The Alley Was Always This Long – Chapter 22
by Little PandaHabit
“Go home. I’ll take you.”
[Before I met you,
I couldn’t understand sad love songs.]
Because Tao Tianran hadn’t said anything last night, Cheng Xiang was especially shocked when she was called into Yi Yu’s office early the next morning.
Yi Yu curled her fingers and tapped the desk. “Did you say something impolite to Teacher Tao?”
Cheng Xiang: “…She—she reported me?”
Yi Yu lifted her chin, slanting a glance at Cheng Xiang.
Cheng Xiang scratched her head, then felt the gesture was a bit silly, so she switched to winding a strand of hair around her fingertip instead. “Well, about that…”
Yi Yu grabbed a handful of dZi beads1 from the desk ornament. “What did you say?”
“Hey, don’t play with those—Teacher Tao said they’re expensive, didn’t she?” Cheng Xiang waved her hand, signaling her to put them back. “I said I thought her lip shape was very kissable. Actually, my intention was just an objective description…”
Before she could get out “If Teacher Tao felt harassed, I apologize.”
Yi Yu narrowed her eyes. “Actually, I think so too.”
Cheng Xiang was startled. “Huh?!”
Yi Yu smiled. “That statement, in my book, is an objective description without personal bias.” She shot a glance at Cheng Xiang. “And you?”
Cheng Xiang: “Did Teacher Tao tell you that?”
If Yi Yu nodded, Cheng Xiang didn’t know whether she’d feel a bit happier or a bit sadder.
Instead, Yi Yu let out a “Ha!” and said, “No. I heard you two went out to eat last night, so I was fishing for information.”
Cheng Xiang was startled again. “Why would you fish for information from me?”
Yi Yu yawned. “Because I’m bored. Do you have any idea how lonely it is, being this rich2?”
Cheng Xiang rolled her eyes hard and turned to leave.
So Tao Tianran really hadn’t given any response to what she’d said last night.
Was that tacit acceptance? Or indifference?
Just as Cheng Xiang’s mood grew complicated, Yi Yu called out from behind her. “Wait.”
Cheng Xiang glanced back.
“Let’s go sing together—the whole company.” Yi Yu reached for the dZi beads again, but gave up when she saw Cheng Xiang about to stop her, and instead grabbed a strand of hair to brush against her nose. “Reason?”
“Annual party. New Year is coming up, isn’t it? I’m putting you in charge of organizing.”
“No.”
“Hardship fee: thirty thousand.”
“I’ll do it.”
Cheng Xiang felt she really was a beast of burden person, beast of burden soul3—clearly so wealthy already, yet the moment she heard thirty thousand, her brain still got washed away.
Fortunately, organizing a KTV-themed annual party wasn’t difficult for her.
The time was set for this Friday after work, everyone heading to KTV together.
Cheng Xiang, as Director Ma’s daughter, was very good at organizing things. Just as she was holding a fruit platter and telling the manager that two grapes and a piece of cantaloupe were spoiled, Tao Tianran walked past carrying her handbag.
Glanced at her.
Cheng Xiang’s heart gave a little thump: Was the former Eldest Miss Yu not this good at organizing before?
Ah, never mind. She just got obsessive-compulsive seeing the spoiled grapes and cantaloupe in the fruit platter.
After arguing with the manager and getting a new fruit platter, Cheng Xiang carried it happily toward the private room. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the semi-reflective laser-patterned wall—such a glamorous big-sister type with curly hair and red lips, smiling so foolishly. She heard someone come out of the next room, coughed once, and composed her expression.
But she found herself face-to-face with the person who’d emerged.
“Qin Ziqiao?”
“Yu Yusheng?”
Cheng Xiang had been about to smile, but hearing the name “Yu Yusheng” come from Qin Ziqiao’s mouth, she pressed her lips together.
“What are you doing here?” Cheng Xiang asked.
“Zoo. Department annual party.”
Cheng Xiang thought seriously about which department a capybara would belong to. Probably the rodent department.
“Your department is that rich?” This KTV was pretty expensive—Cheng Xiang had assumed only people like Yi Yu, who had more money than sense, would come here.
“To be precise, I’m rich. I got myself a sugar daddy.”
