Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 128
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager Refuses
The next morning, Yao Xi woke up again while the sky was still a dim gray.
She shifted her body, intending to get out of bed, only to find she couldn’t move at all.
“Don’t move. Sleep a little longer,” Wan Bi murmured with her eyes closed, her arms tightly encircling Yao Xi’s waist, refusing to let her go.
Yao Xi turned around with a smile and gently caressed the Empress Dowager’s face. “Your Highness, please sleep. If I leave early, I can still make it back in time to accompany you for the midday meal.” She gently tried to pry away the Empress Dowager’s arms from her waist, only to find Her Highness holding on even tighter.
“Give me a kiss before you go.” Wan Bi waited with closed eyes for Yao Xi’s kiss. Her lips grew tired of pouting before Yao Xi finally obliged, prompting her to open her eyes and lean in herself.
Yao Xi leaned back slightly and gave a sheepish laugh. “Your Highness… I haven’t rinsed my mouth yet…”
“…” Wan Bi froze. She recalled that the last time Yao Xi had eaten a pastry she had bitten into, the girl had also worn a reluctant face. “You’re turning your nose up at this bereaved one again?!” In her entire life, she’d never been disdained by anyone, let alone twice by the same person—because anyone who dared to disdain her would never have survived to do it a second time!
“No, no, no!” Yao Xi quickly explained. “I’m turning my nose up at myself.” She had kissed Her Highness right after waking up, and the woman was always fragrant. The high and mighty masters seemed to consume body-scenting pills, apply fragrant ointments, and even bathe in heavily perfumed waters. In such an environment, one’s body was bound to be cured with sweetness. Indeed, the Empress Dowager’s body was so fragrant and sweet she was practically a human cake.
But she herself lived rough! She couldn’t smell her own breath, and she was truly terrified of disgusting the Empress Dowager.
“Hmph!” Wan Bi looked entirely unconvinced.
Seeing that words were useless, Yao Xi immediately leaned in and kissed her. She planted a deep, heavy peck and prepared to pull away, only to be yanked right back into the Empress Dowager’s embrace…
“Your Highness, I really must go.” Yao Xi feared that if she continued to linger, she would completely lose herself in the warmth of this fragrant bedchamber and its tender traps.
“Remember what you promised this bereaved one. If you can’t earn silver from your storytelling, you must obediently come back.” Wan Bi gazed at Yao Xi, cupping her chin as her thumb gently brushed across Yao Xi’s lips, which were slightly swollen from her kisses.
“Mm-hmm.” Yao Xi sat up and began arranging the clothes that Her Highness had rumpled. She took off her inner garments, shielding her chest with the quilt as she picked up the chest band that sat folded to the side. The chest binding cloth made it truly hard to breathe, especially now that summer had arrived, making everything stuffy and hot. Lacking any opportunity to purchase a young lady’s undergarments, Yao Xi had crafted a chest band herself out of fabric gifted by Her Highness.
It was a bit ugly, but highly practical. She’d made it incredibly snug, and wearing it successfully concealed her chest. The only drawback was that the fabric Her Highness had rewarded her with was meant for outer robes—thick and stiff, embroidered with blooming flowers in gold thread. Such material was entirely unsuited for undergarments…
Wan Bi frowned. “Can that possibly be comfortable to wear? Are you foolish?” She’d noticed that Yao Xi’s chest always had small red marks, but she’d assumed she had gripped her too hard and left those bruises herself. Last night, her heart had ached so much for the girl that she hadn’t even dared to touch her there.
As it turned out, they were chafed by this wretched piece of clothing!
“Heheh. My craftsmanship isn’t very good, but if a eunuch like me went out to buy a girl’s undergarments, I’d definitely be treated like some pervert. I had no choice but to make it myself.” Yao Xi sheepishly fastened the buttons of her chest band.
Wan Bi rose, stepped over Yao Xi, and climbed off the bed. Slipping into her shoes, she walked out to the bedchamber, returning shortly with a pile of traditional bodices1 in her hands.
