Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 41
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
First, Longyi saw her Imperial Brother rising to greet her. Then, she saw Wan Bi, sitting safe and sound on a chair in the courtyard, leisurely enjoying the fire.
Wan Bi had dodged disaster yet again? Tonight was truly full of frustrations. Longyi accepted the cloth a Ning’an Palace maid handed her and wiped the mixture of rain and tears from her face. “I ran over,” she said to Emperor Ming Cheng, “so I got a little wet.”
Emperor Ming Cheng was gratified. He had always hoped Longyi and Wan Bi could let go of their old grievances and live in harmony. Although the two hadn’t had any major disputes over the years, anyone could see they didn’t get along. A large part of the reason was Longyi’s attitude toward Wan Bi. It wasn’t disrespect, precisely—it was just cold.
Longyi was a solitary person, cold to everyone, but especially so to Wan Bi. If she didn’t absolutely have to, she couldn’t even be bothered to speak to her. The Late Empress had once been deposed, and later died of depression; as the Late Empress’s daughter, Longyi naturally blamed Wan Bi for all the misfortunes her mother had suffered.
In Emperor Ming Cheng’s view, however, the problem had always been the Late Emperor. But the Late Emperor was already dead, so there was no one left to blame.
“It was good of you to be concerned for the Empress Dowager’s safety. Come, sit by the fire and warm yourself. We’ll have someone send you back once you’re warm. You can’t stay in wet clothes for long.” Emperor Ming Cheng beckoned Longyi to sit beside him, then took off his own large, wind-blocking cloak and draped it over her shoulders.
While Emperor Ming Cheng was lost in his misplaced sentiment, Wan Bi, observing from the side with a cold eye, felt not a ripple of emotion. In fact, she almost wanted to laugh. Emperor, are you blind? Can’t you see that flash of obvious disappointment on Longyi’s face when she realized this old lady was still alive? Does that look like she was worried I’d die? It’s clear she’s worried I didn’t die!
“Greetings, Empress Dowager.” Longyi gave Wan Bi a perfunctory salute before taking her seat. She was in a terrible mood tonight. She had rushed to Jingling Palace, worried something had happened to Noble Lady Lan, only for the woman to not appreciate it in the least. Worse, all Lan wanted was to return to her Imperial Brother’s side and be his favored concubine. Longyi didn’t believe that Noble Lady Lan, who had refused to serve the Emperor in bed back then even at the cost of being neglected, would be willing to do so now. She was just using her Imperial Brother for the sake of the Yao family.
And if she was going to use someone, why not use her? It didn’t matter if they couldn’t be together. Wouldn’t it be better to continue living a quiet life in the Cold Palace and leave the Yao family’s affairs to her?
Longyi knew Noble Lady Lan had feelings for her, too, and she knew what held her back. An affair between a concubine and a princess… if the Emperor found out, she, as his sister, would get off with a light punishment. But Noble Lady Lan, and even the entire Yao family, could lose their lives. It was because she understood Lan’s predicament that Longyi had been willing to heed her advice and keep her distance.
She would not put Noble Lady Lan in danger for her own selfish desires.
But she was still filled with a sense of grievance. Just now at Jingling Palace, if Noble Lady Lan had so much as said “thank you for coming,” or asked how she had been all this time, she would have been content. She didn’t need any particular outcome. Just knowing that wherever Noble Lady Lan was, she still held a place in her heart—that would have been enough.
But all she had gotten was: “Your Highness the Princess should not have come…”
Saddened and angry, Longyi couldn’t be bothered to put on a pleasant face for Wan Bi.
Wan Bi gave Longyi a kindly smile. “Sit! Ning’an Palace has had its share of trouble before, but this is the first time you’ve come, Longyi.”
“Indeed. So much trouble has befallen Ning’an Palace, yet Her Majesty the Empress Dowager has remained unharmed. Your life is certainly a resilient one. I just wonder if Imperial Father’s death in his prime had anything to do with the Empress Dowager’s resilience?” Longyi shot Wan Bi a sidelong glance, her words dripping with hostility.
On a normal day, Wan Bi would have tolerated her barbs, thinking there was no need to argue with a madwoman. But today, she was in no mood to endure it. Whether it was the wine giving her courage or the sting of a wounded heart, she simply didn’t want to put up with it. Why should everyone have to give way to Wan Bi? It’s not like they owed her anything.
