Top-Tier Omega: Chasing Alpha to the Crematorium – Chapter 75
by Little PandaI Wonβt Keep This Child
When Song Qingpei went downstairs, Song Song was holding up a completed toy castle model, her little face flushed with excitement. βMama, look! My castle!β She looked around. βWhereβs Mommy? I want to show Mommy!β
βMommy isnβt feeling well and is resting.β Song Qingpei crouched down to soothe her. βHow about we show Mommy tomorrow, okay?β
Song Songβs little face fell instantly. βIs Mommy sick?β she asked worriedly.
βMommy is just a little tired.β Song Qingpei gently stroked her daughterβs soft hair. βCome on, how about Mama plays with you?β
βOkay.β
Although Song Song was a bit reluctant, she quickly became engrossed.
βMama, help me quickly! I want to build an even bigger castle for Mommy to see!β
Song Qingpei murmured her agreement as she mechanically helped Song Song continue building the castle. Her fingers held the blocks, but her mind was clearly elsewhere, her thoughts having drifted far away.
Ming Yuβs pale face, her frequent retching and nausea, her instinctive reaction to shield her abdomenβ¦ These details kept flashing back in her mind like a silent movie on a loop.
It was simply too similarβ¦
Was she overthinking things?
βMama! Mama~ Youβre not paying attention!β
It wasnβt until Song Song called her in dissatisfaction that Song Qingpei snapped out of her daze.
She could only temporarily pull back her mind, coaxing Song Song while focusing on stacking the blocks with her.
Even by dinner, Ming Yu still had not made an appearance.
Butler Su prepared a sumptuous dinner for the two of them. She then carried a meticulously arranged tray upstairs, only to bring it back down untouched less than ten minutes later.
Song Qingpei frowned. βButler Su, whatβs wrong?β
βThe Admiral said she has no appetite,β Butler Su said, deeply worried. βShe didnβt eat this morning, and now she wonβt eat tonight. How can her stomach not run into trouble?β
Song Qingpei stared at the untouched food on the tray. Suddenly recalling how Ming Yu had gagged at the smell of the seafood congee that morning, a profound suspicion surged within her once more.
βIβll swap it for something else and try to persuade her again.β Butler Su sighed, turning to head back toward the stairs.
βWait,β Song Qingpei stopped her. βIβll go.β
Butler Su opened her mouth as if to say something, but ultimately just nodded. βThe kitchen is still keeping some congee warm. Try to get her to have some.β
Song Qingpei nodded and added, βAnd make some liangban huanggua1. Make it extra sour.β
βYes, Iβll have someone prepare it right away.β
Butler Su immediately instructed the maid to prepare the food according to Song Qingpeiβs request and handed it over to her.
Standing outside Ming Yuβs bedroom, Song Qingpei held a tray with a bowl of freshly simmered plain congee topped with a light sprinkle of chopped scallions, alongside a small dish of light, crisp cold tossed cucumber. In her memories, this was one of the very few things Ming Yu could keep down when she suffered from yuntu2.
She tapped gently on the door and said in a low voice, βMing Yu, eat something.β
A long silence stretched inside the room before Ming Yuβs hoarse voice finally filtered through. ββ¦No need. Iβm not hungry.β
Song Qingpei frowned. Pressing her knuckles against the wooden door, she knocked twice more, with firmer raps. βYou havenβt eaten a single thing all day.β
βI donβt have an appetite.β Ming Yuβs voice carried a hint of suppressed irritation.
Song Qingpei froze, remaining silent for a long time.
This reaction of Ming Yuβs was clearly off. She had been so carefully trying to please her just yesterday; there was no way she would suddenly act so petulant and give her the cold shoulder unless she couldnβt control herselfβ¦
And why couldnβt she control herself? The answer was practically staring her in the face.
Sure enough, a moment later, Ming Yuβs muffled voice sounded again, carrying a clear, yielding note of weakness. βQingpei, Iβm really not hungry. Go eat with Song Song. Iβll be fine after a short nap.β
Song Qingpei did not say anything more. In the end, she simply placed the tray gently on the low cabinet outside the door.
βThe congee is outside. Take it yourself when you want to eat.β
βMm.β
Song Qingpei stood at the door for a while before finally turning to leave, the doubt in her heart growing heavier and heavier.
