Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 63
by Little PandaMy Sweetheart (Part 1)
The guests partied until evening, each leaving in high spirits. The younger generation gathered on the second floor.
Grandfather and Grandmother Yan sat together, holding hands. For as long as any of the children could remember, the two elders had always been the very picture of loving, kind, and affectionate partners who never seemed to get angry.
Their hair was entirely white, their faces gentle and benevolent. Every line and every wrinkle was a testament to the years they had shared. When they looked at you, you felt encouraged, as if anything was easy, nothing was a big deal, and nothing was impossible.
They sat in the seats of honor, surrounded by the children, all of them chatting and laughing.
Grandfather Yan smiled. “Every year on my birthday, I have to sing a song for the children. This year is no exception, of course.”
Grandmother Yan, in a rare moment of clarity, looked at him with a smile. “You’re a year older today, old man. I wonder if that voice of yours can still carry a tune.”
Grandfather Yan let out a hearty laugh. “If you can still play, I can still sing.”
Smiling, Grandmother Yan stood and walked over to the piano.
The children laughed, hooting and cheering.
Yan Yinan shouted, “Go, Grandmother! Show this old man what you’ve got!”
Yan Yidong shot him a glare. Yan Yinan stuck his tongue out at his First Brother, who just shook his head and smiled.
Grandmother Yan sat at the piano. She had been an elegant and beautiful woman since her youth, and she still was. Before she began to play, she performed a small, familiar ritual: she twisted the ring on her finger and tilted her neck back slightly.
Then she turned and smiled at her children and her husband. A magnificent, flowing melody poured from her nimble fingertips.
The children’s faces broke into familiar smiles. Grandfather Yan stood up. Dressed for the birthday banquet, he wore a sharp, well-fitting suit that made him look clean and handsome.
“Ahem…” Grandfather Yan straightened his back, which was no longer as firm as it once was. He reached for his collar and made a show of adjusting an imaginary bow tie, making a few of the younger ones giggle.
He stood tall, and the stage presence from his many years of performing returned to him.
“In the garden, late at night, all is quiet,
Only the wind is softly singing.
How lovely the night, how cheerful the heart,
On this enchanting evening…”1
His baritone voice was rich and melodious. The children were all familiar with this song; their grandparents had been humming it to them since they were little. As they had aged, Grandfather Yan’s voice had lost some of its power, and Grandmother Yan’s rhythm was not as precise as it once was.
But they all still listened with rapt attention. The two elders, one playing and one singing, would occasionally exchange glances and smile at each other.
First Brother Yan and Eldest Sister-in-law Yan shook their heads, swaying to the rhythm as they looked at one another. Liu Yiyi’s gaze fell upon Yan Yixi.
Yan Yinan grinned, tapping out the beat.
Grandfather Yan sang the first verse, then switched to Russian to repeat the next short section.
He turned to look at Grandmother Yan, his eyes full of deep affection, and switched back to Chinese for the next lines:
“My sweetheart sits beside me,
Silently looking at me, saying nothing.
I want to speak to you, but I’m too shy…”
Yan Yinan whooped, and Da Pang and Xiao Pang laughed. “Ah, Great-grandfather is so sappy…”
“…So many words remain in my heart.”
Anzhi stole a glance at Yan Xi and saw her smiling as she watched her grandparents, a faint light shimmering in her eyes. Anzhi stared at her. Yan Xi didn’t look back, but she occasionally lowered her lashes, a thoughtful expression on her face.
What is she thinking?
Did she remember someone?
Has she ever loved someone?
Is she still in love with that person?
Anzhi watched her for a long time. When she finally pulled her gaze away, she found Liu Yiyi looking at her. Anzhi lowered her head.
Night fell outside, and the temperature dropped. Inside, however, waves of laughter and cheer filled the room as the children put their own worries aside to make the two elders happy.
After dinner, Yan Yixi and Liu Yiyi were the first to head out.
Yan Yixi started toward the garage to get the car, but Liu Yiyi stood rooted to the spot without a word. Yan Yixi glanced at her, seeming to wait for her to speak, but Liu Yiyi’s face was grim, and she remained silent.
The two of them just stood there foolishly in the front yard.
After a long moment, Yan Yixi spoke. “Let me take you home.” He stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Liu Yiyi’s shoulder. At this one small gesture, all of Liu Yiyi’s carefully constructed fortitude crumbled. She lifted her face, her eyes misty. “Yixi, tell me the truth. Do you not like me?”
Yan Yixi said nothing, his brow furrowed tightly.
“If you don’t like me, just tell me. As long as you say it clearly, I, Liu Yiyi… I, Liu Yiyi…” Liu Yiyi’s voice caught in her throat, but she forced the words out. “I fucking swear I will never bother you again!”
