The Alley Was Always This Long – Chapter 90
by Little PandaSide Story + Easter Egg
“xxybzd.” (The End)
[Time stretches and pulls, teaching us to stumble forward, laughing as we embrace regret.
But those whose hearts are too stubborn will never learn to let go.]
Every hair on Cheng Xiang’s body stood on end. She instinctively jumped back a full step.
Yah, a monster!
How was it that after they’d broken up, Tao Tianran seemed to have gone off and cultivated1 these past few years? She used to pester Tao Tianran to speak Cantonese all the time, because kids who grew up in Beicheng’s hutong thought speaking Cantonese was cool. But Tao Tianran refused no matter what. The one exception was when she’d lean close to her ear and whisper: “Silly girl2.”
Now Cheng Xiang recoiled as if launched, raising a hand to rub her furiously itching ear. “What do you mean you have nowhere to go for New Year? Weren’t you always used to spending New Year alone?”
She remembered during college, Tao Tianran never went back to Gangdao for New Year either. Cheng Xiang had insisted she come to her family’s New Year, but she wouldn’t. After thinking it over, Cheng Xiang even ordered her a KFC Family Bucket. Later she still felt that wasn’t right, so she dragged Tao Tianran to her house.
Now, heh—what goes around comes around. How was Tao Tianran actually asking to go to her house for New Year?
Tao Tianran said softly, “I just don’t have anywhere.”
She’s flirting! Cheng Xiang glared at Tao Tianran. If she didn’t know Tao Tianran so well, she’d definitely think she was being coy talking like that!
“I wasn’t even planning to come back to Beicheng for New Year,” Cheng Xiang said. “Too much hassle.”
Tao Tianran paused, then said, “You should still go back.”
Cheng Xiang was actually pretty sensitive. “Why?”
Tao Tianran: “Your dad had surgery a while back.”
Cheng Xiang’s brain buzzed. No way! Why did nobody tell her about something this huge!
She immediately called Director Ma again. “Mom!”
She could picture Director Ma holding the phone three feet away from her ear. “Why are you yelling so loud?”
“What kind of surgery did Dad have?”
“Who told you?”
“Don’t worry about who told me. What kind of surgery?”
“Was it Qiaozi?”
“Never mind, I have my sources.”
“Oh, it’s nothing major. A while back your dad felt some numbness in his hand, so we took him to the hospital. They said it was a mild heart attack—did a small minimally invasive surgery to clear the blood vessels. And that was that, all fine now.”
“You call that nothing major?”
“Caught early, it’s nothing. He had the minimally invasive surgery and now he’s like anyone else.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’re so far away. Even if we told you, you couldn’t come back. You’d just worry for nothing.”
“I’m coming back the day after tomorrow.”
“Why would you come back? Stay there and teach your classes properly.”
“Spring Festival break starts the day after tomorrow—what classes am I teaching?” Cheng Xiang yelled, incensed.
“Oh my,” Director Ma said in surprise. “Someone’s grown a temper, hey.”
Cheng Xiang booked a flight back to Beicheng.
Tao Tianran was with her. As the plane was about to take off, Cheng Xiang turned into a quail about to be launched.
“Little Teacher Cheng.”
“What?” Cheng Xiang’s shoulders were rigid, eyes fixed ahead, as if she were the one flying the plane.
“Hahaha, you saying that line is already a cold joke in itself, okay?” Cheng Xiang was still nervous—her laugh looked like crying.
After landing, Cheng Xiang couldn’t snag an airport bus ticket and clutched her phone, futilely trying to call a cab.
“Futilely,” because tomorrow was Spring Festival—more passengers than cars. Good lord, she looked ahead and saw a massive, uncountable queue.
Tao Tianran tapped her shoulder from behind.
“What?”
“I’ll take you home.”
“You didn’t even drive. How are you taking me home?”
“I did. Over there.” Tao Tianran pointed.
Cheng Xiang blinked.
When she got into the passenger seat of Tao Tianran’s car, she was still chattering: “Tao Tianran, what is wrong with you? You came to find me, brought a whole suitcase, you knew you’d be staying for days, and you still drove to the airport and parked here. Do you have any idea how much the parking fee will be?”
