The Alley Was Always This Long – Chapter 48
by Little PandaCheng Xiang Thinks
Why don’t the two of you just get together.
[If one day I miss you,
I will make a 23-second phone call to you.
To let you hear my 22 seconds of silence, and 1 second of my heartbeat.]
Cheng Xiang lay on the floor, slowly opening her eyes.
When she realized she had fainted again, her first reaction was to curse under her breath and spring up: she was still simmering porridge on the stove! If the clay pot boiled dry and caused a gas leak, what then?
But as she bolted upright, she noticed at a glanceโthe fire under the stove was already off.
The simmered clay-pot porridge was sitting on the countertop nearby. It did not look particularly appetizingโthe bottom had scorched earlier, after allโbut right now, it still seemed edible.
It hadn’t been overcooked too much.
Cheng Xiang looked down at her hands.
Had she turned off the fire? Had she moved the clay pot to the side?
It shouldn’t be.
Her phone rang. Cheng Xiang glanced at the screen; it was Qiao Zhiji calling.
“Hello, President Qiao.”
“Did you just call me?”
Cheng Xiang was taken aback. “No, I didn’t.”
“You called me. It went through, but you didn’t say anything.”
Cheng Xiang’s heart skipped a beat.
“Wait, don’t hang up yet.”
She swiped out of the call screen and checked. Sure enough, there was an outgoing call to Qiao Zhiji just now, showing a duration of 23 seconds.
Cheng Xiang pursed her lips slightly.
She picked up the phone, bringing it back to her lips. “Yes, I just checked my call history. It seems I forgot to lock my screen and dialed you by mistake.”
“Nothing’s wrong?”
“No, nothing.”
Qiao Zhiji hung up.
Cheng Xiang put her phone away. Supporting herself against the counter with one hand, she stood in contemplation for a moment. With her other hand, she reflexively picked up a porcelain spoon, scooped up a spoonful of porridge, and fed it into her mouth.
“Ah, hot, hot, hot, hotโฆ” Cheng Xiang bit the tip of her tongue.
She set down the porcelain spoon and sat back down by the edge of the sofa, pulling a throw pillow into her arms and starting to bite her nails again.
This call had clearly not been made by her.
By all accounts, she should have found it hair-raising. Yet right now, she only wanted to laughโHahaha, I really am the female lead of a transmigration story! To think there’s such a complex plot waiting in the sequel!
She was losing her mind.
Since the call was to Qiao Zhiji, it was obvious that the soul occupying this body just now was Yu Yusheng.
Biting her nails, Cheng Xiang reconfirmed one thing: Yu Yusheng wanted to regain control of this body.
Yu Yusheng had once taken sleeping pills, actively choosing to give up; the shift in her thoughts now had likely begun the moment she saw Qiao Zhiji.
Cheng Xiang bit her nails and thought: Just now, without even thinking, I lied to Qiao Zhiji.
She had made no attempt to hint to Qiao Zhiji that the call had actually come from Yu Yusheng.
Based on these few fainting episodes, she had discovered that as long as her own soul remained inside this body, Yu Yusheng could not achieve full control over it.
Even when Yu Yusheng exerted all her strength to make a call to Qiao Zhiji, it only stayed as a silent 23 seconds.
She could not speak to Qiao Zhiji.
Just as Cheng Xiang could never speak aloud the truth that she was Cheng Xiang.
Cheng Xiang stopped biting her nails and looked down. She had gnawed a tiny chip into one of them. After a brief pause, she went back to biting.
She realized her instinct to lie to Qiao Zhiji was because she had realized one thing:
If Yu Yusheng’s soul wanted to return to this body, it meant her own soul had to leave this body first.
But she had been in a major car accident, and her body was long since destroyed.
If her soul left Yu Yusheng’s body, where would she go?
She had only been able to transmigrate into this body because she happened to share many moments of spiritual resonance with Yu Yusheng; it wasn’t as if she could just casually transmigrate into another body.
Thenโฆ
She gave up on her nails, tossed the throw pillow aside, and dragged her laptop onto her lap, flipping it open.
In the search bar, she typed a few words: “How long can a soul exist in the world after losing its physical body?”
