The Alley Was Always This Long – Chapter 26
by Little PandaKeywords
“Two-faced.”
[When your heart holds someone you like,
You carry an umbrella every day.]
Before the second round of design began, the production team played a little trick.
They arranged for everyone to do separate post-interviews, talking about the designer who left the deepest impression, and describing her with three keywords.
Thanks to Tao Tianran’s reflected glory, Cheng Xiang’s group was placed last. Entering the studio interview, the editor smiled and said, “You’re really popular.”
Cheng Xiang lifted her lips. “Am I?”
“In the previous round of voting among contestants, you and Teacher Tao were neck and neck. You got seven votes, Teacher Tao got eight.”
“Wow.” Cheng Xiang sat on the bar stool, her legs so long that even in high heels, her feet could touch the ground.
She never imagined that one day, she could stand on equal footing with Tao Tianran.
“What about you? Who did you choose?”
“Of course, Teacher Tao.” Cheng Xiang pressed her lips together, then released them.
From the corner of her eye, she caught the director beside her mouthing frantically at the cameraman: “Close-up! Get her micro-expressions!”
Tsk, the shippers1 were at it again.
Just then, a face with a conspiratorial smile appeared outside the glass door.
Cheng Xiang was drinking water before the official interview, and nearly sprayed it out.
“B-Big Boss⦔
Yi Yu was pressed against the glass door like a gecko, waving at Cheng Xiang.
Cheng Xiang set down her water cup with a complicated expression.
When the interview ended and Cheng Xiang walked out, she glanced at Yi Yu. “Why are you here?”
Yi Yu looked at Cheng Xiang with a doting auntie smile that made Cheng Xiang’s skin crawl.
“You know that after every round of filming, the rough cuts have to be reviewed by us investors, right?”
“β¦You’re an investor? You don’t know anything about the show and you’re still an investor?”
Yi Yu puffed out her chest. “I have money.”
Cheng Xiang made a zipping motion at her lips, then bowed slightly with a gesture that said, “You have money, you’re right, please continue.”
Yi Yu dramatically cupped her cheeks. “I think you and Teacher Tao are so shippable!”
“Wait, so why do you keep calling her Teacher Tao?” Cheng Xiang launched her three soul-searching questions. “You’re her boss, right? You’re older than her, right? You’re the one paying her, right?”
As she spoke, Tao Tianran was being led by the editor from the outer room.
Cheng Xiang had been blocking the hallway while talking to Yi Yu. Now she silently stepped aside, standing against the wall with Yi Yu, and lowered her head. “Teacher Tao.”
Wow, such a powerful presence.
Yi Yu couldn’t hold it back. “Pfft.”
No one knew where Tao Tianran got all those white shirts, each one crisp and sharp. Her dress pants were mostly tapered, wrapping around her slender, crane-like legs. In seven-centimeter heels, she looked ascetically minimalist, revealing ankles as delicate as white porcelain.
Yi Yu nudged Cheng Xiang. “Didn’t they ask you for three adjectives about Teacher Tao? What did you say? I couldn’t hear clearly through the glass.”
Deliberately, no doubt.
Cheng Xiang raised her eyes. “Ice field.” Reflecting a light that caused snow blindness.
“Talent.” A fountain pen sufficient to pry miracles from the earth’s crust.
As she spoke the third word, Tao Tianran happened to brush past her.
She lowered her soft lashes to look at Tao Tianran’s wrist, which hung by her dress pantsβlean and elegant. Even this person’s wrist was ascetic. The ulna protruded slightly, faint blue veins visible on the back of her hand, bones faintly apparent. A plain band circled her pinky finger, as if she were keeping vows to the world.
But Cheng Xiang thought back to last night.
Separated by a thin bed board, she had heard Tao Tianran’s long, soft sighsβrestrained, controlled. Cheng Xiang lightly lifted her fingers, then let them fall again, gazing at Tao Tianran’s incomparable hand as she said:
“Two-faced.”
Tao Tianran didn’t stop walking, but she lifted her thin eyelids to glance at her.
