Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 84

Earrings and Lingerie

When Yan Yidong called, he hadn’t expected Yan Xi to agree to the blind date. For this sister more than a decade his junior, he doted on her as if she were the daughter he never had: “It’s not really a blind date. Just meet him once. First Brother isn’t forcing you. It’s just… you’ve been single for so long…”

If she had refused, Yan Yidong had been prepared to bring in Grandfather Yan and Grandmother Yan. But to his surprise, after a moment of silence on the other end of the phone, Yan Xi agreed.

            

Restaurant. Yan Xi was dining with a man across from her.

The man opposite her was the person Yan Yidong had introduced—an associate professor in the university’s mathematics department, a PhD, in his early thirties. Polite and well-spoken. But Yan Xi’s mind began to wander, and a sense of dullness quietly crept into her heart.

The restaurant was a good one, situated by the river, perched high with a commanding view. One could clearly see the boundless river scenery. If it snowed, snowflakes would drift down over the murmuring river, reflecting the star-like lights along the shore—a scene difficult to imagine, both magnificent and beautiful.

            

Yan Xi remembered—it was on a snowy night just like this that she and Anzhi had gotten out of the car to watch the river’s snowy scenery, and when they returned home, Anzhi had told her she liked girls.

The mathematics professor across from her was still speaking eloquently: “Operations research is actually an important branch of applied mathematics, but currently most universities have many problems in training students in this field. Last month I wrote a paper specifically analyzing this topic, for example…”

Yan Xi took a sip of red wine, her face wearing the standard host’s smile—eight teeth showing, no more, no less—warm and gentle, though her thoughts had wandered who knows where. She brushed aside a strand of hair near her ear, her fingertips touching her Tiffany¹ pearl earrings. The sensation was faintly cool.

            

That dream had affected Yan Xi deeply.

For several days she couldn’t forgive herself, nor could she properly face Anzhi. Fortunately, Anzhi was busy preparing for the competition and her schoolwork, and probably hadn’t noticed anything unusual about her.

She blamed herself, and she blamed Liu Yiyi too. It must have been because they’d talked so much about gay topics that day that she ended up dreaming about Sun Yawei and her girlfriend. Fortunately, there hadn’t been anything too excessive in the dream. Yan Xi steadied her thoughts. She had helped Anzhi bathe, so she dreamed of her not wearing clothes. And a few days ago Anzhi had acted spoiled and asked for kisses.

            

Mm, that’s why she dreamed it. Definitely.

Thinking this way made her feel much better.

But usually dreams like this would be forgotten the next day, wouldn’t they? Yet Yan Xi hadn’t forgotten. She remembered the later parts with particular clarity—the touch, the sounds, the way it looked…

            

Yan Xi abruptly pushed away the images in her mind. She reached for the red wine glass, then reconsidered and picked up the water glass instead, taking a large gulp, trying to concentrate.

The room was quiet. Anzhi rubbed her brow and put down her pen—she couldn’t write for too long; her hand still hurt.

A light was left on in the living room, and another at the first-floor entryway.

            

“Are you going out?” Anzhi asked her. Yan Xi had finished blow-drying her hair. A shirt and long pants, plus a coat. Very simple attire. Her makeup was light too, no different from usual—she had only changed her lipstick color.

“Mm…” Yan Xi glanced at her through the mirror, paused, then said, “A blind date.”

Anzhi stood there silently, her fingers digging into her palm.

            

“Will you be okay by yourself? I shouldn’t be back too late.”

“…I’ll be fine.” Anzhi looked up at Yan Xi. Even in simple clothes, her curly hair falling loose, her eyes captivating—stirring the heart.

She had no standing to say anything. Her earlier petulance had already made Yan Xi uncomfortable. She could feel her awkwardness.

            

“Wear those earrings,” Anzhi said suddenly.

“Which ones?”

“The Tiffany pearl ones—the ones with the gold chain. They’re beautiful.”

            

Yan Xi took out that pair, picked them up, swept aside her hair, and tilted her head to put on one side. Her face slightly angled as she studied herself—she thought they looked good, so she put on the other side as well.

The earrings were gold chains ending in a single pearl—vintage and elegant—glowing with a soft luster under the light.

Anzhi’s gaze traveled from her snowy white earlobe to the corner of her mouth, which held a faint smile. She slowly lowered her lashes, heart bitter, unable to speak.

            

“I’ll go back to studying then.” Anzhi turned and walked a few steps.

Yan Xi called out to her from behind: “Taotao?”

Anzhi turned back and saw a glint of light flash quickly through her eyes. “You… will you be okay by yourself?” It seemed like she hadn’t meant to say this—she had switched to this sentence at the last moment.

            

Anzhi smiled faintly: “…You just asked that. I’ll be fine.”

“Right.” Yan Xi paused. She seemed to be hesitating over something, her gaze not meeting Anzhi’s for long—sweeping past her body, then veering away. “…Is the underwear fitting properly?”

Anzhi paused. Why bring this up suddenly?

            

“Oh, if it doesn’t fit, I’ll buy you a proper one when I come back later.” Yan Xi still wasn’t looking at her.

Anzhi lowered her head and gave a shy little “Mm.”

The room suddenly went quiet, the air settling with an atmosphere that was hard to explain.

            

“Then… I’m going out.” Yan Xi smoothed her hair and went downstairs. Anzhi followed her footsteps to the stairwell entrance. She watched her go down, listened to her gently close the door at the first-floor entryway, and a moment later, heard the sound of a car starting.

