. As long as one’s rank was sufficient, they could stand on the left or right as they pleased.
Therefore, as soon as Wan Bi arrived, the ministers not only hoped she wouldn’t come to their side, but earnestly prayed she would go to the opposite side and start a bloodbath. Many thought to themselves: As long as it’s not me and my buddies, the Demon Empress can wash the Gate of Supreme Harmony in blood for all I care!
Emperor Ming Cheng stood up from the dragon throne and walked down to the hall to welcome Wan Bi.
He wasn’t sincerely coming to welcome her; he was guarding against her chopping someone down. “Why has the Empress Dowager come?” Emperor Ming Cheng feigned ignorance in public, first distancing himself from the crazy wench Wan Bi. His underlying meaning was: We did not know the Empress Dowager was coming. If she kills someone and sets a fire later, it has absolutely nothing to do with Us.
What? You say We were intentionally stalling for time just now to wait for the Empress Dowager? No, no, no, We were not stalling; We simply wanted to chat about domestic affairs with Our beloved ministers to bridge the gap between superior and subordinate, which is more conducive to future work!
What? You don’t believe it? Men! Daring to suspect the Son of Heaven is gross disrespectβdrag him out and chop his head off!
Emperor Ming Cheng walked to Wan Bi’s right side. His right hand firmly grasped her right hand holding the sword, and his left hand reached around her back to grab her left hand. As he supported her up the steps, he leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “Didn’t you come to ask for silver to rebuild Ning’an Palace? Why did you bring a sword?”
Wan Bi dodged away in disgust. When Emperor Ming Cheng spoke, warm breath poured into her ear, and this overly intimate sensation made her a bit nauseous. Sure enough, not being her biological son really made a difference! But why was it that when the little castrated donkey blew on her, although uncomfortable, it didn’t feel disgustingβ¦
Emperor Ming Cheng was worried to death, but Wan Bi’s mind was wandering to other things.
“Let go! This bereaved one isn’t going to kill anyone,” Wan Bi said, rolling her eyes at him.
“You promise!” Emperor Ming Cheng had already supportedβor rather, capturedβWan Bi all the way up the steps to the dragon throne, but he still didn’t dare let go. To use an inappropriate metaphor, he felt Wan Bi was currently like a crazy little dogβthe moment he let go of the leash, she might charge down and bite someone to death.
Wan Bi glared at him. This wretched childβforget about counting on him for help, all he did was ruin things. “I promise!” Wan Bi said, somewhat impatiently.
Hesitantly, Emperor Ming Cheng returned to sit on the dragon throne. He didn’t dare sit fully back, thinking that if Wan Bi really wanted to chop someone again, he would have to rush forward and pull her back immediately.
Wan Bi stood above the grand hall, resting the tip of the sword against the floor. Looking down at the officials, she declared loudly, “Yesterday, an assassin entered Ning’an Palace!”
The officialsβsome clutching each other’s arms, others hiding behind their peersβall kept their heads bowed, not daring to look at her. Hearing her say an assassin had entered Ning’an Palace yesterday, they couldn’t help but praise in their hearts: A righteous warrior! A hero! History will forever remember your magnificent feat, and future generations will erect a monument for you!
Wan Bi paused for a long time after speaking, observing everyone’s expressions. “Raise your heads for this bereaved one! If someone dares not look this bereaved one in the eye, what is it if not a guilty conscience?” With that, she struck the sword heavily against the floor. The sound of metal clashing against stone made the officials’ livers tremble with fear, and they all reluctantly raised their heads.
“This sword,” Wan Bi continued, “is a relic of the assassin who broke into Ning’an Palace yesterday.” She wanted to see who would breathe a sigh of relief at the mention of a relic. If it were the true culprit, knowing the assassin was dead would put them at ease because no one could confess their name.
“However, before the assassin died, they confessed the mastermind behind the scenes. This is also the reason this bereaved one has come to the Gate of Supreme Harmony today.” Wan Bi watched to see who would show signs of nervousness this time.
Uh! Not a single person down in the hall wasn’t nervous.
Wan Bi threw the sword down. At this, the crowd of ministers clearly breathed a collective sigh of reliefβexcept for one person! Under the successive rounds of probing, Wan Bi already had a good idea in her heart, but she wasn’t certain yet.
There was still one final test left.