“Silly girl. If you didn’t have any, why didn’t you ask this bereaved one?” Wan Bi unbuttoned Yao Xi’s chest band with an aching heart, took out a water-green bodice, and personally fastened it around her, saying, “Wear this one of mine for now. When you return, we’ll measure you, and this bereaved one will have people make you new ones. The most important thing about clothes is that they’re comfortable. This bereaved one only allows you to keep playing a eunuch because I think it’s better to avoid unnecessary trouble. But if you dare wrong yourself over this, you might as well gracefully return to being a girl.”
To think she was wearing Her Highness’s undergarments… For some reason, Yao Xi suddenly felt a little shy.
“Your Highness, let me do it myself!” She wasn’t accustomed to being dressed by others, let alone having the Empress Dowager attend to her. Her Highness clearly had no experience; her every movement betrayed her unfamiliarity with the task.
Wan Bi brushed Yao Xi’s hands aside, smoothing down the front of her robe. “Let this bereaved one practice. Otherwise, what’ll happen when you’re sick and old in the future? It’ll be too late for this bereaved one to practice then.”
Old? A trace of bittersweet warmth swelled in Yao Xi’s heart. Looking down at the Empress Dowager’s clumsy hands tying the waistband, she suddenly felt like crying. “Your Highness is the Empress Dowager. You can just command others to do it.”
“Others aren’t allowed to touch you.” Wan Bi finally managed to tie the waistband, smoothed the wrinkles on Yao Xi’s clothes, and stared into her eyes. “Therefore, when this bereaved one dies, I must take you with me. Otherwise, what if you remarry behind this bereaved one’s back?”
“Your Highness…” Yao Xi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Sure enough, any feelings of being moved were strictly temporary.
“This bereaved one is joking.” Wan Bi laughed and tapped the tip of Yao Xi’s nose. “How could this bereaved one possibly die before you?”
Wan Bi had meant it as a joke, but Yao Xi nodded with deep earnestness. “Mm-hmm. Your Highness will definitely live longer than I.”
“Why is that?” Wan Bi asked, a playful grin still hovering on her face.
Because I don’t want to live in a world without you… Yao Xi stared blankly at the Empress Dowager for a moment, her eyes stinging slightly.
Fearing she might actually weep from her own sentimentality, Yao Xi suddenly broke into a cheeky grin. “Because since ancient times, beautiful women have always died young!”
Wan Bi rolled her eyes in mock disgust. “What do you mean by that, Eunuch? Are you calling this bereaved one ugly?”
“Of course not.” Yao Xi pressed close to curry favor, only to be ruthlessly pushed away by the Empress Dowager. She leaned in again, got pushed away again, leaned in once more, and was pushed away yet again…
Over breakfast, after washing up, Wan Bi summoned a palace maid and commanded, “Go to Ning’an Palace and transfer six eunuchs, at least two of whom must know martial arts. Tell the kitchen to use a copper food box and keep the meals warm with charcoal so they don’t go cold. As for the fruits, pastries, and sour prune soup, retrieve some ice from the icehouse to keep them chilled. And the carriage…”
Yao Xi listened, utterly dumbfounded. She was merely going out of the palace to tell a story, not going on an imperial inspection tour… If all of this counted as expenses, she’d save more silver by quietly staying in the palace.
After they finished their morning meal, Wan Bi didn’t go to see Yao Xi off. Keeping up her dignified airs, she sat inside the open main hall, staring anxiously as Yao Xi crossed over the creek.
The very second Yao Xi vanished from sight, Wan Bi already felt an uncontrollable urge to chase after her.
She didn’t believe for a second that Yao Xi could earn any silver. Her lack of interference was purely to let Yao Xi try it for herself and lose heart completely, lest the girl complain that she was unreasonable.
But she’d underestimated how much she would miss Yao Xi.
She’d originally thought that two shichen were nothing and would pass in the blink of an eye. Yet, after enduring her solitude for what felt like an eternity, she believed it was almost time for Yao Xi to return. It was only when she glanced at the water clock that she realized with despair that barely a single ke had passed! Yao Xi’s return remained a distant, hopeless prospect.
Yao Xi never expected that Meng Li’an would be among the eunuchs accompanying her out of the palace.
“This servant greets Junior Director Yao,” Meng Li’an said with a smile, stepping forward to lift the carriage curtain as he saw Yao Xi emerge from Longyi Palace.
