Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 48
by Little PandaThe Empress Dowager is So Wicked
Wan Bi only wanted to send Noble Lady Lan back to the Cold Palace; she had no desire to take her life. Though her infamous reputation preceded her, she still had principles when it came to murder.
Noble Lady Lan’s heart wasn’t with the Emperor? That only meant her methods were brilliant and she was a hidden threat—not a capital offense.
Noble Lady Lan had burned down Jingling Palace and killed Yu-shi? Jingling Palace was a dilapidated wreck and Yu-shi was incredibly wicked; that certainly wasn’t a crime worthy of death.
Noble Lady Lan making sheep’s eyes at her little castrated donkey??? What a frivolous, loose woman! A cold glint flashed through Wan Bi’s eyes. For some reason, the sudden urge to kill surged within her!
She only entertained the thought. There was no need to make an enemy of the Emperor over this, and even if she did want to kill her, it couldn’t be now.
Once this Noble Lady Lan returned, the chain of mutual interests between her and the Emperor could snap at any moment. With Lan’s methods, whatever Wan Bi could do for the Emperor, Lan might do just as well. Who was to say a Demon Consort wouldn’t rise in the wake of the Demon Empress? Given time, she might not be the one playing the good guy and the bad guy with the Emperor anymore.
Once she lost her shared interests with the Emperor, she would gradually lose his current gratitude toward her. Without the Emperor’s backing, what would she have left? That edict from the Late Emperor protecting her? That very edict stated that no Dowager Consort could be elevated to Empress Dowager—a point the Emperor had always brooded over. If he hardened his heart, he could invalidate that edict at a moment’s notice.
She had offended so many people over the past ten years and forged so many enmities. The moment she lost the Emperor’s protection, those enemies would show up at her door with absolute impunity…
Wan Bi’s palms began to sweat, and she gave a faint shiver. But right now, what she needed to do was win the Emperor over, not anger him. That Noble Lady Lan absolutely could not remain by his side. Wan Bi looked out of the dining hall. That shameless little seductress was striking up a conversation with her little castrated donkey.
After much deliberation, Wan Bi said, “But even if she did set the fire in Jingling Palace, this bereaved one thinks that since Your Majesty likes her—and considering Yu-shi’s many wicked deeds, which could be seen as reaping what she sowed—we shouldn’t pursue the matter too harshly. Just send her back to the Cold Palace.”
Emperor Ming Cheng’s expression was somewhat grave. He waited for Wan Bi to finish, then fell silent for a moment before saying, “The Empress Dowager has guessed correctly. She set the fire. Yu-shi did not immolate herself.”
His words left Wan Bi dumbfounded. “She told you?”
“No.” Emperor Ming Cheng shook his head. “We would occasionally send people to Jingling Palace to see how she was faring. We also know what color gowns she likes to wear on regular days. Last night, when We went to Jingling Palace, We saw her wearing the moon-white1 I love so much. Though she had been caught in the rain, the traces of makeup were still visible on her face. We understood then that she deliberately drew me there. Otherwise, with Jingling Palace suddenly catching fire in the dead of night, one would barely have time to flee for their life, let alone dress up.”
He sighed. “How could We fail to notice the very things the Empress Dowager suspects? We were merely playing the fool.”
“And Your Majesty is just going to let the matter of her murdering Yu-shi go?” Seeing Emperor Ming Cheng’s infatuated expression, Wan Bi felt a formidable enemy slowly rising—no, already risen! Compared to someone like Noble Lady Lan, the brainless Empress Zhu seemed much more endearing.
The good mood Wan Bi had enjoyed since identifying the mastermind at the Gate of Supreme Harmony was utterly ruined by this Noble Lady Lan.
Nine times out of ten, that assassin had been sent by Zhu Xiangchang. When she realized it was Zhu Xiangchang, she had nearly laughed out loud in front of all the civil and military officials at morning court. She had been wanting to find out just how deep the Zhu family’s pockets ran, and she also felt Emperor Ming Cheng was due for a more virtuous and hassle-free Empress. She had been worrying about finding a place to sink her teeth into, and yet Zhu Xiangchang had offered his own neck to the blade.
Wan Bi had originally planned to wait for Yang Qishang to secure the evidence, then use the assassination attempt to depose the Empress and confiscate the Zhu family’s estate.