Emperor Ming Cheng stiffened. This back-and-forth was a bloodbath in the making. He just prayed Wan Bi wouldn’t take the bait. Please don’t fight with Longyi, at least not in front of him. Wan Bi was used to being wild and sometimes loved to provoke people with her words. Longyi should have been used to it, so he didn’t know why she was suddenly lashing out today.
He smelled alcohol on Longyi. Had she been drinking again? No wonder the girl was acting crazy enough to talk back to Wan Bi… The thought of banning alcohol crossed Emperor Ming Cheng’s mind again.
“Are you saying this bereaved one is a husband-jinx1?” Wan Bi wasn’t angry. The rumors about her circulating among the common folk were far more outrageous; being a husband-jinx was nothing. But she couldn’t indulge Longyi’s temper. No matter what, she was the Empress Dowager, an elder. It was one thing for Longyi to talk back to her in private, but not in public. “The Late Emperor and the Late Empress both passed away early. Have you ever considered that you might be the one who jinxed your father and mother? It’s a good thing you refuse to call this bereaved one ‘Mother Empress.’ Otherwise, this bereaved one might not have survived all those incidents either. On second thought, this bereaved one should thank you for the grace of not jinxing this bereaved one.”
It was over. They were fighting. Emperor Ming Cheng felt exhausted. Sitting between the two women, he was helpless. Sometimes he thought that for a head of the family and ruler of the nation, he was quite pathetic, unable to even keep two young women in line.
Just as Emperor Ming Cheng thought Longyi and Wan Bi were about to have a massive argument, Longyi suddenly covered her face and began to cry.
“…” Wan Bi was a little stunned. If you want to fight, then fight properly. What’s with the crying? Now it looks like I’m bullying you.
“Longyi? The Empress Dowager didn’t mean it like that.” Emperor Ming Cheng gently patted his sister’s back, then shot Wan Bi a reproachful look.
Longyi didn’t know what had come over her. She was suddenly trapped in a wave of self-pity and couldn’t pull herself out. Wan Bi’s words had made her feel like a pitiful person who had nothing—no parents, and no lover. She had plenty of siblings, but the less said about familial affection in the imperial household, the better.
Seeing Longyi cry more and more sorrowfully, Wan Bi also felt that something was off with the girl tonight. She stood, took out a handkerchief, and walked over to Longyi. Squatting down, she asked softly, “Did something happen? You don’t have to be this disappointed that this bereaved one didn’t die, do you?” This was honestly the only reason Wan Bi could think of for Longyi to be so heartbroken.
She knew Longyi disliked her, of course. It wasn’t like she was particularly fond of Longyi either; their mutual dislike was quite fair. Besides, the Late Empress had indeed been humiliated because of her, and her later death from depression was also indirectly related. So, Longyi was perhaps the only person in the world Wan Bi was willing to tolerate. At this thought, Wan Bi, for some reason, remembered the little castrated donkey… Hadn’t she tolerated the little castrated donkey several times as well?
Emperor Ming Cheng shot Wan Bi a look. It was the first time he’d ever seen someone comfort another person like this. “Empress Dowager, perhaps you should say a little less.”
“She’s been drinking again?” Wan Bi also caught the scent of alcohol on Longyi. Her expression soured, and she forgot all about comforting her. Since there were no slaves around to wait on them, she spoke to Emperor Ming Cheng less formally. “Can the two of you find a different hobby? This bereaved one is putting my foot down today. If I ever find you two dead drunk again, I’ll have all the wine in the palace burned!” The palace had excellent wine, and of course Wan Bi wouldn’t bear to burn it, but it was a good opportunity to consider opening a winery.
A little drinking was fine. If Emperor Ming Cheng and Longyi could be like the little castrated donkey and just lie down and sleep when they were drunk, she wouldn’t stop them. The problem was that both siblings had the same drunken habits: they talked too much, cried easily, and were prone to losing control of their emotions. It was very annoying.
If Yuanqian-gugu knew what Wan Bi was thinking right now, she would surely want to remind her master: Your Majesty, you remember incorrectly. Yao Xi is also quite talkative when drunk.
“Fine!” Emperor Ming Cheng had been wanting to quit drinking anyway; he also felt it caused too much trouble. After agreeing with Wan Bi, he turned to coax his sister. “If you’ve run into trouble, tell your Imperial Brother. The world belongs to our Feng family. Is there any problem that can’t be solved?”
Longyi wanted to tell her Imperial Brother: Your little sister has fallen in love with your woman. What should I do?
But she couldn’t say it.
