Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 71

The Empress Dowager Refuses

Yao Xi took advantage of returning to the duty room to wash up. She changed into a fresh cotton pouch, tidied herself, and went to the dining hall to serve the Empress Dowager her morning meal. Her Majesty seemed, on account of her merit in defending the imperial person, not to be angry about her attempt to sneak out of the palace.

That was a promising sign.

            

If she sweetened her tongue a little and played the pitiful card, perhaps she could beg the Empress Dowager to release her from the palace properly — that would be far more secure than sneaking out. But before that, she still had to ask Her Majesty about one other thing: the whereabouts of those 80,000 taels in silver notes. The thought made Yao Xi feel she was pushing her luck. It was magnanimous enough that Her Majesty wasn’t holding a grudge; to come begging for this and that on top of it was too much.

Upon entering the dining hall, Yao Xi stood far off, not daring to approach. Though Her Majesty had ordered her to wash up and come serve, she still remembered how the Empress Dowager had looked at her yesterday — full of revulsion and fear. She had a favor to beg; she didn’t dare court Her Majesty’s displeasure by asking for trouble.

“Come here!” Wan Bi glanced up at Yao Xi.

            

“This slave wouldn’t dare.” Yao Xi didn’t move. She kept her head bowed. “This slave is wounded and wouldn’t dare frighten Your Majesty again…”

A corner of Wan Bi’s mouth curved. She immediately assumed a stern expression. “When this bereaved one tells you to do something, you do it.” Sometimes she found Yao Xi’s backtalk amusing; other times she found it exasperating that even the smallest instruction required a combination of coaxing and threats.

“This slave obeys.” Only then did Yao Xi walk over. She stood at the Empress Dowager’s side and picked up the chopsticks to serve Her Majesty.

            

“Sit!” Wan Bi said again. She was a little weary. Yao Xi was the type who wouldn’t move unless prodded. “You weren’t so polite yesterday, were you?” Yesterday, not only had Yao Xi shown no restraint at the table, she’d had the audacity to press close despite knowing full well the Empress Dowager found her revolting.

Only later did Wan Bi realize that Yao Xi hadn’t been trying to disgust her on purpose. She’d known she would be leaving the palace that night and had seized the pretext of a joke to hold her — to leave herself something to remember during the decades of bitter longing that lay ahead.

Ah—

            

“This slave wouldn’t dare. This slave’s unauthorized departure has wronged Your Majesty. This slave wouldn’t presume to share Your Majesty’s table.” All of Yao Xi’s usual cockiness had vanished. She was more deferential to the Empress Dowager than she had ever been.

Amusement returned to Wan Bi’s face. The implication of Yao Xi’s words — she’d realized her mistake and wouldn’t try to leave the palace again? Her mood was just brightening when Yao Xi added, “If this slave wished to leave the palace, this slave should have requested it from Your Majesty properly. Your Majesty is so good-natured and considerate of those below you — naturally, Your Majesty would have granted this slave’s request.” Yao Xi’s plan was to flatter the Empress Dowager so high that Her Majesty would be too embarrassed to refuse.

She was still too naive. Where the Empress Dowager was concerned, embarrassment was not a known concept.

            

“This bereaved one has a good temper? Lies come so easily to your lips. No need to flatter this bereaved one. If your heart is set on leaving the palace, this bereaved one has no reason to stop you.” Wan Bi delivered these words and saw the delight bloom across Yao Xi’s face, which only made her more displeased — though she kept smiling. “It’s merely that the 80,000 taels in silver notes this bereaved one bestowed upon you was a betrothal gift¹ for taking you as a male favorite. Since you refuse to be this bereaved one’s male favorite, it stands to reason that the betrothal gift should be returned in full, wouldn’t you agree? This bereaved one can hardly lose both the person and the money, can she?”

Wan Bi watched the delight drain from Yao Xi’s face and sneered inwardly. Little thing. You think those pitiful schemes of yours are any match for this bereaved one?

When Yao Xi heard Her Majesty say she was willing to release her, she nearly dropped to her knees in gratitude. But then came the demand to return the 80,000 taels, and her heart felt as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped over her in the dead of winter. The Empress Dowager’s logic was sound — if she was leaving the palace and wouldn’t be Her Majesty’s male favorite, of course she had to return what she’d been given. But those 80,000 taels in silver notes were lost!

            

“This slave was just about to report to Your Majesty. During last night’s struggle with the assassins, this slave seems to have lost the silver notes…” Yao Xi said, her voice full of grievance. “This slave wonders if any jiejie or eunuch happened to find them and turn them in to Your Majesty?”

Wan Bi fixed Yao Xi with an icy glare. “What do you mean, ‘lost during the struggle with the assassins’? You’re saying if you hadn’t been defending this bereaved one, you wouldn’t have lost them — so in the end, it’s this bereaved one’s fault? And what’s this about someone finding the silver notes and turning them in? Are you implying this bereaved one received your lost property and deliberately concealed it from you? Yao Xi, what audacity!”

