Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 78
by Little Panda[LP: Hi, hi! Unfortunately, Chapter 77 is locked and can’t be accessed anymore!]
The Empress Dowager Refuses
When Zheng Dayun knelt to pay his respects, he shot Yao Xi a grateful smile. Yao Xi had become the Empress Dowager’s male favorite, yet Her Majesty hadn’t given him any trouble these past days. This meant that Yao Xi hadn’t told her about that awful thing he had impulsively done back at the Directorate of Ceremonial’s offices.
Otherwise, given the Empress Dowager’s temperament, there was no way she would have let him off.
Hadn’t Liao Bing from the Bureau of Imperial Gardens died? The day of Liao Bing’s death was the very same day Yao Xi was promoted to Junior Director. Both events had to be the Empress Dowager’s will. In the entire palace, the only master who dared to take a life so openly without giving a reason was the Empress Dowager. The other, lesser masters only dared to discipline the servants in their own palaces; who would dare extend their reach into the Twenty-Four Directorates1?
Wan Bi didn’t tell Zheng Dayun to rise. Let him kneel until she figured out how to deal with him. She swept a displeased glance over him, only to find him still smiling lecherously at Yao Xi. And Yao Xi? She was actually pulling up the corners of her own lips, smiling back…
Is this silly girl that magnanimous? She almost got taken advantage of, and she doesn’t hold a grudge at all? Looks like I’ll have to get Imperial Physician Fu to give her a good check-up and see if that drugged brain of hers can still be saved.
“Zheng Dayun, you know Yao Xi?” Wan Bi didn’t want to wrong an innocent man. Perhaps this Zheng Dayun wasn’t the same eunuch from the Directorate of Ceremonial who had written the love letter. Things had been so chaotic after the assassins entered Ning’an Palace that she had momentarily forgotten to settle accounts with that lecherous eunuch. If that eunuch was Zheng Dayun, she would settle the score today. If not, she would wait until she was back in the palace and have someone find out who it was before settling it.
Even she herself was on thin ice when she bullied Yao Xi, terrified of pushing the girl to suicide. Yet these bastards felt not a shred of compassion, acting on their wicked impulses whenever they pleased.
When Zheng Dayun heard the Empress Dowager’s question, his heart leaped into his throat. He didn’t know if Yao Xi had mentioned him to Her Majesty, or how much she had said.
“Replying to Your Majesty, this slave does indeed know Eunuch Yao.” When one wasn’t sure of the situation, it was best to tell the truth. Deceiving the Empress Dowager was no laughing matter.
“Were you the one who delivered things to Ning’an Palace?” Wan Bi’s heart was blazing with fury, but her voice betrayed no emotion.
Zheng Dayun couldn’t fathom the Empress Dowager’s intent behind the question. “It was this slave,” he answered uneasily.
Good! Now that he’s admitted it, this will be easy.
Wan Bi had made up her mind to punish Zheng Dayun, but she was out of the palace in disguise today and had to keep a low profile to avoid attracting enemies. She couldn’t reveal her identity and deal with this eunuch with a great fanfare. “Read it! What does the Zhu family have?” Wan Bi decided to take care of business first.
After giving the order to Zheng Dayun, she turned to Yao Xi. “Don’t just stand there. Sit.” It was Yao Xi who was in poor health, yet she seemed more concerned about it than Yao Xi herself.
Zheng Dayun assumed the Empress Dowager’s words were meant for him. He was truly tired of kneeling, and he hurriedly rose to give his thanks. “This slave thanks Your Majesty for granting a seat.”
“This bereaved one told Yao Xi to sit!” Wan Bi’s gaze on Zheng Dayun grew even colder. This eunuch’s skin was truly thick; no wonder he would do something so shameless. “You will remain kneeling to report. Does this bereaved one need to look up to speak to you?”
Zheng Dayun scrambled back to his knees. He suspected Yao Xi had already tattled; otherwise, the Empress Dowager wouldn’t be making things difficult for him on purpose. He just hoped that a bit of kneeling would be the end of it.
Hearing the Empress Dowager tell her to sit, Yao Xi obediently gave her thanks and took a seat to the right. Something was strange today. She hadn’t been standing for long, and she had come to Lord State Uncle’s Residence in a spacious and comfortable carriage, yet her legs felt weak, and she had barely been able to remain standing. When she heard Her Majesty make Zheng Dayun kneel to report, she was a little confused.
The Empress Dowager was fond of teasing people, and she was merciless when punishing those who erred. But she wasn’t a sadist like Beauty Yu, who enjoyed torture and flogging. Her Majesty’s perversions lay in other areas; she wouldn’t torment someone for no reason. Did Zheng Dayun offend the Empress Dowager somehow without my knowledge? Then he’s finished. The Empress Dowager can really hold a grudge.
Take care, Zheng-xiong!