Yi Yu called out to Tao Tianran. “I have to leave soon. Why don’t you give me a spoilerβwhat are your three keywords for Shianne?”
Tao Tianran glanced sideways. Yi Yu immediately held out the black coffee in her hand. “Here, I haven’t drunk it.”
“Wait, you’re the boss or I’m the boss? Why should I buy you coffee?” Yi Yu clicked her tongue. “Fine, I’ll give it to you anyway.”
“What kind of person is this, with such a powerful presence? Anyone standing next to her looks like a little palace maid.” Yi Yu muttered under her breath.
Tao Tianran accepted the coffee and actually answered Yi Yu’s question. “Talkative.”
“Talent.”
She walked past Cheng Xiang in her high heels, trailing the bitter aroma of black coffee. “DΓ©jΓ vu.”
Cheng Xiang’s heart skipped a beat.
Tao Tianran went into the studio interview. Yi Yu clutched her chest. “This is truly the best money I’ve ever spent!”
Cheng Xiang glanced at her sidelong. “Wasn’t this the same person who told me to stay clear-headed on the plane? And called Teacher Tao a gem?”
Yi Yu said, “You also need to approach Teacher Tao with the mindset of shipping them, understand?”
“Hah?”
“A gem is unmoved by people. She only lingers at human fingertips. Your entire lifetime is her fleeting moment. Your heart-stopping moments are her casual glances.”
Cheng Xiang held her breath.
How coincidental, these words Yi Yu spoke.
Cheng Xiang’s entire lifetime was Tao Tianran’s fleeting moment. Cheng Xiang’s heart-stopping moments were Tao Tianran’s casual glances.
Yi Yu: “Once you recognize this, being able to get a little closer to her isn’t a loss, right?”
Before Yi Yu left, Cheng Xiang called out to her. “Did you deliver them?”
“Coconut rolls? Delivered, delivered.”
When returning from Thailand, Cheng Xiang’s suitcase had been stuffed full with snacks for Yu Yuluo. The souvenirs she’d bought for Qin Ziqiao were packed in Yi Yu’s suitcase, so she asked Yi Yu to deliver them.
Before leaving, Yi Yu blew a kiss at Cheng Xiang. “Good luck! Don’t let my money go to waste.”
What luck.
A rainstorm was about to break but hadn’t yet fallen. The sky was oppressively muggy. To quickly build rapport among the designers, the production team organized a hot pot dinner.
Cheng Xiang’s mind was hung up on Tao Tianran’s words “dΓ©jΓ vu,” so she had little interest and went back to her room to shower first. Her clothes hadn’t been returned yet, so she had to take her shirt to the bathroom.
Yi Yu came to visit without any advance notice. If she’d known, she would have asked Yi Yu to bring some shirts for her.
As she bent her head to scrub, there was a snap.
Everything plunged into deep darkness. Cheng Xiang’s fingertips froze.
Seriously? She knew they shouldn’t have plugged in electric hot pots in these prefab rooms. The circuit breaker had tripped.
Cheng Xiang pulled out her phone to check. It was already 12:05 AM.
She sighed, set down the shirt she’d been scrubbing, and headed toward the dormitory.
She stopped outside Tao Tianran’s door. Surprisingly, the door was open. Probably because the sudden power outage had stopped the air conditioning, so Tao Tianran had opened the door for ventilation.
Cheng Xiang curled her knuckles and knocked lightly on the door.
Inside, Tao Tianran made a soft sound of acknowledgment.
A cold, clear sound. In the thick darkness, it had the quality of jade shattering.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Cheng Xiang pulled it out to look.
The phone the production team had given them only had each other’s contact information. Right now, Zou Tian was asking: γPower’s out, aren’t you scared?γ
γCome eat hot pot, the director brought candles. @Shianne @Tao Tianranγ
Others followed in a queue:
γ@Shianne @Tao Tianranγ
γ@Shianne @Tao Tianranγ
γ@Shianne @Tao Tianranγ
β¦β¦
Obviously teasing.