Cheng Xiang stared at Qin Ziqiao, her mouth slowly forming an “O” shape.
“When did that happen?!”
If Qin Ziqiao hadn’t told her before her car accident, she would’ve been furious!
“Oh, more precisely, my capybara got adopted. For a year—pretty generous amount.”
Cheng Xiang shouted at her: “That’s called sponsorship! Sponsorship!”
“Same difference.” Qin Ziqiao shoved her hands in her pockets.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom. The one in our room is broken, so we got a discount.”
“…Bye then.”
“Bye.”
Cheng Xiang returned to the private room. Tao Tianran sat in the corner, typing on her phone.
Cheng Xiang sat down next to her. “This light is so dim, it’s bad for your eyes.”
“Mm.” Tao Tianran finished typing the last line, then looked up, tucking her phone back in her pocket.
Cheng Xiang had never gone to KTV with Tao Tianran before.
The reason was simple: her singing was average.
Not bad, exactly—just average. But even if it was only average, she didn’t want to perform in front of Tao Tianran.
“Shianne, want to play dice?”
“Sure.” Cheng Xiang sat over. Her body carried an innate allure—when she leaned forward, her waist was soft, one hand supporting her cheek, thick long curls falling loose, her heavily made-up face like a flower’s shadow reflected in light.
A colleague quietly said to her: “Later, get the Big Boss to drink more.”
“Why?”
“When she gets drunk, she jumps on the coffee table and throws money while singing Love Until Death4.”
Cheng Xiang burst out laughing.
She glanced at Tao Tianran from the corner of her eye, guessing that Tao Tianran wouldn’t sing at a KTV anyway. Looking now, sure enough—she just sat in the corner seat, arms crossed, the screen’s blue light reflecting on her cold, pale face.
Like stories flowing across her face, and merely flowing.
When Yi Yu came in, the others were already drunk, and Yi Yu seemed a bit happy too. “This lively, huh?”
“Boss, come drink.”
At first it was normal toasting, but eventually they were coming up with reasons like “wishing this KTV business prosperity.”
Cheng Xiang thought: You’re not the owner of this KTV, why are you toasting it?
But Yi Yu said nothing, laughing and accepting everything.
By the end she was laying out tissues on the coffee table, mumbling something, hunched over the table edge, practically cross-eyed from focus.
Cheng Xiang was confused. “What’s she doing?”
Colleague: “Aligning the corners of every tissue so there are no gaps.”
“Why?”
“You’ll find out.”
When Yi Yu finally finished aligning the tissues, she kicked off her boots and stepped onto the coffee table, the ball of her foot landing precisely on the tissues.
“…” Cheng Xiang praised her: “Pretty civilized.”
“Of course.” The colleague nodded approvingly.
“New Year is almost here! Friends in the back row, sing with me!” Yi Yu stretched out her arms.
Cheng Xiang turned around: What friends in the back row? The private room was only this big, and they were all sitting in one row.
Yi Yu started howling along with the screen: “Love until death—!”
Cheng Xiang listened with some amusement.
She didn’t go to KTV with Tao Tianran, but she went often with Qin Ziqiao. Qin Ziqiao used to always drag her into singing this song, dominating the charts—”Love Until Death.”
As she listened, Cheng Xiang felt something wasn’t right. An “eh” sounded in her heart—
Had she sung this too much with Qin Ziqiao before?
Now wasn’t she literally “love until death”? Even as a ghost, she wouldn’t let Tao Tianran off.
She took a shallow breath, suddenly feeling her chest tighten, and stood up.
A colleague called out: “Hey, where are you going? The Boss is about to start throwing money.”
Cheng Xiang smiled. “You guys play first, I need some air.”
Walking out of the private room, she paused, seeing Qin Ziqiao leaning against the laser-patterned wall across the way, listening to the “Love Until Death” coming from their room, lost in thought.
Cheng Xiang walked over, hands behind her back, leaning against the wall opposite her.
Qin Ziqiao glanced at her, lowering her chin in greeting.
Cheng Xiang suddenly said: “I’ll buy you another bag.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
Cheng Xiang listened to the lyrics coming from the room for a moment, then quirked her lips. “I just… want you to be happier. Or I could buy you an apartment, that works too.”
