Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 57

The Empress Dowager is So Wicked

Yuanqian really found it hard to say. If she answered honestly, she wouldn’t be telling Her Majesty what a eunuch’s wound looked like, but what Tang Huaili’s wound looked like…

After all, she had never seen anyone else’s.

            

“To answer Your Majesty. The masters wielding the knife when eunuchs enter the palace are different, so their cutting methods vary. I’ve heard every one is different. As for whether it is terrifying, this slave-girl doesn’t know either.” Yuanqian regretted rushing back so eagerly. Had she known Her Majesty intended to ask her this kind of question, she would have rather died in Ning’an Palace.

Wan Bi’s expression shifted, looking somewhat impatient. “Just say what you know. Why do you care about the others?”

Yuanqian nervously lowered her head and pinched the corner of her clothes, nearly tearing the fabric before finally giving a difficult nod.

            

“Terrifying?” Wan Bi’s heart sank.

It had not been easy for her to decide to fulfill Yao Xi’s affectionate devotion. She didn’t care about the gossip regarding taking a eunuch as a male lover; mainly, she couldn’t get past her own mental hurdle. Was she truly falling for a eunuch? Wan Bi didn’t want to admit it. She was far more willing to admit she had fallen for Yao Xi—and Yao Xi simply had the misfortune of being a eunuch.

She wasn’t a pervert like Noble Lady Lan, who specifically targeted young, handsome eunuchs. All her current worry, hesitation, nervousness, and unease proved she still hated eunuchs. It was just that her desire for Yao Xi was growing stronger and stronger, gradually overpowering her revulsion.

            

Yuanqian nodded again. She couldn’t help but remember a few years ago, the first time she stayed the night at Tang Huaili’s private residence outside the palace. After the two of them undressed, the moment she saw Tang Huaili’s body, she froze—and then couldn’t hold back her bitter weeping.

Tang Huaili had been so awkwardly lost, his face flushed completely red. He hastily threw his clothes back on and comforted her, saying, “You can regret this at any time. A eunuch’s body is mutilated like this; it’s only natural for you to be afraid when you see it.”

She was afraid in that momentary pause, but her tears had fallen because her heart ached. Had she not seen it with her own eyes, she never could have imagined how much suffering Tang Huaili had endured when he entered the palace. In the eyes of outsiders, a eunuch “taking the knife” was just a slightly pitiful phrase, but for the man becoming a eunuch, it was a very real, brutal slash. That knife brought more than just an ugly wound—it brought a body plagued with pain and a lifetime of humiliation.

            

That night, she and Tang Huaili did nothing at all. They just sat embracing each other, talking until dawn.

Later on, once she had seen it enough, she was no longer afraid.

“How terrifying is it?” Wan Bi wasn’t giving up.

            

She had lived for over twenty years, and this was the first time she had felt this kind of craving for someone. What was more, that person was deeply devoted to her, had risked his life to save her, and had a head full of nothing but her. Wan Bi wanted to give it a try. What if it worked? If she openly took the little castrated donkey into her bed, certain ungrateful women wouldn’t dare plot against him anymore.

Yuanqian sat stiffly on her stool, harboring the urge to run away. Was the Empress Dowager asking her to describe the shape of the wound?

She really couldn’t do it! Letting the Empress Dowager know what Tang Huaili looked like down there was an absolute humiliation to Tang Huaili. That scar was a wound in his heart that he never wanted to touch. She could not hurt him just to satisfy Her Majesty’s bizarre curiosity. “Please forgive this slave-girl, Your Majesty, but this slave-girl cannot say.”

            

Yuanqian raised her head resolutely, prepared to rather die than submit, leaving herself at Her Majesty’s mercy. Even if she was punished, she wouldn’t speak! Telling Her Majesty that it was terrifying was truly her limit; she already felt deeply apologetic toward Tang Huaili.

“Tch!” Wan Bi scoffed lightly. “If you won’t say, then forget it! Put away that expression like you’re going to a heroic death for this bereaved one.” If Yuanqian didn’t want to talk, fine. At worst, she would just look for herself. Hearsay was rarely reliable anyway; it was far less vivid than seeing it with one’s own eyes.