Tao Tianran replied in the group: γNot going.γ
As she replied, the phone screen’s pale blue light briefly illuminated the room. The prefab dormitory was actually quite small. Standing at the doorway, Cheng Xiang could see a corner of the single bed, with one of Tao Tianran’s slender calves resting on it.
The ancients said “holding a pipa to half-cover one’s face2“βit turns out this angle is most alluring. Because you can only glimpse a corner, it invites infinite imagination: above that porcelain-white ankle, was Tao Tianran wearing a bathrobe? A slip dress? Or proper long-sleeved, long-legged loungewear, with silk sliding down snow-white skin too smooth to hold, making the ascetic look even more seductive?
The phone screen’s blue light was like those tiny insects in primeval forests that emit faint blue glows, crawling bit by bit up her calf, greedily devouring some beauty.
Cheng Xiang lightly swallowed, thinking of the sounds she’d “accidentally” heard last night, feeling her mouth go dry.
She used to put Tao Tianran on too high a pedestal.
Perhaps only by stepping outside Cheng Xiang’s perspective could she glimpse the icebergs and reefs beneath the sea’s surface.
She stood at the door and said, “Teacher Tao, it’s me.”
“I know.”
From the other end of the corridor came faint noiseβeveryone had gathered there for the commotion. Only the two of them, the ones being teased in the group, were hereβin the darkness, in the silence.
“It’s like this.” Cheng Xiang swallowed again. “I only have two shirts to rotate these past few days. I’ve been blow-drying them halfway and leaving them overnight. But now with the sudden power outage, that won’t work anymore. Teacher Tao, if it’s convenient, could I borrow a shirt?”
“It’s going to rain soon, isn’t it?” Tao Tianran suddenly said.
“Hm?”
“The air is very humid.”
“Oh.” Cheng Xiang nodded. “Yes.”
She suddenly remembered high school.
One day Director Ma was washing her schoolbag for her. She clicked her tongue. “Why do you carry an umbrella every day?”
“I’m afraid of rain.”
“Can’t you just check the weather forecast?”
“Since when are weather forecasts accurate?”
Until one day it rained. After evening study hall ended, classmates complained about the forecast being wrong. Cheng Xiang turned back and raised a hand. “Hey.”
β¦What kind of messy opening line was that.
Tao Tianran looked at her.
“I happened to have an umbrella in my desk drawer. Forgot to take it home last time.” Cheng Xiang asked, “Do you want to use it?”
Tao Tianran paused. “My family’s driver is coming to pick me up.”
“Oh.” Cheng Xiang opened her mouth. “Hahaha.”
Most classmates were stranded by the heavy rain. Qin Ziqiao had taken sick leave that day. Cheng Xiang had no one to walk with. She sat silently in the classroom for a moment, then suddenly grabbed her umbrella and ran out.
Tao Tianran had already been picked up by the driver and was sitting in the Rolls-Royce parked by the road.
The silver sculpture on the car’s hood gleamed in the downpour. Cheng Xiang ran over, stepping on rain flowers splashing on the ground. “Tao Tianran.”
Tao Tianran lowered the car window.
“It’s nothing.” Cheng Xiang licked her lips, wrinkled her nose, and spun the umbrella handle in her hand. “I just wanted you to know, my umbrella looks like this. Red, with a peach sticker on the edge. Look carefullyβit can be peeled off.”
“So, ciaoβthat means goodbye in Italian.” She opened the red umbrella and ran off with a tap-tap.
Many years later, when Cheng Xiang was no longer Cheng Xiang, outside the prefab room, a summer rainstorm finally fell.
Cheng Xiang inexplicably thought of those words she’d spoken:
“Red, with a peach sticker on the edge.”
Tao Tianran asked, “What did you say you needed?”
“If it’s convenient, lend me a shirt.” Cheng Xiang asked, “Have you been drinking?”
“Currently drinking.”
Tao Tianran’s originally clear voice was slightly dimmed in the night, showing some static.
She said, “Come in. There’s a shirt on the back of the chair. I was planning to wear it tomorrow. You can take it first.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Would someone like Tao Tianran casually let people into her room? She was probably a bit drunk.
Cheng Xiang walked in and saw a scene similar to one in her dreams.