Qin Ziqiao was silent for a moment.
“Sorry.” She straightened up. “I’m not in the mood for jokes tonight.”
She walked toward her own private room.
“Qin Ziqiao.”
Qin Ziqiao looked back.
Cheng Xiang grinned, showing two rows of white teeth.
“Can you not smile like that?” Qin Ziqiao looked at her. “You look so glamorous, but that smile is so silly—it doesn’t fit.”
“I just wanted to tell you—” Cheng Xiang stood up straight too, looking at her earnestly. “I was afraid the firecrackers on New Year’s Day would be too loud…”
Qin Ziqiao managed a small smile.
Cheng Xiang smiled too. “Nothing special. Just wanted to say—happy New Year, Qin Ziqiao.”
Qin Ziqiao nodded, lowered her eyes, stared at the black crystal floor for two seconds, then ducked into the private room.
Cheng Xiang remained alone, leaning against the wall, looking at the spotlights in the corridor.
The private room door was pushed open again—from the Kunpu company’s room.
Out walked Tao Tianran.
Tao Tianran glanced at Cheng Xiang, took two steps forward, stopped, reached out to brace against the side wall, then leaned her back against it, closing her eyes, letting out a held breath.
Her cold, thin eyelids flushed faint pink. Because her skin was so pale it carried a slightly blue undertone, that touch of rouge-colored pink looked almost sickly.
Cheng Xiang spoke: “Did Teacher Tao drink too much?”
Tao Tianran still had her eyes closed. She parted her lips. “I’m fine.”
Cheng Xiang smiled mockingly.
She said she’s fine herself, so why is she worrying?
But the corridor was only this wide, and both of them stood with their backs to the wall, not speaking, like two door gods—especially Tao Tianran with that cold face.
Cheng Xiang couldn’t say whether she was an I-type or E-type5. When someone else was working the crowd, she could shrink to the side and play the introvert. But if no one was, she felt obligated to heat up the atmosphere.
So she made conversation where there was none: “Does Teacher Tao like malatang?”
“No.”
Cheng Xiang was startled.
“The place I took you to wasn’t good?”
“No.” Tao Tianran’s pale face was half-lit by the corridor spotlights. “I just don’t like it.”
This so-called high-end KTV was a total rip-off, honestly, because the private rooms weren’t soundproofed at all.
After Yi Yu finished howling “Love Until Death,” apparently everyone had gone to flatter the money god, and with no one holding the mic, the system cut to the original vocals and auto-played the next song.
A female singer’s slightly dark, rich voice came through:
“I should have loved you, held your hand tight,
I should have held you, never let you go,
I should have kissed you gently, never let you say wrong,
I should have kept my promise to you tight,
I should have cherished moments while still young,
I should have caught each glance that lingered long…”
This female singer had a few big hits, but most of her songs were artsy and niche, so Cheng Xiang had never heard this one.
Now she opened her eyes to look at Tao Tianran across the corridor.
So thin. Even her shadow cast on the wall looked thin, her brow slightly furrowed.
Cheng Xiang’s lips moved, lightly pressing together, then closing again. But she saw Tao Tianran suddenly start walking toward the bathroom.
Cheng Xiang stood for two more seconds, then followed.
People from other private rooms were in the corridor raising glasses and loudly toasting “Happy New Year!” But in Cheng Xiang’s ears lingered the aftertaste of that female singer’s slightly dark voice:
“It must have been the urge to overturn,
all the old anxieties of the past,
that made me use you as excuse,
to reset my life and start again, start again…”
Before Cheng Xiang’s eyes was the black crystal bathroom door, still swaying slightly from Tao Tianran’s hurried push, like a lonely swing without an owner.
Cheng Xiang waited outside. When someone else came looking for the bathroom, she politely said: “Sorry, someone’s inside. Could you use the one on the other side of the corridor?”
Only after the sound of flushing came from inside did Cheng Xiang push the door open.
Tao Tianran had apparently rinsed her mouth. A drop of water hung from her clean, thin chin. She didn’t look disheveled at all—still calm and composed, just the tail of her eyes slightly reddened from the physical act of vomiting.
She could still explain to Cheng Xiang: “I didn’t drink too much. My stomach’s just been uncomfortable lately.”