Her heart ached, and she desperately didn’t want Noble Lady Lan to return to her Imperial Brother’s side, but to grant Lan’s wish, she had still come to Ning’an Palace. It was just like all those days when Lan was in the Cold Palace. She had missed her terribly, but because of a single sentence from her, she had forced herself not to disturb her at Jingling Palace again.
Longyi suddenly wanted to test how much Noble Lady Lan weighed in her Imperial Brother’s heart. It would be good if he didn’t care that much. The Yao family’s affairs could be handled by her. Perhaps, for the sake of sibling affection, her Imperial Brother would grant her a woman he didn’t care about? Noble Lady Lan had never served him in bed; strictly speaking, she wasn’t even his woman.
“Imperial Brother knows that Longyi was once close with Noble Lady Lan, who is in the Cold Palace. I happened to be passing by when the fire broke out at Jingling Palace just now. Noble Lady Lan, she…” Longyi sobbed while secretly observing her Imperial Brother’s expression. She couldn’t state it plainly—it was enough to let him misunderstand that something had happened to Noble Lady Lan. To state it plainly would be the crime of deceiving the sovereign.
“What happened to her?” Emperor Ming Cheng remembered the Young Eunuch who had reported back saying that people had died at both Ning’an Palace and Jingling Palace.
Longyi just cried, hiccupping and speechless.
Emperor Ming Cheng’s face changed. It was as if a part of his heart had been crushed, and the pain was intense. He didn’t know if that pain was the regret of losing something he had never possessed, or the unwillingness to accept that a certain emotion would die along with a certain person.
“Imperial Physician Fu, accompany Us on another trip. Tang Huaili, We are moving to Jingling Palace.” Just before leaving, Emperor Ming Cheng seemed to remember something. He turned to Wan Bi and said, “Ning’an Palace is temporarily uninhabitable. Empress Dowager, you should move in with Longyi for now. She had two palaces connected, so there’s plenty of space.”
What?! Wan Bi really did not want to live at Longyi’s place. She knew Emperor Ming Cheng was deliberately trying to make them reconcile. But Longyi clearly had no intention of reconciling, and she didn’t want to ask for a snub. If they didn’t get along, then they didn’t get along. Why should they make each other uncomfortable?
Longyi was even more resistant than Wan Bi, but she couldn’t be bothered to argue with her at the moment. She was still staring at Emperor Ming Cheng’s hastily departing back. Her Imperial Brother did care about Noble Lady Lan. It was just that Noble Lady Lan didn’t know it. In fact, judging by his expression just now, did Noble Lady Lan even need to deliberately dress up to return to his side? Her very existence was enough for him.
But after losing Noble Lady Lan, her Imperial Brother still had Concubine Kang, Beauty Yu, and countless other women whose names he couldn’t even remember. After losing Noble Lady Lan, she truly had nothing. She had spent over a year in a muddle-headed daze, drowning her sorrows in wine. Now that the person was willing to come out of the Cold Palace, it was time for her to pull herself together as well.
Seeing Longyi’s silence, Wan Bi found it difficult to flatly refuse Emperor Ming Cheng’s suggestion. Longyi had just been crying, and her mood seemed even lower than before. Wan Bi’s heart was made of flesh, too, so she tacitly agreed. Fine, she would stay there. It wouldn’t be for long, anyway.
When Yao Xi returned to the side rooms, the area was silent, without a human sound. The eunuchs had all gone to the main hall of Ning’an Palace to fight the fire. No one was around.
Entering the room, Yao Xi froze at the door.
It was as if time had rewound. The sight that greeted her was once again a scene of chaos, but this time, the only thing of hers that had been thrown about was her bedroll. Everything else belonged to Meng Li’an. Yao Xi guessed it must have been the work of those two difficult night-duty eunuchs. They hadn’t thrown her things because, apart from that bedroll, everything she owned was still at the Bureau of Imperial Gardens.
It looked like the days ahead wouldn’t be easy. Living in the same room, they were bound to run into each other eventually, and a fight would be unavoidable. With a grimace, Yao Xi bent down to pick up the trampled, torn bedroll from the floor. Just then, she seemed to hear a faint groaning sound somewhere in the room.
Yao Xi straightened up warily, grabbing a small, low stool.
“Who’s there?” Yao Xi prepared for a fight.
“It’s me.” The voice that answered was weak and feeble, but she could still tell it was Meng Li’an.
Yao Xi walked over to the bed where the sound had come from. Meng Li’an was on one of the night-duty eunuchs’ beds, his head covered by a quilt. He only poked his head out when he heard her voice. “Good thing you didn’t go back to the Bureau of Imperial Gardens for the midday meal.”