Ha, she wanted to laugh again. As an excellent youth who had grown up under materialist values, what on earth was she searching for?
According to the older generation, a soul would be finished after wandering for seven days.
But clearly that wasn’t the case, because she had wandered the human world for a year before transmigrating into Yu Yusheng’s body.
Spirits that still harbored lingering attachments to the world could clearly endure longer. If she had to explain it scientifically, it was probably because their electromagnetic fields were stronger.
She scrolled back through page after page until, on a somewhat occult-themed forum, she found a reply from a netizen: 777 days1.
Isโฆ is that actually true?
But by that logic, Yu Yusheng’s soul wouldn’t be able to drift for much longer either. Wouldn’t she eventually be done for too?
But there was no need to panic; the netizen seemed to be a total quack. Another user had complained of high blood pressure, and this “doctor” had told them to stop taking their medication. Instead, every morning at seven o’clock, they were to face the rising sun, assume a frog-leap stance, gather their qi, and bellow three times from their lower abdomen:
“Heh!”
“Heh!”
“Hehโ!”
Supposedly, it cured all ailments.
Cheng Xiang: โฆ
It was obviously pure nonsense! If so, his rubbish claim about the 777 days was definitely fake too!
Cheng Xiang set the laptop aside and pulled the throw pillow back into her arms. She didn’t bite her nails this time, choosing instead to stare blankly into space.
She was starting to doubt herself a little.
Ever since she was young, Director Ma had always said of her, “My daughter might not be exceptionally smart, but she has one saving graceโshe has a good heart.”
She had once wept inconsolably over accidentally stepping on an ant.
Even when earning a meager wage in an office building that constantly smelled of stir-fried pork with green peppers, she had persistently bought cat food to feed the neighborhood strays.
Of course, helping elderly ladies cross the street when she was a child didn’t count; she had only done that to write about it in her school essays.
In short, she had always thought she had a pretty good heart.
But when she discovered Yu Yusheng was starting to vie for control over this body, she still subconsciously chose to hide it.
Holding the pillow close, she looked around.
Everything within her line of sight was familiar: the television, the TV console, the coffee table, the White Rabbit flavor potato chips sitting on it, and the tissue box, where she had torn a single sheet in half because she only needed to wipe her mouth and felt using a whole one was wasteful.
In a very soft voice, she said, “Um, sorry.”
There was no tree in the room, and Yu Yusheng had no way to make the leaves rustle, so she didn’t know if Yu Yusheng had heard her.
She continued, “Don’t rush. Just let me think about it.”
Cheng Xiang figured that if all else failed, she would fly to Thailand again to look for that medium who could sense the Sharingan.
The next day, Yi Yu called Cheng Xiang. “Have you gone to see Teacher Tao-mei?”
“Teacher Tao’sโฆ sister?”
“That’s Dongbei dialect! I meant, ‘Have you gone to see Teacher Tao yet?’ I recently took on a client from Dongbei named Ding. Rich, super rich. She grows hazel mushrooms across an entire mountain and even raises silly roe deer. Hey, do you know what a silly roe deer isโ”
“Stop, just stop.” Cheng Xiang got a headache whenever Yi Yu started talking. This was the first time she had ever met someone more talkative than herself.
“Oh. Well, I was just asking if you went to visit.”
“I went.”
“How is she?”
“Still breathing.”
“Hey, how can you say that!” Yi Yu thought about it. “How about you come over and chat with me? I won’t even charge you.”
“Not going.”
“I’ll pay you instead, how about that? Thirty thousand.”
Cheng Xiang thought about it. Staying home alone was miserable anyway, so she told Yi Yu, “Send me the address.”
“Sure. Buy me a bag of sunflower seeds when you comeโpecan-flavored. I’ve been eating too many apples lately, so my mouth feels a bit tasteless.”
She hung up. When she looked at the address, she realized it looked incredibly familiarโ
Oh, look at that. She’s still at Qin Ziqiao’s place!
When Cheng Xiang came to the door and Yi Yu opened it, Cheng Xiang stood there with her eyebrows raised, pulling a completely sour face.
Yi Yu asked, “What exactly are you so displeased about? I’m a shou, you know.”
Cheng Xiang couldn’t quite say what she was so displeased about either.