Tao Tianran leaned against the headboard, her lashes lowered. The wall panels were so thin. Her dark hair brushed against themβif Cheng Xiang were lying on her own bed right now, she would hear sounds like falling rain.
Not the summer downpour outside the window. The sound of Tao Tianran’s dark hair brushing against the wall panels was like the fine sounds of spring silkworms eating mulberry leaves.
She wasn’t wearing a slip dress like in Cheng Xiang’s dream. Her silk pajamas were indeed long-sleeved and long-legged, moon-white, properly and strictly fitted to her body.
Only a red wine glass was held between her fingers, her lean wrist emerging from the cuff. Just like the ankle resting at the foot of the bedβit made one want to hold it.
Cheng Xiang swallowed again. “Drunk?”
Tao Tianran narrowed her eyes slightly. “No.”
The light was uneven. The air was filled with masses of rain-moisture that seemed to soak into one’s hands and feet. After her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Tao Tianran could observe Cheng Xiang walking in.
Fresh from a shower, wearing a Thai-style camisole and hip-hugging jeans, tightly wrapping her slender curves, her long hair hanging damp and not yet dry.
The moisture on her skin made one suspect that after showering, she’d only been distracted by her upturned cat eyes and hadn’t used a towel to dry properly. But it was also this moisture that made her vivid as a rose touched with night dew.
Cheng Xiang knew Tao Tianran was observing her.
She breathed lightly, feeling a drop of water slide down the hollow of her chest and into her camisole.
Sweat, or moisture condensed on her skin.
Tao Tianran’s gaze was like that ink-blue fountain pen between her fingersβwhen it landed on someone, it had a sketching quality.
Cheng Xiang’s fingertip pointed vaguely at the white shirt on the chair back. “This one?”
“Mm.” Tao Tianran raised her wrist and took a sip of wine.
“We’re filming tomorrow,” Cheng Xiang reminded her.
“I won’t drink too much.”
“Insomnia?”
“Hm?”
“You seem to like drinking, Teacher Tao.”
“Just bored.”
“Oh.” Cheng Xiang nodded, picked up the shirt, and raised her hand. “Thanks.”
Tao Tianran’s gaze fell on her blinking lashes.
Last night’s restrained, controlled gasps echoed again in Cheng Xiang’s ears. She suddenly wondered: Did Tao Tianran also have desires?
Even though she used to joke with Qin Ziqiao that Tao Tianran acted like a scumbag top3βnot initiating, not refusing.
The rain-mist drifted between them, as if their skin were covered in a layer of slickness.
Cheng Xiang lowered her eyes to look at Tao Tianran’s cold-white ankle. If she reached out to hold it now, would Tao Tianran refuse her?
What if she did to Tao Tianran what she’d never dared to do before?
Her fingertips curled slightly. She asked, “Teacher Tao said I seem familiar. What does that mean?”
Tao Tianran lightly turned her wrist, the clear, shallow wine swirling along. “It means you’re somewhat like someone I know, but not entirely like that person.”
“An ex-girlfriend?” Cheng Xiang curved her lips into a smile.
One hand holding Tao Tianran’s white shirt, the other arm crossed at her waist, leg leaning against the writing desk. “Teacher Tao hasn’t mentioned yet what kind of person she was.”
Cheng Xiang could clearly feel that Tao Tianran’s attitude toward her had gone through attention, avoidance, and then drawing closer.
In these changes of Tao Tianran’s, which were because she resembled Cheng Xiang? Which were because she didn’t quite resemble Cheng Xiang?
She wanted to hear this answer.
And was afraid to hear this answer.
Tao Tianran should be able to feel her gaze, landing somewhat beyond the bounds of politeness on her ankle. The slender ankle turned slightly. Just then, someone suddenly rushed out of the corridor calling: “Shianne!”
That syllable always made Cheng Xiang’s heart tremble, always reminded her of how everyone used to call her: “Xiangzi!”
She was the one who chickened out first, saying to Tao Tianran: “They’re calling me. I’ll go first.”
Tao Tianran: “Mm.”
