Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 155
by Little PandaExtra 4
Longyi × Shuanglan
Empress Su threw down the whip, shot a glance at the mama1, and—afraid Longyi outside might hear—kept her voice low as she said to Shuanglan, “Take it. This is the medicine you asked this palace to bring.”
“Yes.” Shuanglan raised both hands and accepted the medicine bottle from the mama. Applied to the skin, this medicine would produce red marks resembling lash welts—extremely convincing, yet entirely painless. The red marks appeared quickly and faded just as fast, but they were more than enough to fool Her Highness the Princess.
“How do you know about this medicine? Have you read medical texts?” Empress Su was somewhat surprised. She was even grateful that the Yao family girl had been born late. Had she been born ten or twenty years earlier, with this girl’s talent, beauty, and cunning, she might have captivated the Emperor into deposing the Empress and replacing her.
Shuanglan lowered her head, hiding her sharpness and feigning simplicity. “Your Highness, Shuanglan happened to use this medicine at home. It’s the best for repelling insects and vermin, but it does leave marks.” This was technically true, though she hadn’t learned about it by using it—she had read about it in a medical text, grown curious, and gathered some to try.
“What a coincidence indeed. Go with the mama to the back and apply your medicine.” Empress Su smiled warmly and kindly at Shuanglan, then said to the young palace maid beside her, “Call Yi’er in. And have someone bring a basin of hot water.”
Longyi was crying as though her heart would break, her wails growing more pitiful with each cry. At first she had obediently stood facing the wall as Mother Empress had told her, but then she ran out of strength and crumpled to the ground, wailing to high heaven. “Mother Empress!! Hit me instead!! Wahhhhh—” She couldn’t hear Shuanglan crying—had she already fainted?
“Your Highness, Her Highness the Empress asks you to come in.” The palace maid produced a silk handkerchief for the little princess to blow her nose.
Longyi scrambled up from the ground and ran inside. She didn’t see Shuanglan—only Mother Empress sitting calmly in a chair, drinking tea.
“Where’s Shuanglan?” Longyi couldn’t stop hiccupping with sobs.
Empress Su set down her teacup, unhurriedly picked up a hot towel, walked over to her daughter, squatted down, wiped her tears, and said gently, “Her skin was broken. I’ve had someone take her to the back to apply medicine.”
Hearing this, the tears Longyi had just staunched came gushing out again. She wailed, “How could you be so heartless? She’s so little! I’m going to tell Imperial Father, and Grandfather too—let Grandfather hit you and see if it hurts! Wahhhhh—”
“Yi’er! If you dare disrespect your elders and spout that nonsense again, Mother Empress will drag that girl out and keep beating her!” Empress Su was genuinely angry.
Longyi was so frightened she shut her mouth immediately, though she kept crying nonstop.
Empress Su’s heart ached watching her daughter’s seemingly endless tears, and her tone softened considerably. She stroked her daughter’s tear-streaked face and said, “The Yao family girl came to the palace as a reading companion. As long as you study earnestly, she will have fulfilled her duty to guide you. If she can’t keep you in line, then she should be punished, beaten, or expelled from the palace as warranted.”
Longyi nodded through her sobs. “Yi’er understands.” She would be good. She didn’t want Shuanglan to be beaten or scolded again, let alone expelled from the palace. “Mother Empress, may Yi’er go see her?”
“You may.” Empress Su pouted her red lips and coaxed her daughter. “Give Mother Empress a kiss first, then you can go.”
“No!” Longyi was still resentful. She pulled away from her mother and headed for the small partition room at the back.
Empress Su watched her daughter’s anxious, worried figure with disappointment and grew even more determined to send Shuanglan out of the palace. A child as straightforward and trusting as Yi’er was simply a fool in the hands of the Yao family girl. Better to replace her with someone duller—at least they wouldn’t have the wits to lead Yi’er astray.
The outer room and the inner room were separated by only a single wall. Shuanglan had heard every word the Princess and the Empress had said.
Longyi entered the partition room and found Shuanglan lying bare-bottomed on the table, the mama applying medicine for her. Her little bottom was covered in dense, bright-red whip marks! Thankfully, the skin wasn’t broken and there was no blood—Mother Empress must have been deliberately scaring her.
“Mama, get out!” Longyi snatched the medicine bottle and, through her tears, glared fiercely at the wicked mama who served Mother Empress.
The mama found the little princess’s fury adorable and smiled affectionately as she left.
Longyi was even more furious. Still smiling? Shuanglan had been beaten this badly—what kind of vicious person could smile at that? She walked to the table, looked at Shuanglan’s little bottom, and cried with guilt. “Wuwuwu… it’s all my fault. You tried to warn me, wuwuwu… it was just a few pages of reading! Shuanglan, don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you from now on. I’ll never let you get beaten again. Wuwuwu…”
“Don’t worry, Your Highness. It doesn’t hurt.” Shuanglan felt even guiltier seeing the princess cry so bitterly. It truly didn’t hurt! She had just had ointment applied and hadn’t pulled up her trousers yet, so her bottom felt chilly. The ointment was real wound medicine—she had first asked the mama to apply the mosquito-repellent herb that caused red marks, then layered real wound medicine on top.
“How could it not hurt?” Longyi held the medicine bottle and asked, “Is the medicine done? Do you want me to help?”
“The medicine is done. Help me back to my room, please.” Shuanglan reached out her small hand and held the princess’s, then climbed down from the table with difficulty and fixed her clothes.
Longyi felt awful watching this. She wanted to comfort Shuanglan but couldn’t find the right words. After a long moment, she managed: “At least there’s no blood or broken skin. It probably won’t scar.”
