Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 106

I Don’t Want to Be So Far Away From You

Anzhi panicked for several days, entirely unsure of what to do. In her nervousness, she didn’t even dare to contact Yan Xi. Throughout those anxiety-ridden days, she repeatedly scrolled through her WeChat chat history, analyzing every detail, peeling it back layer by layer.

If she knew, there was no way she could be this composed. She was still replying to her messages, calling her “Darling,” and teasingly calling her a “little rabbit.” It didn’t seem like anything was too different…

            

But if she didn’t know, there was no way to explain Yan Xi’s recent coldness toward her.

But if Yan Xi knew and didn’t think much of it, did that mean she had a chance…?

Anzhi bit her lip, then gnawed on her fingers. She had spaced out in class several times.

            

Anzhi was in such a panic she was almost in tears. Yang Mengmeng told her, “Why don’t you just go for broke and take this chance to confess?”

“Here, that’s exactly how I won over Chen Wei.”

“But it’s not the same…” Anzhi was entirely out of ideas. Liu Yiyi and Yan Yixi had gone traveling again, and she didn’t dare disturb them, so she could only bide her time and wait.

            

She held her breath all the way to the end of the term, right up to the Spring Festival¹.

Everyone was in high spirits; only she remained deeply unsettled. As usual, Yan Xi returned on New Year’s Eve for the reunion dinner.

With the whole family present, it wasn’t appropriate for Anzhi to get too close to her, so she could only carefully observe her expressions.

            

There was nothing unusual. Yan Xi still smiled at her, called her Taotao just like normal, and told her to eat more. Anzhi was caught between doubt and surprise, almost beginning to think she had just been overthinking everything.

After dinner, Anzhi hesitantly stopped her. “Aunt, Auntie?”

Yan Xi seemed to pause. When she turned around, her expression was as gentle as ever, the corners of her lips turning up slightly. “Mn, I actually have something to talk to you about.”

            

Anzhi swallowed nervously, following her up to the third-floor living room to sit down.

“I transferred a sum of money to your card,” Yan Xi said. “It’s the money your father left with me, though it’s a bit more than the amount you saw last time. Did you receive it?”

Anzhi let out an “Ah.” “I wasn’t paying attention…” She hurriedly slid her phone open. Sure enough, there was an overlooked text message.

            

She counted the digits and her eyes widened. “So much!”

She counted them again, clicking her tongue, and lifted her gaze to Yan Xi, their eyes meeting. Anzhi froze; there was clearly something hidden in the look Yan Xi had just been giving her, something difficult to decipher, but it was only for a split second before it flashed away.

“Mn, you’re already an adult. You should manage this yourself now.”

            

“All—all of it is for me?” Anzhi was a bit dazed.

“Mn.” Yan Xi nodded.

“…” Anzhi scratched her head, her mind completely scrambled for a moment.

            

“Alright, go play.” Yan Xi had already stood up. She didn’t pat her head, nor did she ask anything else. She simply said that one sentence and then didn’t say anything else.

“Auntie!” Anzhi stood up and called out to her.

Yan Xi’s body paused once again, but she didn’t turn around. “Mn?”

            

Anzhi’s chest heaved heavily. The words were already right at the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn’t force her mouth open.

Yan Xi waited in place for a moment. Never turning her head, she simply walked away without another word.

Anzhi lowered her head dejectedly. Sure enough… she did know.

            

---

Past the age of thirty, the New Year became increasingly mundane, especially for a woman without a family of her own like Yan Xi. Whether she got time off or not didn’t really matter—especially this year.

Late at night, unable to sleep, she went up to the rooftop to smoke.

In the bitter winter cold, she faced the distance, the smoke drifting around her.

            

These past few months had been too exhausting for her, a grueling physical and mental torment.

All of this was her fault. It was because she hadn’t taken the feelings of a teenage girl into consideration, because she hadn’t set proper boundaries, because she hadn’t taken good care of Anzhi, allowing her to develop feelings she shouldn’t have.

Yan Xi remembered a line from an article she had read a few years ago: “People all need love. If a person doesn’t receive enough care and protection from their family in their youth, and someone appears during that time who treats them exceptionally well, it becomes very easy for them to develop romantic feelings.”

            

So many times, she had held Anzhi while they slept, never paying attention to propriety. This was all her fault.

Yan Xi had considered a few solutions. She could immediately bring home a “boyfriend” or announce that she was going on blind dates. But those weren’t good ways to resolve this; they would only hurt Anzhi further, and she wasn’t willing to do that.

Nor could she bring herself to completely ignore Anzhi. If she did, the emotional bond they had built over all these years of living together would be completely wasted, and that, too, would hurt Anzhi.

            

She stood on the rooftop all night, uncharacteristically smoking a great deal. Even as a tinge of pale orange broke across the horizon, she still hadn’t figured out what to do.

She could only maintain a moderate distance from her, caring for her strictly in the capacity of an elder. She hoped that when Anzhi grew a little older, had a broader horizon, and met more people, she would sort out her own feelings and realize that her affection for her was merely a temporary emotional displacement.

---

No matter your mood, the sun would rise as usual.

            

Inside the classroom, the renowned Professor Robert Graham Cooks was giving a lecture. As an internationally recognized pioneer in the field of mass spectrometry and a member of the National Academy of Sciences in the US, his titles could fill pages upon pages.

It had taken a great deal of effort for Beicheng University of Science and Technology to invite him to give a lecture to the students, and nearly every student present had their ears perked up in absolute attention.

