Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 82
by Little PandaWhat About a Younger Girl?
Yan Xi wrapped an arm around her back, lifted her leg, and frowned at the bruise.
“Does it hurt?”
Anzhi blinked. With Yan Xi’s hand holding her calf, she leaned closer. The skin at Yan Xi’s collarbone was as smooth and white as soap, and with her breaths came the familiar, faint scent of Kai lotion.
“Come down here. I’ll go get some medicine and rub it in for you.”
Anzhi didn’t really want to. But if they kept holding each other like this, she didn’t know what might slip out of her mouth.
She sat on the carpet and watched Yan Xi go to the cabinet to retrieve a bottle of Wanhua bruise oil1. Yan Xi poured a little liquid into her palm and massaged it in. “Anywhere else?”
Anzhi pulled up her nightgown to check. “Here, there’s another spot. I don’t even know when I bumped it.”
Another bruise sat on the side of her leg, dangerously close to her buttocks.
Yan Xi froze. The image of slipping her hand under the young girl’s skirt that night flashed through her mind. She coughed. “Apply the rest yourself.” She looked away.
Anzhi lowered her eyes. “Mn.” She rubbed the medicine into the bruised area herself.
“All right, if you’re fine, hurry up and go to sleep.” Yan Xi turned and went straight into her own room.
Anzhi stared at her retreating back in frustration. She had made Yan Xi uncomfortable. She was too greedy.
She had promised herself not to let Yan Xi find out. But after discovering that nothing was going to happen between Yan Xi and Liao Chengyu, Anzhi’s little thoughts had started acting up again.
What if… what if there was even the slightest possibility that she might like her back?
How could that be possible? Anzhi quickly rejected the thought herself. Just a moment ago… Yan Xi had completely excluded me from being a potential romantic partner.
Back in her room, Yan Xi smoothed her hair down.
Even though Anzhi was fifteen now, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with girls hugging each other, right? Besides, she was just acting spoiled. Why had she felt so uncomfortable? Was it because of Anzhi’s sexual orientation?
Yan Xi silently reprimanded herself.
In university, after her wretched experience with Sun Yawei, she had felt repulsed by the idea for a long time. Yet it had also genuinely piqued her curiosity, leading her to read a few books on the subject. After Anzhi confessed her orientation, Yan Xi had gone back to look up more materials and studies.
Previously, she had always assumed there had to be some specific trigger for Anzhi to realize she liked girls. Now, she felt that idea might not be entirely accurate.
Sexual orientation should be a perfectly natural thing. Just as she had eventually understood, someone’s sexual orientation was like some people preferring apples while others preferred pears — there was nothing wrong with it. Some people figured it out early, and some figured it out late. Anzhi perhaps simply belonged to the group that figured it out early.
Yan Xi felt she had been somewhat derelict in her duties. Perhaps when Anzhi first realized her orientation, she had gone through a massive internal struggle and profound fear, and Yan Xi hadn’t noticed a thing.
Although Anzhi had grown up by her side and she was considered her guardian, Yan Xi never felt she could stand in the position of a traditional elder to educate her, nor did she assume that an elder’s views were always right. She certainly wasn’t omnipotent. She had never been a mother herself, and the time she had spent with her own mother was very short. So during all these years of living with Anzhi, Yan Xi had simply operated on instinct, treating Anzhi the best way she could imagine.
There were bound to be oversights, but Yan Xi believed she had done her absolute best within her abilities.
Had Anzhi been influenced by her over these past ten years?
Yes. She had provided a safe and comfortable environment for her.
Beyond that, Yan Xi thought, she hadn’t really done much else.
Academically, Anzhi had never caused her a moment’s worry. Who knew how many parents agonized over their children’s studies, to the point where it affected the family’s finances and parent-child relationships.
In daily life, Anzhi had known how to take care of herself since she was little. She could even cook. And because of her, Yan Xi’s own life had become much more regimented. Yan Xi might have given up some of her own entertainment, but looking back, she had no regrets or complaints. Anzhi had brought her endless joy, too.
Yan Xi thought that if she had been in Anzhi’s position, experiencing so many hardships in her youth, there was no way she would have turned out like her. Anzhi had grown into such an outstanding, lovely girl all on her own. It was as if Yan Xi had unexpectedly brought home a tiny seedling, only given it some water and sunlight, and then suddenly discovered one day that it had blossomed into full, vibrant bloom.
A gentle smile spread across Yan Xi’s face.
In the blink of an eye, she was already fifteen. Truthfully, time passed too quickly. Before, she had only wanted Anzhi to grow up safely by her side.
And now…
What kind of person would be worthy of Anzhi’s affection? For the first time, Yan Xi began to ponder this question.
She wasn’t someone who pried into the private lives of those around her. She might pay a bit more attention to her brothers, and to her best female friend Liu Yiyi, though Liu Yiyi didn’t need any prompting — she would report every trivial detail on her own.
Moreover, she had noticed quite a few gay men in her life, but she truly hadn’t paid attention to lesbians. Aside from Sun Yawei back in university, who had explicitly liked women, there was only Xu Jia’er.
Both of them had rather androgynous, handsome appearances. Yan Xi knew she was falling into stereotypes — girls could dress however they wanted, and dressing androgynously didn’t automatically make someone a lesbian. But lesbians did tend to lean toward androgynous styles, didn’t they?