Perhaps it was because Yi Yu and Qin Ziqiao shared a purely physical relationship?
It wasn’t that Cheng Xiang was particularly conservative; she fully supported a woman’s right to pursue casual physical pleasure. But this was Qin Ziqiao.
The incredibly introverted Qin Ziqiao, whom she had played with ever since they were toddlers wearing split-crotch pants.
The Qin Ziqiao who had such a cool, stoic face, yet would secretly cry when the scallions she grew on her balcony withered and died.
The Qin Ziqiao who had walked alongside her through her first love and eventual breakup.
Qin Ziqiao poked her head out, wearing another Bulbasaur onesie2. “You’re here.”
Yi Yu asked, “Did you bring my pecan-flavored sunflower seeds?”
“No. They only had caramel flavor. Take it or leave it.” Cheng Xiang tossed the bag of sunflower seeds into Yi Yu’s arms, slipped into her slippers, and walked inside.
Yi Yu squeezed the bag, trailing behind her. “How could they possibly be out of pecan? You just wanted this flavor yourself, so you bought it, didn’t you?”
The three of them sat around the coffee table. Yi Yu was putting on a whole performance, brewing a pot of Shoumei tea in the purple clay teapot she had brought with her.
Cheng Xiang glanced at it. “That teapot of yours isn’t some antique, is it?”
“A Qing dynasty enamel blessings and longevity purple clay teapot3. I noticed it was just sitting on my display shelf gathering dust, which felt like such a waste, so I decided to bring it down to brew tea.”
Cheng Xiang nearly spat out her mouthful of tea.
Tearing the seed packet open, Yi Yu cracked a shell between her teeth and asked, “So what’s the deal? You went to visit Teacher Tao while she was sick, and you came back radiating this much resentment?”
Cheng Xiang felt Qin Ziqiao quietly glance at her.
Qin Ziqiao had never told Yi Yu that she and Cheng Xiang were childhood friends. Naturally, Yi Yu had no idea that Tao Tianran was her childhood friend’s ex-girlfriend.
“It has nothing to do with her,” Cheng Xiang said.
“Then what does it have to do with?”
Cheng Xiang weighed her words before asking Yi Yu, “Do you think you’re a good person?”
Yi Yu let out a loud, incredulous laugh. “I throw thirty thousand yuan at you at the drop of a hat, and I literally showered everyone with cash while singing \”Love Until Death\” at our annual company party. You tell meโam I a good person or what?”
Cheng Xiang rolled her eyes at her.
This conversation was going nowhere.
Yi Yu tapped her finger on the tabletop. “Be specific. What do you mean by \”good person\”?”
Cheng Xiang considered it. “Likeโฆ not being so selfish, I guess.”
“Who isn’t selfish?” Yi Yu grabbed another handful of seeds. “By that metric, there isn’t a single good person on earth.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me use business as an analogy. If we’re working on a deal where you make money and I make moneyโa win-win situationโthen whether I make a little more or less doesn’t matter much to me. I can afford to be unselfish. But if my company is on the brink of bankruptcy and losing this deal means we go under, leaving us in a life-or-death scenarioโฆ do you really think I can still afford to be selfless?”
Cheng Xiang fell silent.
Yi Yu snapped her fingers in front of her face. “Why are you suddenly pondering deep philosophical questions, sister? Don’t tell me you’ve just been too idle at home without a job. Why don’t you come back to the company? I’ll double the workload, half the pay4. See how good I am to you?”
Cheng Xiang was about to agree when she thought about it carefullyโ
Double the workload, half the pay?
She immediately glared at Yi Yu. These damn capitalists!
Yi Yu rose to her feet, laughing uproariously. “Feeling a bit better after chatting with me? I have to go discuss business with Sister Ding from Dongbei now. You stay and chat with Ziqiao for a bit.”
She went into the bedroom to change, grabbed her overcoat, and prepared to leave. Before stepping out, she pointed a finger mockingly at Cheng Xiang. “Honestly, the two of you never let me catch a break.”
What “the two of you”? One was Cheng Xiang, and the other was Tao Tianran.
Once Yi Yu left, the small space suddenly fell quiet.