The old professor had white hair and a white beard. With his smiling face, he looked a bit like the white-haired KFC Grandpa that Anzhi used to see as a child.

            

He was lecturing on how to utilize the Paternò-Büchi reaction alongside tandem ion trap technology to directly analyze lipids in blood or tissue, thereby determining the position of lipid unsaturated double bonds.

“The biosynthetic pathways of cancer cells and normal cells differ, and the proportions of their lipid unsaturated isomers also exhibit characteristic distinctions…”

Now in their junior year, they had to determine their research direction. This old professor was a top expert² in analytical chemistry, and Purdue University, where he taught, was one of the highest-ranked institutions in the world for the subject.

            

After the lecture, the old professor graciously took the time to look over their assignments, answered a few questions, and chatted with their homeroom teacher.

He had some impression of Anzhi. “Your practical skills are decent, and you’re careful and diligent when conducting experiments,” he said, taking Anzhi’s lab report to glance over it. “You have a fair sensitivity to data. You could pursue the path of analytical chemistry.”

Anzhi was overwhelmed by the unexpected praise.

            

The homeroom teacher winked at her.

Catching on immediately, Anzhi gathered her courage and asked the old professor for his email address.

After class, the homeroom teacher also spoke with her, suggesting she consider studying abroad. The academic research environment would be somewhat better. If she had the intention of going, she could start preparing for some of the exams in the second semester of her junior year.

            

Anzhi felt a little lost. Before starting university, she had never considered going abroad. Right now, it wasn’t that she wasn’t tempted, but she was deeply hesitant. She knew there was something she yearned for far more deeply in her heart. She was plagued by anxiety; this sliver of anticipation had reached a point where it could no longer be ignored.

Anzhi finally worked up the courage to return home.

At eight o’clock that evening, she waited for Yan Xi in the living room. She heard the familiar sound of the car parking, the sound of her coming in and locking the door. She could even sense the moment she paused in her steps upon seeing the lights on in the house.

            

Then, she hesitantly called out, “Taotao?”

Anzhi’s heart skipped several beats at the familiar nickname. That familiar, tall figure entered her line of sight.

“Auntie.”

            

“Mn, why did you come back at this hour? Have you eaten?” Yan Xi took off her coat.

There was a chill in the spring air. Draping her trench coat over her arm, she walked over and casually placed it onto the sofa.

“Mn, I’ve eaten.” Anzhi twisted her fingers together.

            

“Is something the matter?” Yan Xi swept her hair back and stood back up, walking over to pour herself a glass of water.

“I was wondering… if I should apply to study abroad.”

Yan Xi’s movement of drinking water stalled for a second or two before she took another sip. “Mn? Go after finishing your undergraduate degree?”

            

“Yes.” Anzhi’s breathing grew shallow. Unblinking, she carefully watched Yan Xi’s expression.

Yan Xi turned her face away. Her expression rippled slightly, her eyelashes trembling, as if she seemed slightly dazed for a moment. Then, she put on a smile and met Anzhi’s eyes. “That’s wonderful. With your grades, I’ve also felt it would be a pity to stop at a bachelor’s degree. Pursuing further studies is for the best.”

Anzhi’s eyes shone so brightly they looked ready to spill tears. She merely stared at Yan Xi, seeming to expect her to say something—anything—different.

            

Yan Xi’s throat bobbed. She took another sip of water and said, “You’re still young. It’s not suitable for you to consider entering the workforce too quickly. If you study abroad, whether it’s the level of scientific research or the environment itself, it will suit you better. There will be a broader horizon, better scenery, and… better people waiting for you.”

It was incredibly difficult for Yan Xi to speak those words. She tried her absolute hardest to keep her voice completely devoid of emotion, forcing her gaze to stay fixed on one spot so that she appeared to be deep in thought, rather than entirely afraid to look at Anzhi.

Anzhi’s eyelashes lowered, covering her eyes. Her heart plummeted heavily alongside them.

            

Silence reigned in the house for a long while.

Yan Xi’s glass was empty. She set it down and said, “Alright, no need to think about this right now, mn…”

She pressed her temples. “I’m heading upstairs.” She walked toward the stairs, but Anzhi suddenly called out to her, saying loudly, “But, Auntie, I don’t want to be too far away from you!”

            

“I don’t want to leave and be so far away from you.”

Yan Xi halted her steps. She lowered her head and exhaled a breath. Then, she turned around, looking at Anzhi with a complex gaze.

Anzhi was looking at her, too, the tip of her nose slightly red. Her small face looked as though it were yearning for a gentle touch.

            

Then, she ran over, thump-thump-thump, and threw herself into Yan Xi’s arms. The movement was a bit forceful, sending a slight jolt through Yan Xi.

Anzhi threw her arms around her waist, using up nearly every ounce of courage she possessed.

A faint, watery sheen pooled in the depths of Yan Xi’s eyes. She instinctively raised her hand to stroke Anzhi’s head, but forced herself to stop mid-air. Letting Anzhi hold her, she showed a small smile and comforted her. “I will always be by your side.”

            

Buried against her shoulder, Anzhi’s eyes stung.

“Alright.” Yan Xi steadied her. “No more crying now, you’ve grown up.” Yan Xi lowered her eyes and cast a glance at her. Anzhi’s lips moved as if she wanted to say something more.

But Yan Xi immediately let go of her, turned around, and headed upstairs.

            

---