Villainous Fake Eunuch (14)
Song Xuyi had only just fallen back asleep when dawn was breaking.
However, as the convoy was on the move, Song Xuyi had not slept for long before being awakened by a maid. Groggily, she finished her washing and had some breakfast. Just as she was about to catch up on sleep in the carriage, she saw someone kneeling at the door of Gu Ruyu’s room upon stepping outside.
The person kneeling saw Song Xuyi and his eyes twitched, his head instantly lowered even further.
Song Xuyi did not notice this action. She recognized this person as the subordinate who had sneakily entered Gu Ruyu’s room with a stack of books yesterday. She had no idea what he had done to be punished by Gu Ruyu to kneel outside so early in the morning…
However, since this subordinate did not come to plead in front of her, it indicated that his mistake might not be that serious. After learning about Gu Ruyu’s background, Song Xuyi did not want to interfere too much with how Gu Ruyu managed her subordinates. She paused for a moment, then continued towards the carriage.
Not long after, the convoy set off.
Song Xuyi lifted the carriage curtain and took a glance outside. Sure enough, the person who had been kneeling was now standing up again and had ridden to the front of the convoy.
It seemed that his mistake was indeed not serious…
Song Xuyi didn’t pay much attention to it. Having not slept the whole night, she felt waves of drowsiness upon sitting in the carriage. Even though she felt like something was missing, Song Xuyi was too tired and soon fell into a deep sleep in the carriage…
When Song Xuyi woke up again, it was already noon.
The servant had already gone to the nearby town to buy some local specialty food for Song Xuyi.
This time, Song Xuyi had a good sleep and felt very refreshed. Bored, she once again picked up the books she had bought the day before.
Unlike the hurried glance from the previous night, this day Song Xuyi learned more: The former crown prince Liu Qian was actually an excellent person, considerate of the people, and brave in battle. Unfortunately, he was born at the wrong time and encountered the ambitious Zheng Ye. If Liu Qian had been given more time and had ascended the throne, the current state of He Kingdom try would surely be different.
In the process of researching, Song Xuyi was surprised to discover that the father of this body had a very good relationship with Liu Qian. According to unofficial history, Father Song and Liu Qian grew up together, being closer than brothers. To prove their close relationship, the book straightforwardly wrote: “To strengthen familial ties, the two families had already arranged a marriage; the youngest daughter of the Liu family, Liu Ruyu, was betrothed to the second son of the Song family while still in her swaddling clothes”…
Unfortunately, in the end, these two families, who had the people’s best interests at heart, did not meet a good end and both died at the hands of foreign invaders.
After finishing the book, Song Xuyi resolved a confusion but added a few more doubts in her heart: Even though the downfall of the Liu family was likely related to Zheng Ye, it was still the foreign invaders who directly massacred the entire Liu family. If Gu Ruyu were truly Liu Ruyu, she would surely hate the foreign invaders to the core. Why then, in the plot summary, would Liu Ruyu collude with the foreign invaders and open the kingdom’s gates to let them in?
Song Xuyi intuitively felt that there was some hidden truth behind this, but currently, she was of low status and far from the center of power, so she had no way of knowing…
They were now approaching Jiangnan, and the nights were starting to get warmer. The convoy had reached a place with no villages or inns nearby, so they camped in the mountains and forests that night.
Gu Ruyu was strict with her subordinates, and the convoy was always quiet. However, this day, the camping convoy was unexpectedly noisy.
It was only after a maid’s reminder that Song Xuyi realized that today was the Festival of Chasing the Moon.
The Festival of Chasing the Moon is an ancient festival celebrating reunions.1
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Even though Song Xuyi didn’t feel hungry, as the nominally highest-ranking person in the convoy, it was naturally inappropriate for her to be absent from such an occasion, so she followed the maid out of the carriage.