Cheng Xiang grabbed a handful of sunflower seeds. Instead of cracking them, she just tossed them around in her hand.
Qin Ziqiao finally spoke. “Youโฆ aren’t actually involved with Tao Tianran, are you?”
Cheng Xiang shook her head immediately. “No. She’sโฆ that kind of person.”
Qin Ziqiao nodded. “Yeah, that kind of person.”
What kind of person? Someone who turns back, harboring regrets.
And who isn’t harboring regrets?
Cheng Xiang swept up the seeds scattered on the table. Unwilling to dwell on the subject, she redirected the conversation. “And you and the Big Bossโฆ what’s the deal there?”
Qin Ziqiao shrugged. “No different from before.”
“Then do youโฆ” Cheng Xiang hesitated for a moment before biting the bullet. “Do you like her?”
Qin Ziqiao sat perfectly still for two seconds. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she suddenly let out a soft laugh. “What is there to say about liking someone or not?”
“Huh?”
“Is there any point in liking someone?” Qin Ziqiao stared at Cheng Xiang.
“Are you asking me?”
“It’s useless.” Qin Ziqiao shook her head. “Cheng Xiang, my best friendโthe one you said you also know. She was a fool. She once liked someone so, so deeply, but there was no outcome.”
Cheng Xiang’s heart suddenly grew heavy with sorrow.
She had never thought that her situation with Tao Tianran would affect Qin Ziqiao’s view on relationships as well.
“What does it matter if I like her? She’s that kind of person too.” Qin Ziqiao tightly clenched a handful of seeds. “I don’t like things that don’t have an outcome. If I raise a capybara, I want it to get fat. If I grow green onions, I want them to sprout. Even when I read doomsday novels, I only choose completed ones, and I never read unfinished ones because I’m terrified the author will leave it unfinished.”
Cheng Xiang instinctively leaned away slightly.
“What are you doing?” Qin Ziqiao asked.
“I feel like you’re getting a bit angry, so I’m worried you’ll throw the seeds at me.”
Qin Ziqiao silently let go of the seeds she was holding. “Why even talk about feelings? People who do things that don’t have any outcome are all big dummies.”
Coming out of Qin Ziqiao’s home, Cheng Xiang stood by the road waiting for a taxi, when she suddenly started chuckling.
An auntie carrying a bundle of Chinese cabbage walked past her and gave her a strange look.
She was laughing because Qin Ziqiao was right: anyone who gets involved with feelings is just like a fool.
She was one. Yu Yusheng was another.
Is it absolutely necessary to have these feelings?
Cheng Xiang caught a cab home. To her surprise, she ran into someone right outside her residential compound.
Qiao Zhiji was standing there.
Keeping her composure, Cheng Xiang walked up to her. “President Qiao, looking for me? Why didn’t you call first?”
“I did. You didn’t answer.”
“Oh.” Cheng Xiang feigned ignorance. “I was at a friend’s place just now and didn’t notice my phone.”
Qiao Zhiji glanced at the time. “It’s still early. Shall we grab a coffee?”
Cheng Xiang knew there was no escaping this. “Sure.”
The two of them walked into the cafe next to the neighborhood.
Cheng Xiang glanced at the menu: a single cup cost forty or fifty yuan, but at least she knew exactly what she was ordering. There were no bizarre concoctions like ใMidsummer Melancholyใ or ใPineapple Happinessใ on the board.
They didn’t serve Affogato here, so Cheng Xiang ordered a caramel macchiato.
Qiao Zhiji ordered an Americano.
Cheng Xiang stole a glance. What, was an Americano the standard package for elite career women? How could she just never get used to drinking it?
Qiao Zhiji pulled out her phone, tapped the screen twice, and slid it across the table toward Cheng Xiang.
Cheng Xiang lowered her eyelashes and glanced at it.
What Qiao Zhiji had brought up was the record of their silent call: 23 seconds.
Qiao Zhiji asked, “This callโฆ it wasn’t made by you, was it?”
Cheng Xiang’s lips pursed in a very subtle way.
She looked up with a smile. “If it wasn’t me, who else could it have been?”
A long silence ensued.
