Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 50
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Yao Xi returned to the duty room, changed into the everyday clothes the Empress Dowager had given her, and grabbed her large gold bars, ready to collect a waist tag and leave the palace.
As soon as she stepped out of the duty room, she found a young eunuch waiting for her.
“Eunuch Yao, the Empress Dowager, mindful that your foot injury hasn’t fully healed, ordered this little one to escort you to Yuanqing Gate so you can take a carriage out of the palace.” The young eunuch stepped forward to take the items in Yao Xi’s arms. “Let this little one help you carry these, Eunuch!”
Yao Xi clutched the large gold bars tightly to her chest and smiled, politely declining. “No need. These aren’t heavy.” She felt that, guarding her gold bars right now, she must look exactly like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. She also felt the Empress Dowager was truly considerate; her feet had actually already lost their swelling, yet Her Majesty still remembered to care for them.
Once outside the palace, Yao Xi had no time to dilly-dally. She first went to the money shop and deposited nine of the large gold bars, exchanging the last one for silver. Then, riding the carriage through the winding streets and alleys, she began a long shopping spree.
She needed to buy something for Gugu Hanqiu. Even though the pastries and tea leaves from the Directorate of Palace Servants that the gugu had prepared for her had been left behind in the cherry blossom grove and went unused, she still remembered the gugu’s kind intentions.
She also needed to buy something for Meng Li’an. That kid had been beaten so badly because of her that he couldn’t even get out of bed; she had to bring some medicine back for him.
Then there was Princess Longyi. The jade carving she had given her last time was just presenting the Buddha with borrowed flowers1. At the time, she had possessed nothing of her own and could only regift what Zheng Dayun had given her. Now that she had the Empress Dowager’s reward silver and was living in Her Highness the Eldest Princess’s palace, she ought to put some thought into bringing Her Highness a small gift.
Speaking of presenting borrowed flowers to the Buddha… she also needed to bring a gift for the Empress Dowager. That pair of gold paperweights from last time had also belonged to Zheng Dayun. Her Majesty treated her so well; she had to show gratitude and repay the kindness.
And as for Zheng Dayun… aside from the things he had sent later which were still sitting in Ning’an Palace, she had to find a way to replace all the items she had accepted from him previously and return everything together, clearing their debts so neither owed the other.
There were also her own daily necessities to buy, such as the cotton and cotton cloth she would need very soon.
Calculating it all like this, the silver exchanged from a single large gold bar didn’t seem like enough…
Yao Xi felt a pang of heartache for her wallet.
With so much to buy, it was a good thing the Empress Dowager had ordered a young eunuch to accompany her out of the palace, and that they had a carriage. Otherwise, Yao Xi truly wouldn’t have known how to handle the massive pile of purchases.
“To Shangde Gate,” Yao Xi told the driver after finishing her shopping.
The young eunuch sharing the carriage smiled and reminded her, “You’re confused, Eunuch. We don’t live in Ning’an Palace anymore. If the carriage stops at Shangde Gate, walking to Her Highness the Eldest Princess’s residence from there is taking the long way around!”
“I have to go back to Ning’an Palace first to handle something, then return to the Eldest Princess’s palace.” Yao Xi wasn’t confused; she needed to drop off the heaviest items first. Even with the young eunuch’s help, lugging such heavy things all over the palace was exhausting! She could only blame the imperial palace for being far too large.
Meng Li’an had requested leave today. He had gone to Dongchang Hutong to have the midday meal with his godfather, Meng Delai, and had only recently returned to Ning’an Palace.
Yao Xi ordered the young eunuchs to wait in the courtyard and guard the remaining items while she carried the things she had bought for Meng Li’an to the side quarters.
Meng Li’an had finally managed to get a room to himself. He was currently sitting cross-legged on the floor, his eyes closed as he rested and restored his energy. Since entering Ning’an Palace, he had suffered no small amount of humiliation and beatings. When he went to the Eastern Depot today, the doctor had examined him and instructed him to nurture his vitality. It was a good thing he was actually a trained martial artist despite his frail appearance; otherwise, taking a beating like that, he would have died countless times over by now. Even now, taking a deep breath sent a sharp pain through his chest. The doctor had said a rib was broken.
