Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 95
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager Refuses
The atmosphere in the warm pavilion1 was as mournful as a funeral hall.
Yao Xi, who was about to experience her third parting with her hard-earned money, stared at the pile of treasures on the kang table2—treasures she had nearly worked herself to death to carry back with her own two hands. She had grievances she could not voice and tears she could not shed.
Yao Xi had originally been thrilled to bits. The Empress Dowager had calmly accepted the fact of her womanhood—extremely calmly, without a single word of blame. Her Highness had not pressed her with questions either, saying only that what was in the past should remain in the past, never to be raised again. Her Highness had even confessed that her feelings for her went beyond mere fondness; it was love, and she had promised that no one would ever harm her again.
Everything was so perfect!
Right up until Her Highness’s stingy streak flared up again, demanding to confiscate the rewards she had spent most of the day working so hard to obtain. Before, it had been pure, unadulterated joy, but now that joy was muddled with many other emotions. Such as heartache and resentment.
In truth, she wanted for nothing while staying by the Empress Dowager’s side. Her food, clothing, and daily amenities were the absolute finest in the realm. Her Highness was only stingy with her when it came to gold and silver; she never skimped on material provisions. Since Yao Xi intended to remain in the palace long-term with the Empress Dowager as her backing, she indeed had no need to use silver to clear her path.
But as the old saying goes, “with grain in hand, one does not panic.”
If her relationship with Her Highness should ever grow cold and fade one day, she would at least have some silver to settle down outside the palace. Even if they remained deeply in love forever, Her Highness’s unpredictable temperament meant minor squabbles were inevitable. Having silver on her person would allow her to stand a little firmer and reason with the Empress Dowager if she ever felt wronged.
At the very, very worst, she wouldn’t have to serve in bed3 for a measly two taels, would she? She had no idea who had taught Her Highness such wicked ways. Her Highness seemed utterly addicted to playing the patron, turning what ought to be a mutually consensual affair into a commercial transaction. It wasn’t that Yao Xi was particularly high-minded, but two taels was simply too cheap!
No. She had to raise her price!
Her clothes had just been untied in the Main Hall, but before leaving the warm pavilion, Yao Xi had tidied her clothes. As she tied her waistband, her hand brushed against the small booklet that Gugu Yuanqian had given her, which she had stuffed into the pocket of her outer robe.
After she got the booklet in Ning’an Palace, she had been too busy delivering festival gifts to the ladies of the various palaces to look at it. After she returned, she didn’t dare to look at it in front of the Empress Dowager either. Now that Her Highness was not around, Yao Xi pulled out the booklet and took a quick glance.
Inside were recorded the Empress Dowager’s likes, dislikes, and daily habits.
Her “Likes” spanned only a single page, containing a mere handful of entries. The first one was: Her Highness loves wealth, but acquires it through righteous means.
She already knew the Empress Dowager loved wealth, but as for “acquiring it through righteous means”… This had to be a polishing touch added by Gugu Yuanqian to save her own skin, lest Her Highness accidentally discover the booklet and fly into a rage upon reading it. One phrase recorded the fact, and the next praised Her Highness—it was just right.
One had to admit, Gugu Yuanqian was truly watertight!
Still, the things Her Highness liked were really far too few! Staring at the mostly blank page, Yao Xi suddenly grinned. She leaned over the kang table, ground some ink, picked up a brush, and added another line at the end: Her Highness loves Yao Xi more than wealth.
She held up the booklet, looking at her freshly written words, and nodded in satisfaction.
The thick stack of pages that followed recorded all of Her Highness’s taboos and habits. Yao Xi did not dare linger in the warm pavilion for too long. She slipped the booklet back into her pocket, scooped up the pile of freshly received rewards, and headed out to the Main Hall.
In the brief interval while Yao Xi was retrieving the items from the warm pavilion, Wan Bi opened the doors to the hall and instructed the palace maids waiting outside, “This bereaved one wishes to bathe. Prepare the bathwater at Lanye Pool.”
“Will Your Highness not have your meal served?” a palace maid asked cautiously. The hour for the midday meal had nearly passed; was Her Highness not hungry? In the past, urging Her Highness to eat was a task handled by Gugu Yuanqian. When Gugu Yuanqian had returned last time, she had specifically instructed the senior palace maids before leaving that if Her Highness refused to eat when the hour arrived, they had to persuade her more firmly.
Wan Bi had no desire to eat her midday meal—at least, not before she devoured that girl Yao Xi.
After she teased Yao Xi for a bit, they would go to Lanye Pool to bathe together, and then she would have the girl change into women’s clothes… Wan Bi smiled widely as she told the palace maid, “We shall discuss the meal later. Burn some incense at Lanye Pool, and prepare two sets of clean clothes for this bereaved one.”
“Yes, Your Highness.” The palace maid lacked Gugu Yuanqian’s death-defying work ethic; hearing Her Highness speak thus, she dared not persuade her any further.