Yao Xi had no intention of pleading on Zheng Dayun’s behalf. Even if she didn’t hate him for his rough treatment of her—and was even grateful for his patronage, which had spared her from the things Meng Li’an had suffered upon entering the palace—she didn’t know how he had offended the Empress Dowager. Some favors you could ask, and some you absolutely could not. Besides, she didn’t have that much sway with Her Majesty. Pleading would be useless.
“Read,” Wan Bi said, opening the ledger in her hands. A sudden nervousness pricked at her heart. She wondered if her own accumulated fortune would lose when pitted against Zhu Xiangchang’s.
Zheng Dayun endured the pain in his knees, opened the ledger in his hands, and began to read:
“Residences: eight locations, totaling 480 rooms. This includes 196 main rooms, 84 east rooms, 79 west rooms, 33 east side-rooms, 28 west side-rooms, plus more than 40 miscellaneous rooms and more than 10 storehouses.”
Wan Bi glanced at her own property count—three residences, totaling 176 rooms. She had lost! And it was a crushing defeat.
The Imperial Palace was merely her residence, not her property. The only estates truly in her name were three: one in the capital, one in Jiangnan, and the old Wan family estate.
“Land: over 2,400 qing2. Of this, over 140 qing are top-grade, over 560 qing are mid-grade, and over 1,700 qing are low-grade.”
Wan Bi glanced at her own land holdings—over 800 qing. All of it top-grade.
Another crushing defeat.
Moreover, Zhu Xiangchang’s so-called 1,700 qing of low-grade land were absolutely all prime, fertile fields. Registering high-yield land as barren, low-grade land was an old trick for tax evasion.
Losing on property and land was actually within Wan Bi’s expectations. She amassed her fortune through commerce and had long resided in the palace. What use did she have for hoarding so many houses and estates?
“Additionally: 500,000 taels of gold, including gold ingots3, gold bars, and gold dust. 8,400,000 taels of silver, including silver ingots, silver notes, and loose silver. 9,200 foreign coins4. 600 strings5 of copper coins. Converted to silver, the total is over 13,410,000 taels.”
A smile finally touched Wan Bi’s face. When it came to gold and silver, she had won without a doubt. But alongside the thrill of victory, Wan Bi also felt a little disappointed. She had rushed to the Zhu residence in high spirits to watch the show, only to find this paltry sum of silver? No wonder Zhu Xiangchang had become desperate enough to try and have her assassinated when she had only asked for three million taels.
Yao Xi’s head was spinning from the string of numbers that poured from Zheng Dayun’s mouth.
Lord State Uncle was way too rich! With this much money, it’s no wonder his house was raided.
Seeing Yao Xi’s wide-eyed stare, Wan Bi asked with a smile, “What are you thinking about?”
Yao Xi answered honestly, “This slave was thinking that it’s no wonder Lord State Uncle Zhu’s property was confiscated. Never mind sending assassins into the palace to kill Your Majesty, how could a respectable family possibly possess over ten million taels of silver without resorting to illegal and crooked means? It must have been extorted from the flesh and blood of the common people.”
Wan Bi, who had over ninety million taels of silver stored in her underground vault, suddenly felt a sharp jab in her chest. Illegal and crooked means? Extorted from the flesh and blood of the common people? This little girl really dares to speak her mind.
Seeing how poor Zhu Xiangchang was in comparison, Wan Bi lost her competitive spirit. Time to deal with this eunuch, Zheng Dayun, and head back to the palace.
After helping the exhausted Emperor settle into bed, Yao Shuanglan gently closed the doors to his bedchamber. Holding the silk handkerchief, she made her way to Longyi Palace. She had already visited once that morning, worried for her brother’s safety. Now, she was back again in the afternoon. Longyi, who always looked forward to her coming, was naturally delighted, though a trace of concern tinged her happiness. “If you keep running over here several times a day, Imperial Brother will get suspicious.”
Yao Shuanglan smiled, unconcerned. As soon as she entered the room, she took out the silk handkerchief and handed it to Longyi. “Can you recognize whose this is?”
Longyi picked up the handkerchief and looked at it with disgust. “Ew… How long has it been since this was washed? It’s all yellowed.” But she quickly caught the faint scent wafting from the fabric. “This is too easy to recognize. It’s Imperial Brother’s! It reeks of ambergris6. Can’t you smell it?”
“It’s not because it’s unwashed; it’s just very old.” Yao Shuanglan looked at Longyi, her eyes full of hope. “Look closer. Besides the scent, did you ever see this embroidery when you were a child?”
“When I was a child?” Longyi didn’t understand what Noble Lady Lan was asking. “Did something happen?”
“The Emperor brought me into the palace because he mistook me for someone else.” Yao Shuanglan joyfully relayed every detail of the old story the Emperor had told her. “Longyi, don’t you see? If we can find the Emperor’s true love, maybe we…” Yao Shuanglan blushed, too shy to speak the last few words.