She hurried out of Tao Tianran’s room, first went next door to put down the shirt, then walked to the dining area to join everyone.
A long table was scattered with candles. The two mandarin duck hot pots4 had been mostly finished, with only lotus root slices and bamboo shoots remaining in the vegetable plates. Someone was holding a guitar, singing folk songs.
Cheng Xiang laughed. “There’s no food left, why did you call me?”
Zou Tian: “We were afraid you’d be bored, with the power outage and all. Teacher Tao really isn’t coming?”
“Probably not.”
“What’s she doing?”
“β¦I don’t know.” A lie.
The designer holding the guitar was singing “You’re beautiful when the corners of your mouth turn down”βa song old as time. But Cheng Xiang couldn’t see Tao Tianran’s lips clearly just now. She’d only seen her ankle.
Zou Tian asked, “Are you hot?”
“Hm?”
“You’re sweating a lot.”
“It’s stuffy.” Cheng Xiang reached one hand into her thick hair, supporting the back of her neck. “It’ll be fine after it rains.”
The next day, the second round officially began filming.
Cheng Xiang put on Tao Tianran’s white shirt and walked out of her room, just as Tao Tianran was coming out too.
Tao Tianran’s white shirts were all similarβcrisp, simple, well-tailored. But on her own body, they were an inward-gathering restraint. On Cheng Xiang’s body, they became an outward-radiating allure.
Completely different styles.
The designers gathered first. Someone noticed Cheng Xiang’s shirt. “That’s not your style.”
Cheng Xiang was afraid that stammering would invite more teasing. “My clothes being washed haven’t been returned yet. I borrowed it from Teacher Tao.”
After saying this, she closed her eyes for a moment, listening as everyone drew out their tones as she’d expected:
“Ohhhβyou and Teacher Tao are really close!”
Close was an overstatement.
It was just that a shirt was like a second skin, clinging to her pores, reminding her of Tao Tianran’s lingering gasps that night.
That faintly taut string from last night seemed to hang at the back of Cheng Xiang’s neck.
She glanced at Tao Tianran sitting beside her, flipping through a catalog, her face still cold and distant.
Seeing Cheng Xiang looking at her, she raised her eyes. “What?”
Cheng Xiang shook her head. “Nothing.”
Group discussion began, still in the same small conference room. Tao Tianran asked Cheng Xiang, “Any ideas?”
“Still me proposing?”
“If you have ideas.”
Cheng Xiang smiled. “If ‘First Meeting’ is desire, then ‘Elopement’ in my view is actually purity.”
When speaking of elopement, everyone thought of Hongfu fleeing at night, Wenjun playing the qin5βall romantic and lush associations. But the moment Cheng Xiang saw this prompt, she thought of high school.
The school organized a movie screening in the auditorium. A rare night of character education, watching Titanic to learn grace and composure in the face of death.
Though it was a movie old beyond old, but, you know.
Until a certain classic scene passed, and the boys started shouting: “Why is it the censored version!”
Amidst the commotion, Cheng Xiang caught a glimpse of Tao Tianran quietly leaving her seat.
She thought Tao Tianran was going to the restroom, but saw her walking out alone.
Cheng Xiang thought about it, then followed her out.
Tao Tianran walked all the way around to the back of the auditorium. A row of early bamboo was planted here, emerald green in midsummer. The night breeze brushed past like rustling rain, falling on the nearby steps.
Tao Tianran walked over and sat on the second-to-last step, shaded by bamboo shadows.
Cheng Xiang hesitated, then pulled out her phone and secretly called Qin Ziqiao. “Call me.”
“?” Qin Ziqiao: “Aren’t you already calling me?”
“Oh.” Cheng Xiang felt she was being stupid. “Then pretend to chat with me.”
“Chat about what?”
“Whatever.”
“Your mom’s braised pork elbow is pretty good. I want some.”
“β¦Something romantic.”
“Hah?” Qin Ziqiao thought for a moment. “The moon is so round tonight.”
Cheng Xiang walked behind Tao Tianran, thought about it, and lowered her voice to say into the phone: “Talk later.”
And hung up.
