Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 64
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager Refuses
Wan Bi was not one to let things linger. The moment a thought took hold, she had to act on it. Deciding she needed a gugu to teach her unenlightened little castrated donkey a thing or two, she sent for Yuanqian to return to Ning’an Palace.
This was a task she could only entrust to Yuanqian.
She had plenty of gugu around her, but Yuanqian had been with her the longest and was closest to her. There were things she could say to Yuanqian that would be awkward to discuss with anyone else. Like how to instruct the little castrated donkey on serving her…
And there was another crucial point. Palace gugu could teach matters between men and women without issue, but how a eunuch and a woman were supposed to conduct themselves? That, they might not know. Honestly, even she didn’t know. The erotic paintings showed men and women—no eunuchs involved! Now that she’d taken the little castrated donkey as her male favorite, she could look but not taste. His body was dry, thin, and damaged; she couldn’t bring herself to consume that. But the little castrated donkey could serve her in other ways. As for how exactly, that required someone experienced to teach him.
Yuanqian had been with Tang Huaili for so many years. Her experience in that area should be considerable.
Estimating that Yuanqian should be returning soon, Wan Bi told Yao Xi to go back to the duty room first.
“This one only asks you to return to the duty room. You are not permitted to go over by the stream,” Wan Bi instructed Yao Xi. “From now on, without this bereaved one’s decree, you are not to leave this palace by even half a step.” The little castrated donkey’s temperament was too wild. If she didn’t rein him in, he might disappear again someday.
“Yes.” Yao Xi thought of the several chests of rewards the Empress Dowager had bestowed and added, “Then might Your Majesty permit this slave to leave the palace for a trip…” Those items would be difficult to take along without converting them to silver notes. Later, when accompanying Her Majesty to Qianqing Palace, she wanted to find an opportunity to ask Noble Lady Lan if there was any way to get her out of the palace.
Her Majesty had just taken her as a male favorite and kissed her at Lanye Pool. At this rate, wouldn’t she be summoned to serve in her bed tonight? Being discovered as a woman would happen in mere minutes. She couldn’t stay in this palace even for a moment longer.
“Leave the palace for what?” Wan Bi smiled. “Going to the money shop again?”
Yao Xi nodded sheepishly. Not just the money shop—the pawnshop too. The things Her Majesty had rewarded were all fine items, but they would be inconvenient to carry when fleeing. She didn’t know if a pawnshop would dare accept items that had come from the palace. Probably not! Better to forget it—just take the gold and silver. If she tried to sell palace items and the pawnshop manager reported her to the authorities as a thief, she’d be finished.
“No ambition. Silver notes are just paper. The things this bereaved one rewarded you can’t be bought even with silver.” Wan Bi said helplessly, “No need to leave the palace. If you like silver notes, this bereaved one will give you silver notes. Eighty thousand taels in silver notes or these six chests of things—you can only choose one…”
“Silver notes!!!” Yao Xi was overjoyed. Eighty thousand taels! So beauty really was productivity. Being Her Majesty’s male favorite earned money so much more easily than being a slave. How much had she been rewarded for saving Her Majesty’s life at Ning’an Palace? And now just by selling her looks a little, she could easily pocket eighty thousand taels.
“No ambition.” Wan Bi glanced at Yao Xi. Those six chests were worth far more than eighty thousand taels. The little castrated donkey really was a little fool. “Go back. This bereaved one will have someone send them over shortly.”
Yao Xi had barely returned to her room when Yuanqian arrived. Just like last time, Her Majesty had summoned her back in the middle of the day. After the excruciatingly embarrassing interrogation last time, Yuanqian’s expression was heavy. Would Her Majesty ask something strange again?
Her intuition was spot on. She’d barely closed the door behind her, not even had time to sit down, when Her Majesty’s voice came from behind her.
“Yuanqian. How do you and Tang Huaili usually conduct yourselves?” Wan Bi asked directly. She wasn’t one to beat around the bush—she said what she meant. She only ever felt shy in front of the little castrated donkey who admired her; with anyone else, never. Worried that speaking too vaguely would make Yuanqian not understand, Wan Bi thoughtfully added, “This bereaved one refers to bedroom matters.”