“I know.” Cheng Xiang lowered her chin, back against the door, watching Tao Tianran in the mirror as she rinsed her hands, long black hair hiding her thin face.
People celebrating the New Year crowded the corridor, making the bathroom feel even quieter, with only the hum of the hand dryer Tao Tianran was using.
Cheng Xiang slowly exhaled.
She hadn’t drunk much tonight, but the alcohol smell from Tao Tianran’s body had transferred to hers—she could count that as a moment of intoxication.
She could count it as Tao Tianran not liking malatang but going to eat it many times for her sake.
She could count it as Tao Tianran just now, eyes closed, listening to an entire love song.
“Tao Tianran.”
Tao Tianran looked back, her clear dark eyes meeting Cheng Xiang’s amber ones.
Cheng Xiang slowly blinked. “Happy New Year.”
Once, I thought I’d never have the chance to say this again.
Once, I thought I’d only have the chance to say this silently.
Tao Tianran didn’t respond, just pushed the door open and left.
Cheng Xiang followed her. “Where are you going?”
“Back to the room.”
“What do you mean, back?” Cheng Xiang said. “Go home.”
Tao Tianran walked on as if she hadn’t heard.
Until Cheng Xiang grabbed her thin wrist, her voice suppressing her anger: “I said, go home.”
Tao Tianran’s lashes weren’t thick, just fine, which made her gaze always seem distant. Now she lifted her eyes to look at Cheng Xiang, her thin lips moving slightly, but in the end she didn’t say “no.”
Cheng Xiang walked toward the private room. “Don’t go back in. People are smoking in there. I’ll get your bag and coat for you.”
So Tao Tianran stood outside in the corridor.
When Cheng Xiang came out carrying that Bolide, she saw Tao Tianran had returned to her earlier posture. Leaning against the laser-patterned wall, the back of her head pressed against it, chin slightly raised, eyes closed, thin as a shadow on the wall.
Very precarious.
Cheng Xiang pressed her lips together and walked over. “Your bag, and your coat.”
Tao Tianran opened her eyes. “Thanks.” She reached out to take them.
Cheng Xiang: “Did you call a designated driver?”
Tao Tianran pulled out her phone and tapped. “Mm, I did. I’ll go first then.”
Cheng Xiang: “Go ahead, I’ll tell the Big Boss for you.”
Tao Tianran turned to leave.
The door of the private room next to her was pushed open, a drunken woman walked out, and half a minute later a young man followed, first glancing at Tao Tianran walking ahead, then putting a hand on the drunken woman’s shoulder.
A very greasy posture. It looked like just a light touch, but his fingertips were probing into the woman’s neck hollow.
Cheng Xiang stood there, frowning slightly, and walked over, first patting the man’s shoulder.
The man looked back, eyes showing amazement. But Cheng Xiang looked straight at the woman’s face. “Are you close with him?”
The woman opened her drunken eyes. “He’s my boyfriend.”
The man now realized Cheng Xiang was here to meddle, and sneered. “Looking for trouble? What if we’re not close?”
“If you’re not, I’m calling the police. Also—” Cheng Xiang lifted her ankle, staring at the man’s most vulnerable spot. “I’m wearing eight-centimeter heels.”
The man was frozen for a moment, and by then Cheng Xiang had already turned toward the private room. Soon the room’s unsteady door was pushed open again, and when Cheng Xiang walked out with big strides, passing the man, she shot him another glare.
Tao Tianran only felt hurried footsteps behind her, and before she could react, her thin wrist was being held.
She looked back to see Cheng Xiang’s expressionless face.
Cheng Xiang only held her wrist for a moment before letting go, wearing exactly that expression as she said: “I’ll take you home.”
She walked quickly at Tao Tianran’s side, even half a step ahead.
Walking out of the KTV, the deep winter’s cold wind rushed at them, her long coat lifting in the breeze.
Reaching the roadside, she turned to ask Tao Tianran: “How long until the designated driver arrives?”
Tao Tianran checked her phone. “Ten minutes.”
Cheng Xiang nodded, walked to a wind-sheltered corner, pulled out a cigarette from her handbag, lowered her head, struck the flint, and lit it.