Just as Wan Bi closed the doors of the hall, Yao Xi returned carrying her treasures. The girl’s complexion was truly not very good! Hahahahaha! “Is Eunuch Yao delivering festival gifts, or heading to the execution ground? Your face is so pale. Unwilling?”
“This slave is willing,” Yao Xi said with a smile.
Her smile was not forced. The minor disappointment of losing her wealth could not overshadow her joy at the Empress Dowager accepting her. Besides, there would be plenty of opportunities to earn silver in the palace in the future. She had to constantly remind herself to be content. Not to mention keeping her little life, she had even won Her Highness over. In comparison, this small amount of wealth was not worth mentioning.
Yao Xi tried her hardest to convince herself.
Boohoo… But she could not.
Her Highness did not lack these trifles; why could she not leave her just a tiny bit?
“This bereaved one certainly cannot tell you are willing.” Wan Bi gestured to the desk. “Put the things down! Since you have given this bereaved one gifts, it is only right that We return the favor.”
Yao Xi’s eyes lit up. But when she recalled the “Loyal Liver, Righteous Gall” scroll that remained unmounted in the warm pavilion, the light in her eyes dimmed again. Her Highness had no genuine intention of gifting her anything; she was clearly just teasing her for fun. She would not fall for it again! Yao Xi’s face went blank, unable to muster any anticipation.
“Is Eunuch Yao not curious what it is?” Seeing Yao Xi’s utterly despondent look, Wan Bi found it incredibly amusing.
“Whatever Your Highness rewards, this slave will like it,” Yao Xi replied perfunctorily.
“From now on, there is no need for Eunuch Yao to receive monthly silver.” Wan Bi toyed with the gold zongzi Yao Xi had brought over, speaking nonchalantly. “You no longer perform the duties of a eunuch or a palace maid; you are this bereaved one’s favored attendant. Naturally, your method of earning silver must differ from the rest. There is only one path for you to earn silver—”
Yao Xi let out a sigh. She understood the Empress Dowager’s meaning. With no monthly silver to collect, if she wanted money, she had to accompany her in bed—at two taels a session. Was this Her Highness’s returned gift? Heavens above!
“This slave is willing to serve Your Highness, but two taels of silver is truly too little.” Yao Xi’s clever mind began to whirl again, her silver tongue sharpening under the allure of profit. “To serve Your Highness is a blessing cultivated over several lifetimes; logically, this slave should be too overjoyed to even think of accepting Your Highness’s silver. But since Your Highness insists on giving this slave silver, this slave cannot allow herself to be worth a mere two taels. Your Highness is the Empress Dowager of our Daxing Dynasty, the most noble personage in the land. The one who serves Your Highness should likewise be the most expensive in the world!”
“And in Eunuch Yao’s estimation, how much per session?” Wan Bi laughed. The little wench had so many sly schemes, actually using her to drive up her own price tag.
“Three… three hundred taels?” Yao Xi said hesitantly. She had never set foot in the pleasure quarters and had no idea what the most popular girls charged. She only vaguely recalled Her Highness mentioning that the top courtesan at Xiangman House in the capital cost a mere twenty taels. But she was the one serving Her Highness—she had to be expensive! Absurdly expensive! Thus, she opened her mouth wide to demand a sky-high sum.
What if it actually worked? Hehe.
“Three hundred taels?” Wan Bi knit her brow slightly, walking over to her chair and seating herself with elegant poise. “Is Eunuch Yao certain?”
Yao Xi was not certain at all. Was Her Highness angry? Would she think Yao Xi was ungrateful, trying to swindle her after already receiving such favor? Just as she was debating whether to offer a clearance discount, she suddenly heard the Empress Dowager say with a laugh, “This bereaved one originally intended to give Eunuch Yao one thousand taels.”
One thousand taels? How could that be!
Yao Xi did not believe it. The figure was so exaggerated that she had to suspect it was yet another pit the Empress Dowager had dug for her.
After she confessed her identity as a woman, Her Highness had spared her the crime of deception and kept her close to serve; that was already a profound grace. Her Highness could jokingly treat such matters as a business transaction, but Yao Xi could not. Best to let it go. Being able to accompany Her Highness was already immense happiness; she should not let greed lead her into a trap.
“This slave was merely joking with Your Highness! This slave admires Your Highness and desires nothing more than to serve you in bed. Under no circumstances would this slave allow money to taint her noble character!” Yao Xi spoke with utter solemnity.
Wan Bi smiled faintly. Reaching into the drawer of her desk, she pulled out a box, opened it, and produced one thousand taels in silver notes. She slapped them onto the desk and said to Yao Xi, “Has Eunuch Yao thought it through? Do you truly not want it?”
This slave stared at the silver notes, swallowed hard, and insisted stubbornly, “No! This slave will never allow money to taint…”
Wan Bi cut her off. “This bereaved one is giving Eunuch Yao one last chance. Once you pass this village, there won’t be another shop like this.”
