Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 111
by Little PandaRabbits Are Cuter
Rather than calling it a vacation, Yan Xi’s trip this time was more about wanting to change her environment and walk around. There wasn’t much planning involved.
She liked the quiet and sacred scenery of Lhasa, but perhaps her thoughts were too chaotic. She was absent-minded and didn’t experience any sense of profound enlightenment.
Instead, it was that name in her WeChat Moments, a small “like,” that plucked at her heartstrings. Over the past two months, she had watched that minute-long video countless times, telling herself it was enough. She restrained herself from looking at even a single thing more.
But tonight, she finally had the courage to scroll through Anzhi’s Moments.
Anzhi didn’t update her Moments very frequently, and in her most recent photos, she had just finished her Thanksgiving holiday.
She had taken advantage of the few days off for Thanksgiving to buy some kitchenware. On Thanksgiving Day itself, she had even made dumplings, inviting her dormmates from the same building to eat. There were four of them in total: her, a young Black man, a blonde girl, and a young red-haired man. The four of them were smiling in a selfie, with several empty plates on the table in front of them.
She had written on the photo: “hand-made Sanxian dumplings1, completely wiped out in the end. Haha.”
Sanxian dumplings were Yan Xi’s favorite.
Anzhi was smiling, her eyes curved into crescents. She seemed to have regained her fair complexion, and her hair had grown a lot longer.
Yan Xi’s lips curled up. There were many comments under the photo. They shared a lot of mutual friends; she could see a whole row of names: Yang Mengmeng, Liu Yiyi, Yan Yinan, her third brother’s wife, her eldest brother’s wife, Yan Da Pang, Yan Xiao Pang, and so on.
Yan Xi’s fingertips trembled slightly as she hit the “like” button. Her name appeared at the very bottom of the list. Would Anzhi be able to see it?
She couldn’t help but scroll down to see her past posts.
“It snowed heavily yesterday, even more than back home. I want to build a snowman.”
“Ah, so cold. Went to MIT today.”
“The lobster combo at Legal Sea Foods is pretty good. Look how big the lobster is.”
That was from last month.
…
There were even earlier ones.
“The vibe of Widener Library really is like Hogwarts, isn’t it?”
“There are so many little squirrels on campus. They aren’t afraid of people at all and even beg for food. So cute.”
“The famous Statue of Three Lies at Harvard. Rumor has it that if you rub his shoe, you can get into Harvard University. See? His shoe has been rubbed until it’s shiny.”
“From now on, I’ll be studying here! So happy.” This was from her first day.
The tone of her WeChat Moments read as if she was sharing things with a specific person. Yan Xi carefully scrolled through, reading and savoring them over and over. She didn’t realize that she was liking the posts as she read them. By the time she caught herself, she had finished reading and liking everything—meaning the other party would instantly receive a whole string of her little hearts.
Her movements stalled, and the tips of her ears involuntarily grew numb. She rubbed them in embarrassment and hastily un-liked a few of them.
Then she thought, even if she canceled them, Anzhi would still be able to see the notifications, right? Would she think that the posts she un-liked weren’t interesting? But that wasn’t what she meant at all!
In the dead of this quiet night, Yan Xi held her phone, tapping away, before finally covering her face.
“Honestly, at my age…” She set her phone aside and let out a sigh.
Yan Xi stayed in Lhasa for four or five days before departing for Chengdu. She remembered how Anzhi had always wanted to see pandas in the past. But she had been busy with work, Anzhi had been busy with her studies, and it had been delayed until they simply never went.
Yan Xi arrived in Chengdu in the morning. The temperature in December was quite low. A brief drizzle had just passed, and pedestrians were bundled up in their coats, walking at a leisurely pace to eat breakfast or head to work. There was an air of relaxed comfort about the place.
Although the sky was a gloomy gray, the air was damp, and a fresh breeze brushed against her face. Having just arrived from a high-altitude region, Yan Xi found it quite comfortable. She took a taxi and checked into her hotel.
Winter in Boston was bone-chillingly cold. The dormitory heating had long since been turned on, and Anzhi sat at her desk wrapped in a blanket, reviewing her coursework.
For her five-year PhD program at Harvard University, tuition and health insurance were fully covered by the department and her advisor. She also received a stipend. It was slightly lower in her first year—$30,000 after taxes—but even after deducting rent, it was quite ample. Once the spring semester started, she would become a Teaching Assistant, and things would only get better.
Anzhi was full of confidence, looking forward to the future more and more, which meant her grades had to be excellent and she had to earn enough credits.
Anzhi rubbed her hands together and continued reading.
The end of the term was approaching fast, and following that would be the Christmas holiday.
Should she return to Beicheng or not?
She rested her chin on her hand, lost in thought.
It seemed like Yan Xi was traveling recently, and she had gone to Tibet.
Anzhi unlocked her phone and opened WeChat Moments.
Suddenly, her eyes lit up. Yan Xi had gone to the Panda Base in Chengdu.
She had taken many videos of the pandas. They weren’t afraid of the cold at all, shifting their paws with chubby, clumsy movements as they climbed trees, chewed on bamboo, and nudged each other around.
