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    Chapter Index

    I’m Not Worthy!

    The next day.

    Song Song sat up in bed, her eyes still heavy with sleep. She raised a hand and casually wiped away the drool that had escaped in her dreams.

    Song Qingpei opened her eyes to this exact scene, and her heart felt like it was melting.

    She reached out, pulled Song Song into a tight hug, and kissed her smooth little cheek. All the unhappiness from the night before instantly vanished.

    โ€œMama~โ€

    Song Song wrapped her arms around Song Qingpeiโ€™s neck and snuggled her small face against her.

    Holding her daughter, Song Qingpei recalled the sight of her wiping away drool and smiled. โ€œWhat did Songsong dream about last night? It must have been delicious to make you drool like that.โ€

    At the mention of her dream, Song Songโ€™s eyes lit up.

    โ€œMama, can we have your fishy noodles today? Songsong really wants to eat them~โ€

    She even licked her lips as she spoke.

    โ€œYou, you little glutton.โ€1

    Song Qingpei tweaked Song Songโ€™s nose, her expression full of doting affection, then helped her get out of bed to wash up.

    After they were ready, Song Qingpei carried Song Song downstairs. They had woken up very early, and the maids were still busy with their own tasks. When they saw the two of them, they all wore looks of deep respect.

    Song Qingpei was still not used to being the center of such attention. Steeling herself, she found the Head Cook and asked if they had any Black Tiger Fish, explaining that she wanted to borrow the kitchen to make some noodles.

    The Head Cook looked troubled. โ€œWellโ€ฆ Miss Song, you should probably ask Butler Su about that.โ€

    Song Qingpei sighed in frustration. She didnโ€™t even have the freedom to cook a meal.

    She had no choice but to find Butler Su. Fortunately, when he learned that it was Song Song who wanted to eat, he immediately had someone arrange for the ingredients. After a great deal of effort, they finally found the Black Tiger Fish she needed.

    Song Qingpei thanked him, set Song Song down in the Living Room, and headed straight for the kitchen.

    โ€œMiss Song, let me handle that for you. The scales of a Black Tiger Fish are hard and sharp; itโ€™s easy to cut your fingers,โ€ the Head Cook said quickly, seeing Song Qingpei preparing to process the fish herself.

    โ€œItโ€™s fine. Iโ€™ve done this often. I have experience.โ€

    Song Qingpei expertly grabbed the flopping Black Tiger Fish. In a few deft movements, she had gutted the fish, removed the bones, and begun slicing the fillets, stunning the cook who stood beside her.

    โ€œMiss Song, your movements are so swift.โ€

    No one knew that back when she was a wanderer, she would often risk catching Black Tiger Fish herself. She had been injured several times doing it, her hands left bloody and pierced, all to develop such efficient skill.

    Song Qingpei didnโ€™t elaborate on her past hardships. She just gave a faint smile and started boiling the noodles.

    She had made this dish countless times. Soon, the fragrant Black Tiger Fish Topped Noodles were ready.

    But out of habit, she had still prepared three portions.

    Song Qingpei looked at the three bowls of noodles arranged before her and couldnโ€™t help but smile bitterly. She really had to break this bad habit.

    Just then, Song Song came running over, drawn by the aroma. โ€œMama, is it not ready yet? Songsongโ€™s tummy is hungry.โ€

    Song Song entered the kitchen and saw her mother staring blankly at the fragrant noodles. She reached out and shook Song Qingpeiโ€™s arm.

    Snapping back to reality, Song Qingpei told Song Song to go wait in the Dining Room.

    She quickly brought the noodles to the table. So what if there was an extra portion? At worst, she would just eat it all herself and be a little stuffed.

    Faced with the beautiful and aromatic noodles, Song Song couldnโ€™t wait to dig in.

    As the two were happily eating, the sound of someone coming downstairs drew their attention.

    Ming Yu was dressed today in a white Admiralโ€™s uniform. A black insignia, the mark of her rank, was pinned to her collar. A black belt cinched her slender waist, and she wore military boots. In her hand, she held a pair of white gloves she hadnโ€™t yet put on.

    Song Qingpei froze for a second, then quickly looked away and went back to eating.

    Song Song turned to see Ming Yu, her face breaking into a wide smile. โ€œMommy, Mama made fishy noodles today, and theyโ€™re super yummy! Come and try some!โ€

    Hearing Song Songโ€™s words, Ming Yu paused and turned her gaze to Song Qingpei.

    But the person across from her didnโ€™t even lift her eyes, let alone speak to her.

    Ming Yu suppressed her anger and sat down at the table. She looked at the bowl of noodles before her, piled high with perfectly deboned fish fillets, just like Song Songโ€™s.

    Then she turned to look at Song Qingpeiโ€™s bowl, and she froze completely.

    Song Qingpeiโ€™s bowl contained only a fish head and the scattered bits of meat clinging to the fish bones. The noodles seemed to have been drizzled with some fish broth. It was just like back when she hadnโ€™t recovered her memory, when Song Qingpei would always save the meat from the belly of the Black Tiger Fish for her and Song Song.

    The scene felt as if it were from another lifetime.2 The memories she had forcibly forgotten seemed to be slowly resurfacing.

    The feeling left her a little panicked.

    All along, in her world, anyone who approached her had the same ulterior motivesโ€”whether for money or power, they always wanted something.

    Thinking of what Song Qingpei had said last night, her thoughts grew even more chaotic.

    Ming Yu opened her mouth, trying to take the initiative to say something to Song Qingpei, but Song Qingpei was completely absorbed in her food. It was hard to tell if she hadn’t noticed Ming Yu’s gaze or was just pretending not to.