Tao Tianran said nothing—didn’t talk back, didn’t argue.
Tch. Cheng Xiang turned to look out the window. Boring.
Once the car headed toward the city, Cheng Xiang turned back and sneaked a glance around the interior.
The Lucky Cat Keychain she’d once given Tao Tianran, utterly out of place in this luxury car, was still there.
Cheng Xiang pursed her lips, then released them with a pop. She noticed Tao Tianran watching her from the corner of her eye and cleared her throat. “Tao Tianran, your taste really isn’t great.”
Tao Tianran actually nodded. “It isn’t.”
Hey! Cheng Xiang shot her a small glare.
The streets blazed with lights, the raucous, festive atmosphere swallowing individuals whole. Tao Tianran drove Cheng Xiang all the way to the entrance of Hundred Flowers Alley. Cheng Xiang grabbed her luggage and hurried off—partly because she was genuinely worried about her dad, and partly because she didn’t know how to respond to Tao Tianran.
If it had been anyone else saying they had nowhere to go for New Year, she’d have warmly welcomed them home. But this was Tao Tianran.
Her mind was a mess as she walked through the alley and pushed open the door. “Mom!”
Director Ma’s voice rang out, mid-conversation with Deputy Director Cheng: “Listen to how loud your daughter is.”
Cheng Xiang’s mouth twisted first: That old lady had spent a lifetime doing ideological education work on people. Today she should get to experience being on the receiving end!
Deputy Director Cheng having surgery was such a big deal—how could they not tell her!
Fortunately, after seeing Deputy Director Cheng’s condition, Cheng Xiang was somewhat relieved.
Normally, the pre-New Year shopping trip with Director Ma was her favorite part. A Daoxiangcun4 pastry gift box was a must, right? Liubiju5‘s eight-treasure pickled vegetables6, whether anyone still ate them or not, had to be bought, right? Plus all kinds of sunflower seeds, peanuts, wandouhuang7, and so on.
Ironically, New Year’s Eve afternoon was the most boring time.
Although Cheng Xiang’s cooking was decent, with Director Ma and Deputy Director Cheng around, she had no room to show off.
She gnawed on an apple, sprawled crookedly on the sofa, and messaged Qin Ziqiao on WeChat: 【Are you at your mom’s? Can I come hang out for a bit?】
Qin Ziqiao’s mother’s place wasn’t far from the alley.
Qin Ziqiao replied: 【No.】
【Then where are you?】 Cheng Xiang bit into the apple and chewed. A drop of juice splattered on the screen, and she wiped it off.
【My own place.】
Huh? Cheng Xiang immediately sat up cross-legged and called Qin Ziqiao directly: “Did you fight with your mom?”
“No.” Qin Ziqiao’s voice came through. “I’m a grown adult, why would I fight with her?”
“Then why aren’t you going over? Spending New Year alone won’t do.”
“She and my dad each have their own things going on. I don’t want to go over. Also, I’m not spending New Year alone.”
“Then with who?” Cheng Xiang practically dove into the phone.
Qin Ziqiao had friends other than her?
Qin Ziqiao paused, then said, “You’ll be in Beicheng for a few more days, right?”
“Yeah, uh-huh.”
“Then let me take you out another day—second day of New Year? I’ll bring someone for you to meet.”
“Qiaozi, don’t tell me you’re dating someone?” Cheng Xiang laughed before she even finished: “Hahaha, that’s a really cold joke, hey!”
Qin Ziqiao went silent on the other end.
“You’re not, are you?” Cheng Xiang bounced off the sofa. “Who is it?”
“We’ll talk when we meet.”
Cheng Xiang hung up and wanted to rush over to Director Ma, who was frying meatballs in the kitchen: “Mom, did you know Qiaozi is dating someone?!”
But wait. Cheng Xiang bit her fingertip and slowed her pace.
Qin Ziqiao was being so secretive—what if she hadn’t told her family yet? If she made a fuss to Director Ma, Director Ma would definitely tell Qin Ziqiao’s mom. Would that expose it?
The main thing was, in that dream of Cheng Xiang’s, Qin Ziqiao’s romance was really dramatic—she was with the big boss of Tao Tianran’s company.