“The mastermind the assassin confessed is⦔ Wan Bi’s gaze swept quickly over the crowd before she added, “Senior Grand Secretary of the Grand Secretariat, Yang Qishang!” Wan Bi did not look at Yang Qishang, but instead looked at the person she suspected.
Sure enough, a barely perceptible smugness appeared on that person’s faceβthe pride of successfully deceiving someone, mixed with the joy of narrowly escaping punishment.
Heh. Wan Bi was even more delighted than the true culprit.
Yang Qishang, a man in his sixties, was nearly scared unconscious by the Empress Dowager’s words. With half his body already in the grave, and having already attained the high position of Senior Grand Secretary, why would he assassinate the Empress Dowager and bring disaster upon the Yang family?
“This subject is wronged!” Yang Qishang cried out, falling to his knees.
Wan Bi knew he was wronged. “If Grand Secretary Yang is truly wronged, then apprehend the true culprit for this bereaved one! If the true culprit’s whereabouts are still unknown after three days, this bereaved one will have no choice but to believe the assassin’s words.” Three days was enough. Even if Yang Qishang couldn’t find them, Wan Bi planned to secretly drop a few hints.
This matter still required Yang Qishang to step forward. Although Wan Bi saw who the true culprit was, she had no evidence! The assassin was dead, and witnesses and material evidence were not so easy to find. With a matter this big, it wasn’t easy for her to condemn someone with empty words. It was different if Yang Qishang stepped forward. The old master had been an official for decades, with disciples all over the world. In order to clear the old master’s grievances, his disciples would definitely display their varied talents; finding a little evidence would be all too easy.
To speak bluntly, even if the assassin had confessed another name, Wan Bi still wanted to smear Yang Qishang a bit, just to borrow the Yang family’s network of connections.
Yang Qishang trembled and said, “This subjectβ¦ this subject obeys the decree.”
He was an old fox too, and saw that Her Majesty the Empress Dowager didn’t genuinely suspect him; she just wanted him to catch the real culprit. If he caught them, it would be fine, but if he couldn’t, it was hard to say whether Her Majesty would wrongly execute him in a fit of rage. As for Her Majesty’s characterβ¦ her moral standing was truly quite mediocre. Don’t expect this little ancestor to be reasonable.
Yang Qishang had another layer of worry. Anyone capable of slipping an assassin into the inner palace was no simple figure. Finding the true culprit might not be hard, but whether that true culprit was someone who could be touched was⦠Yang Qishang cast a deeply worried glance at Meng Delai behind him. Could this matter be related to the Eastern Depot?
The case of the Ning’an Palace assassin was difficult! Where lay the difficulty? In a typical case, one analyzed the victim’s enemiesβsuch as a crime of passion or a vendettaβor looked at who stood to gain the most from the victim’s death. In short, there were many ways to narrow down the pool of suspects.
But the Empress Dowager’s case was different.
Her Majesty’s enemiesβroughly equaled the entire world.
The beneficiaries of Her Majesty’s deathβroughly equaled the entire world.
A case like this, where everyone under the heavens was a suspect, was unprecedented in history. Where was he supposed to start investigating?
After receiving the decree, Yang Qishang was helped to his feet.
Only after finishing with the assassin’s matter did Wan Bi start asking for the silver to rebuild Ning’an Palace. She turned to Emperor Ming Cheng. “Emperor, that assassin committed arson. A great fire last night burned Ning’an Palace almost to the ground. This bereaved one would like to request the Emperor appropriate funds to build a palace!”
The moment these words came out, whispers immediately broke out in the hall below. There was actually someone unafraid of death who immediately, albeit with a mild tone, refuted her: “The national treasury is currently running a severe deficit, and many funds that should be allocated to the local provinces have yet to be settled. In this humble official’s view, there are numerous palace chambers in the inner palace. Your Majesty could easily relocate to another palace temporarily; it would not be too late to rebuild when the national treasury is full again.”
Wan Bi glared at the person speaking, walked down the steps, and picked up the sword she had thrown earlier. Sure enough, silence fell instantly.
Standing in the hall, Wan Bi addressed the officials: “Consider this silver borrowed by this bereaved one from the national treasury; it will be repaid with both principal and interest. Do the esteemed lords have any further objections?” Wan Bi took a stroll around while carrying the sword. Seeing no one speak, she said, “Since no one has any objections, it is settled.”
With a gleaming sword waving right before their eyes, who would dare have an objection?