Qiao Zhiji took a sip of her coffee and set it back down. Her finger wiped the half-circle of water that had condensed from the bottom of the iced Americano glass.
She was truly an exceptionally mature woman. Her aloof composure masked the natural softness of her features, allowing her to face the world with poise. The defenseless country girl she once was had grown into someone whom no one could ever hurt again.
Yet her finger wiped the water stain again, rubbing it hard against the table. When she raised her eyes to meet Cheng Xiang’s, they finally betrayed a hint of helplessness: “You have a way, don’t you?”
“Can youโฆ can you bring her back?”
The anger in Cheng Xiang’s heart flared up instantly.
What on earth had she done to deserve any of this?
She had gone out to buy a bowl of liangpi and got hit by a truck and died. She had loved someone, but that person waited until she was dead to say she loved her. She had transmigrated into a body, and it was clearly that person who had given up on their own lifeโso why did she have to give up this body just because that person had now changed her mind?
To put it harshly, Yu Yusheng was the one who chose to give up. The world isn’t any gentler to one person than another, so why should she be given a chance to start over?
Cheng Xiang stood straight up and shook her head. “I don’t have a way. I don’t have any way at all.”
She walked quickly out of the cafe.
Qiao Zhiji didn’t chase after her. When Cheng Xiang pushed open the glass door to step out, she glanced back.
Qiao Zhiji’s figure sitting in the distance looked just as thin and fragile as Tao Tianran’s. The dim yellow light from the rusted faux-iron lampshade fell over half of her body.
She raised her hand again to wipe the water mark from the iced Americano on the table, lowering her head.
After returning home, Cheng Xiang paced around the apartment a couple of times as if her butt were on fire.
She had originally felt a pang of guilt over lying to Qiao Zhiji.
But now, she was extremely irritated. What right did Qiao Zhiji have to say that to her? This was fate, not a game of Monopoly where passing a turn didn’t matter.
She curled up one leg and plopped onto the edge of the sofa, thinking that Yi Yu’s words were right after all.
Who isn’t selfish?
She looked down at her phone; Qiao Zhiji hadn’t followed up with another call.
She grabbed a towel to go take a shower, when with a thud, she fell face-first onto the bathroom floor.
Before losing consciousness, she thought: Could that online quack’s claim about souls lasting 777 days actually be right? Yu Yusheng’s urge to take back her body is getting pretty urgent.
Cheng Xiang said to her in her heart: Don’t play too rough, sister. If I faint in the bathroom and end up on the news tomorrow, wouldn’t you be the one losing face?
When she slowly came to, she realized her chest didn’t feel tight at all.
She wasn’t lying on the wet bathroom floor, but was wearing her pajamas, lying safely on the sofa with a blanket covering her.
Yu Yusheng actually knew how to take care of her pretty well.
Still, Cheng Xiang curled her lips and spoke to the empty air with a smile, “Sister, I hadn’t even dried my hair yet. You let me lie on the sofa like this, won’t the sofa get completely wet?”
Then, she noticed a toy bear resting beside her cheek.
Cheng Xiang sat up on the sofa, gathered her wet hair, tossed it over one shoulder, and pushed the little bear with her finger.
She hadn’t bought it; it was just a cheap promotional item that came with a pack of yogurt she once purchased. It was rather crudely made, but because it resembled the one she used to hang on her backpack, she had brought it home and tucked it into a corner of her bookshelf.
She didn’t know how the little bear hanging on her bag was doing now. Director Ma probably hadn’t cleaned out any of her things, so her bag and the little bear were likely still draped over the back of the chair in a messy heap, along with the thermal top and tights she had only worn once.
As if there were no need to tidy them up. As if at any moment, a slender girl would walk into the room, put them on, and go out.
Cheng Xiang sniffled.
It seemed only a girl would comfort another girl this way, gently placing a toy bear by her cheek.
Yu Yusheng knew things had been hard for her lately. Yu Yusheng was a very gentle girl too.
Cheng Xiang said softly to the empty air, “Don’t worry, I’ll live a good life for you.”
Sigh, those were just pretty words.
The moment she said it, she felt guilty again.
The next time she saw Tao Tianran and Qiao Zhiji, they had met up at Kunpu’s suburban studio again.