It couldn’t actually come true, right? Ha, ha, ha.
As evening approached, Cheng Xiang paced around the room, chewing on her finger.
Director Ma noticed her: “If you’re really that bored, help me peel garlic.”
“Huh? I’m not bored, not bored.” Cheng Xiang had been peeling garlic since she was little—she was thoroughly sick of it.
She was thinking: Was Tao Tianran really spending New Year alone today?
If she called to invite Tao Tianran over for New Year, it would seem like she’d lost. Besides, Tao Tianran had nothing to do with her right now, right?
What are you saying, Xiangzi? Cheng Xiang rigorously removed the word 「temporarily」 from that sentence.
But if she really let Tao Tianran spend New Year alone, she couldn’t quite bear it.
After going back and forth, she was about to push open the siheyuan door to sneak out and call Tao Tianran—she opened the door, and Tao Tianran was standing right there.
Cheng Xiang started and took half a step back. “You—when did you get here?”
“Just now.”
Truly just now. So coincidental it was as if Cheng Xiang had opened the door just for her.
Tao Tianran asked, “Where are you going?”
Cheng Xiang raised a hand to touch the tip of her nose. “Oh, I was going to the little supermarket to buy a bottle of soy sauce for my mom.”
“Weren’t you coming out to call me?”
Cheng Xiang touched the tip of her nose again. “Why would I call you?”
“To invite me to your house for New Year.”
“Ha.” Cheng Xiang laughed loudly. “I would not. I’d just order you a KFC Family Bucket.”
And wouldn’t forget to swap the Pepsi in the Family Bucket for Nine Treasures Juice for you.
But that wasn’t enough, Tao Tianran.
Cheng Xiang awkwardly stepped aside from the doorway. “Since you’re already here, come in. Um, my mom’s soy sauce is actually enough to get by, so I won’t go buy any.”
“Oh right,” Cheng Xiang lowered her voice. “Let me tell you, my mom has a big problem with you. Brace yourself.”
Tao Tianran: “Mm.”
Cheng Xiang led Tao Tianran into the courtyard, feeling inexplicably guilty. Deputy Director Cheng was in the living room, swaying his head to Kunqu opera8. The TV was playing the warm-up for the Spring Festival Gala. Cheng Xiang called out in a tiny voice, “Dad.”
Like a thief.
Just then, Director Ma emerged from the kitchen wielding a rolling pin: “Old Cheng, about tonight’s dumplings…”
Cheng Xiang’s shoulders instinctively hunched.
Director Ma asked, rolling pin raised, “What are you hiding from?”
“Am I hiding?” Cheng Xiang said. “I’m not, hahaha.”
Director Ma glanced at Tao Tianran.
The atmosphere froze for a moment. Only Deputy Director Cheng, blissfully unaware, said cheerfully, “Oh, Xiao Tao’s here?”
Xiao… Tao?
Tao Tianran hadn’t been to their house many times. After all these years, she wouldn’t have expected her dad to remember her so well.
Director Ma said with studied neutrality, “Inviting someone over for New Year without telling me in advance—I haven’t prepared any special dishes.”
“Hey, no need!” Cheng Xiang said extra loudly, walking over and gripping Director Ma’s shoulders with both hands. “Your cooking is amazing! Whatever you make, she’s lucky to eat it.”
“You’re not her,” Director Ma said in that same lukewarm tone. “Can you speak for her about being lucky?”
Cheng Xiang’s heart skipped.
Director Ma knew about her and Tao Tianran’s relationship from before. And she’d found out in a particularly startling way—she and Tao Tianran had been in the middle of… that… when Director Ma almost walked in on them.
After she and Tao Tianran broke up, even though she’d never said anything, Director Ma must have figured it out. So Director Ma, like Qin Ziqiao, had a big problem with Tao Tianran.
The reason Cheng Xiang hadn’t agreed right away to let Tao Tianran come for New Year was, first, she felt she couldn’t reconcile with Tao Tianran so quickly, right? And second, she figured Director Ma would definitely not give Tao Tianran a warm welcome—what if she kicked Tao Tianran out? How awkward would that be?