Yao Xi’s heart was wavering wildly. Should she accept it first and see? If Her Highness’s expression changed, she could think of a way to deal with it then. Poverty prompted Yao Xi to stretch out her wicked little hand.
“Your Highness is not teasing this slave, correct?” Yao Xi did not feel secure taking this silver. She rested her hand on the silver notes but did not dare pull them back immediately, asking in deep trepidation instead.
“Of course not.” Wan Bi reached out and snatched the silver notes back from beneath Yao Xi’s hand. “However, Eunuch Yao gets no silver for serving this bereaved one unless this bereaved one actively initiates it.” Wan Bi was already imagining how this little miser of a girl would rack her brains to seduce her just to earn silver.
Wan Bi returned the silver notes to the box. When she looked up at Yao Xi again, the person was gone.
Lowering her gaze, she saw Yao Xi lying flat on the floor, her waistband already untied. The girl grinned cheekily up at her and said, “Your Highness, this slave is ready.”
What a spineless little thing. Didn’t she just say she would never allow money to taint her noble character?
Staring down at Yao Xi stretched out on the floor, Wan Bi suppressed her mounting desire and said, “This bereaved one has no interest at present.” Was one thousand taels really so easy to earn? Just by lying on the floor? The little thing would have to put in a bit more effort!
“Your Majesty, you have truly mistaken me for someone else!” Yao Shuanglan said helplessly as she sat alongside Emperor Ming Cheng in the palanquin heading toward Longyi Palace.
Today, the Emperor had suddenly decided to promote her to the rank of Jieyu.
Although entering the palace had spared her from exile to the Southern Frontier, she was, in the end, the daughter of a disgraced official. She had borne no children; on what grounds did she deserve a sudden promotion of four ranks? She knew full well that this imperial favor was not meant for her, which only made her feel more undeserving. It had been better before when she didn’t know; she had simply assumed the Emperor was blind to favor her so. Now, she felt like a magpie usurping a dove’s nest.
Emperor Ming Cheng pulled Noble Lady Lan’s hand, which she had repeatedly tried to pull away, and said, “Back then, We were already in the years of dancing the elephant4, while you were a mere child of seven or eight. Is Our memory more reliable, or yours?”
Yao Shuanglan hung her head in dejection. She truly had no idea how to explain it. The Emperor was absolutely certain that the little girl from all those years ago was her, simply because that girl had claimed to be Princess Longyi’s reading companion—and Longyi had only ever had her as a reading companion from childhood to adulthood. Unless that girl was found, the Emperor would never believe otherwise. As long as he remained convinced she was his childhood savior, he would continue to blindly bestow his deep affection upon her. And as for her and Longyi… it would remain entirely impossible.
“Your Majesty, it is also against protocol for this subject-concubine to offer tea to the Empress Dowager.” Noble Lady Lan could not bear such grand favor. A concubine’s promotion had always been handled at the Empress’s palace.
Ever since the Empress Dowager had visited the Emperor at Huiling Hall, his mood had improved considerably, but he had changed entirely. He seemed to have lost all interest in the other women of the palace, focusing his entire attention on her. Now, she could not even find a spare moment to go and speak with Longyi.
“We are the rules!” Emperor Ming Cheng held Noble Lady Lan’s hand, smiling at her tenderly. “By the way, the Empress Dowager has the temperament of a child. If she acts unreasonably in a moment, do not take it to heart. Just humor her a little. Her heart is not bad.”
“This subject-concubine will keep that in mind.”
In previous years, Emperor Ming Cheng would go to Xiyuan to watch the dragon boat races. Wan Bi never went where the crowds gathered. Thinking back, this was actually the first Dragon Boat Festival he was spending with Wan Bi.
Upon arriving at the Empress Dowager’s palace, the maidservants at the door prepared to announce them in a loud voice, but Emperor Ming Cheng made a silencing gesture.
He wanted to give Wan Bi a surprise. In years past, she had always spent the festival alone in a pitiful state. This year, he had not only rushed over himself but had even brought her daughter-in-law along. A family of three gathering in harmony to drink wine and chat would be better than anything.
Smiling, Emperor Ming Cheng led Noble Lady Lan forward and pushed the doors open.
When the two of them witnessed the scene inside the Main Hall, Emperor Ming Cheng’s smile instantly froze on his face, while Yao Shuanglan turned her head away in absolute distress.
Footnotes
- Nuǎngé (暖阁), literally 'warm pavilion.' A heated side chamber within a larger room, often used for sleeping in winter. Separated from the main bedchamber by partition doors.
- A kàng (炕) is a traditional heated brick bed-platform common in northern China. A kàngzhuó (炕桌) is a low table placed on it for dining or writing.
- Shìqǐn (侍寝), literally 'to serve in bed.' The traditional court protocol of attending the emperor or, in this context, a romantic partner in bed.
- Wǔxiàng zhī nián (舞象之年), literally 'the years of dancing the elephant.' An ancient Chinese term referring to a young man between fifteen and twenty years of age, during which he was expected to learn military skills and dances.
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