Yuanqian, who had just closed the door, froze with her back to Her Majesty. The last question had been embarrassing enough—now Her Majesty was asking about their bedroom matters on top of it?
What did it matter to Her Majesty how she and Tang Huaili conducted themselves? Yuanqian wanted to cry. Your Majesty, if you’re feeling empty and lonely, just tell this slave-girl! Can’t this slave-girl bring you some erotic books and paintings to satisfy your cravings? Why do you need to know about what happens between a couple in bed?
Yuanqian’s face flushed red as she turned around and sat down on a chest in the hall. “Why does Your Majesty ask this slave-girl such things?”
Wan Bi saw that Yuanqian’s face was red enough to catch fire and realized she’d asked too directly. Besides, she only wanted Yuanqian to instruct Yao Xi. It would actually be better if she didn’t know—then there’d still be an element of surprise when Yao Xi served her. With that thought, she said, “It’s fine if you don’t say. But this bereaved one has taken Yao Xi as a male favorite, and that child is unenlightened. You have experience—enlighten him for this bereaved one.”
Enlighten Yao Xi? Yuanqian’s expression grew even more strained. How was she supposed to do that? Tell Yao Xi how Tang Huaili served her, and have Yao Xi use the same methods to serve Your Majesty? That would still be revealing what happened between her and Tang Huaili!
“This slave-girl does not know how to enlighten him. Please, Your Majesty, ask someone else!” Yuanqian refused firmly.
Wan Bi nodded slightly. “Then this bereaved one won’t make things difficult for Gugu. In any case, we’re going to Qianqing Palace shortly—let your Tang Huaili take the trouble to enlighten Yao Xi instead!”
“Your Majesty…” Yuanqian’s eyebrows drooped in misery. Her Majesty was clearly threatening her! “This slave-girl will go.” That Her Majesty had taken Yao Xi as a male favorite was something Yuanqian had never expected. Why take a eunuch as a male favorite? But Her Majesty had never served the Late Emperor—she’d been a virgin for over ten years since entering the palace. At Her Majesty’s age, it was natural to start thinking about such things.
She also understood why Her Majesty wanted her to instruct Yao Xi. Her Majesty didn’t actually understand those matters, and it wasn’t proper for a mistress to be the one initiating. If it were the Emperor, that would be one thing, but the Empress Dowager was a maiden. Since Her Majesty didn’t understand, and if Yao Xi didn’t either, the two of them would be stuck.
“Thank you for your trouble, Gugu. That child is slow-witted—don’t speak too indirectly.” Wan Bi waved for Yuanqian to go to the duty room to instruct Yao Xi. She was looking forward to the little castrated donkey after he’d been enlightened. She’d taken him as a male favorite to have him serve her—how could she always be the one initiating? Besides, that reserved, stoic expression of his, unmoved by beauty, really made her blood boil just looking at it.
Wan Bi’s mind drifted to the way women in the harem had fawned over two generations of emperors—sometimes seductive, sometimes charming. She wondered what the little castrated donkey would look like when he actively tried to please her. Whatever he looked like, it would be fine—as long as he wasn’t like a piece of wood at Lanye Pool, completely unmoved.
Yao Xi was packing her luggage in the duty room. There wasn’t much—just a stack of silver notes and two sets of clothes. Her Majesty was true to her word. She’d said she’d reward silver notes, and sure enough, someone had delivered them shortly after. Holding the silver notes, Yao Xi grinned so wide her mouth wouldn’t close. This money was enough to last her a lifetime.
She was secretly rejoicing when she heard a knock.
Yao Xi asked warily, “Who is it?” As she spoke, she quickly shoved her luggage into the cabinet, then walked to the door as if nothing had happened and lifted the latch. “Gugu Yuanqian?” Wasn’t Gugu busy with the reconstruction at Ning’an Palace? How did she have time to come over? Yao Xi suspiciously ushered Yuanqian inside.