“I can,” Cheng Xiang blustered. “With a mouth as picky as mine, if even I think it’s a feast, then anyone would.”
Director Ma glanced at Tao Tianran again. “Xiao Tao, sit down.” Then: “Old Cheng, come help me check the dumpling filling.”
Deputy Director Cheng stood up. “Coming, coming.” As he walked, he said to Tao Tianran, “Xiao Tao, I still haven’t properly thanked you for helping Uncle find a surgeon. Those days Uncle was hospitalized, it was all thanks to you and Qiaozi visiting the hospital every day. You came at just the right time today—have a proper taste of your auntie’s and my cooking.”
Director Ma looked at Cheng Xiang again. “What are you standing around for? Make Xiao Tao some tea.”
The two elders left the living room.
Ha! Cheng Xiang eyed Tao Tianran sidelong. “Do you want tea?”
Tao Tianran nodded. “Sure.”
“Since when do you drink tea.” Cheng Xiang shuffled toward the kitchen in her slippers, flip-flop-flip-flop.
Director Ma directed Deputy Director Cheng as he grunted and mixed the dumpling filling, while she herself wielded a cleaver, chopping tomatoes. She spotted Cheng Xiang coming in. “What?”
“Mom, put down the cleaver before you talk.” Cheng Xiang opened the fridge. “She doesn’t drink tea. I’ll grab her a yogurt. Hey, is my muscat grape yogurt gone? If so, I’ll go buy some.”
“If you go out, watch out for cars.”
“Oh, here it is, found one.” Cheng Xiang took out a yogurt and bumped Director Ma’s shoulder. “Are you getting old, old lady? You’ve gotten so naggy. Since when do you tell me to watch out for cars every time I go out?”
Director Ma looked down and kept chopping tomatoes.
Cheng Xiang glanced over—Deputy Director Cheng wasn’t paying attention—then whispered to Director Ma, “Mom, I’ve noticed your horizons have really broadened, hey. You actually agreed to let Tao Tianran come to our house for New Year.”
“I had a dream.”
“What dream?”
“That day you went out to buy liangpi9 for your dad, years ago—the year you went to teach in the rural region. That day, I dreamed you got hit by a car. Ugh, it felt so real.”
Cheng Xiang was bewildered. “Huh?”
“You probably don’t know this, but the year I was pregnant with you, there was a car accident around here, right by the market. A truck somehow mounted the curb. That day I was pregnant and craving something—your dad hadn’t gotten off work yet—and I was planning to go buy liangpi. Halfway there, you started kicking like crazy in my belly. My heart was pounding, and I thought, what if something’s wrong? So I went home first.”
“Tell me,” Director Ma said, cleaver raised, “if I’d gone that day, would I have been hit? That’s why I say you’re my lucky star. That day you were kicking in my belly, as if reminding me.”
Cheng Xiang thought of the dream she’d had herself, pinched her fingertips, but said, “It’s not that magical. Also, Mom, stop talking while holding a cleaver.”
“It’s true.” Director Ma continued chopping tomatoes. “So when I had that dream two years ago, I was terrified. If you got hit by a car, it would’ve been like you took the hit for me.”
“You’re getting more and more outlandish, on New Year’s of all days.” Cheng Xiang patted Director Ma’s shoulder. “We’re all fine, aren’t we?”
“Right. So I figured, whatever—if you want to invite her over for New Year, go ahead.”
“I didn’t invite her.” Cheng Xiang looked at Director Ma sidelong. “You’re not mad at her anymore?”
Director Ma looked back at her sidelong. “Are you not mad at her anymore?”
Cheng Xiang clutched the yogurt. “I am.”
Director Ma waved the cleaver. “You are.”
Pu. Cheng Xiang laughed.
She shuffled back out of the kitchen in her slippers and set the muscat grape yogurt in front of Tao Tianran. “Drink this.”
She sat down on the sofa beside Tao Tianran, hands gripping the edge. Their sofa was very old-fashioned—stiff leather with a crocheted yarn cover Director Ma had made by hand.
Cheng Xiang swung her slippered feet and asked, “How come you didn’t tell me anything? You found a doctor for my dad and went to the hospital to look after him.”