But Anzhi was soft, fair, and delicate. She had been very girly since she was a child. She rarely even spoke loudly, and her athletic abilities were virtually nonexistent. And yet she liked girls, too.
Yan Xi found it very difficult to picture what Anzhi would look like in love. Perhaps she still thought of her as too young. Let alone trying to imagine what she would look like dating another girl. She had been actively avoiding the issue before. Even when she suspected she might be dating Xu Jia’er, she had felt unable to accept it while simultaneously knowing she had to, so she had opted for a cold-treatment approach, merely emphasizing that her studies should come first.
Now she had to face this romance issue head-on. Because someone had already bullied Anzhi right in front of her.
Anxiety lingered in her heart, refusing to dissipate.
Anzhi was going to date someone eventually. What kind of person would it take for her to feel at ease?
The next day, Liu Yiyi asked her out shopping. She had a mountain of complaints to unleash on her. “I’m telling you, Yan Yinan is such a coward!” Her makeup was flawless, but her face was full of disdain as she held up a white shirt to check the size.
“He asked me to get close to Doctor Yu to scope her out. Can you believe it? They work in the exact same hospital, and he doesn’t even know her basic information! I brought a bunch of cosmetics and clothes to sponsor the little nurses just to get her shift schedule. Then I ran to the hospital and asked her out to dinner. Ugh! Anyone who didn’t know better would think I was the one trying to court her!”
Yan Xi shook her head and laughed.
Liu Yiyi continued to vent as she handed the clothes she liked to the shop assistant. “I think he has zero chance! Let me tell you, that Doctor Yu is something else. She’s way too outstanding, far too much of a mature yujie2 type. She isn’t someone a sissy like him can handle! And do you know where her hometown is? Chongqing! Who doesn’t know that Chongqing is the Ji capital3!”
Her voice had risen, and several other customers in the shop turned their heads.
The shop assistant’s eyes went wide.
“Ah? You’re from Chongqing? Haha, I wasn’t wrong, was I?”
The shop assistant merely shrugged.
“Ah? Is it?” Yan Xi put on an expression that clearly said, “I had no idea.”
Liu Yiyi rolled her eyes at her and went on. “Anyway, I finally managed to steer the conversation toward Yan Yinan. I asked her what her impression of Xiao Nan was.”
“And guess what she said? She said, ‘Mn, he’s quite pretty!'”
“…”
Liu Yiyi let out a defeated sigh. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a woman evaluate a man as ‘pretty’… Do you think he has a chance?”
Yan Xi fought back a smile. “I don’t know…”
“Not a chance in hell! I’d sooner believe Doctor Yu is bent than believe she’d ever fall for Yan Yinan.”
“Don’t say that. My Third Brother is very beautiful. You never know,” Yan Xi laughed.
Liu Yiyi burst out laughing. “That’s true. Beautiful!”
After picking out menswear, Liu Yiyi dragged Yan Xi along to look at women’s clothing. The autumn and winter collections had just arrived. The commercial district was fully equipped with dazzling restaurants and boutiques, all elegantly decorated and relaxing. They took a seat at a rest area.
“Enough about him. Let’s talk about you.”
“Talk about me what?” Yan Xi shot her a glance.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m your Second Sister-in-law now, so it’s my duty to care about you!” Liu Yiyi waved her hand dismissively. “Is it awkward running into that Liao Chengyu now?”
“A little at first, but it’s been much better these last few days. We’re adults, after all.” Yan Xi brushed it off.
“Mn…” Liu Yiyi eyed her carefully. “Yan Xiao Wu, don’t you feel like you haven’t been interested in men at all these past few years?”
Yan Xi looked at her questioningly. “What are you trying to say now?”
“Yan Xiao Wu, could you accept dating a guy younger than you?”
Yan Xi shook her head. “I’ve never even thought about it. No.”
“Do you know why some women our age or older can accept older woman-younger man romances4? Because the quality of men these days is just too poor. Look at men and women in our age group. The moment a man achieves even a tiny bit of success, he becomes unbearably arrogant—not to mention the huge number of ugly and fat ones. But women are different. Most women with even a bit of a career take excellent care of themselves. So why on earth should we settle for a man like that? Why can’t we just pick a young, handsome piece of fresh meat5?”
“It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have money. Jiejie has money. As long as he’s obedient, sweet, and loyal to me, that’s enough.”
Yan Xi couldn’t argue with that. “That does make sense… But I am absolutely certain I don’t like younger men.”
Liu Yiyi fluttered her charming eyes, accentuated by long, thick false eyelashes, looking deep and alluring. “What about a younger girl, then?”
“Ah?” Yan Xi stammered for no reason. “What did you say?”
Footnotes
- A well-known traditional Chinese herbal liniment used to treat bruises, sprains, and minor burns.
- An internet slang term borrowed from the Japanese 'onee-san' (older sister). It describes a strong, mature, and confident older woman.
- Chongqing, a major metropolis in southwestern China, is jokingly referred to by netizens as the 'lesbian capital' (姬都, jī dū) due to its high concentration of beautiful women and active wlw community.
- A Chinese slang term describing a romantic relationship where the woman is older than the man. Literally 'older sister-younger brother romance.'
- A direct translation of 'xiǎo xiān ròu' (little fresh meat), a popular Chinese slang term for a young, handsome, and usually inexperienced man. In the original text, this term was censored by the platform.
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