At this moment, the atmosphere at the site was in full swing: The guards had gone into the mountains and forests to hunt game, set up bonfires, and began grilling the food. The cook’s skills were excellent, and the forest was filled with the enticing aroma of food. Everyone was feasting heartily, with rare happy smiles on their faces—
Infected by this atmosphere, Song Xuyi couldn’t help but show a smile on her cheeks as well. She took a few steps forward, picked up a chicken leg, and took a couple of bites. In a daze, she noticed that someone seemed to be watching her. Instinctively, she followed the gaze and saw Gu Ruyu sitting by the bonfire, head lowered, seemingly lost in thought—
There were too many people around, and for a moment, Song Xuyi couldn’t tell who had been watching her earlier. Her gaze fell back on Gu Ruyu.
Gu Ruyu’s appearance was truly outstanding, undoubtedly the most eye-catching presence in the crowd. Even though she was in a bustling environment, Gu Ruyu still maintained a cold and lonely demeanor. She seemed to be among the crowd, yet detached from it. Song Xuyi even had the feeling that nothing in this world could move her—
Gu Ruyu was also eating. Gu Ruyu often maintained a special elegance while dining, slow and unhurried, always at ease. Previously, Song Xuyi didn’t understand this, but now she realized it might be the ingrained etiquette of the former royal family… However, perhaps because of a shoulder injury, Gu Ruyu seemed a bit distracted at the moment, and the small knife in her hand hadn’t managed to cut the roasted meat for a long time.
Looking at Gu Ruyu’s appearance, Song Xuyi belatedly remembered her promise to take care of Gu Ruyu made the day before, noticing something odd—
Gu Ruyu had been clinging to her recently, but today, for some unknown reason, Gu Ruyu hadn’t called for her all day.
However, seeing Gu Ruyu having difficulty eating, and since Gu Ruyu’s injury was because of her, Song Xuyi naturally couldn’t ignore it any longer.
Thinking of this, Song Xuyi went back to get a piece of the best meat, cut it into convenient bite-sized pieces with a small knife, and, worried that Gu Ruyu might find it too greasy, cut two sweet and sour wild fruits to place on the side. She carved a fork-like shape out of a tree branch, and then carried the plate to Gu Ruyu’s side.
Gu Ruyu still had that absent-minded look. She was highly respected, and her subordinates didn’t dare to urge her to eat more, only looking at her with hesitation. When they saw Song Xuyi approaching, the subordinates seemed to find a savior and immediately dispersed from Gu Ruyu’s side—
Gu Ruyu’s body stiffened.
“Ruyu,” Song Xuyi didn’t notice Gu Ruyu’s unusually silent demeanor. Facing the subordinates’ gazes, Song Xuyi inexplicably felt pressure and unconsciously softened her voice, “I cut some roasted meat and fruits. Would you like some?”
Gu Ruyu still kept her head down. She responded with a soft ‘hmm,’ acknowledging Song Xuyi’s words, but neither looked up at Song Xuyi nor took the porcelain plate Song Xuyi handed over.
It was only then that Song Xuyi noticed Gu Ruyu’s odd behavior.
What was wrong with her?
From Song Xuyi’s angle, she could only see Gu Ruyu’s beautifully contoured side face. Gu Ruyu’s lips were tightly pressed, her face pale, and her brows slightly furrowed. Behind her was a blazing bonfire, and an old man who had suddenly started crying after drinking was singing an ancient song. The song was desolate and sorrowful, making people feel sad. The old man, holding wine to his chest, poured it on the ground towards the northwest border, crying out in grief—2
It wasn’t until the old man finished pouring the wine that others beside him pulled him away and explained to the uninformed, “He’s drunk, don’t mind him…”
Song Xuyi looked at the old man whose eyes were filled with tears and whose gaze seemed extremely clear, and then at the pale-faced, unusually silent Gu Ruyu beside him, and sighed softly.
Song Xuyi felt that she had guessed the reason for Gu Ruyu’s unhappiness—in such a festival celebrating reunion, Gu Ruyu must be homesick.
Even though she knew that Gu Ruyu had a bad temperament and would even become a villain wreaking havoc in the future, seeing Gu Ruyu’s current awkward and lonely appearance and thinking of her background, Song Xuyi couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity.
Come to think of it, Gu Ruyu was the true princess.
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If none of these changes had happened, she would have grown up pampered and treasured, and it was very likely that she would have married the second son of the Song family who died in battle, becoming the sister-in-law of this body…
The Song and Liu families were once so close, and as the only two girls left from both families, she and Gu Ruyu were supposed to watch out for each other.