She walked to Tao Tianran’s side. Tao Tianran raised her eyes. Cheng Xiang wrinkled her nose and lifted her lips. “I was going to pretend I accidentally walked here while on the phone, but I decided not to act.”
She asked Tao Tianran, “Why did you come out alone?”
“Mm, to get some air.”
“Is something bothering you?”
“Why do you ask?”
Cheng Xiang hopped down two steps, stood in the bamboo grove’s dirt, squatted down, and hugged her knees while looking up at Tao Tianran, her chin resting on her crossed arms. “I also thought about whether coming out here with you like this would annoy you. But if something really was bothering you and I didn’t ask, I’d regret it.”
Tao Tianran’s cool, thin eyelids always carried a sense of distance.
Cheng Xiang grinned. “And I have selfish motives! If you were really unhappy and I happened to show up, would you be moved by me? Heh heh heh heh.”
“Then is it better if I have something bothering me, or better if I don’t?”
Cheng Xiang paused slightly.
If she had to choose: “Then it’s better if nothing’s bothering you.”
Tao Tianran lightly pressed her chin down. “Mm, nothing’s bothering me.”
Cheng Xiang felt a bit awkward, tugged at her school uniform, and stood up. “Then I’ll go back to the auditorium first.”
Tao Tianran suddenly spoke. “Is it not okay to have nothing bothering me?”
“What?” Cheng Xiang was surprised.
“Nothing bothering me, nothing making me happy, just bored.” Tao Tianran asked. “Is that not okay?”
“It’s not that it’s not okay.” Cheng Xiang squatted down again, lifting her face to look at Tao Tianran.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I always hear you laughing in the classroom during breaks. Once you fought with your friend and even cried.”
“⦔ Cheng Xiang scratched her head. “Very noisy, right?”
“Do you have that many happy things? And that many unhappy things?”
“Uh, for me⦔ Cheng Xiang didn’t even know how to answer.
“Why are you like this?” Tao Tianran asked.
“I don’t know either.” Cheng Xiang blinked. “My mom is like this too, always going on about family matters.”
Tao Tianran lowered her eyes to look at the girl squatting before her.
Her frame was slender, hugging her knees as she squatted like a small plant. Her features were delicate, only her amber eyes unusually large, her lashes fine and thick, fluttering on her eyelids like fuzzy antennae a plant extends to explore the world.
Joyfully excited, or angrily upset. Sunlight and rain, she could feel it all.
Tao Tianran didn’t know what she was thinking either.
Her slender leg stepped down one stair. Under her summer uniform skirt, her porcelain-white ankle bone was revealed. She leaned forward and placed her hand horizontally in front of Cheng Xiang’s eyes.
Cheng Xiang blinked in confusion.
Those thick lashes fluttered against Tao Tianran’s palm lines, fuzzy, indeed like two pairs of lively antennae.
A long time later, when Cheng Xiang had been chasing Tao Tianran all the way to her junior year of college.
Tao Tianran suddenly remembered that moonlit night by the bamboo grove. Then, she said to Cheng Xiang: “I agree.”
Footnotes
- A Chinese internet slang abbreviation for 'Couple Pairing' or 'Character Pairing,' referring to an imagined romantic relationship between two characters. 'Ke CP' means to enthusiastically ship or root for a couple.
- A famous line from Bai Juyi's Tang Dynasty poem 'Song of the Pipa,' describing a woman who holds her pipa (lute) to half-cover her faceβcreating mystery and allure through partial concealment.
- A Chinese BL/GL slang term meaning 'scumbag top'βa dominant partner who is emotionally unavailable, someone who doesn't initiate but doesn't refuse either.
- A style of hot pot pot with two compartments, typically one side spicy and one side non-spicy broth. Named after mandarin ducks, which symbolize devoted couples in Chinese culture because the birds are said to mate for life.
- A reference to Hongfu, a famous courtesan from the Tang Dynasty who eloped with her lover Li Jing at night, and Zhuo Wenjun, a talented woman who eloped with the scholar Sima Xiangru after he played the qin to woo herβboth are classic Chinese examples of romantic elopements.
0 Comments