And now Anzhi was standing at the stairwell entrance. Downstairs on the first floor it was quiet. She still hadn’t come back. Anzhi sat down at the stairwell entrance. The lights remained on. Outside, the sky was dark.

Maybe there was a moon outside, maybe not.

            

On many nights when she was little, Anzhi had done homework while waiting for Yan Xi to come home from work—it seemed to have become a habit.

Anzhi hugged her knees, resting her head against them, her glossy black hair falling like a waterfall, long locks just covering her slender shoulders.

She could only watch her leave, wait for her to return. Maybe one day she would be able to see her, maybe not.

            

Yan Xi finally couldn’t stand the professor’s long-winded lecture across from her, so she found an excuse to leave. When he asked for her phone number, she declined.

The moment she left the restaurant and got into her car, she couldn’t even remember what the professor looked like—she only remembered that the salmon had tasted decent.

Yan Xi gave a self-deprecating laugh. Done for. She was probably going to die alone.

            

She sat in the car for a while, rummaging through the compartments. There was a tin of candy Anzhi had left in the car—sealed tight. She peeled one open and put it in her mouth.

Fruit candy. Shaped like an orange segment.

Only then did Yan Xi drive home. Winter nights were always very cold. Streetlights cast a weary orange glow. Outside, advertisements were plastered on billboards, and large screens displayed commercials for some brand of toner.

            

Yan Xi’s mind shifted. She drove into the shopping mall’s parking lot. Wearing a long military-green coat, her long legs in high heels, she entered the mall and came to a lingerie shop.

Anzhi had just reached the age to start wearing bras. She picked pure cotton, plain white, shaping style, and maybe a slightly larger size.

She also picked out a set of the style she usually wore.

            

As she was about to check out, another set caught her eye. White tones, with lace at the chest that was barely visible against the skin. No clasps, no straps—just two thin ribbons tied at the back of the neck and the back.

Very girlish. Very pure, yet alluring. And very tempting.

Yan Xi bit her lip and stared at it for a long time.

            

Even the sales associate came over smiling: “This one might be too small for you, and it’s rather youthful. There’s another style from the same brand that would suit you better…”

“No, no, no, I’m just… looking.” A faint flush quickly rose on Yan Xi’s cheeks. She let go of the lingerie as if burned, paid, and left the mall.

After getting into the car, she simply rolled down the window to let the cold air in.

            

Aftereffects. Definitely aftereffects from that dream the other day. She exhaled. What was wrong with her lately? She was practically lamenting.

“Emotional emptiness.” Liu Yiyi would definitely say that.

“Emotional and physical double-layer emptiness.” Yan Yinan would probably say this.

            

“Thirty is a major turning point for every woman, Xiao Wu. The pressure from society and physiology—it’s normal.” That’s what Eldest Sister-in-law had told her.

“Will it get better after thirty?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

            

Yan Xi rubbed her temples. Maybe it would pass in a few days. She finally drove home.

The room was warm inside.

She held the shopping bag and walked up the stairs. At the stairwell entrance sat a familiar figure—her head buried between her knees, soft hair falling loose.

            

“Taotao, why are you here?”

Anzhi lifted her head. One cheek had a faint red mark from pressing against her knee. She rubbed her eyes. “You’re back?”

“I’m back. Were you waiting for me here?”

            

Anzhi lowered her head to hide that she wanted to stand up: “No, I just came out because I was bored…” The moment she moved, her legs were numb, and she nearly lost her balance.

Yan Xi freed one hand and caught her in time. Anzhi tipped into her embrace.

Her embrace carried the chill of the cold night outside and a faint scent of perfume. She was wearing high heels, and Anzhi barely reached her shoulder—solidly held in a full embrace.

            

Anzhi’s heart suddenly skipped several beats. She didn’t dare move. She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but Yan Xi seemed to stiffen too.

The hands of time seemed to stop for several seconds.

Then they slowly started moving again.

            

Yan Xi casually patted her shoulder and let go. “I have something for you.” She handed her the shopping bag.

Anzhi steadied herself, took the bag and looked. “Th-thank you.” She swallowed and followed her into the living room. “How… how did the blind date go?”

“Boring.” Yan Xi spread her hands.

            

Anzhi secretly breathed a sigh of relief. “Will you see him again?”

“No.” Yan Xi was very certain.

Anzhi pursed her lips, feeling that her own happiness was a bit bittersweet. At least she didn’t have to worry about this… but there would be another one.

            

“Is your exam tomorrow or the day after?”

“The day after. And then finals come right after.”

Time was tight. If she placed well in this final, she could enter the national training team and then participate in the international ICHO² competition.

            

Anzhi was determined to make the training team. But her hand hadn’t fully healed yet, and she worried it would affect her exam performance.

This was the first time she felt nervous about an exam. The young girl’s pale neck was slender, the curve of her chin soft and elegant. Because of anxiety, she lightly bit her lip.

Pink and plump, like petals.

            

Yan Xi shifted her gaze away and said quietly: “Don’t worry. You’ll do fine… have confidence in yourself…”

This encouragement was as plain as plain water. Yan Xi internally criticized herself—wasn’t she a literature student? Wasn’t she supposed to be a host? Was this really her vocabulary…

But Anzhi seemed encouraged—she narrowed her eyes slightly and smiled, nodding. “Mm.”

            

Yan Xi gazed at her dimples and gave a soft sigh.

The night was hazy. Yan Xi tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

She simply got up. On the nightstand was something Liu Yiyi had given her.

            

Her steps hesitated. She didn’t open the drawer.

Pulling on a robe, she went to the third floor—to her photography room. Magazines, cameras, developed prints—everything was there.

She spent the whole night there.

            

---