Yao Xi was also delighted. “Li’an-di, how did you end up here?”
Meng Li’an gave a silly laugh but didn’t answer.
He’d requested this task from Gugu Liufang today, solely because he’d heard that the one leaving the palace was Yao Xi.
Yesterday morning, he’d made a trip to the Eastern Depot Yamen. The Eastern Depot had already acted against Eunuch Tang, using a very direct method—poisoning. Eunuch Meng had originally arranged for Yao Xi to enter the palace to use her to eliminate both the Yao family and Eunuch Tang in one fell swoop. But ever since the Empress Dowager took Yao Xi into her service, everything had been thrown into disarray.
Seeing that Yao Xi could no longer be used, Eunuch Meng had developed an urge to kill. Yesterday, one of Eunuch Tang’s godsons had already been dealt with. Zheng Dayun was also supposed to be eliminated, but he’d happened to be rescued by the meddling Cao Yue.
“The Empress Dowager is highly suspicious, and Gugu Yuanqian is the same; the underground vault isn’t easily accessible. However, you must have also heard of how favored Yao Xi is before Her Highness, and I happen to have some friendship with him. Godfather might as well keep Yao Xi alive. If we can use him to deal with the Yao family, we will; if not, he can still help us get the ledger. Won’t that be killing two birds with one stone?”
This was how Meng Li’an had explained it to his godfather, Meng Delai. He truly wanted to steal the Empress Dowager’s King of Hell’s ledger, but not for his godfather, Eunuch Meng; he wanted it for himself. He intended to climb his way up by leveraging the secrets of the civil and military officials recorded in that book!
Eunuch Meng wanted the ledger because it held leverage over the Eastern Depot. But what use would it be to steal it now? The Empress Dowager already knew everything. While the Emperor required evidence to convict someone, the Empress Dowager had no such need. Whether Eunuch Meng lived or died was entirely up to the Empress Dowager’s mood. This was precisely why Meng Li’an had chosen to strike out on his own rather than stand with Eunuch Meng. Eunuch Meng was doomed sooner or later!
Even after pleading for Yao Xi at the Eastern Depot Yamen, Meng Li’an was still uneasy. Eunuch Meng would never let him know before killing someone. He would never allow Yao Xi to be killed by the Eastern Depot agents; Yao Xi treated him with genuine kindness, and although he never spoke of it, he remembered every bit of it in his heart.
His temperament was simple: touch a single hair of his, and he’d slaughter your entire family. But if you showed him even a drop of kindness, he’d repay it with a gushing spring.
His desire to use Yao Xi to sneak a look at the ledger was real, but his decision to follow and protect Yao Xi was equally genuine.
There were two carriages. Yao Xi invited Meng Li’an to sit with her in the first, while the other eunuchs took the second.
When they arrived at the teahouse, Yao Xi was utterly stunned.
It seemed the spiritual lives of the capital’s citizens weren’t very rich! She’d anticipated that today’s crowd would be larger than yesterday’s, as those who had come to support her yesterday would surely bring their friends. She simply had never dreamed that the crowd would be so immense that the teahouse couldn’t even hold them all!
As Yao Xi stepped inside, the waiter failed to recognize her and approached apologetically. “Oh, Young Master, there’s no room left. Why don’t you return another day?”
The shopkeeper, being sharp-eyed, rushed over to scold the waiter. “Who do you think our customers are waiting for? Invite the Young Master in this instant! How may I address the Young Master…” The shopkeeper wished to greet Yao Xi, only to suddenly realize he didn’t know her name.
“Uh…” Yao Xi thought for a moment before saying, “My surname is Wan. My given name is Xi.” Tsk-tsk, she finally had a stage name! So happy!
“This way, Young Master Wan. Hot tea and pastries have been prepared for you on the stage.” The shopkeeper was completely immersed in the joy of a full house. He’d bought this teahouse in the capital several years ago, and it had never been this packed.
Some among the eagerly waiting audience recognized Yao Xi and pointed her out to the companions they had brought along. “That’s the young master.”
The social customs of Daxing were open and liberal, so there were many female listeners. The young ladies all blushed at how handsome Yao Xi was.
Girl A: “What a handsome young master!”