Yuanqian’s face was flushed red as a monkey’s bottom. Teach a eunuch how to serve his mistress in bed? Why didn’t Her Majesty find a eunuch who was in a duishi relationship with a palace maid to handle this task? How could she, a woman, discuss such things with a eunuch! “Gugu heard that Her Majesty has taken you in, and came to offer congratulations.”
Yao Xi offered Yuanqian the only chair in the room, poured her a cup of tea, and sat herself on the bed at a distance. “Thank you, Gugu.”
“Gugu also has a few words of advice for you…” Having accepted the task, she had to carry it out. Such was the helplessness of being a servant. Yuanqian lowered her head, not daring to look at Yao Xi, and said quietly, “You must be more proactive when serving Her Majesty in that regard. It’s rare that Her Majesty favors you and doesn’t mind that you’re a eunuch. It’s just that eunuchs conduct bedroom matters differently from ordinary men…” Yuanqian put aside her embarrassment and taught everything she could.
Yao Xi listened seriously, growing more terrified with every word. What Gugu said could be summarized as: even though she didn’t have a certain part, she could use many other body parts to bring Her Majesty pleasure…
Good heavens! Her Majesty was dead set on having her!
Gugu Yuanqian was a conscientious teacher. She didn’t just pass on methods and techniques—she also shared some little tricks to spice up the atmosphere. “Do you remember?” Gugu Yuanqian asked awkwardly.
“Thank you, Gugu.” Yao Xi didn’t pay much attention—she listened and let it pass. She wouldn’t have any use for it anyway. “I’ll see Gugu out. Her Majesty said we’re going to Qianqing Palace, so I need to go serve.” Escaping the palace—now her only hope lay with her noble sister.
Wan Bi had been looking forward to it, but when Yao Xi returned to serve, she was still the same as before. Disappointment crept in.
Did Yuanqian not explain clearly? Or was the little castrated donkey truly stupid beyond saving? Or maybe he was shy during the day and would save his newly learned skills for nighttime? With that thought, Wan Bi began looking forward to nightfall.
The little castrated donkey’s love for her had been buried deep for so long. Now that he was officially her male favorite, why keep hiding it?
Emperor Ming Cheng had been up since early morning talking with Wan Bi, then attending morning court and eating lunch. Half the day had passed without a moment’s rest. He’d wanted to take a short nap at noon, but he wanted even more to speak with Noble Lady Lan. In the afternoon he had mountains of state affairs to handle, several ministers to meet with—he might even be busy until late at night.
But even if he wasn’t busy with state affairs at night, he wouldn’t dare stay at Qianqing Palace. The night was seductive, the beauty beside him, yet he could do nothing. Every time he tried to touch Noble Lady Lan, she would avoid him—not from shyness or disgust. Her evasion seemed more like instinct. He’d asked her why she would risk returning to his side yet still avoid him.
Noble Lady Lan only smiled faintly and said: When this subject-concubine was in the Cold Palace, she heard that Your Majesty was doing well. This subject-concubine’s return allows her to see Your Majesty daily—that is enough. Your Majesty should remain as you were before. The imperial family needs many branches and leaves; this subject-concubine dares not hope to monopolize Your Majesty’s body. Your Majesty’s heart is enough.
Hearing this, he finally understood—she was angry with him. Not long after Noble Lady Lan entered the Cold Palace, he had begun favoring Beauty Yu. Favoring concubines was natural for him; he was the Son of Heaven, with no need to suppress himself. But Noble Lady Lan loved him so deeply—of course she would mind. Her refusal to let him touch her was perhaps because she found him dirty for having touched other women!
He didn’t lack women to serve in his bed. There was no need to force Noble Lady Lan. Just playing chess and talking like this was fine. Noble Lady Lan was at least gentle and attentive to him, and her heart was with him. Thinking this way, he was much more fortunate than the Late Emperor, who had fallen into the hands of that mad wench Wan Bi. Back then, Wan Bi had lost her temper at the Late Emperor constantly, and until the Late Emperor passed away, that wench had never once been moved by him.
If the Late Emperor knew he’d ultimately lost to a little eunuch, he’d probably be so angry he’d jump right out of his grave!