Facing the night, she slowly exhaled smoke. A pair of amber cat-pupils gazed into the darkness, thinking about something.
Tao Tianran thought about the past “Yu Yusheng.”
With that kind of devastatingly beautiful cat-like face, she always seemed to smile with languid charm.
In her memory, she didn’t seem to have this kind of expressionless moment.
Actually, Cheng Xiang wasn’t thinking about anything.
Cheng Xiang just felt very annoyed.
In her past life she had terrible alcohol tolerance and couldn’t smoke. Now that she’d transmigrated into Yu Yusheng, who could do both, she finally understood why these two things were adult addictions.
Too many emotions that couldn’t be put into words—smoke curling through the lungs once, alcohol burning through the stomach once.
What the heart couldn’t bear, other organs took on.
If “Happy New Year” could be counted as something blurted out under the influence of alcohol, then what did her coming all this way to see Tao Tianran off count as? Was it really the Neighborhood Committee Director’s daughter’s blood acting up—why was she worrying about other people’s business?
She cast a distant glance at Tao Tianran standing by the road with her cold, pale face.
Gradually realizing: Getting close to Tao Tianran was truly an incredibly dangerous thing.
The designated driver’s folding electric bike stopped in front of Tao Tianran. Cheng Xiang snubbed out her cigarette and walked over, watching Tao Tianran hand over her car keys for the driver to take the car.
Smelling the smoke on Cheng Xiang, she frowned imperceptibly.
Cheng Xiang waved her hand.
“It’s nothing.” Tao Tianran said. “Just not used to it.”
“Why aren’t you used to it?” Cheng Xiang smiled lazily again.
Tao Tianran didn’t respond.
Cheng Xiang stood beside her, her heels lightly scraping against the curb. Now in these heels, she was finally at eye level with Tao Tianran, no longer needing to look up at that nearly flawless face, remembering how Tao Tianran always used to lower her head slightly when kissing her.
She stood by the road, looking levelly at the cold night, thinking: Tao Tianran isn’t used to cigarette smoke—is it because people who got close to her before never smoked?
Xiao Xiang never smoked.
The glacier-white Bentley drove out of the underground garage. Cheng Xiang pulled open the rear door for Tao Tianran. “Get in.”
She herself sat in the passenger seat.
Not wanting to think about Tao Tianran leaning back there with her slightly frowning pale face, she just chatted with the driver: “Yo, when did they build this mall? Looks a bit like the Big Underpants—no, the Little Underpants.”
Beicheng drivers could really chat, immediately picking up: “Yo miss, looking at your vibe, you just came back from abroad, right? This mall’s been here a year already, pretty popular. There’s this Mexican place, what’s it called…”
Cheng Xiang paused slightly.
She smiled, nodded. “Ah yes, I just came back from abroad not long ago.”
“Yo, so were you studying or working abroad?…”
Cheng Xiang split half her attention to watch the “Little Underpants” already passing by outside the window.
Not because she’d been abroad.
But because she was already… dead.
A year after her time had stopped, the world was moving forward, people were moving forward.
The moment she thought about Tao Tianran walking among those moving-forward people too, leaving her alone on a snow-covered crosswalk, Cheng Xiang’s heart felt like it was being gripped and twisted by a large hand.
Could Tao Tianran like someone else?
Could Tao Tianran devotedly like someone else?
If that person was more beautiful than her, more mature than her, more talented than her—could the ice field she’d never managed to crack, possibly melt for them?
Just thinking about this, Cheng Xiang’s heart was already cramping.
After getting out, she stood to the side, didn’t open the door for Tao Tianran, just watched Tao Tianran push the door open from the back and settle with the designated driver. The two walked through the residential complex together, and Cheng Xiang stopped in front of the stacked villa. “You go in. I’m leaving.”
Tao Tianran still said: “Thanks.”
Cheng Xiang lifted her eyes, looking at her thin face, lit by the residential complex’s old-moon-like streetlamp, her fine and not-thick lashes drooping with some lack of spirit. “What are you looking at me for?”
“Nothing.” Cheng Xiang turned her head away.
After she went upstairs, Cheng Xiang thought for a moment, pulled out her phone, and tapped a few times.