Considering the connections of their elders, this body could actually barely be considered half a relative to Gu Ruyu.
……
“Ruyu,” thinking this, Song Xuyi organized her words, her face blooming into a bright smile. She picked up a cup of water from beside her and handed it to Gu Ruyu, “I never formally thanked you after you saved me last time. Today, let me thank you with tea instead of wine for saving my life.”
“The stars tonight are so beautiful! My nanny once told me that when people die, they become stars in the sky, watching over their loved ones. Look, those twinkling stars are our deceased relatives greeting us—”
Song Xuyi didn’t know if it was her imagination, but Gu Ruyu’s face seemed to turn even paler.
Gu Ruyu finally lifted her head. Her obscure gaze moved over the smile on Song Xuyi’s face, then, as if stung by something, quickly looked away.
In the end, Gu Ruyu slowly reached out and took the cup from Song Xuyi’s hand. She lowered her head and took a sip of the tea that Song Xuyi handed over. As soon as she put the cup down, she saw the porcelain plate that Song Xuyi handed to her—
The porcelain plate contained a neatly cut pile of roasted meat, with two cut wild fruits beside it, and a strangely shaped fork.
“Try it, it won’t taste good if it gets cold!” Seeing the anticipation in Song Xuyi’s eyes, Gu Ruyu’s eyes darkened. As if driven by some unseen force, she opened her mouth—
Her heart filled with bitterness, Gu Ruyu couldn’t taste the roasted meat at all. It was like chewing wax as she swallowed it. Seeing that Song Xuyi seemed about to fork up another piece, Gu Ruyu almost instinctively pressed down on Song Xuyi’s hand, “I’ll do it myself—”
Gu Ruyu tried to appear calm as she released her hand from Song Xuyi’s skin. Meeting Song Xuyi’s gaze, she picked up the fork and took bite after bite of the tasteless roasted meat—
“How could they bless me?”
Gu Ruyu’s gaze swept over the twinkling stars in the sky as she silently spoke in her heart, “They will never forgive me—”
So many people in the Liu family were killed because of her.
The poor commoner she took in from the streets poisoned the water well of the Liu household. Except for herself, who was sick that day and hadn’t eaten a grain of rice, everyone else was poisoned and had already died long before the foreign invaders broke in…
Gu Ruyu had always known she was a madwoman, willing to pay any price for revenge.
These years, she endured great hardships, exposing herself to the filthiest and most corrupt truths in the court, watching the invaders continue to run rampant, witnessing the ignorant commoners enact scenes of absurdity… Brewing within her was an incredibly insane and daring plan, intending to drag this filthy and corrupt world with her into the abyss.
Gu Ruyu never expected to encounter the variable that was Song Xuyi.
Gu Ruyu didn’t sleep at all last night. She actually understood the things in the book sent by her subordinate and completely sorted out her feelings—
Isn’t it what the book calls ‘admiration’?
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Because of admiration, she couldn’t help but constantly watch her, wanting her gaze to focus solely on herself, even risking her life to save her, even dreaming of her as the protagonist in such dreams…
But… am I worthy of admiring someone?
Bearing the lives of so many people from the Liu household on my shoulders, filthy and bloodstained, hideous and repulsive, intending to overthrow this dirty land and avenge myself…
Gu Ruyu touched her chest. The deep-seated, boiling hatred that used to burn within her now felt like the ashes after a fire, leaving only a hollow desolation. Gu Ruyu slowly pursed her lips, experiencing this entirely unfamiliar, heart-wrenching emotion, and bitterly curled her lips—
“I am not worthy!”
The author has something to say:
Today’s Xiaogu: I am not worthy.
Tomorrow’s Xiaogu (coldly laughs and draws a sword): Stay away from Xuyi!
LP: Re-translated on August 23, 2024
Footnotes
- Festival of Chasing the Moon: Similar in spirit to the Mid-Autumn Festival.
- Pouring wine on the ground: A traditional gesture signifying respect or offering to those who have passed, often performed during rituals or moments of remembrance.