There were also photos. One was lying on a tree branch, seemingly stuck and unable to get down, so it had simply fallen asleep right there.
Another was gnawing on bamboo, keeping its back turned the entire time, leaving only a chubby, aloof silhouette.
There was another photo taken indoors—a group of black-and-white panda cubs sleeping, sprawled haphazardly like a mat of delicious black-and-white glutinous rice balls.
There were many comments underneath:
Yan Yinan: “There’s no justice in this world! We work overtime every day, and you run off to see pandas. I’m seething with envy.”
Liu Yiyi: “Aww! There is no animal cuter than a panda in this whole world…”
Anzhi’s heart suddenly skipped a beat. She saw Yan Xi’s reply to Liu Yiyi: “Not necessarily. There’s something cuter than a panda.”
Anzhi inexplicably held her breath, her pulse quickening.
In an instant, she thought of many things, but she didn’t dare dwell on them. She steadied herself and liked the post.
She set her phone aside and forced herself to study.
She went to Chengdu…
They seemed to have had plans to go to Chengdu before, but they had never followed through with them. It was a bit of a pity.
Anzhi tilted her head, staring blankly at the night sky outside her window. She took a sip of hot milk. She had added a little sugar, and the sweetness spread from the tip of her tongue.
A 12-hour time difference.
How had she been recently? Was she doing well? With the end of the year approaching, wasn’t this her busiest time? Why was she out traveling?
Why wasn’t there a single selfie…?
Was she traveling alone or with someone else…?
But since she was traveling, her mood should be pretty good, right?
As long as she was doing well, that was enough.
Without realizing it, Anzhi picked up her phone again.
Suddenly, there was another post on Yan Xi’s Moments, seemingly just posted.
“Rabbits are cuter.”
Anzhi’s mind went completely blank, and she nearly dropped her phone. She scrambled to catch it, then carefully read the post word by word.
She hadn’t misread it.
Anzhi covered her mouth.
Yan Xi quite liked the pace of Chengdu. After staying in the hotel for a few days, she moved into a quieter homestay.
It had a small courtyard filled with flowers and plants, and wasn’t far from Kuanzhai Alley. The owners were a married couple. The first person Yan Xi met was the female owner—a very mature and gentle woman. When she smiled, deep wrinkles appeared around her eyes, but she was still beautiful. It was the female owner who checked her in, but the person who led her to her room was a quiet man. He was very tall with plain features, but he was very young. Yan Xi had initially thought they were siblings, never expecting them to be husband and wife.
Everyone had their own destined marriages. Yan Xi didn’t reveal any curiosity and settled into her stay.
After getting settled, she went to stroll around Kuanzhai Alley for a while. Winter in Chengdu had its own unique flavor. Although it was extremely overcast and cold, unlike the fast-paced life of Beicheng, Chengdu was leisurely and calm.
Yan Xi wore a long black cashmere coat over a matching turtleneck, with a water-gray fringed shawl draped over her shoulders. Paired with tall boots, the outfit made her neck look even more slender and accentuated her thin waist.
She picked out a few interesting spots to take photos along the way, deliberately waiting past the typical meal times before going to eat hotpot.
She ordered a clear oil broth2. Compared to the lively neighboring tables filled with groups of friends, she appeared somewhat lonely sitting by herself.
She swished slices of beef in the broth herself. The first piece melted in her mouth, fresh and tender. She felt it could have been even spicier.
She blanked out for a moment, recalling the look on Anzhi’s face the first time she had eaten spicy food.
The hotpot was still bubbling, but Yan Xi was lost in thought.
She probably couldn’t eat hotpot abroad, right? Even if she could, it was unlikely to be this flavor.
She took out her phone to look at it.
That morning, she had been checking her Moments and had just received a few likes. Anzhi never commented on her posts; she only left behind little hearts.
So cautious and tentative.
Just as she herself was.
She must have seen all the panda photos and videos she posted. Even if it was the pandas she had always wanted to see, would she still not comment? Yan Xi waited for a long time, but there was nothing.
Were they really unable to talk to each other anymore?
Was she still blaming her?
Was she still… heartbroken?
Yan Xi’s heart plummeted to rock bottom, and in that instant, everything became dull and tasteless. She stared at that name for a long time, then moved her fingers, putting Anzhi into a custom privacy group all by herself.
Taking a deep breath, she let her heart guide her and drafted a post: “Rabbits are cuter.” Setting it to be visible to that specific group, she directly tapped publish.
And still, there were no comments.
She waited for several days, but there was nothing.
Yan Xi hesitated over whether to post a picture of the hotpot to WeChat Moments. She wasn’t the type of person who loved posting frequently anyway. If Anzhi wasn’t going to comment, what would be the point?
Yan Xi’s chest felt unbearably tight. She felt melancholy and disappointed—emotions that were all entirely unfamiliar to her.
And then, in the very next second, she saw a brand-new photo.
It was a very old toy—a plastic rabbit holding a small drum, its teeth bared, with two small dimples on its face.
Yan Xi’s memories gradually became crystal clear. The melancholy and disappointment vanished in an instant, and her entire body came back to life.
An indescribable tenderness suddenly flooded her heart.
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