Inside the room.
Ming Yu lay curled on the bed, her fingers tightly clutching the bedsheets. Her stomach was churning so violently that she didnβt even have the strength to sit up.
She knew her current state was terrible.
Her pregnancy symptoms this time were even more severe than when she had carried Song Song, to the point where she doubted she could survive the week. Yet, far worse than the physical discomfort was the torment of her internal struggleβ
Should she tell Song Qingpei the truth?
Zhan Li had already begun to suspect Wu Lan and might have even zeroed in on Song Qingpeiβs identity. If she told Song Qingpei about the pregnancy, how would she choose? To stay? Orβ¦ would she still choose to leave?
Ming Yu bit her lower lip, her throat tightening.
She feared Song Qingpei would stay solely out of duty, and feared even more that she would grow to hate her because of this childβhating her for shackling her yet again.
But how long could she hide it?
The vomiting was getting worse. Song Qingpei was no fool, and she had clearly begun to suspect.
Ming Yu closed her eyes, her breath trembling slightly.
What on earth was she supposed to do?
Song Qingpei went downstairs with an equally heavy heart. Suppressing the doubts in her mind, she ate dinner with Song Song, played with her for a bit, and then took her to take a bath.
As she bathed Song Song, the warm steam in the bathroom condensed into a thick white mist.
Song Song played with the bubbles before suddenly tilting her damp little face upward. βMama, Mommy is sick. Can you please stop being mad at her?β
Song Qingpei paused mid-motion as she squeezed body wash into her palm, the strawberry-scented foam oozing through the gaps of her fingers.
βMommy looks so pitiful,β Song Song chattered on, her small hands splashing the water. βMommyβs hands are so cold, and her face is so white. Sheβs sick and wonβt eat, and maybe sheβs even hiding in her room crying in secretβ¦ Canβt you go comfort her?β
Warm water droplets dripped from the tips of Song Songβs hair. Song Qingpei felt a tremor in her heart.
βAlright, Iβll go check on your Mommy in a little bit,β she promised softly, her fingers gently smoothing out Song Songβs hair, unsure if she was comforting her daughter or convincing herself.
After coaxing Song Song to sleep, Song Qingpei did not go to Ming Yu immediately.
She returned to her own room and sat on the edge of the bed in deep thought, her conviction growing stronger by the second.
βIt really was too similar.
Memories came rushing back like a tide.
When Ming Yu had been pregnant with Song Song, she had thrown up just like this, so violently it turned her world upside down. And her reaction tonight, that instinctive gesture of shielding her belly, the guilt she couldnβt hide when their eyes metβ¦
Song Qingpei stood up abruptly and turned to walk out.
She had to confirm this.
The thick carpet of the corridor absorbed her footsteps. Standing in front of Ming Yuβs bedroom door, Song Qingpei raised her hand but hesitated. If her suspicion was correctβ¦ if Ming Yu really was pregnantβ¦ how was she supposed to face it?
Her knuckles hovered above the door, trembling slightly.
A long moment passed. A myriad of conflicting thoughts swirled in her mind; she felt as though she had thought of everything, yet understood nothing at all.
But she knew that, ultimately, this was something she could not run from.
In the end, she rapped softly on the door.
There was no response.
She knocked again, putting more weight into it this time.
Rustling sounds came from inside, followed by Ming Yuβs hoarse voice. ββ¦Who is it?β
βItβs me.β
After a protracted silence, there was a soft click as the door unlocked.
Ming Yu opened the door. She was wearing a silk robe, its collar slightly parted to reveal the elegant lines of her collarbones. Her face bore a heavy, lingering fatigue, and faint dark circles shadowed the skin beneath her eyesβyet her gaze was startlingly bright.
βIs something the matter?β Ming Yu asked quietly.
Her fingers were unconsciously twisting the belt of her robe, her anxiety palpable.
Song Qingpei observed her subtle movements before slowly letting her gaze drop to Ming Yuβs abdomen. βMing Yu, is there nothing you want to tell me?β
Meeting that searching gaze, Ming Yu took a step back in guilt. βW-what?β
βDonβt play dumb!β
Song Qingpei took a step forward, her eyes locked onto the other woman as she sharpened her tone. βIs this what you meant when you said you wouldnβt lie to me again?β
Hearing this, Ming Yuβs pupils contracted sharply, and the color rapidly drained from her face.