Then she leaned against the black cast-iron streetlamp, lost in thought, lifting her head to look at the light above.
When the delivery arrived, she straightened up. “Thanks.”
Carrying the paper bag upstairs, she pressed the doorbell.
The sound of slippers.
Tao Tianran checked the monitor first, then pushed open the door.
Cheng Xiang seemed to be competing with her for who could look more indifferent, raising her hand. “Stomach medicine.”
Tao Tianran was slightly surprised. “Thanks.”
She was already wrapped in a thick bathrobe, hadn’t bathed yet, just her long hair looking less neatly styled than usual. Her makeup was off, and without foundation to cover them, the two small black moles at the corner of her eye looked even more vivid.
Beauty wasn’t frightening. What was frightening was the beauty hidden behind thick layers of ice, revealing nothing.
Cheng Xiang couldn’t help asking: “Did you order stomach medicine yourself?”
“No.”
“Why?” Cheng Xiang’s tone was harsh. “Because you’re used to it?”
“Used to what?”
“Never mind.” Cheng Xiang had already turned to leave, one hand slightly clenching her handbag.
Because you’re already used to someone revolving around you like a satellite.
Tao Tianran, if you’re going to move forward, shouldn’t you first understand that this person is gone?
Cheng Xiang hurried through this residential complex almost at a run, her hands trembling.
She finally recognized more clearly: the danger wasn’t in getting close to Tao Tianran.
Tao Tianran herself was the danger. Whether or not she stepped into the trap, it was an abyss.
So the next day, when Cheng Xiang was called into Yi Yu’s office, and Yi Yu asked: “Want to come with me to Thailand for a business trip? Six months.”
Cheng Xiang thought for a moment. “Okay.”
Yi Yu was actually startled. “You haven’t even negotiated the travel allowance with me.”
“You’re so generous, you wouldn’t shortchange your employees, right?”
“Twenty yuan per day subsidy.”
“How much?” Cheng Xiang suspected she’d heard wrong. “Twenty euros?”
That wasn’t much either.
Yi Yu waggled her finger. “RMB.”
Cheng Xiang exploded: “You’re someone who can randomly give me thirty thousand for a proposal!”
Yi Yu crossed one leg, leaning back in her CEO chair with a wickedly rakish smile6. “That’s how I show my evil capitalist face, isn’t it? I don’t run a company for anything else—the joy is in battling with people~”
She even added a little trill at the end.
Cheng Xiang grit her teeth: “Fine, I’ll go with you. After New Year, right?”
“Second day of New Year.”
Cheng Xiang paused, nodded. “Fine.”
Yi Yu raised an eyebrow. “You’re not afraid we’ll get trafficked into some scam operation?”
Cheng Xiang was confused, lifting a hand to rub the little knot forming between her brows. “Don’t you need some qualifications for that? You? Me? Are we suited for that?”
Yi Yu laughed heartily, playing with the pen on her desk, shooting Cheng Xiang a meaningful glance. “Alright, come with me then. Don’t worry—I’ll protect you.”
Footnotes
- DZi beads (tiānzhū) are Tibetan prayer beads considered sacred in Tibetan Buddhism. They are typically etched with patterns and are believed to bring protection and good fortune.
- 'Lonely as snow' (jìmò rú xuě) is a poetic phrase often used ironically or hyperbolically to describe someone with too much money or success but no meaningful connections.
- A variation of the 'beasts of burden' (niúmǎ) slang, meaning someone who works like a slave for money. The phrase plays on the pattern 'X person, X soul' common in Chinese internet humor.
- 'Love Until Death' (Sǐle dōu yào ài) is a famous 2002 rock ballad by the Taiwanese band Shin. Known for its passionate, desperate lyrics about loving beyond death, it's a KTV staple for dramatic performances.
- Chinese internet slang derived from the MBTI personality test. 'I rén' (I-type) refers to introverts, while 'E rén' (E-type) refers to extroverts. Cheng Xiang is saying her personality shifts depending on context.
- 'Wickedly rakish' (xié mèi kuáng juān) is a popular internet slang term describing a character archetype—arrogant, wild, unconventional, and charming in a slightly villainous way. Often used ironically for over-the-top 'cool' behavior.
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