Her voice was loud and trembling. Yan Yinan, Yan Xi, and Anzhi, who were coming out behind them, heard everything.
The three of them stopped in their tracks. A worried expression crossed Yan Xi’s face, and she quickly grabbed Yan Yinan, who had been about to step forward.
“I’m not trying to gossip, I just… I need to get my car…”
“I have to get back, too,” Yan Xi said. “But… never mind, let’s just wait.”
“I have to get back to the hospital for my shift!”
“We’ll go to the garage that way. Taotao, come.” Yan Xi turned and led Taotao and Yan Yinan back the way they came.
Liu Yiyi continued to stare stubbornly at Yan Yixi, trying her best not to cry. Seeing her tears, his eye twitched. He pulled a pack of tissues from his pocket, took one out, and gently wiped her tears away.
His tender action made Liu Yiyi’s expression soften. Her eyes were fixed on his face, as if unwilling to miss a single one of his movements.
Yan Yixi gazed at her face. “Yiyi, I like you a lot. And I really like being with you.”
Tears still wet on her cheeks, Liu Yiyi looked at him and her lips curved into a smile. But then she seemed to realize something. “But?” she asked, her voice trembling. “There’s a ‘but,’ isn’t there?”
Yan Yixi was silent again for a long time. Finally, he let out a long breath. “The most important things in my life are my family and science. I never thought I would start a family or have a partner.”
He looked at Liu Yiyi, a smile rising in his eyes. “But then you appeared. I know you like me, and I know you have a very lively personality. I’m very old-fashioned. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for us to be together.”
It seemed to be the first time Liu Yiyi had ever heard him say so much at once. She blinked her damp lashes, staring at him without moving. But his next words made her frown.
“Do you know what the ‘uncertainty principle’ is? It’s a concept in quantum mechanics proposed by the German physicist Heisenberg…”2
“Wait, wait, don’t talk to me about that… Just say what you want to say.”
Yan Yixi smiled slightly. “Alright, I won’t talk about it.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you to talk about it,” Liu Yiyi added. “Look, to be with you, I went and read a lot of physics books. I didn’t want you to think I was too ignorant. I even watched The Big Bang Theory,3 but… but I just couldn’t understand what they were talking about…”
Yan Yixi’s smile widened. “It’s okay that you don’t understand. I would never say you’re ignorant. It’s not your problem, it’s mine.”
He paused. “About five years ago, I had a physical… I have oligospermia.4 If we’re together, I can’t give you a child. And Yiyi, a wonderful girl like you deserves to have everything any other woman in the world can have… I can’t be so selfish…”
Liu Yiyi’s mouth fell open as she stared at him in shock.
Having said his piece, Yan Yixi lowered his head and looked at her gently, raising a hand to stroke her cheek. “I’ll support whatever you decide. Let me take you home first.”
With that, he turned and walked toward the garage. Liu Yiyi watched his retreating back, an unbearable ache in her chest. She stood frozen in place, her mind a chaotic mess. When Yan Yixi drove the car out, she was still standing there. He waited for a moment, but she didn’t get in. He sighed, got out of the car, and waited for her by the passenger door.
Liu Yiyi looked at him, then fiercely wiped her face and ran to him, throwing her arms around him. “You said you’d support my decision, right? Then I want to be with you.”
Yan Yixi froze, placing his hands on her shoulders in a daze. “But…”
“I want to be with you,” Liu Yiyi repeated. “There are many ways to build a family, but the family I dream of must have you in it. It must have you. That’s what I want most.”
“I only like you, I only want you,” Liu Yiyi murmured. She stood on her toes and pressed a light kiss to his lips.
Yan Yixi’s gaze trembled, and his hands slowly tightened around her. He bent his head, leaning his forehead against hers. “…You’ve decided?”
“Mm.”
“But I… but you… but we…” Yan Yixi was certain this was the first time in his life he had ever stuttered.
“None of that matters.”
Yan Yixi closed his eyes, then lifted her face and kissed her.
Snowflakes began to drift down from the night sky, fine and sparse, floating down from above to settle gently in their hair.
It was this year’s long-overdue first snow.
Footnotes
- ‘Moscow Nights’ (莫斯科郊外的晚上, Mòsīkē jiāowài de wǎnshàng) is a famous Russian song that became extremely popular in China during the Soviet era and remains a classic, often associated with nostalgia and romance.
- The uncertainty principle is a fundamental concept in quantum mechanics. Yan Yixi, a theoretical physicist, is trying to explain his feelings using a scientific analogy.
- A popular American sitcom (2007-2019) centered on a group of socially awkward but brilliant physicists.
- 少精症 (shǎo jīng zhèng) is the medical term for a low sperm count, which can affect male fertility.
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