Tang Huaili hadn’t seen Yuanqian since the night of the fire at Ning’an Palace. Their planned boat outing had come to nothing. Hearing that the Empress Dowager had come again, he went to the entrance to wait, gazing expectantly. But the one accompanying Her Majesty was still that little eunuch named Yao, not Yuanqian. Tang Huaili was disappointed. In the past, he’d actually looked forward to the Empress Dowager coming to Qianqing Palace to talk with the Emperor.
“Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager has arrived.”
Tang Huaili had barely finished reporting when Wan Bi entered the hall, leaning on Yao Xi’s arm. Inside, she saw Noble Lady Lan playing chess with Emperor Ming Cheng. She smiled and pulled Yao Xi’s arm as she said to Emperor Ming Cheng, “Didn’t Your Majesty say you’d take a look for this bereaved one? This bereaved one has brought the person for Your Majesty.”
Noble Lady Lan rose to pay respects to the Empress Dowager, still holding the chess piece she hadn’t yet placed. Seeing her younger brother dressed as a young gentleman instead of eunuch attire, her nose stung. In her distraction, the chess piece slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. If the Yao family hadn’t suffered such misfortune, her brother would have always looked like this—perhaps even betrothed to some young lady by now.
“This is the eunuch the Empress Dowager has taken as a male favorite?” Emperor Ming Cheng looked at Yao Xi’s slight frame and couldn’t help frowning.
The appearance was handsome, even somewhat similar to Noble Lady Lan, but he seemed shorter than other eunuchs, and his body was thin. His movements were like a girl’s too. If this eunuch were a woman, he would genuinely offer some compliments. But with that appearance and that figure, being male made all those qualities into flaws.
“Uh…” Emperor Ming Cheng didn’t know how to evaluate. He felt that Wan Bi’s taste being this poor was actually an affirmation of both him and his father. No wonder the Late Emperor’s efforts had been useless—turns out Wan Bi liked this type, liked them feminine and delicate.
Yao Shuanglan personally heard the Emperor say her brother was the Empress Dowager’s male favorite, and personally saw the Empress Dowager gazing at her brother with ambiguous eyes. Longyi, oh Longyi! Yao Shuanglan looked with heartache at her brother, now reduced to being the Empress Dowager’s plaything. She looked over and saw her brother also looking at her with a face full of distress, and her heart ached even more.
Wan Bi spoke with Emperor Ming Cheng while secretly glancing at Noble Lady Lan. My, my! The little vixen’s face had gone pale with anger. Look at that heartbroken expression—this vixen really was thinking about her little castrated donkey. “Little Yaozi!” Wan Bi looked at Noble Lady Lan and said to Yao Xi, “Peel a lychee for this bereaved one.”
Yao Xi had no choice but to walk to the washstand behind Noble Lady Lan, rinse her hands with clean water, then take a lychee from the fruit plate, carefully peel it, and hold it to the Empress Dowager’s lips. She bowed and said, “Please partake, Your Majesty.”
Wan Bi very deliberately reached out and grabbed Yao Xi’s slender wrist, cast a bewitching glance at Noble Lady Lan, then opened her mouth and took the lychee inside, her tongue deliberately or accidentally licking Yao Xi’s fingertips that were wet with lychee juice. After eating the flesh, she seductively spat the seed into Yao Xi’s palm.
Yao Xi was about to break out in a cold sweat from fright. Right in front of the Emperor! Your Majesty, do you dare to be a little more restrained? If the Emperor thinks I seduced you into betraying the Late Emperor, he’ll kill me!
Emperor Ming Cheng was seeing Wan Bi act like this for the first time. He almost threw up the lunch he’d just eaten. Perhaps this was the difference between women and family—when concubines in the harem did this, he found it alluring. When Wan Bi did it… aside from wanting to vomit, he also wanted to hit her! That mad wench Wan Bi—what illness was she acting out of now?
Yao Shuanglan looked away, unable to bear watching. To others, this was the Empress Dowager favoring Eunuch Yao. To her, it was an insult to her brother. What worried her most was that after being taken by the Empress Dowager, it would be harder for her brother to leave the palace openly. The Empress Dowager might release a servant from the palace, but she would never release a male favorite.