“If I told you, you’d have just let me come for New Year?”
“Tell me or not, you’re here anyway, aren’t you.” Cheng Xiang muttered, sweeping a hand through her ponytail.
Tao Tianran gave a slight lift of her lip, pulled out her phone, and started typing.
Oho. Cheng Xiang peeked from the corner of her eye—who was she texting?
Cheng Xiang waited, putting on an air of nonchalance, but her own phone didn’t buzz.
Oh right—Tao Tianran didn’t have her new number yet.
Cheng Xiang dangled her feet in her slippers again. Then her phone buzzed.
Cheng Xiang pulled it out and looked—oh, it was actually Fang Cheng, wishing her a happy Spring Festival.
For some reason she felt a twinge of guilt. The tips of her swinging feet stopped, and she quickly typed a reply to Fang Cheng. She looked up to find Tao Tianran watching her.
Cheng Xiang: “Wh—what.”
Just then, the phone in Cheng Xiang’s palm buzzed again. She looked down—she’d been added to a group chat.
The profile photo of the person currently talking looked awfully familiar. Oh, wasn’t that Tao Tianran?
Tao Tianran: 【Ready? @Eating Clouds One Bite at a Time】
Shianne: 【Cheating.】
Yi Yu: 【Cheating.】
Qin Ziqiao: 【Cheating.】
Then the group went quiet.
Shianne: 【@Qiao Zhiji】
Shianne: 【@Qiao Zhiji @Qiao Zhiji】
Qiao Zhiji: 【Cheating.】
Shianne: 【Are we starting or not? I’m bored waiting.】
She sent a photo.
Cheng Xiang peered at it: a glamorous beauty with a feline charm, in a black-white-gray-toned apartment, biting an apple with a languid, seductive smile. She had her arm around a little girl who looked somewhat like her—apparently her younger sister—who seemed distinctly annoyed at having a face pressed against her head.
In the background, a silhouette was visible: long straight black hair10, staring at a laptop even on New Year’s Eve.
“Hey.”
Cheng Xiang lifted her gaze.
Tao Tianran asked her, “Ready?”
“What for? Grabbing red envelopes?” This kind of buildup in a group chat usually meant red envelopes.
“Mm.”
“Wait, what’s this group even about?” Cheng Xiang said, even as her finger already hovered over the phone screen.
Tao Tianran’s red envelope appeared.
Hey! If she was going to cheat, the least she could do was count to three! Cheng Xiang’s reflexes were lightning fast. Somehow she had a telepathic sense for Tao Tianran—her fingertip stabbed down almost the instant the red envelope was sent.
Shianne: 【Teacher Tao, you only sent one red envelope?! @Tao Tianran】
Shianne: 【Cheating!】
Yi Yu: 【Cheating!】
Qin Ziqiao: 【Cheating!】
Shianne: 【@Qiao Zhiji】
Qiao Zhiji: 【Cheating!】
Cheng Xiang looked at the red envelope she’d just grabbed from Tao Tianran. It said: 【cjak11.】
Ha, who uses it like that.
But she grinned and lifted her gaze. “Tao Tianran, peaceful Spring Festival to you too.”
“Peaceful Spring Festival.”
“Peaceful every year.”
Tao Tianran smiled gently. “Peaceful every year.”
[Easter Egg.]
Tao Tianran asked Cheng Xiang, “What does u1s112 mean?”
“Seriously, Tao Tianran?” Cheng Xiang wore her oversized school uniform, one hand propped on the edge of the desk, grinning at her. “Even if you just got to Beicheng, don’t you go online?”
“You don’t know what u1s1 means? Then what about srds13?”
Tao Tianran gave her a sidelong glance.
“u1s1 means to be honest, srds means although but.” Cheng Xiang sat at the desk in front of Tao Tianran, swinging her feet. “And there’s xql14 and stuff—have you heard of that? xql means little couple.”
Cheng Xiang said this with a little private thought—when Tao Tianran looked over at her, she got embarrassed.
She averted her gaze to the clouds drifting across the distant sky outside the classroom window.
From then on, Cheng Xiang would occasionally joke around with Tao Tianran.