Hearing a knock on the door, Meng Li’an tensed.
The two dead eunuchs weren’t the only ones in Ning’an Palace who bullied him; those two had just been his roommates, so their bullying had been more severe. When Yao Xi was around, the other eunuchs had held back, wary of Yao Xi’s position serving by the Empress Dowager’s side, and hadn’t dared to storm into his room to humiliate him like before. But with Yao Xi gone, there were no guarantees.
“Who is it?” Meng Li’an didn’t dare open the door. It wasn’t that he couldn’t win a fight, but rather that he couldn’t fight. There was no assassin to take the blame for him now. If he opened the door and let those bastards in, he wouldn’t be able to strike back, and the injuries on his body would only worsen.
“Li’an-di! Hurry up and open the door.” Yao Xi’s voice was thoroughly cheerful.
Only upon hearing Yao Xi’s voice did Meng Li’an relax. He struggled up from the floor and unlatched the door. Yao Xi stood outside, beaming from ear to ear, her arms full of a massive pile of who-knew-what.
Yao Xi walked into the room with a smile, set the things down, and immediately poured a cup of tea, gulping it down. “Your brother is dying of thirst. For two whole shichen2, I didn’t even have a moment to catch my breath. I was terrified I wouldn’t make it back before the palace gates locked, so I’ve been rushing the entire way.”
“You went out of the palace?” Meng Li’an asked, clutching his stomach as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
Yao Xi nodded. She looked at Meng Li’an with heartache and asked, “Does it still hurt badly?”
“How could it heal that fast?” Meng Li’an smiled bitterly.
Yao Xi crouched down, untied the large cloth bundle she had carried in, and began pulling things out one by one. “Your brother went out and brought you some things. This is medicine from Yihetang; the ointment in the box is for external application, and the packets are to be taken internally. I also brought you a small charcoal stove for brewing medicine, so you can brew it right here in your room. And these are pastries from Baoqing Zhai. It’s chilly these days, so they’ll keep. Save them and eat them slowly…”
Meng Li’an looked down at the massive pile of goods on the floor, a strange feeling flitting across his heart. “These must have cost quite a bit of silver, right? Where did you get the money?” He knew Yao Xi had no savings to speak of.
Yao Xi pointed to the new clothes on her body and said smugly, “A reward from the Empress Dowager. Oh, right, I already had a word with the eunuchs in Ning’an Palace. I told them you’re my younger brother, and anyone who bullies you is crossing me! Your brother has been promoted to Junior Director. Doesn’t the old saying go: ‘When a man achieves the Dao, even his poultry and… pah, pah, pah3!’ Anyway, as long as your brother is serving by the Empress Dowager’s side, those people won’t dare bully you anymore.”
Inside the palace, frail or delicate-looking young eunuchs without a backer would inevitably be bullied. For instance, a crowd would jeer and shout, “So girly! Maybe he’s a wench!” Then they would strip off his pants in public to inspect his castration scar. All sorts of torment and even physical beatings were commonplace.
Regarding this matter, Yao Xi had always harbored a sense of gratitude toward Zheng Dayun. If Zheng Dayun hadn’t told the people at the Bureau of Imperial Gardens that she was his brother before leaving for Zhejiang, her days wouldn’t have been so peaceful. With a face like hers, who knew how much misery would have come knocking at her door. Yao Xi couldn’t bear to ask exactly how Meng Li’an had been bullied, but she also mingled among the eunuchs; she was all too clear on those vile practices.
Meng Li’an said nothing, sitting on the edge of the bed as he listened to Yao Xi’s nagging instructions. This feeling of being cared for was entirely alien to him. It made him feel at a loss, unsure of how to respond.