Looking at it now, she feared she couldn’t touch Empress Zhu. If she emptied that seat and this Noble Lady Lan took it… the consequences would be unimaginable. As the Emperor’s pillow companion, she would hold his heart in a tight grip, and might even bear him an imperial heir. No matter how she looked at it, Lan would be closer to the Emperor than she, his stepmother, ever could be. The rhetoric she used to hoodwink the foolish Emperor wouldn’t necessarily fool Noble Lady Lan.
Emperor Ming Cheng smiled. It was a complex smile—sweetness? Pity? Heartache?
He looked at Wan Bi earnestly. “Has the Empress Dowager ever considered why she murdered Yu-shi and used her as a scapegoat for the arson? Yu-shi only gained Our favor after she had entered the Cold Palace. There was no past grievance between the two of them. Why does the Empress Dowager think she did it?”
“Because Yu-shi was unpopular, and she hadn’t been in the Cold Palace for long,” Wan Bi analyzed. “No one in the Cold Palace had any ties with her, but quite a few held grudges against her. Burning Yu-shi to death to take the fall wouldn’t offend anyone; in fact, she might even gain allies willing to commit perjury for her. That’s why everyone in the Cold Palace unanimously claimed Yu-shi committed self-immolation.”
It was easy to guess—hazing the newcomer, essentially, especially someone with enemies everywhere like Yu-shi.
Emperor Ming Cheng shook his head with a sweet smile. “The Empress Dowager is wrong. It is because after she entered the Cold Palace, We favored Yu-shi the most. The deeper her love for Us, the more she envied and hated Yu-shi. She hated that during those years when she was forced to be apart from Us, Yu-shi stole the love from Us that rightfully belonged to her.”
Emperor Ming Cheng had moved himself to tears with his own words. He sighed. “Yu-shi did not deserve to die. But We truly cannot bear to harshly reprimand her just because she loved Us too much and did something foolish in a moment of impulse. The Empress Dowager does not know this, but she has such a gentle temperament she wouldn’t even step on an ant. It is enough that We know and the Empress Dowager knows; let this matter pass! In her heart, she is actually suffering more than anyone.”
“She told you all this?” Wan Bi listened in stunned silence. Either Noble Lady Lan was far too brilliant, or the Emperor was far too foolish.
Emperor Ming Cheng shook his head. “Even if she doesn’t say it, We know.”
Emperor, are you out of your mind?! Wan Bi was flabbergasted.
But she couldn’t blame the Emperor. If the Emperor could be hoodwinked by her, he could naturally be hoodwinked by someone else. These wildly convoluted thoughts couldn’t possibly be born of the Emperor’s imagination alone. Noble Lady Lan might not have stated anything explicitly, but she had certainly put in plenty of work dropping hints.
Brilliant! Wan Bi felt this trip to Qianqing Palace had truly been worth it. Otherwise, she wouldn’t even know what hit her when that little seductress finally did her in.
The Emperor was so full of himself! Deeply in love with him? That woman didn’t even spare you a second glance, and that’s love? Do you even know what it looks like to truly love someone? The Emperor should really see the way my little castrated donkey secretly looks at me. Now that is love!
“As long as Your Majesty knows what you are doing,” Wan Bi said, giving up. With the Emperor being this foolish, she couldn’t count on him. She would have to rely on herself.
Emperor Ming Cheng suddenly remembered something and spoke to Wan Bi with some excitement. “Oh, does the Empress Dowager know who Noble Lady Lan’s father is?”
Wan Bi looked at him coldly. What was the Emperor trying to say now? She didn’t know any families surnamed Lan, nor did she care about this woman’s background. Even if she was the Jade Emperor’s daughter descended to the mortal realm, as long as this Noble Lady Lan showed the slightest sign of acting against her, she would show no mercy!
“She is the daughter of the Left Assistant Censor-in-Chief, Yao Hezheng!” Emperor Ming Cheng felt a swell of pride for his father-in-law. “I recall the Empress Dowager saying that during the Late Emperor’s reign, he tested Lord Yao with silver several times, and he proved to be a rare, incorruptible official.”
Wan Bi remained unmoved. A straight upper beam didn’t necessarily mean the lower beam wouldn’t be crooked.2 “Then why isn’t she called Noble Lady Yao?”
A hint of bashfulness appeared on Emperor Ming Cheng’s face. “Her name is Yao Shuanglan. We wished to bestow a title upon her, and seeing that she has the elegance of an orchid, and that her name also contains the character for ‘orchid,’ We conferred upon her the title of Noble Lady Lan.”
Wan Bi sneered, “The elegance of an orchid?” More like a poison bulb3! Beautiful to look at and sweet to smell, but if you ingested it, you would find that this lovely white flower was highly toxic! “Your Majesty is busy. This bereaved one will return now!”