This reaction all but confirmed Song Qingpeiβs suspicions.
βIβ¦β Ming Yuβs lips trembled. Her eyes flickered with struggle and fear, which eventually hardened into a resigned, grim resolve. ββ¦You guessed it.β
She looked up, a bleak smile tugging at the corner of her lips. βYes. Iβm pregnant.β
Despite having anticipated it, hearing it spoken aloud still caught the breath in Song Qingpeiβs throat.
Her gaze instinctively drifted to Ming Yuβs abdomen. Beneath the silk robe, it was still flat, yet it was nurturing a brand-new life.
Their child.
The realization made Song Qingpeiβs heart hammer against her ribs, a torrent of complex emotions flooding her chest.
She wanted to say something, opening her mouth several times, only to find her throat too dry to make a sound.
Seeing her shifting, unreadable expression, a wave of despair washed over Ming Yu.
She didnβt dare entertain the hope that Qingpei would welcome this child; it would be a blessing enough if Qingpei didnβt resent her for it.
As if terrified that Song Qingpei might voice some cold, merciless rejection, Ming Yu cast her eyes down. Unable to bear looking at the other womanβs face, she spoke in trepidation: βYou donβt have to worry, I wonβt use this child to tie you down. Our agreement still stands. I will arrange for your departure in one week.β
She paused, her hand quietly resting over her lower abdomen. βThis childβ¦ I wonβt keep it.β
βWhat did you say?β Song Qingpei snapped her head up, her voice sharper than she realized.
Ming Yuβs body stiffened, but she still didnβt look up.
βQingpei, I understand your choice.β Ming Yu forced her voice to remain steady, though the end of her sentence trembled uncontrollably. βThis childβ¦ arrived at the wrong time. I wonβt let it become a shackle that binds you.β
Song Qingpeiβs chest heaved as countless words rushed to the tip of her tongue.
She wanted to tell Ming Yu that she had misunderstood, that she wasnβt rejecting the child. Yet Ming Yuβs cold, calm words choked everything back down into her throat.
She had considered everything on her behalfβeven to the point of deciding the fate of the child as its motherβcompletely devoid of her previous desperate possessiveness. In this moment, Song Qingpei had no choice but to believe that Ming Yu was genuinely looking out for her, trying her hardest to make amends.
After a long silence, Song Qingpei rasped, βMing Yu, this childβ¦β
βI donβt want it,β Ming Yu interrupted, her voice cracking slightly. βQingpei, itβs not just because of you, but because of me too. I am currently at a critical juncture for my promotion to Marshal; I cannot afford any distractions. This is for the best for both of us. Isnβt it?β
Was it? Song Qingpei could not answer her question.
No matter what, with this decision, the physical and emotional toll on Ming Yu would be far heavier than on her.
After a long while, Ming Yu finally raised her eyes to look at Song Qingpei, forcing a weak smile. βItβs very late. Go back and get some rest.β
Song Qingpei remained standing where she was. The moonlight filtering through the curtains stretched their shadows, causing them to overlap on the floor.
In the end, she turned and left in silence. The sound of the door closing shut was exceptionally piercing in the quiet of the night.
The darkness of the corridor gradually swallowed her figure.
Ming Yu clutched her chest as she watched Song Qingpei fade from her sight, her heart sinking into absolute despair.
Did she really make no attempt to hold her back, detesting her that much? Even if it was just a single sentenceβ¦
Ming Yu collapsed against the side of the bed, her fingers desperately clutching the fabric over her abdomen where a life that was not anticipated was currently growing. The more she thought, the more distressed she felt. Her shoulders began to shake, the trembling growing wider and wider, interspersed with broken, muffled sobs.
βIβm sorryβ¦β
She murmured to the empty room, unsure of whom she was apologizing to.
Footnotes
- LiΓ‘ngbΓ n huΓ‘ngguΔ (εζι»η) is a classic Chinese cold dish made of smashed or sliced cucumbers tossed with vinegar, garlic, sesame oil, and soy sauce, often eaten to stimulate the appetite.
- YΓΉntΓΉ (εε) is a Chinese term for pregnancy-related vomiting or morning sickness, commonly used in both colloquial and traditional medical contexts to describe gestational nausea.
0 Comments