This remark hit some strange funny bone in Shuanglan, and she suddenly laughed out loud.
“Come on, I’ll carry you back on my back.” Longyi bent over in front of Shuanglan. She was afraid the palace maids and eunuchs wouldn’t be gentle enough and would hurt her.
Shuanglan politely declined. “Your Highness’s kindness is appreciated, but it’s only a few steps. I can walk.” She didn’t dare let the princess carry her, and she didn’t think the princess could actually lift her anyway.
“Why stand on ceremony? Get on! You got beaten because of me—I should be the one to look after you.” Longyi patted her own back, which was far from sturdy—in fact, quite thin.
“All… all right…” Shuanglan hesitantly placed her hands on the princess’s shoulders.
Longyi wrapped her arms around Shuanglan’s knees and strained with all her might—one heave—another heave—one more heave! Shuanglan might look small, but she was certainly not light! But Longyi had already made a bold promise, and she, Feng Yi, the Primary Eldest Princess of Daxing, was someone who cared about her dignity. Heave-ho! Longyi put every ounce of strength into it.
Shuanglan stood motionless on the ground, looking awkward.
“Eunuch Wang! Come help Miss Yao back to her room!” Longyi shouted, her face flushed red—who knew whether from cold, from crying, from strain, or from embarrassment.
Shuanglan stood behind Longyi, covering her mouth, secretly laughing.
“This commoner woman2 greets Her Highness the Eldest Princess.” Madam Yao and Shuanglan entered the room and bowed to Longyi.
Longyi rose to greet them. “Please, rise.” She reached out to support Madam Yao and stole a glance at Shuanglan. They both smiled.
The three sat and exchanged pleasantries. Madam Yao first expressed gratitude for the Eldest Princess’s care of her daughter Shuanglan in the palace, then mentioned that the master and Shuangzhu were both in the palace, and so on—the rest was nothing more than polite conversation. Longyi responded courteously, occasionally stealing glances at the silent Shuanglan. She didn’t truly relax until Madam Yao was seen off.
“I was just thinking about when we were little. Remember how you took a beating for me right after you entered the palace? Tell me honestly—did you fall in love with me at first sight?” Longyi had already dismissed everyone and affectionately pulled Shuanglan into her arms. In the palace, she had always been on edge, afraid of getting Shuanglan in trouble. Now things were finally fine.
Shuanglan rested her head on Longyi’s shoulder and laughed.
“Tell me! Was it love at first sight?” Longyi tilted Shuanglan’s chin up and pressed.
“Yes, yes, yes.” Shuanglan cupped Longyi’s face and gave it a light peck.
“Say it seriously! When did you start liking me?” Longyi didn’t believe her for a moment.
“Hmm… I really don’t remember. I was too little then. Children have emotions more than feelings, really. I just remember that after I ‘got beaten,’ you were so, so good to me, and then when Her Highness the Empress was going to check your lessons, you were terrified I’d get beaten again, so you memorized your books desperately—but the more anxious you were, the less you could retain. It was the dead of winter. You said you wouldn’t sleep until you’d memorized it, and later, afraid you’d doze off, you went and sat in the snow. Scared everyone half to death.” Shuanglan’s heart ached even now, remembering. “In the end you still couldn’t memorize it, but you frightened Her Highness the Empress so badly she didn’t dare push you to study anymore, and she sent me back to the Yao Residence.”
But she hadn’t been back at the Yao Residence for long before Her Highness sent someone to bring her back—because her silly princess had actually gone on a hunger strike to get her returned!
What mother could ever outlast her own child?
Longyi pinched Shuanglan’s bottom and said, “Even back then, I thought—if you got scars on your bottom from that beating and couldn’t find a husband, I’d marry you.”
“What are you talking about!” Shuanglan punched Longyi twice in feigned disgust, but her heart was sweet. Longyi was still a child then, yet she had already wanted to take responsibility for her. “Oh, by the way—my Shuangzhu and Her Majesty the Empress Dowager signed a deed of commitment3 in front of Father and Mother. They put it in writing, pressed their thumbprints, changed how they address each other, and served tea.”
“What?” Longyi’s jaw nearly dropped. “Your esteemed father and your esteemed mother agreed?” She could hardly imagine it. She knew Lord Yao and Madam Yao were both learned, reasonable, and open-minded people—but their daughter signing a deed of commitment! And with the reigning Empress Dowager! Could she and Shuanglan do the same?
“What else? Should they have forcibly intervened and torn Shuangzhu and Her Majesty apart? Shuangzhu was kidnapped by a wicked servant when she was little—who knows how much she suffered growing up. Father and Mother already felt guilty. A daughter they had never raised or taught—what right did they have to control her? Since they couldn’t stop it, as parents they naturally wanted their daughter to be with someone properly and legitimately, and to see whether Her Majesty truly cared for Shuangzhu.” Shuanglan knew what Longyi was thinking. She tapped her nose and said, “Stop thinking about it. We can’t.”
“Why not?” Longyi said indignantly. “We could just sign one secretly—wouldn’t that work? With heaven and earth as our witnesses and the sun and moon as our testimony, you would be my true wife, your parents would be my own parents, Yao Xi would be my own sister, and the Empress Dowager would be my own—” Longyi suddenly stopped.
Wait! Wan Bi, that girl, was now her peer? Hahahahaha! Heaven had eyes!
Footnotes
- A respectful term in Chinese palace usage for an elderly female servant, often serving as a nanny or caretaker to royal children.
- A humble self-referential used by commoner women when addressing royalty or high officials, replacing 'I' with a self-deprecating descriptive title.
- A formal written contract establishing a same-sex romantic union, traditionally executed with signatures or blood thumbprints before family witnesses.
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