Yao Xi didn’t have a chance to speak with Noble Lady Lan, but if she didn’t escape tonight it would be too late. Gugu Yuanqian seeking her out was definitely on the Empress Dowager’s orders. The techniques and methods Gugu Yuanqian had taught her were clearly for serving Her Majesty tonight!
“All of you step out. We have words for the Empress Dowager.” Emperor Ming Cheng said to everyone.
Yao Xi was just worrying about not having a chance to speak with Noble Lady Lan, and now the opportunity had come. She followed everyone toward the hall entrance, deliberately walking slowly, waiting for Noble Lady Lan to come over.
Yao Shuanglan understood too. After paying respects to the Emperor and Empress Dowager, she quickened her pace to catch up with Yao Xi. The other maids and eunuchs walked quickly and were already ahead. After Yao Shuanglan caught up with Yao Xi, she slowed her pace, and the two walked side by side.
The opportunity was rare. Yao Xi said urgently, “Noble Lady, I must leave the palace before tonight.” She still didn’t dare call her Noble Lady Lan sister. Before she left, she would write a letter to Noble Lady Lan explaining everything she knew.
“At Longyi Palace. I’ll be waiting.” Yao Shuanglan said quickly and then walked ahead of Yao Xi. Speaking here was too dangerous—she couldn’t let others see her having too much contact with her brother.
Inside the hall, Wan Bi asked Emperor Ming Cheng, “What does Your Majesty wish to say to this bereaved one?”
“At morning court, Yang Qishang asked Us and the Empress Dowager to grant him three more days.” Emperor Ming Cheng said. “We didn’t agree immediately. We said We would ask the Empress Dowager’s wishes—after all, the assassin entered Ning’an Palace.”
“Agreed.” Wan Bi nodded. “Let the Zhu family be glorious for two more days!”
“Is the Empress Dowager certain it’s the Zhu family?” Emperor Ming Cheng felt somewhat bitter inside. He and the Empress had been husband and wife for many years, and Zhu Xiangchang was a veteran of two reigns.
“Eight or nine chances out of ten. The truth will be known once we see what Yang Qishang’s investigation uncovers. The Zhu family won’t be wrongly accused.” Wan Bi idly fiddled with the chess pieces on the board.
Emperor Ming Cheng quickly reached out to stop Wan Bi, but the game was already in disarray. “We hadn’t finished yet! We were almost winning.”
“You’re the white pieces?” Wan Bi picked up a white piece and showed a gratified expression—the Emperor’s chess skills had improved!
Emperor Ming Cheng said without confidence, “Black pieces…”
“Tch.” Wan Bi teased, “You really have the nerve to say you were almost winning. Clearly white was about to win. And if she hadn’t been letting you win, you would have lost long ago.”
The two were chatting when Tang Huaili suddenly announced loudly from outside the hall, “Your Majesty, something terrible has happened! Lady Lin has had an incident!”
The smiles vanished from both Emperor Ming Cheng’s and Wan Bi’s faces. Emperor Ming Cheng didn’t have many children, which had to do with his not favoring many women, so he especially cherished the child Lady Lin was carrying. Wan Bi thought of Emperor Ming Cheng as her own son, so naturally she also thought of Lady Lin’s child as her own grandchild. Hearing something had suddenly happened, she went along as well.
Tang Huaili supported Emperor Ming Cheng, Yao Xi supported the Empress Dowager, and Noble Lady Lan also went.
The imperial physician had already arrived. Seeing the Emperor and Empress Dowager, he knelt on the ground and shook his head. “Lady Lin and the little prince are both gone.”
Lady Lin lay peacefully on the bed, her pale, thin hands folded over her slightly protruding belly. The autumn-fragrance-colored, gold-woven, auspicious-unicorn silk robe made her fingers appear even whiter. Whether it was the fabric making them look so, or whether dead people were simply that pale, was hard to say.
Yao Xi didn’t dare look at Lady Lin’s face. When someone who had been able to speak and laugh and rage and scold you just days ago now lay dead before you, the sight was especially jarring.