In the dim yellow light of the room, Yao Xi saw the black-and-blue bruise on Meng Li’an’s left eye. “Those two bastards hit you? Damn it, they hit you hard. Don’t be afraid, I’ll get revenge for you!” The two eunuchs must have beaten Meng Li’an because she had moved their things to the floor so she could sleep. Meng Li’an had taken this beating for her.
“You can’t,” Meng Li’an said, struggling to sit up.
“The fierce fear the reckless, and the reckless fear the desperate.2 And it just so happens, your ge here is the desperate kind,” Yao Xi said, trembling with rage.
Meng Li’an smiled. “Then do you know what the desperate fear?”
Yao Xi didn’t.
“They fear the dead. Those two are both dead. Who are you going to get revenge on?” Meng Li’an pointed at the bed beneath him. “Otherwise, why would I dare to sleep in their bed?”
“Ew~” Yao Xi took a disgusted step back. “Is there something wrong with you? If they’re dead, you should be even more scared to sleep in their bed, right? It’s so unlucky.” After joking for a moment, Yao Xi pulled up a chair and sat by the bed to ask Meng Li’an for details. “Both of them? How did they die?”
“Didn’t an assassin get into Ning’an Palace today? They were guarding the gate. How could they have survived?”
“Weren’t they on night duty? The assassin came in the afternoon. It shouldn’t have been their shift.” Yao Xi still didn’t understand.
“You could call it retribution. They saw me in the Dining Hall at noon and wanted to settle the score over their things being moved to the floor. They dragged me into the room and not only beat me up, but also threw both our things out…”
Hearing this, Yao Xi felt a little embarrassed. “I don’t have much stuff, so they mostly threw yours… It’s okay, I’ll help you clean up in a bit. If anything’s lost or broken, I’ll buy you new things.” She still had the ten taels of silver Princess Longyi had rewarded her with.
“Mhm. You were still with Princess Longyi then, so you hadn’t come back. When they couldn’t find you, they swapped shifts with someone in the afternoon. They said they wanted to free up their time to wait for you to come back at night and settle the score. Who would have thought an assassin would enter Ning’an Palace in the afternoon, and the two of them would just…” Meng Li’an sighed after finishing his story. “Perhaps this is fate.”
“They died well!” Yao Xi exclaimed with sincere admiration. If it was just her and Meng Li’an in this room from now on, then showering or changing her Burnt Cotton Pouch wouldn’t be an issue anymore. Meng Li’an was truly an honest and kind kid. When it was inconvenient for her, she could just ask him to wait outside for a bit. “Right, why didn’t you go to help with the fire at Ning’an Palace?”
“It hurt too much. I asked the Manager for a day off,” Meng Li’an said with a wry smile.
“Where are you hurt?” Yao Xi was a little worried. The kid was so young; she hoped he wouldn’t be left with a permanent injury.
“They kicked my stomach and it cramped up. I had to lie down for a long time before it eased. It’s mostly fine now.” Meng Li’an pointed to several porcelain plates on the table, covered by empty ones. “I was afraid you hadn’t had your evening meal, so I got some extra when I went to the Dining Hall tonight and saved it for you.”
How did he manage to bring back so much food when he was so injured? Yao Xi’s eyes suddenly stung. “I still have some of the liniment Her Majesty the Empress Dowager rewarded me with. I carry it with me. You should put some on right away. I’ll go get you some hot water first. You can apply the medicine in peace. I’ll knock when I get back,” Yao Xi said, worried that Meng Li’an might be injured in a place he wouldn’t be comfortable showing others.
The author has something to say:
A lot of babies have been asking about the Eldest Princess and Noble Lady Lan’s pairing.
Their story is angst before the sweet stuff, and the angsty part will be over in the blink of an eye (lol).
Also, this story is mainly about Empress Dowager Wan and Eunuch Yao’s shameless daily life, so the side pairing’s part is limited. Babies who are fans of the side pairing should be prepared for fewer crumbs! (*^▽^*)
Footnotes
- Kè fū. A superstitious belief that a person, usually a woman, has a 'clashing' fate that brings misfortune, illness, or even death to their spouse. The concept can extend to other family members (kè fù kè mǔ, 'jinxing one's father and mother').
- A Chinese proverb: héng de pà lèng de, lèng de pà búyàomìng de. It describes a hierarchy of fear: a fierce person (héng) fears a reckless one (lèng), and a reckless person fears someone who is desperate and doesn't care about their own life (búyàomìng).
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