What he had told Yao Xi about his life before entering the palace—except for his name—was all true. His parents had died early. His uncle, eager to embezzle his family’s wealth and avoid paying taxes, had paid a hefty sum in bribes to send him thousands of miles away to the palace to be castrated and made a eunuch. He had been only eleven the year he entered the palace, and he had clawed his way up for many years before finally managing to get close to the Director of the Eastern Depot, Meng Delai.
“Meng Li’an” was the name Meng Delai had given him when he acknowledged the man as his godfather.
To set a saddle upon the back of a mule or horse.
To put it bluntly: a beast of burden.
Meng Delai was only using him; he knew that well. Coincidentally, he was doing the exact same thing.
“Be careful when you go over there to serve,” Meng Li’an said, smiling at Yao Xi. This silly boy. It’s still up in the air who’s protecting who!
Yao Xi said gleefully, “You have no idea how highly the Empress Dowager values me.”
Meng Li’an couldn’t help but secretly roll his eyes at Yao Xi. Such smugness.
Yao Xi had no time to chat idly with Meng Li’an. She hurried out to fetch water, and after coming back in, she opened a window, lit the charcoal stove, and placed the medicine pot on top. Looking up at Meng Li’an, she said, “The medicine is brewing. Keep an eye on the time and remember to drink it! If anyone wrongs you, come find me at the Eldest Princess’s place. Your brother will come back and seek justice for you.”
“Alright,” Meng Li’an agreed. He didn’t dare drink the medicine—not because he suspected Yao Xi would poison it, but because he had already taken medicine at the Eastern Depot. He was worried the medicinal properties would clash and end up harming his body. Still, he silently accepted Yao Xi’s goodwill. Inside the palace, this kind of selfless kindness was rare indeed.
Yao Xi left the side quarters and called over two young eunuchs, having them deliver Zheng Dayun’s things to the Directorate of Ceremonial. Gratitude was one thing, but she didn’t dare have any more dealings with Zheng Dayun.
While Emperor Ming Cheng was discussing matters with Tang Huaili, Yao Shuanglan made her way to Longyi Palace. She figured that since the Empress Dowager was temporarily residing there, her younger brother, who served as Her Majesty’s personal attendant, would surely be there as well.
She had originally wanted to avoid Longyi. She understood the Eldest Princess’s feelings for her, but she simply couldn’t reciprocate them. Since nothing could come of it, it was better to make the other party give up hope. The Eldest Princess was twenty-eight this year. She should have been betrothed to an Imperial Son-in-Law long ago; one didn’t even need to think to know why it had been constantly delayed. However, if she wanted to go to Longyi Palace to speak with her brother, she had no choice but to pay her respects to the host4.
The Empress Dowager was merely a guest there. Ultimately, that palace belonged to Longyi. It made no sense to go there to meet someone while ignoring the master of the house.
Longyi was in her courtyard, staring blankly up at the sky. After Wan Bi had moved in, her living space had been reduced by more than half. Since Wan Bi had to pass through her area to enter and exit, she didn’t even dare stroll through the gardens anymore for fear of bumping into her. She could only hole up in her small courtyard.
“Princess, Noble Lady Lan requests an audience,” a palace maid came in and reported.
Longyi didn’t want to see her. Noble Lady Lan had just been received into Qianqing Palace by her imperial brother. What pleasantries could she possibly have to share at a time like this? She was probably just going to tell her to give up hope again.
“Invite her in.” Yet she couldn’t bear to turn her away. It wouldn’t be the first time she heard hurtful words. Let her say what she wants. I won’t give up anyway.
Yao Shuanglan entered the courtyard. Seeing Longyi glance at her and immediately look away, she knew the Princess was still angry about what had happened at Jingling Palace last night. “This subject-concubine greets Her Highness the Eldest Princess,” Yao Shuanglan said, performing a curtsy.
Longyi waved a hand, dismissing the palace maids. “Why aren’t you serving my imperial brother in Qianqing Palace, Noble Lady Lan? What are you doing running over to this palace’s residence?” Longyi had a generally mild temper, yet she couldn’t help but get angry whenever she faced Noble Lady Lan. All her longing and unrequited love curdled into acerbic words the moment they met.