Of course, she could only steal a peek.

            

The little castrated donkey had the stubborn temper of a donkey—fiercely unyielding. The last time the eunuchs tried to search him at Ning’an Palace, he had practically fought to the death. She actually understood now why he had resisted so intensely that day, choosing death over undressing even though removing his clothes would have proven his innocence instantly.

Eunuchs guarded the secret of their lower halves tightly. Let alone showing people, they wouldn’t even bear to mention it.

Furthermore, the little castrated donkey was in love with her, and the first feeling love gave a person was an inferiority complex! She was the reigning Empress Dowager, while he was just a little eunuch; the disparity in their statuses was vast, making his inferiority even worse. Add to that the fact that he had suffered the knife and could no longer be considered a true man, and he surely wouldn’t want to expose his wound in front of his beloved!

            

She could only investigate secretly without his knowledge. Otherwise, if the sensitive, insecure little castrated donkey knew the one he admired had seen him down there, he would probably be so ashamed he’d try to kill himself!

The thought made Wan Bi feel a bit shy. She had done her fair share of bad deeds, but this kind of wickedness was a first. She had never even seen a normal man’s lower half, and she didn’t know if seeing the little castrated donkey’s would actually frighten her.

Thinking of this, she grew a little excited, even eager to try.

            

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Yao Xi returned to her room after serving the Empress Dowager her midday meal. Lying on her bed, she couldn’t help but wonder—what was Her Majesty playing at when she suddenly grabbed her hand during the calligraphy lesson?

Suddenly, she remembered the warning Her Majesty had given her right before teaching her to write. Her Majesty had told her that if she encountered another situation like Noble Lady Lan hugging her, she should run away immediately and not be afraid of offending them just because they were masters…

Good heavens! Yao Xi shot straight up from the bed.

            

She realized it now! Her Majesty was testing her!!! Testing to see if she would dodge when a master took the initiative to get close! For the sake of her safety and the reputations of the palace masters, Her Majesty hadn’t hesitated to test her personally, but unfortunately, she had failed. The correct response would have been to immediately pull away from Her Majesty, or even run far, far away…

But what had she done instead?

She had been scared stupid again! When Her Majesty leaned close, she just sat blankly in the chair, utterly motionless, and hadn’t even snapped out of it by the time Her Majesty let go.

            

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!! Yao Xi kicked the bedboard in frustration. Her Majesty wouldn’t think she had bad character, would she? She wouldn’t think she was playing dumb just to take advantage of the masters, right?

She really needed to grow a brain¹. If Her Majesty tested her again, she absolutely had to dodge away resolutely, decisively, righteously, and with an expression of pure integrity. If necessary—like the situation today where Her Majesty grabbed her hand—she should risk death to shove Her Majesty away for the sake of Her Majesty’s reputation! The more fiercely she rejected her, the more at ease Her Majesty would feel about her.

With these thoughts spinning in her head, Yao Xi lay back down and slept fitfully for a while. When she woke up and tidied herself, she headed over to the main hall to await orders, only to be stopped at the door by a palace maid.

            

Ah, the maid blocking her was one of the two who had dragged her back last night. Her Majesty really hadn’t brought many people over to serve her!

“Eunuch, please halt. Gugu Yuanqian is inside speaking with Her Majesty! We were ordered not to let anyone disturb them!” The maid’s attitude toward Yao Xi had improved significantly. The Empress Dowager believed the incident between Yao Xi and Noble Lady Lan was a misunderstanding, and they unconditionally believed the Empress Dowager.

“Alright.” Yao Xi felt even more uneasy. Why had Her Majesty suddenly called Gugu Yuanqian back from Ning’an Palace? Was she dissatisfied with her service? It had to be because she failed the test and angered Her Majesty! She hadn’t even dodged when a master touched her hand? It would be a miracle if Her Majesty wasn’t furious.

            

Unable to see Her Majesty here, Yao Xi decided to go find Princess Longyi. This time, it wasn’t to mooch wine, but to subtly ask about Noble Lady Lan’s family background. Otherwise, what if she was caught chatting next time and let something slip? Since she had acknowledged Noble Lady Lan as her sister, she had to do her homework.