Longyi understood Noble Lady Lan’s meaning, but she wasn’t as elated.
She analyzed the situation based on what her Imperial Brother had said. “A little girl in the palace who dared to hit a prince? Could it be one of the younger princesses? The Late Emperor had many children; it’s not unheard of for us siblings not to know one another. And even if that little girl wasn’t a Feng, have you considered that Imperial Brother might be in love with the you of today, not the her of the past?”
“Diverting Imperial Brother’s affections is a good idea,” Longyi said. “But instead of searching for some acquaintance from the past with no clues, it would be better to act as matchmakers and help him meet someone new.” She also wanted to be with Noble Lady Lan; her approach was just different.
Yao Shuanglan gently helped Longyi to a seat and spoke in a slow, measured tone. “It’s different. When the Emperor met that girl, he wasn’t even the Heir Apparent, let alone the Emperor. Back then, he was beaten and scolded by the Late Emperor, used by the Dowager Consorts, and bullied by his imperial brothers. To meet a little girl who would stand up for him at a time like that… If it were you, could you forget her? In your heart, would that person be the same as all the women who later approached you for power and profit?”
Longyi was silent, pondering this.
“The Emperor doesn’t love me,” Yao Shuanglan continued. “What’s so good about me? Am I exceptionally beautiful or singularly talented? I don’t know how to say sweet things to please him, and I don’t perform my duties in his bed. Why would the Emperor keep tolerating and indulging someone like me? It’s only because he has mistaken me for that girl. He’s cherishing that old affection, thinking that I’m different from the rest.”
“I think everything about you is good…” Longyi retorted peevishly, hearing Noble Lady Lan speak so poorly of herself.
Yao Shuanglan’s eyes curved into smiling crescents. “Only a fool like you thinks I’m good,” she said gently. Her smile then faded a little. “So we have to find that girl. She told the Emperor she was your reading companion, but you’ve never had a reading companion other than me… Why would she lie?”
Longyi picked up the handkerchief, turning it over and over. “A little girl who could appear in the palace back then,” she mused. “She was either Imperial Father’s daughter, or the daughter of one of my imperial uncles, or—like you—the daughter of a minister brought in to be a princess’s reading companion. Could it be that some short-tempered little companion hit a prince and, fearing retaliation, used my name—the Primary Princess7—to intimidate them?”
“That’s possible, too.”
“But there are so many princesses, and even more girls who have served as reading companions. How could we possibly find her? If that woman is around your age, she would have long since reached marriageable age and has likely already been wed.” Longyi’s outlook remained pessimistic. “Let’s try to look first. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just find someone else for Imperial Brother who suits his tastes.”
Longyi still felt some sibling affection for her Imperial Brother, Feng Qian. He had always treated her well. As for her refusal to take a consort, if he hadn’t been holding off the court officials, she never could have had it so easy. She had been genuinely heartbroken for him when the matter of the fake eunuchs had come to light, and she sincerely wanted him to have someone by his side who was truly devoted to him.
But Noble Lady Lan was not that person. Noble Lady Lan was hers to begin with. They had both promised never to marry, but then Imperial Brother had issued an edict and brought her into the palace. She had been living peacefully in her fiefdom when she suddenly received the news: the love of her youth had become her sister-in-law overnight.
Her relationship with her Imperial Brother had grown distant ever since.
Now that Noble Lady Lan was of the same mind, she couldn’t bear to watch her brother continue in this mistaken love. They would search for that nameless girl first. If they couldn’t find her, they would select a new one for him. She would have to be beautiful, and of even better character, and most importantly, she would have to share a mutual affection with Imperial Brother.
The human heart cannot be controlled by laws and palace rules. Only love can make someone truly devoted.
Footnotes
- Èrshísì Yámen (二十四衙门). The collective term for the twenty-four eunuch-run agencies that managed the Imperial Palace's internal affairs.
- A qǐng (顷) is a traditional Chinese unit of area. One qǐng is equal to 100 mu, or approximately 6.67 hectares (16.5 acres).
- Yuánbǎo (元宝), also known as sycee. Boat- or shoe-shaped ingots of gold or silver used as currency in imperial China.
- Yángqián (洋钱), literally 'ocean money.' A term for foreign silver coins, particularly Spanish or Mexican silver dollars, which were widely circulated in China as a form of currency.
- A chuàn (串) is a measure word for a string of cash. Copper coins with holes in the center were typically strung together, often in groups of 1,000, for easier handling and accounting.
- Lóngxiánxiāng (龙涎香), literally 'dragon's spittle fragrance.' Ambergris is a waxy substance from sperm whales, highly valued in perfumery for its unique scent. It was an extremely rare and expensive luxury reserved for the emperor.
- Dí gōngzhǔ (嫡公主). The daughter of an emperor and his primary wife, the Empress. A Primary Princess held a higher status and more prestige than princesses born to imperial concubines.
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