Yao Xi stood outside the doors and witnessed everything, prostrating herself in admiration1 for Her Majesty the Empress Dowager. After court was dismissed, the officials stormed out angrily. Yao Xi quickly stepped aside to make way, waiting for Her Majesty to come out.
Wan Bi did not come out. As soon as court was dismissed, she went and sat on the dragon throne. “Standing has thoroughly exhausted this bereaved one.” She tossed the sword aside and sat lazily, pressed close to Emperor Ming Cheng. “How are things over at the Cold Palace? Who were you in such a rush to see last night?”
Having had his heart in his throat all morning, Emperor Ming Cheng finally relaxed and smiled. “A Noble Lady.”
Wan Bi didn’t quite understand. Was there a woman in the Cold Palace whom the Emperor cared about? “If you care so much, why throw her into the Cold Palace?”
“She wanted to go herself. It’s a long story⦔ Emperor Ming Cheng revealed a sweet smile. What had happened back then was no longer important; as long as she was willing to return to his side, that was good enough.
“I couldn’t tell that the dignified Emperor would let a little woman act so recklessly.” Wan Bi couldn’t help but be a bit curious about who this woman was. Not only had she made a thirty-something Emperor rediscover the shyness of a teenage boy, but she had actually taken the initiative to go to a hellhole like the Cold Palace.
Emperor Ming Cheng smiled. “You say that as if the Late Emperor wasn’t the same with you.” He increasingly understood what Wan Bi meant to the Late Emperor. As the Son of Heaven, obtaining anything was far too easy. At times like this, one needed a person whom they cared deeply about, tried very hard to win over, but ultimately might not necessarily obtain.
While living, a person needed something to strive for. Wan Bi was that unattainable dream for the Late Emperor, and Noble Lady Lan was his. The end result wasn’t as important; what mattered was the process of striving and chasing.
“Has the arsonist been found?” Wan Bi was more concerned about this.
“Mhm.” A trace of sorrow appeared on Emperor Ming Cheng’s face. “Yu-shi couldn’t endure it anymore. She set the fire and immolated herself.”
Wan Bi didn’t believe it. Did Yu-shi look like someone with the courage to burn herself to death? Would someone who couldn’t endure hardship choose self-immolation to end it all? Burning charcoal2 was much more comfortable than self-immolation, or throwing oneself down a well, or hanging! Why would she be so foolish as to suffer that kind of agony?
“Yu-shi is gone?” Wan Bi suspected that with Yu-shi’s popularity, it was highly likely a vendetta disguised as an accident. Yu-shi dying didn’t matter; torturing her to death in the Cold Palace wasn’t hard. But someone who could think of burning the palace downβthey were not simple!
“Gone,” Emperor Ming Cheng nodded.
“Who told the Emperor that Yu-shi burned herself to death?” For this sort of thing, other than the person involved knowing, shouldn’t bystanders first suspect that a fire was accidentally started in Yu-shi’s room? Even if Yu-shi had been shouting loudly, ‘I don’t want to live anymore, I’m going to burn myself to death!’β¦ on a stormy night, wouldn’t the women in the Cold Palace, afraid of losing their own shelter, have stopped Yu-shi before she could make her move?
“Everyone.” Emperor Ming Cheng looked toward Wan Bi. “Why is the Empress Dowager paying so much attention to the fire in the Cold Palace?”
“Unanimously?” Wan Bi’s suspicions grew heavier.
Emperor Ming Cheng recalled the situation last night at Jingling Palace and nodded.
Wan Bi reached a conclusion in her heart, but she didn’t tell Emperor Ming Cheng. She rather wanted to meet this Noble Lady who had taken the initiative to enter the Cold Palace. A woman who could hold Emperor Ming Cheng in such a death grip was no simple figure. Wan Bi was an experienced person, and a woman judging another woman was far more accurate than a man whose heart was blinded by beauty.
“This bereaved one will go to Qianqing Palace to accompany the Emperor for the midday meal. The Emperor should call that Noble Lady along too!” Wan Bi said as she stood up.
Footnotes
- A Chinese idiom (wΗ tΗ tΓ³u dΓ¬) meaning 'to throw the five limbs to the ground' (the head, arms, and legs). It signifies the utmost respect, admiration, or prostration before someone.
- Burning charcoal (shΔo tΓ n) in a sealed room is a method of suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning, which causes the person to painlessly drift into sleep before death.
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