“Speak. How did she die?” Emperor Ming Cheng helped Wan Bi sit in the chairs by the bed, his voice weary with grief.
“Poison!” The imperial physician answered with certainty.
Emperor Ming Cheng gripped Wan Bi’s hand tightly, trembling. “Seal the palace! Investigate for Us!”
Wan Bi held Emperor Ming Cheng’s hand with heartache and said to everyone, “Find out everything Lady Lin ate, drank, used, and smelled! Imperial physician, you go along and determine what caused the poisoning, what kind of poison it was, and at what time it was administered! Also, search all the servants in this palace, and search the rooms thoroughly.”
“This humble official obeys the decree.” The imperial physician accepted the order and withdrew.
Empress Zhu arrived late. By the time she came, Lady Lin’s palace gates were already sealed. She had to wait for them to open the doors before she could enter. Inside Lady Lin’s sleeping hall, seeing the Empress Dowager and Emperor both present, Zhu Shi hurriedly paid her respects. When she rose, she glanced at Wan Bi, then quickly looked away in fear.
The days her father had given her to kill Wan Bi were running out.
She had no way out. From the moment her father sent an assassin into Ning’an Palace, she’d had no way out. It was only a matter of time before Yang Qishang uncovered the truth. When that happened, the Empress Dowager wouldn’t spare the Zhu family—wouldn’t even spare her. The Zhu family’s assassin had infiltrated the heavily guarded palace. Would the Empress Dowager suspect that she had conspired with her father to let the assassin in?
She had to kill. But how?
After paying respects, Zhu Shi looked at Lady Lin on the bed. Lady Lin’s death was nothing but beneficial to her—she couldn’t even feign sadness.
After a while, two eunuchs who had followed Emperor Ming Cheng from Qianqing Palace dragged in a eunuch from Lady Lin’s palace. “Reporting to Your Majesty, this eunuch tried to climb over the wall and escape. We captured him.”
“Is this the poisoner?” Emperor Ming Cheng’s gaze turned cold.
“We servants do not know. However…” The two eunuchs looked at each other, seeming to have words they didn’t dare speak.
“Speak!” Emperor Ming Cheng shouted.
The older of the two eunuchs said tremblingly, “Reporting to Your Majesty. Her Majesty ordered us servants to search all the eunuchs in this palace. When we were about to search this eunuch, he went mad and tried to climb over the wall to escape. When we servants chased him, we only managed to grab his trouser leg… and accidentally pulled his pants off.” The eunuch finally got to the key point after speaking at length: “This fellow is a fake eunuch who wasn’t properly castrated!”
Emperor Ming Cheng fell silent for a long time. His grief faded; anger rose.
He had only favored Lady Lin once, and she’d gotten pregnant. Now it seemed the child might not even be his. This was far more serious than poisoning. Palace eunuchs were examined every three years specifically to prevent those who hadn’t been fully cleaned from causing chaos in the palace. He’d never expected there to be fish that slipped through the net.
Emperor Ming Cheng felt a chill run through him. With so many eunuchs in the harem, if even a few still had their roots…
“Pass Our decree! Order all eunuchs to wait in the courtyards of their respective palaces according to the name registry. Tang Huaili! You personally arrange capable men to examine each one thoroughly. If any more slip through the net, We will hold you responsible!” Emperor Ming Cheng pointed at the fake eunuch who had been dragged in. “Take this beast away and interrogate him severely—see if he had any improper relations with Lady Lin. The poisoning matter can wait. Immediately examine all eunuchs here. Anyone who still has his roots, arrest them all!”
Yao Xi stood quietly behind the Empress Dowager, her heart turning cold at the Emperor’s decree.
Her Majesty would surely think a simple body examination was no big deal—she wouldn’t help her. Noble Lady Lan thought she was the young master Yao who had become a eunuch—she wouldn’t help her either. A fake eunuch having relations with a palace consort was a grave matter. Those pathetic excuses of hers could only fool the soft-hearted Empress Dowager. They wouldn’t hold up against something this serious.
0 Comments