“This slave would never harbor such thoughts! It is entirely this slave’s fault, and has nothing to do with Your Majesty.” Yao Xi dropped to her knees at once.

            

Talking to Her Majesty was truly exhausting. One moment of carelessness and it was catastrophe!

Wan Bi was only teasing Yao Xi. She also worried about frightening her out of her wits — what fun would it be if Yao Xi never dared talk back to her again? A slap had to be followed by a sweet date.² Wan Bi adopted a gentle, affectionate tone. “Stop kneeling at every little thing. Come sit down.”

Yao Xi had no choice but to obey the Empress Dowager’s order. She sat down next to Her Majesty.

            

Wan Bi amiably offered Yao Xi the silver chopsticks. “Here. The usual — taste-test for poison³ for this bereaved one.”

The color drained from Yao Xi’s face.

Wan Bi, thinking that Yao Xi needed to nourish her body and shouldn’t be frightened out of her appetite, picked up the chopsticks and took a bite of food herself. “This bereaved one is teasing you. Someone has already tested it.” She took the silver chopsticks from Yao Xi’s hand and pointed at a bowl of congee warming on the stove. “Drink that. Not a drop left!”

            

Her spirits kept swinging between heaven and hell. Yao Xi felt it was only a matter of time before the fright gave her a heart condition. She used a cloth napkin to protect her hands, lifted the steaming bowl of congee from the stove, and bent her head to eat. The congee seemed to contain red beans and jujubes. She disliked the taste of jujubes and had difficulty swallowing.

As Yao Xi was eating her congee, Wan Bi — who had set aside her own meal to watch her — said in a leisurely tone, “When the eunuch returns the silver to this bereaved one, this bereaved one will consent to release you from the palace.”

“Cough, cough…” Yao Xi nearly choked to death. It seemed there was no way out except to sneak away. Even if she sold herself, she couldn’t fetch 80,000 taels of pure silver!

            

Wan Bi reached over and rubbed her back. “Don’t be so anxious, eunuch. This bereaved one has calculated it for you — it’s not entirely impossible. A Junior Director’s monthly salary plus the monthly silver from this bereaved one’s palace comes to several taels a month!” Wan Bi amused herself for a moment, then continued, “If you don’t leave the palace, you’re still this bereaved one’s male favorite. For every night you serve in this bereaved one’s bed, this bereaved one can pay you an additional…” She counted on her fingers. “Two taels. Don’t think it too little. The most popular courtesan at Xiangmanlou only earns twenty taels a night, but she can play the zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting — compose poetry and match couplets. You’re rather lacking in the arts department, and this bereaved one is your only patron. Naturally, the price must be lower.”

“…” Yao Xi had nothing to say. Her mental arithmetic was excellent. At two taels a night, even if she served Her Majesty every single night, plus rewards and salary with the fractions rounded off, it would take at least a hundred years to earn 80,000 taels! And that was aside from the fact that she couldn’t serve in the bedchamber at all — the longer she stayed, the greater the risk of being exposed. Just yesterday the Empress Dowager had found her body repulsive. Today, for some reason, Her Majesty was touching her hand, rubbing her back — showing not the slightest sign of disgust.

The moment Her Majesty felt the stirrings of spring passion would be the day her blood dyed the palace red! The blood in question, of course, being from her neck.

            

“Does Your Majesty mean to release this slave from the palace in a hundred years?” Yao Xi had finished the congee. Her stomach was warm and comfortable, but her heart was weighed down by a boulder — a boulder with three large characters carved into it: “Eighty Thousand Taels”!

Leave the palace in a hundred years? More like leave in a coffin.

“Heh~ It won’t take that long.” Wan Bi continued toying with her. “Did you forget? If you perform your duties beautifully or render great service, this bereaved one gives additional rewards.”

            

Hope ignited in Yao Xi’s eyes. Her Majesty was genuinely generous when bestowing rewards. Earning money wasn’t really about repaying the 80,000 taels — it was about saving silver for life outside the palace. That debt to Her Majesty was unpayable. She’d just have to default on it.

The thought of rendering service made Yao Xi shamelessly press her advantage. “Then this slave dares to ask Your Majesty… does defending the imperial person count as service?”

Wan Bi dotingly poked Yao Xi on the forehead. “Of course it does! And a great service at that. Not only will this bereaved one overlook your unauthorized departure from the palace — this bereaved one shall reward you handsomely.” With a wicked smile, Wan Bi rose to her feet and led Yao Xi into the main hall.

            

She’d been so busy watching Yao Xi eat that she hadn’t eaten much herself. But she’d ordered a snack from the small kitchen last night while waiting for Imperial Physician Fu to arrive, so she wasn’t very hungry this morning.

Yao Xi followed behind the Empress Dowager, her heart bursting with joy. Her Majesty truly was her savior — every time she fell into desperate straits, Her Majesty appeared to pull her out. Then she suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Her Majesty was so good to her, and yet all she could think about was leaving Her Majesty.