Of course, if asked about things she didn’t know, she could easily use the same excuse she gave the Empress Dowager: her brain had been damaged by drugs, and she couldn’t remember much. But she couldn’t remember absolutely nothing, right? It wasn’t full amnesia. She ought to know the basics—how many people were in her family, where they lived, what they did for a living, and so on.

Why ask Princess Longyi? Because Princess Longyi and Noble Lady Lan seemed to have a good relationship, so she obviously knew a few things. More importantly, Princess Longyi was willing to talk to her.

            

When a smiling maid reported that Yao Xi had returned, Longyi didn’t look as delighted as she had yesterday. “Let him in!”

She knew Yao Xi wasn’t to blame for what happened last night. Yao Xi had been entirely passive; how could a little slave dare turn hostile against a master? Last night’s incident was entirely Noble Lady Lan’s doing and had little to do with Yao Xi. It was the same at Qianqing Palace this morning—Noble Lady Lan had pretended to look around casually, but her gaze always landed on Yao Xi in the end. Yao Xi, however, kept his head down the entire time, not giving her a single glance.

Yao Xi had no ulterior motives toward Noble Lady Lan. Longyi could see that clearly.

            

Seeing Yao Xi being led in, Longyi smiled in greeting. “Are you here to deliver a thank-you gift to this palace for what happened this morning?”

“Ah?” Yao Xi stared blankly before realizing what Princess Longyi was referring to. Princess Longyi must know about that hug with Noble Lady Lan, otherwise she wouldn’t say such a thing.

Yao Xi was baffled. She and Noble Lady Lan had shared a brief hug in some desolate corner of the imperial palace in the dead of night, yet somehow it felt like the entire world knew about it. “That matter was truly a misunderstanding. This slave’s little life isn’t important, as long as the Noble Lady wasn’t wrongfully accused.”

            

Longyi couldn’t help but smile bitterly. Whoever else might be wrongfully accused, it wasn’t Noble Lady Lan. She wasn’t someone who didn’t know her limits; heaven knows what kind of fit she was throwing last night. “Speak. What business do you have with this palace?”

Yao Xi took a seat in a chair near Princess Longyi. “This slave just wanted to chat with Your Highness.”

Longyi conveniently had things she wanted to say to Yao Xi as well. She ordered someone to fetch wine, dismissed the attendants, and settled in to drink with Yao Xi in the room.

            

“Regarding Noble Lady Lan’s drunken lapse in judgment, this palace must give you a warning.” Longyi personally poured Yao Xi a cup of wine, speaking with earnest gravity. “When she has a little wine, she gets muddled and loses her sense of propriety. But you can’t just let her act recklessly, can you? You must reject her when you should. Even if your attitude is a bit firm, it’s for her own good. And of course, it’s even more for your own good. This morning at Qianqing Palace, if this palace had told the truth, you would likely have been dragged to the West Market² and beheaded by now.”

“This slave thanks Your Highness for saving my life.” Yao Xi lowered her head in shame. Princess Longyi’s words carried roughly the same meaning as the Empress Dowager’s—it was all for her own good, warning her that there were lines she could not cross. The masters might just receive a minor punishment for a momentary lapse, but she would definitely lose her head.

“Speaking of Noble Lady Lan…” Yao Xi was just about to use the opening to shift the topic and ask about Noble Lady Lan’s background, but she suddenly realized: if Her Highness casually mentioned Yao Xi asking these questions to Noble Lady Lan later, Noble Lady Lan would definitely get suspicious! If she were truly her brother, how could she know absolutely nothing about the Yao family’s affairs?

            

Her brain really was broken to even consider asking Princess Longyi. Forget it, she’d better ask someone else!

“Yes. What about her?” Longyi looked toward Yao Xi.

“It seems Your Highness and the Noble Lady have quite a good relationship?” Yao Xi smoothly pivoted to a different question.

            

Longyi seemed to recall something, a sweet smile curving her lips. “In her youth, she was this palace’s reading companion³. An on-and-off friendship of over ten years. What do you think?”

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