Girl B: “Exactly! I wonder which family he belongs to, and if he’s betrothed…”
Man C: “Whether he’s betrothed, I don’t know, but I certainly know you’re already married! Confound it, wife, I shouldn’t have brought you along!”
Yao Xi sat down at the long table on the stage. Looking out at the dense crowd on both the first and second floors, she suddenly felt a touch of stage fright.
“My apologies for making everyone wait.” The moment Yao Xi spoke, the noisy crowd fell completely silent. The teahouse was built so well that the echoes from the stage were loud and crisp. She wasn’t late—in fact, she was a bit early—but she hadn’t expected everyone’s enthusiasm to be so high that they’d arrive before her. Were they really that afraid of missing the story by being late?
Yao Xi finished the short tale from yesterday. While the listeners discussed the ending, she moistened her throat with some tea, waiting for them to quiet down before continuing, “Do you want to hear another? If you do, I’ll tell one.”
“Please tell another, Young Master!”
“This story took place several dynasties ago. It’s about a fake eunuch who snuck into the palace and ended up marrying seven wives…” Yao Xi actually couldn’t remember the exact plot of the novel anymore, so she could only improvise based on scattered memories.
This story sounded exciting right from the start! The listeners’ interest grew even higher.
Just as Yao Xi was describing the Lichun Brothel, a listener seated in front of the stage followed the usual customs of theatergoers and threw a silver ingot onto the stage. Judging by its size, it had to be at least fifty taels. Yao Xi’s eyes glued to it, and she completely forgot about her storytelling.
“What do you think you’re doing?” A young man who looked like a noble master rose in anger, pointing his folding fan at the patron who had thrown the money. “Who do you think you’re insulting with that tiny bit of silver? Look at Young Master Wan’s attire—does he look like someone who’d tell stories for a few pieces of loose silver? Truly vulgar.”
Yao Xi was dumbfounded. But I’m here precisely for the silver…
Amidst the crowd’s rebukes, the patron who had thrown the silver ingot slipped up onto the stage, retrieved it, and apologized to Yao Xi. “Please don’t take offense, Young Master Wan. This is merely a habit I developed from watching operas. I had absolutely no intention of disrespecting you. Please continue, please continue.”
Yao Xi watched longingly as her precious silver baby drifted away, instantly feeling like her state of mind had suddenly been elevated to a much higher plane. Swallowing her tears, she cheerfully resumed recounting the romantic adventures of Wei Xiaobao.
Wan Bi could no longer remember how many times she’d checked the water clock. How could two shichen still not have passed!
“Would Your Highness like to have the meal served?” a palace maid asked warily, seeing the Empress Dowager’s dark expression. She missed Gugu Yuanqian more and more with each passing day. Ever since Yao Xi had taken over serving Her Highness, the Empress Dowager rarely ate her meals on time.
Wan Bi shook her head. Yao Xi had said she would return to join her for the midday meal. In half a shichen at most, Yao Xi would be back. She had to wait.
Half a shichen…
It was so agonizing. The thought of having to endure such an agonizing two-shichen wait every single day made Wan Bi find it even more intolerable.
Whether Yao Xi simply couldn’t bear the solitude and wanted to go out of the palace to play for a few days, or was genuinely stubborn and determined to be self-reliant, she could indulge her!
But there was one condition: Yao Xi wasn’t allowed to leave her side—not for a single moment. If this went on for another two days, she’d go mad!
Yet, she couldn’t leave the palace. Passing through in a carriage was one thing, but actually accompanying Yao Xi to stroll along the streets outside the palace was far too dangerous.
If she couldn’t go out, she would simply bring the marketplace into the palace!
“Transmit this bereaved one’s imperial decree. Order the Directorate of Ceremonial and the Palace Administration Bureau to turn the main palace road into a street market overnight. Whatever the street markets of the capital have, this bereaved one wants as well. As for the shopkeepers and street vendors, have the eunuchs and palace maids play those parts. If there are any artisans with truly clever and interesting crafts, bring them in once their backgrounds have been thoroughly vetted.”
Wan Bi thought with a trace of petulance: Never mind a single street. As long as it keeps Yao Xi by my side, I’ll move an entire city into the palace!
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