    Feeling ignored, Ming Yu grew displeased. She spoke, her tone a little stiff. โ€œWhy the sudden urge to make Black Tiger Fish?โ€

    โ€œSong Song wanted to eat it, so I made it.โ€

    Song Qingpei didnโ€™t even look up. She hadnโ€™t wanted to answer, but she feared Ming Yu would use it as an excuse to pick a fight,3 so she gave a perfunctory reply.

    Ming Yu was taken aback by her cold, dismissive attitude.

    And while she was stunned, Song Qingpei had already finished her bowl of noodles. She looked up and saw Ming Yu staring at the other bowl, neither eating nor speaking, her expression difficult to read.

    A nameless fire4 ignited within her. This woman is probably cursing me out in her head right now. Something like, โ€˜a low-grade A like her isnโ€™t worthy of cooking for me!โ€™ Or maybe she thinks Iโ€™m playing the emotion card5 to make her soften up! Or that this is some kind of self-injury ploy6 to get her attention!

    Song Qingpei decided to just reach out and take the bowl in front of Ming Yu to eat it herself.

    Ming Yu, who had been lost in thought, snapped back to see Song Qingpei about to take her bowl. She instinctively reached out and slapped Song Qingpeiโ€™s hand away.

    SLAPโ€”

    With a sharp crack, Song Qingpei instantly pulled her hand back.

    A stinging pain flared across the back of her hand. She looked at Ming Yu, her eyes filled with fury. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

    Ming Yuโ€™s elegant brows furrowed. โ€œWho gave you permission to touch my food?โ€

    The question made Song Qingpei laugh with rage.

    โ€œI made these noodles. Why canโ€™t I touch them?โ€

    Ming Yuโ€™s eyes were fixed on Song Qingpei. She frowned. โ€œYou made an extra bowl. Wasnโ€™t it for me?โ€

    Song Qingpei cursed herself internally. From now on, I have to break this habit of making three of everything. Out loud, she said coldly, โ€œYouโ€™re thinking too much. I simply wanted a second bowl.โ€

    At those words, Ming Yuโ€™s face turned ashen. Was she saying that Ming Yu was being presumptuous?7

    โ€œSong Qingpei, donโ€™t go too far.โ€

    Song Qingpei couldnโ€™t be bothered with her. She reached for the noodles again. As if to deliberately defy her, Ming Yu sneered, pulled the bowl in front of herself, picked up her chopsticks, and stirred the noodles twice, looking as if she were about to eat.

    Song Qingpei was speechless.

    โ€œMama, Mommy, donโ€™t fight!โ€

    Song Song looked worried. It seemed like her mama and mommy didnโ€™t get along very well.

    โ€œSongsong, weโ€™re not fighting. Mama will feed you.โ€

    Song Qingpei ignored Ming Yu and went to Song Songโ€™s side, coaxing her to eat.

    Having been lost in thought so many times this morning, Ming Yu felt increasingly panicked. The memories she had deliberately forgotten were becoming clearer as they were made real before her eyes.

    And when she thought of Song Qingpei saying she loved her last night, her mind became even more of a mess.

    She unconsciously tightened her grip on her chopsticks. When the familiar taste of the noodles filled her mouth, an inexplicable flutter stirred in her heart, and she was struck by a sudden impulse.

    Perhaps she could give Song Qingpei a chance. A chance to get close to her.

    โ€œSong Qingpei, I think we should have a proper talk,โ€ Ming Yu said, taking the initiative.

    Song Qingpei looked up at her suspiciously but didnโ€™t reply, clearly waiting for her to continue.

    Ming Yu stroked her chin, feigning a casual air, and said in a tone dripping with charity, โ€œI canโ€ฆ try to believe what you said yesterday. Iโ€™ll give you a chance. As long as you pass my testโ€ฆโ€

    โ€œOh, thank you so much!โ€

    This time, Song Qingpei truly laughed from anger. She abruptly pushed her chair back. โ€œSongsong, are you finished eating?โ€

    Song Song patted her belly and nodded dazedly. โ€œHic! Songsong is full.โ€

    โ€œThen letโ€™s go.โ€

    Song Qingpei immediately took Song Songโ€™s hand to leave.

    Being completely ignored, Ming Yu finally lost her temper. She slammed her hand on the table. โ€œSong Qingpei, are you even listening to me?โ€

    Song Qingpeiโ€™s reaction to her fury was still faint. โ€œI heard you. Iโ€™m not worthy.โ€

    With that, she led Song Song straight upstairs.

    Watching Song Qingpeiโ€™s departing figure, Ming Yuโ€™s face turned livid with rage, her chest heaving violently. She took several deep breaths before she could force down the anger in her heart.

    Without eating another bite, she rose and left in a fury.



    Footnotes

    1. Original: xiวŽo chรกn mฤo, literally โ€˜little greedy cat,โ€™ an affectionate way to call a child a glutton.
    2. Original: huวŽngrรบgรฉshรฌ, an idiom describing the feeling that a past event is so distant it feels like it happened in another life.
    3. Original: zhวŽo chรก, literally โ€˜to find fault,โ€™ a common phrase for deliberately looking for trouble or provoking an argument.
    4. โ€˜Wรบmรญnghuว’โ€™ or โ€˜nameless fireโ€™ is a term for a sudden burst of anger that seems to come from nowhere.
    5. โ€˜Playing the emotion cardโ€™ (dวŽ gวŽnqรญng pรกi) is a phrase for manipulating a situation by appealing to someoneโ€™s feelings or past relationship.
    6. The โ€˜kว”rรฒu jรฌโ€™ or โ€˜self-injury ployโ€™ is one of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, a classic Chinese text on strategy. It involves harming oneself to deceive an opponent or win their sympathy.
    7. Original: zรฌzuรฒ duลqรญng, an idiom for mistakenly believing oneโ€™s feelings are reciprocated; to be full of oneself.

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