When Wan Bi walked out of the dining hall, that Noble Lady Lan was still secretly staring at Yao Xi. Anger involuntarily rose in her heart: It’s bad enough you stole this bereaved one’s son, but you dare covet this bereaved one’s little castrated donkey too?
“Little Yaozi!” Wan Bi called out sharply.
Yao Xi tactfully hurried forward to support the Empress Dowager. “This slave is here.”
“Back to the palace!” Resting her hand on Yao Xi’s arm, Wan Bi swaggered past Noble Lady Lan, flaunting her authority. She had to let this woman see exactly who her little castrated donkey listened to, who she served, and who her heart belonged to.
Meng Delai was having his midday meal in Dongchang Hutong. Sitting across from him was Meng Li’an.
Meng Li’an was clearly just as frail and thin as before, yet he looked vastly different from how he did in Ning’an Palace. His back was straight, his posture upright; his every movement was completely devoid of his former timidity. His aura could rival even that of Meng Delai, the Director of the Eastern Depot.
“No one saw you on your way over, did they?” Meng Delai poured a cup of wine for Meng Li’an.
Meng Li’an accepted the wine. “To answer Godfather, your son took a long detour and disguised himself before coming. No one will notice.”
Meng Delai nodded. “It has been hard on you. By placing you in Ning’an Palace, where you were bullied for your weak constitution, your godfather couldn’t do anything to intervene in order to maintain secrecy.” Normally, a single word of instruction would have been enough to protect him. But because Meng Li’an had a heavy responsibility in Ning’an Palace, he couldn’t be linked to the Eastern Depot in the slightest. Everything had to rely on himself.
“The eunuchs who bullied your son are all dead. Godfather need not worry.” A cold glint flashed through Meng Li’an’s eyes. The truth was, he had hacked those two night-duty eunuchs to death amidst the chaos when the assassin infiltrated Ning’an Palace. Those two eunuchs were fated to die anyway; they had planned to switch shifts so they could settle the score with Yao Xi that night, but then the assassin arrived. They managed to dodge the assassin’s sword, but they couldn’t dodge his blade.
“Your son came to tell Godfather that the brat who replaced Yao Xian was just promoted to Junior Director. He moved to Princess Longyi’s residence along with the Empress Dowager. Your son remained in Ning’an Palace and couldn’t follow them.”
“Yao Hezheng’s daughter, Yao Shuanglan, has also emerged from the Cold Palace. Leave Yao Xi alone for now. There are quite a few people who want to help the Yao family overturn their case; when the time comes, we’ll use Yao Xi to catch them all in one net!” Meng Delai said, his eyes narrowing slightly. “No one else knows about that brat not being castrated, right?”
Meng Li’an shook his head. “It was quite a coincidence. That day, when Her Majesty the Empress Dowager ordered people to strip-search Yao Xi, your son happened to be outside the hall. Yao Xi is a clever one and hid it very well. If Godfather hadn’t told your son, your son wouldn’t have known either. Your son would have just thought he truly had no face to let anyone see his mutilated nether regions.”
“That’s good. Less trouble is better than more. Yao Xi must be kept perfectly safe for now; the second basin of dirty water we plan to dump on the Yao family depends entirely on him!” Meng Delai raised his wine cup to Meng Li’an. “Endure your grievances a little longer. Find a way to get your hands on the ledger the Empress Dowager uses to record the silver she passes to the officials. Yao Xi entering Ning’an Palace is an unexpected boon. If you can help him hide his secret, do so. But if you can’t, don’t expose yourself.”
Once they obtained that ledger, they would have dirt on all the officials! Furthermore, that ledger recorded certain matters concerning the Eastern Depot—things that the Emperor absolutely must never see! Meng Delai knew that Wan Bi’s withholding of that information from the Emperor meant she was definitely scheming something; he realized with a start that he could not just sit and wait for death!
Meng Li’an also raised his cup. “Rest assured, Godfather.”
Footnotes
- Moon-white (yuèbáisè) in traditional Chinese color terminology is actually a very pale, icy blue rather than pure white.
- A play on the Chinese idiom 'if the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked' (shàng liáng bù zhèng xià liáng wāi), meaning subordinates will follow the bad example set by their superiors.
- 文殊兰 (wénshūlán) — the poison bulb or giant crinum lily. It produces beautiful, fragrant white flowers resembling orchids, but all parts of the plant are highly toxic if ingested.
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