But the thought of receiving Her Majesty’s reward soon lifted her spirits again.

            

“You have saved this bereaved one twice. Only a priceless treasure can match your illustrious service.” Wan Bi walked to the writing desk, picked up a brush, and dashed off four bold characters in a single flow: Loyal Liver, Righteous Gall⁴.

“Little Yaozi, come receive your reward!” Wan Bi set down the brush with a smile and looked at the dumbfounded Yao Xi. “What’s wrong? Dissatisfied with this bereaved one’s reward?”

“This slave thanks Your Majesty for the reward.” Yao Xi knelt to receive it, but her heart was full of grievance.

            

So this was the priceless treasure. Her Majesty was too stingy — where were the large gold bars? The big silver ingots? Instead she was rewarded with a piece of calligraphy she didn’t dare sell! Hmph!

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Emperor Ming Cheng came to see the Empress Dowager only after the morning court session had concluded.

He hadn’t slept much the night before. Word had arrived at midnight that assassins had breached the Empress Dowager’s palace again. He’d abandoned everything and rushed over with the Empress, only for the Empress Dowager to send him back and tell him to rest and come again tomorrow. How could he rest? The investigation into the fake eunuchs had gone on until midnight, turning up one more. And before he went to morning court at the Gate of Supreme Harmony⁵, Tang Huaili had reported that yet another had been discovered near dawn.

            

Three fake eunuchs in total…

Imperial consorts didn’t have many opportunities to receive the Emperor’s grace, and conceiving an imperial heir was no easy matter. It was inevitable that some would harbor wicked designs — after receiving imperial favor, they would couple with another man in hopes of conceiving a child to pass off as the Emperor’s own.

Those three fake eunuchs were only the ones caught this time. Who knew how many such things had happened in the palace before? Emperor Ming Cheng suspected that among all his children, very few were actually his. He recalled how, some time ago, Wan Bi had told him that Feng Xin didn’t look like him. He’d defended Feng Xin, arguing that he himself didn’t resemble the Late Emperor — did that mean he wasn’t the Late Emperor’s son either?

            

Wan Bi had teased him, telling him to send someone to investigate — perhaps he’d be surprised. At the time he’d dismissed her words as nonsense. Now, thinking back… Emperor Ming Cheng felt a headache coming on.

Wan Bi, having just finished bestowing the calligraphy upon Yao Xi, instructed her, “Have it mounted and hang it in the duty room.”

Mounted? Yao Xi’s head swelled with dismay. She was flat broke — where would she find the money for mounting? And this was the Empress Dowager’s own calligraphy. It would have to be done by a master at Rongbao Zhai⁶…

            

Heavens! She might as well die of poverty!

The ink had dried. Yao Xi went to Her Majesty’s side and carefully rolled up the paper. A palace maid announced from outside that the Emperor had arrived. Wan Bi pinched Yao Xi’s cheek and said, “Go on back. Without this bereaved one’s order, you are not to leave the palace. As for the mounting, find a eunuch who’s going out on errands to handle it for you.”

The moment Emperor Ming Cheng entered the hall, he saw Wan Bi wearing a radiant smile as she fondled the cheek of that little eunuch called Yao Xi.

            

Unbearable to watch! He awkwardly looked away, waiting until the eunuch had left before approaching Wan Bi and taking a seat beside her.

“Empress Dowager, could you show a little restraint? It reflects poorly,” said Emperor Ming Cheng, haggard from a sleepless night.

“Your Majesty could also show a little restraint. Which ignorant consort served your bed last night that she’s left you in such a state?” Wan Bi threw his words right back at him.

            

Emperor Ming Cheng was in no mood to trade barbs. “Does the Empress Dowager know anything about the origins of last night’s assassins?”

Wan Bi shook her head and sat down at his right hand. “Just investigate who’s been smuggling people into the palace recently and you’ll know. Those assassins were not palace people.”

Anger showed on Emperor Ming Cheng’s face. The inner palace was supposed to be heavily guarded — yet fake eunuchs could get in, assassins could get in. What was the point of the palace gates? Mere decoration?

            

“On another note. We came not only to check on the Empress Dowager’s well-being, but to inform you of something. After the morning court session, We summoned Yang Qishang. He has discovered that the assassins who attacked Ning’an Palace last time were indeed sent by Zhu Xiangchang. Ironclad evidence!”

“Mm~” Wan Bi asked, “Did Yang Qishang determine whether the Empress colluded with Zhu Xiangchang to deliberately let the assassins into the palace?”

Emperor Ming Cheng shook his head. “The Empress had nothing to do with it. The assassin killed a eunuch who was leaving the palace on errands, stole his token, and slipped in.”

            

“Then confiscate the Zhu family’s property⁷.” Wan Bi said it as casually as if remarking on the weather. She would finally learn how much wealth Zhu Xiangchang had amassed.

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