When passing test papers back to Tao Tianran, she’d use a plum candy15 to weight down a note for her. It read: 「jttqhh16—ha I mean the weather is so nice today, Tao Tianran :)」
One day she couldn’t help tapping Tao Tianran’s desk. “I just make them all up.”
Tao Tianran looked up, fountain pen in hand.
“Like u1s1 and srds—those are standard usage. But the way I just turn a sentence into initials, that’s me making things up. Other people wouldn’t know what they mean. Don’t go learning to use them like that, okay?”
Tao Tianran: “Do I look stupid to you?”
Ha. Cheng Xiang’s mouth split into a grin.
After that, the notes Cheng Xiang passed to Tao Tianran still contained all sorts of random initials.
Tao Tianran didn’t seem to take these little things to heart.
Until many years later, when that truck appeared—scratched paint, a black plastic cover next to the headlight, and beside it, the driver’s daughter’s graffiti: “xxybzd17.”
The original intent behind those childish strokes was lost to time.
Only after Tao Tianran had endured countless loops, squinting at those letters once more—
Her mind went back to age seventeen, to the little notes Cheng Xiang had passed her with all sorts of sentences turned into jumbled initials.
Some she could guess. Some she couldn’t.
But “xxybzd”—the sentence that instantly surfaced in Tao Tianran’s mind was: “Xiao Xiang will never know.”
Cheng Xiang had once said, “Tao Tianran, if I ever like you again, I want to be a happy fool who knows nothing.”
Then let Xiao Xiang never know.
A long time later, when Tao Tianran and Cheng Xiang sat together on the curb of a summer night, the evening breeze brushing past them, each licking a newly launched flavor of ice cream, the air carrying the fresh scent of lily of the valley.
Tao Tianran thought of those countless loops.
Were they real? Or a dream?
Even Tao Tianran herself couldn’t tell anymore.
Perhaps this was the story of one person crossing life and death countless times, twisting space and time.
Perhaps it was just the story of one person who suddenly woke up and realized she’d lost the girl she loved.
Tao Tianran remembered the time in sophomore year of high school when they watched an outdoor movie—Cheng Xiang had slipped out to find her.
She’d been sitting on the steps, watching Cheng Xiang crouch in front of her, hugging her knees, gazing at her, fluttering her thick lashes.
She still couldn’t say why she walked over and held her palm sideways in front of Cheng Xiang’s eyes. Cheng Xiang blinked, her lashes sweeping into her palm lines.
“Not getting up?” Tao Tianran asked.
Summer night insects bumped against the lamp shade. Cheng Xiang said with a hint of annoyance, “My legs are numb.”
Tao Tianran withdrew her sideways hand and offered it to Cheng Xiang.
Cheng Xiang startled.
She gently, restrainedly, grasped the tips of Tao Tianran’s fingers and pulled herself up with Tao Tianran’s strength.
“Hey Tao Tianran.”
“Mm?”
“The movie tonight is actually worth watching.”
“Don’t want to.”
“The romance between the two leads is incredibly epic, okay?! Hey, speaking of which—someone like you, what would it look like if you fell for someone?”
“Don’t know.”
“Would you smile?”
“Don’t know.”
“Would you cry?”
“No.”
“Ha, you’d cry, wouldn’t you, Tao Tianran?”
“No.”
“You’d definitely cry.”
“I said no.”
“Then what would it be like when you fall for someone? Tell me, Tao Tianran…”
Cheng Xiang had chirped and chattered around Tao Tianran, saying too many things to count—like summer night insects, like sunlight, like a breeze sifting through eyelashes.
After much time had passed, when they’d finished their ice cream, Tao Tianran stood up. Cheng Xiang hugged her knees and looked up at her.
“What?”
“My legs are numb.”
Tao Tianran offered her a hand.
Cheng Xiang smiled, took the leverage, and stood up holding her hand.
“Tao Tianran, you still talk so little after all these years. How come the motormouth disease isn’t contagious? I figure I caught it from my mom.”
“Is it possible…”
“Hm?”
“…that it’s not contagious, it’s genetic.”
“Ha!” Cheng Xiang walked backward, facing Tao Tianran, hands behind her back. “Tao Tianran, you can actually make jokes now.”