Cheng Xiang had originally wanted to tell Yi Yu she had diarrhea to ask for leave. Good lord, seeing Tao Tianran and Qiao Zhiji at the same time in this situationโwhat a top-tier Shura field.
But she changed her mind: she had better go.
What had to be faced had to be faced sooner or later.
The two big shots stood at the entrance of the studio. Spring was deepening and the grass was growing lush. Qiao Zhiji wore a khaki-gray pantsuit slightly cinched at the waist. Tao Tianran wore a long black trench coat draped wide open, showing a crisp, structured white shirt paired with pine-gray trousers underneath.
Cheng Xiang sighed in her heart: With how powerful both of your auras are, why don’t you two just get together?
She walked over like a cowering quail, greeting them without raising her head. “President Qiao. Teacher Tao.”
Tao Tianran only nodded.
It was Qiao Zhiji who greeted her, “You’re here.”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go inside then.”
The Wutong brooch was already finished; today was the last time Qiao Zhiji would come to inspect it. If there were no issues, this highly valuable piece of jewelry would be packed into a dark gentian-purple velvet box and delivered into her hands.
Tao Tianran had brought along the final delivery contract today, and Yi Yu had also sent a photographer over to take a final commemorative photo.
Tao Tianran approached the display stand, pushing up the gold-rimmed glasses on her nose to make a final confirmation.
Then, she stepped aside from the prime viewing position. “President Qiao, take a look.”
She walked to the side herself, switching on the spotlight aimed directly at the display stand.
Cheng Xiang stood silently to one side.
Gemstones were magical entities; they were concise, requiring no words. Just bathed in the perfect spotlight, anyone could see their high value, stability, and cold hardness at a single glance.
Its expensiveness was because of its stability. Its charm came from its cold hardness.
Just like the Tao Tianran of the past.
Qiao Zhiji looked at it for a while, then spoke: “I have a question.”
Tao Tianran had already taken off her gloves to retrieve the contract from her bag, since jewelry made by her hand had never been criticized. She paused upon hearing this.
“What is it?”
“Will a gemstone like this shatter?” Qiao Zhiji suddenly asked.
Cheng Xiang looked toward Tao Tianran.
Tao Tianran stood in the beam of light coming through the window. Her trench coat was off, revealing her crisp white shirt and retro trousers with a wide waistband underneath. Her makeup was extremely light, and her pale skin appeared almost translucent in the sunlight; the two tiny moles on her face looked like ink droplets scattered on her cheeks, giving her a delicate, poetic elegance.
Her expression was quiet and calm, with no trace of emotion to be caught, except that her thin lips appeared dry.
Every time before she opened her lips to speak, they seemed stuck together, as if it took a lot of effort to part them.
Cheng Xiang said silently in her heart: It will.
So even the hardest gemstones could shatter. She had seen it.
Tao Tianran answered Qiao Zhiji, “Any material existing in reality carries the risk of shattering, so it must be handled with care.”
Qiao Zhiji nodded. “I understand.”
“Are there any other questions?”
“No. Pack it up.”
Qiao Zhiji leaned over the desk to sign her name. Tao Tianran waved, calling in the photographer waiting at the door.
“There is no need for a commemorative photo.” Qiao Zhiji straightened up, tossing the velvet box into her Birkin bag with complete indifference. She glanced at Cheng Xiang, withdrew her gaze, and said, “This was never a happy brooch to begin with.”
She had taken a turn through the vast, open world, only to return.
What she wanted had never been a brooch.
Footnotes
- '777 tiฤn' is a specific duration in the story's lore representing the maximum span a disembodied soul can survive in the human realm before fading away completely.
- A 'Miร owฤ zhวngzว' (Bulbasaur) themed onesie. Bulbasaur is a well-known Pokรฉmon, and its merchandise is highly popular in China.
- A highly valuable antique teapot decorated with colorful painted enamel representing 'fรบ' (blessings) and 'shรฒu' (longevity), made from 'zวshฤ' (purple clay) from Yixing, China.
- 'Gลngzuรฒ liรกng fฤnbรจi, gลngzฤซ jiวnbร n' is a cynical, humorous Chinese internet meme poking fun at extreme corporate exploitation.
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