Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 83

The Afternoon and the Dream

Yan Xi subconsciously retorted, “Why do you ask?”

“Huh?” Liu Yiyi blinked. “Aren’t there tons of young girls on Weibo clamoring to marry you? I was just asking off the cuff. Are you… nervous?”

            

Her question left Yan Xi stunned. She didn’t even know if she was nervous or not, and she immediately shook her head in denial. “How is that an off-the-cuff… I’m not nervous.”

“What’s the big deal? Younger women are great. I’ve seen female couples with huge age gaps.”

Yan Xi paused, then asked, “What are they like?”

            

“Very intimate. I’ve seen them in China and abroad. Last time, at the Gi— front row, I saw a pair. They were gorgeous. The blonde one was younger, sweet and sunny. The older one was taller than her by half a head—cold, proud, didn’t talk much.”

Liu Yiyi gestured. “But the whole time, her hand was like this, resting on her partner’s shoulder. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a natural display of affection.”

Yan Xi propped her chin on her hand, pulled into the scene Liu Yiyi was describing.

            

“So?” Liu Yiyi mirrored her pose, leaning in with a grin. “You haven’t seemed interested in men for years. Want to consider it?” She raised her eyebrows.

Yan Xi said, “…Why are you asking me that, too?”

“Oh? Who else asked?”

            

Of course, Yan Xi wasn’t about to mention Anzhi. “…I forget.”

“Oh,” Liu Yiyi said flatly.

Yan Xi asked hesitantly, “So… can you tell if a woman is bent?”

            

Liu Yiyi was confused. “What do you mean by that? What can you ‘tell’?”

“I mean, aren’t most gay women pretty androgynous?”

“Not at all. Plenty of them are very girly. You can’t judge by appearances.”

            

“I know that,” Yan Xi said, trying to express herself clearly. “Look, if it’s two men, it’s easy to understand that there’s…” Her words caught. “There’s a division of top and bottom¹, right?”

“Right.” Liu Yiyi nodded, her expression growing more interested.

“So, is it the same between women? Does there have to be one who’s more masculine and one who’s more feminine?”

            

“You mean in bed?” Liu Yiyi cut straight to the point.

“Er,” Yan Xi hadn’t expected her to be so bold and direct. “Not entirely… but also, yes?” Now that Liu Yiyi had said it, Yan Xi couldn’t help but let her thoughts stray in that direction.

Suddenly, her heart trembled with a strange, unfamiliar feeling.

            

“Well, that I wouldn’t know. I’ve never slept with a woman, after all.” Liu Yiyi shrugged. She took out her powder compact to check her makeup, patting her cheeks lightly with the puff before her eyes suddenly flicked to Yan Xi. “Yan Xiao Wu, you’re awfully curious, aren’t you?”

Yan Xi froze at her words and lowered her eyes. “We were on the topic, so I was just asking.”

Liu Yiyi snapped her compact shut. “Mm, now that you mention it, I’m getting curious, too. The pleasure between a man and a woman is mutual, which makes sense. Between two men, I can roughly understand it. But between two women, it has to be one-way, right? Does that mean only one person gets to enjoy it?”

            

Liu Yiyi spoke of such things without a hint of shyness, but Yan Xi’s cheeks were burning. She coughed lightly.

“After all,” Liu Yiyi said, examining her perfectly manicured fingers, “it’s done with these.”

Yan Xi’s eyes twitched. Her very first thought was—Taotao’s hand is burned.

            

The instant the thought surfaced, she immediately shook it away. What does this have to do with her burned hand?

Followed by—God, what are you thinking? That’s Taotao’s private business.

A jumble of thoughts and strange feelings rushed in, and Yan Xi started to feel dizzy. She pressed her long fingers to her temple.

            

“You’re acting a little strange today,” Liu Yiyi said, watching her with a grin. “I’ve never seen you so interested in the topic of homosexuality before.”

“Uh, it’s for the TV station. A survey…” Yan Xi had never lied in her life, and the sentence was full of holes.

“Hahahaha.” Liu Yiyi clearly knew she was lying but didn’t call her out on it, simply dissolving into peals of laughter.

            

Yan Xi was mortified. She told herself she wasn’t trying to lie, she was just protecting Taotao’s privacy. But she could have just told Liu Yiyi that she was curious about homosexuality. Why did she have to lie?

It only made her seem more guilty.

Wait, why should she feel guilty?

            

“If you’re really that curious, you can find little movies² online. You just have to climb the wall³,” Liu Yiyi said, her eyes cunning as she stared at her.

“No, no, no, no, I know how it works. I’ve seen…” Yan Xi nearly bit her tongue.

“Eh? You’ve seen one?” Liu Yiyi’s ears were sharp.

            

“No,” Yan Xi said, her face a mask. She couldn’t admit it.

Liu Yiyi said, “Oh? Hahahahahaha. It’s no big deal. It’s perfectly normal to have seen one. I’ve even seen gay porn⁴!” She fixed Yan Xi with a half-smile, laughing until Yan Xi’s scalp tingled. They didn’t continue shopping after that.

Of course Yan Xi hadn’t seen a “little movie.” She had seen a live-action version. She remembered it was during her second year of university. By then, Sun Yawei had already moved out.

            

That afternoon, she didn’t have class and had stayed in the dorm. Their dormitory was an apartment-style suite; the beds were lofts with integrated bookshelves and desks underneath. Yan Xi valued her personal space, so she had hung a curtain around her bed.

She was hidden in her little private space, reading, when the dorm room door was suddenly opened, followed by the sound of Sun Yawei’s voice and that of another girl.