“Careful.” Tao Tianran reached out a hand to her.
She took Tao Tianran’s hand and kept walking backward, slowly. From high school to now, that habit hadn’t changed.
“I really do talk too much. All these years, I feel like I’ve told you everything from birth. What about you, Tao Tianran—do you have any secrets?”
Tao Tianran fell silent for a moment.
“You actually do!” Cheng Xiang pinched her palm. “What, what? What secret?”
“No.”
“You definitely do! Tell me.”
“Xiao Xiang.”
“Hm?”
“Are you happy?”
“I’m maybe a little too happy? Qiaozi says I’m like a dummy.” Cheng Xiang frowned as she said it, then raised her other hand to rub the little knot between her brows. “But I figure, you know—contentment is happiness, right? My comics aren’t super popular or anything, but there’s a group of people who like them. My parents are in decent health. I…”
She glanced at Tao Tianran. “I have you too. Ha, would saying that make you too smug?”
Tao Tianran raised her other hand and began to slip off her pinky ring.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“For you.”
“The pinky ring?”
“Mm.”
“Didn’t I give that to you? Why are you giving it to me?”
Tao Tianran thought: the years were just right, the summer night was just right, but she was a woman of few words, and the feeling of this moment—she didn’t know how to express it adequately.
“If you want to give me something, why not make one yourself? Just keep wearing the one I gave you. Maybe…” Cheng Xiang blinked slyly. “It warded off disaster for you at some point without you even knowing.”
Tao Tianran’s steps paused briefly, then she let Cheng Xiang keep pulling her forward.
She nodded. “Mm. Maybe.”
We chase time and break open the shell of regret.
You smile just right in front of me; this is the only thing I know.
The only thing I’m sure of.
—The End—
The author has something to say:
Tomorrow is Mid-Autumn Festival—happy holidays, everyone!
Footnotes
- A term from Daoist/Buddhist practice meaning to undergo spiritual or martial training; used metaphorically here to describe someone who has profoundly changed or deepened.
- An intimate Cantonese endearment meaning 'silly girl,' typically used only in private or intimate settings.
- Chinese slang (lengxiaohua) for a joke that is intentionally or unintentionally unfunny—so 'cold' it makes listeners shiver rather than laugh.
- A renowned traditional pastry brand in Beijing, founded in 1895, famous for its Chinese-style pastries and cakes.
- A centuries-old Beijing brand known for its sauces and pickled vegetables, founded in 1530.
- A traditional Chinese mixed pickle made from eight types of vegetables preserved in soy sauce and spices.
- A traditional Beijing snack made from yellow peas, smooth and subtly sweet, often served as a seasonal treat.
- One of the oldest forms of traditional Chinese opera, originating in Kunshan, known for its elegant, refined musical style and poetic lyrics.
- A cold Chinese noodle dish made from wheat or rice starch, served with chili oil, vinegar, and other seasonings; popular as a summer street food.
- A classic internet beauty trope denoting long, straight, black hair, often associated with a cool, elegant aesthetic.
- A Spring Festival greeting abbreviation formed from the pinyin initials of 'chun jie an kang' (chunjie ankang), meaning 'peaceful Spring Festival.' It follows the pattern of Chinese internet slang initialisms.
- Internet slang for 'to be honest' or 'to speak the truth plainly,' a contraction of the Chinese phrase 'you yi shuo yi' (youyi shuoyi), literally 'if there's one, say one.'
- Internet slang for 'although/however' or 'despite that,' a contraction of 'sui ran dan shi' (suiran danshi).
- Internet slang for 'little couple' or 'young couple,' a contraction of 'xiao qing lü' (xiao qinglu).
- A traditional Chinese candied plum treat, sweet and sour, commonly enjoyed as a snack.
- A personal abbreviation following the pattern of Chinese internet slang initialisms, standing for 'jin tian tian qi hao hao' (jintian tianqi haohao), meaning 'the weather is so nice today.'
- A string of letters following the pattern of Chinese internet slang initialisms (pinyin abbreviations). In this context, it stands for 'xiao xiang yong bu zhi dao' (xiaoxiang yongbuzhidao), meaning 'Xiao Xiang will never know.'
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