“Thank you for hurrying to Jingling Palace last night, Your Highness.” Yao Shuanglan took a seat opposite Longyi.
Longyi’s expression softened considerably. She was quick to anger around Noble Lady Lan, but she was also easy to coax; a couple of soft words were all it took to improve her mood. “As long as you’re unharmed. Last night in Qianqing Palace, you and my imperial brother…” Longyi was both hoping nothing had happened and terrified that something had. She knew Noble Lady Lan’s temperament: if she had been willing to serve him in bed, it meant she had given her heart to the Emperor.
Yao Shuanglan understood. If she wanted to make Princess Longyi give up completely, she should lie and say she had served the Emperor in bed last night. But looking at Longyi’s face—filled with both hope and dread—the words reached the tip of her tongue, yet she couldn’t bear to speak them. Once those words were said, any possibility between her and Princess Longyi would truly be dead. She had constantly wished for Princess Longyi to give up, only to realize in this moment that the person who truly refused to let go was actually herself.
“His Majesty has been overworked with state affairs. He was busy at Jingling Palace until midnight, and he went straight to sleep after returning.”
“Mm, mm.” Longyi beamed.
Afraid that continuing to chat with Longyi would lead to trouble, Yao Shuanglan steered the conversation to the main topic. “Is the Empress Dowager present?”
“Why are you looking for her?” Longyi asked with concern. “The women in the palace can’t hide from her fast enough, yet here you are, delivering yourself to her doorstep.”
“I’ve only just come out of the Cold Palace. Even though I saw the Empress Dowager at Qianqing Palace at noon, she was the one who came over there. As a junior, it’s only right that I call upon her to pay my respects first. The more someone cannot be crossed, the less I dare to neglect my etiquette.” Yao Shuanglan knew the Empress Dowager disliked her, and she wanted to use this opportunity of seeking out her brother to ease her relationship with Her Majesty.
Offending the Empress Dowager meant one could not survive in the palace. Even the Emperor’s favor couldn’t be relied upon. Beauty Yu had been favored too, yet hadn’t she been thrown into the Cold Palace with a single word from the Empress Dowager?
Wan Bi couldn’t sleep. With nothing better to do, she picked up Yao Xi’s two storybooks and leafed through them. The blurred handwriting made them difficult to read at first, but after a while, she got used to it. Before she knew it, she had finished an entire volume. It was actually quite good. After reading both books in one sitting, Wan Bi still felt a lingering craving for more. Her mind was entirely filled with the pitiful image of the prime minister’s son and the street-performing girl she had just read about, thwarted by others because of the vast disparity in their social statuses.
A disparity in status…
Wan Bi couldn’t help but think of herself and Yao Xi…
But if she had feelings for the little castrated donkey, she wouldn’t allow anyone to thwart her. What a pity the little castrated donkey is a eunuch! Wan Bi had been having this thought often lately. Especially when looking at the little castrated donkey’s bright, captivating little face and that slender little body that made a person want to pull him into an embrace. She would sigh inwardly and think: What a pity the little castrated donkey is a eunuch!
Just as Wan Bi was immersed in the story she had just read, a palace maid came in and announced, “Your Majesty, Noble Lady Lan has come to pay her respects.”
Upon hearing this, the smile on Wan Bi’s face vanished without a trace. “Let her in!”
Footnotes
- A Chinese idiom (jiè huā xiàn fó) meaning to win favor using someone else's property. Literally, 'to present the Buddha with borrowed flowers.'
- A traditional unit of time (shíchén); one shichen equals two hours. 'Two shichen' is four hours.
- The full idiom is 'When a man achieves the Dao, even his poultry and dogs ascend to heaven' (yī rén dé dào, jī quǎn shēng tiān), meaning that when a person gains power, all their friends and family benefit. Yao Xi cuts herself off so as not to call Meng Li'an a dog or a chicken.
- A slang/idiomatic phrase (bài shāntóu) meaning to pay respects to the local boss or host before conducting business on their turf.
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