“Hey, don’t be in such a hurry.”

            

“My apartment is empty right now, anyway. We haven’t done it here yet.”

Before Yan Xi had a chance to say she was there, she heard the sound of wet kisses, one after another, and muffled laughter—the kind people make when they’re laughing and kissing at the same time.

Yan Xi was mortified. The moment to speak had passed. All she could do was pretend she wasn’t there and try not to make a sound. Her bed was in the back of the room, and the two had been loud when they entered. A moment later, the other girl began to moan.

            

Yan Xi’s eyelids twitched. No one else was in the room. Every sound was infinitely amplified: the rustle of fabric being torn away, the thud of shoes being kicked off, the scrape of a chair moving, and the girl’s coquettish cry, “Ah, the desk bumped into me…”

Sun Yawei let out a playful laugh. Yan Xi didn’t know what she did next, but the girl started to hum and whimper.

Yan Xi covered her burning face. These two were way too bold. And did they have to be so loud?

            

Now she really was trapped, unable to leave and unable to not listen.

But then, something tugged at her heart, and Yan Xi slowly reached out a hand to lift a corner of the curtain.

The image left a deep, indelible impression on her younger self. At that moment, her mind was filled with a loud, rumbling sound.

            

Two girls were tangled together on the desk. The jeans of the girl under Sun Yawei were pulled down to her ankles, her legs spread, while Sun Yawei’s hand was buried between her thighs. From Yan Xi’s angle, she could see them both moving, lost in passion.

Yan Xi didn’t know how long she stared, dumbfounded. When she finally came to her senses, she hurriedly dropped the curtain. Her chest tightened, her heart threatening to burst.

Because she already disliked Sun Yawei, she couldn’t tell at the time if she was disgusted, shocked, or feeling something else entirely.

            

It was as if she’d been forcibly educated on something incredible.

And that was all.

She locked the image in the deepest part of her mind and paid it no attention.

            

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That night, when she returned home, Anzhi was already asleep. Yan Xi gently pushed open her bedroom door and walked quietly to the bedside, leaning down to examine the wound on the back of her hand.

In the faint glow of the wall lamp, her sleeping face was peaceful and lovely. She wasn’t fussing like she had the past two nights. A gentle smile spread across Yan Xi’s lips as she brushed a stray strand of hair from the girl’s face.

Actually, her fussing is quite cute, too.

            

A girl in her teens seemed to change by the day. Though she saw her every day, for some reason, at this moment she felt a sense of unfamiliarity. Yan Xi’s hand followed the curve of her face, tracing the last vestiges of her childish features.

Suddenly, Anzhi’s cheek twitched, and her dimple bloomed like a small flower.

Yan Xi’s smile deepened in response. Then, very naturally, she leaned down. It was only when her lips were about to touch Anzhi’s cheek that Yan Xi abruptly realized what she was doing.

            

Her heart skipped a beat. She hastily sat upright. That wasn’t all; she shot to her feet.

In the dead of night, all was still. The moon was hidden, and her heart was in turmoil.

Yan Xi didn’t dare stay any longer and returned to her own room.

            

Back in her own familiar, private space, Yan Xi calmed down and found the situation a little amusing. What am I doing? It’s just a little kiss for Anzhi, like an adult kissing a child. What is there to feel guilty about?

There had just been too many trivial matters lately, muddling her thoughts. Yan Xi decided she needed a good night’s sleep, a proper rest.

Yan Xi thought she would fall asleep as she ought to, but in a flash, she seemed to return to that afternoon, the scorching sun blocked by a curtain, the drone of summer cicadas, the faint rattling of the desk, and the soft moans of the girls’ passion.

            

The weather was hot, the blazing sun like golden light. In the blink of an eye, the golden light dimmed, her vision turning gray. The cicadas stopped their screeching, replaced by a cool, gray silence, the color of spring onions—vibrant, yet desolate.

Two girls were by the living room sofa. The short-haired one leaned in to kiss the sleeping girl.

Yan Xi’s thick lashes trembled. She frowned, her hand twitching as if to stop it.

            

The image vanished. Yan Xi rolled over, relaxing her body and sinking into a deep sleep. Her features softened. The familiar bed and blankets were as soft as a cloud. She sank into them, sleeping soundly.

She grasped the cloud, hugging it tight, and discovered something more substantial within it. It was soft, fragrant, and slightly warm—the temperature of a human body. It seemed to still carry the steam from a recent bath. A soft arm hooked around her neck, bringing with it a faint sense of weight.

Yan Xi opened her eyes. She threw back the covers. A girl’s beautiful, naked body was in her arms. Skin like it had been soaked in milk, tiny peaches flushed red—all of it came into view.

            

The girl’s sleepy, sweet voice was in her ear. “…Auntie, I want a kiss.”

The sensory overload was immense. Yan Xi couldn’t breathe. She shot up in bed, gasping in short, rapid breaths. Only then did she truly wake up. The night was silent, lit by a single lamp. There was no one there but her.

Yan Xi leaned against the headboard, propping herself up with one hand while sweeping back her messy hair. She had slept in a long, thin satin shirt, and now the collar was damp with a thin sheen of sweat, the shape of her collarbones faintly visible.

            

She reached for the vacuum cup on the bedside table, the trembling of her hand betraying her panic.

After finally managing to unscrew the lid and take a sip, Yan Xi felt herself slowly coming back to her senses. The images from the dream gradually sharpened. She murmured weakly, “Oh my God…”

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