STT – Chapter 14
by Little PandaRather Than Settle, I’d Prefer to Waste
On Christmas Day, the translation agency showed a rare touch of compassion by letting everyone off early. The moment the clock struck four, everyone hurriedly packed up, grabbed their bags, and slipped away.
Lu Zizheng took her time packing up before calling Jiang Huaixi to let her know she was off. They had agreed earlier that Lu Zizheng would call when she was about to leave, and Jiang Huaixi would pick her up.
But right now, Jiang Huaixi sounded a bit conflicted. Something had come up at the last minute, and she couldn’t get away. After a brief hesitation, she told her the truth. “I might be a little late. Something came up at the office.”
Lu Zizheng smiled, not minding in the least. “It’s fine,” she said understandingly. “Go ahead and finish up. Are you still at your office? I’ll head over and wait for you.” The translation agency was not far from Jiang Huaixi’s companyโonly about a twenty-minute walk.
Jiang Huaixi glanced back at her colleagues, who were still locked in discussion in the office. After weighing the distance between their office, the restaurant they had booked for the evening, and where Lu Zizheng was, she could only agree. “Alright, then. Give me a call when you reach the lobby, and I’ll head down immediately.”
Lu Zizheng gave a soft hum of agreement, hung up, grabbed her coat, and stepped out of the translation agency.
The streets were brimming with a festive atmosphere. Shops were festooned with lights and decorations, and young people walked by clutching bouquets of fresh flowers, their faces radiant with unmistakable happiness.
Lu Zizheng pulled her coat tighter against herself. Braving the biting wind that rose with the setting sun, she strolled toward Jiang Huaixi’s office. She felt a sudden pang of self-reproach. Looking back over the years they had known each other, it seemed she was always the one making Jiang Huaixi wait. Yet Jiang Huaixi, who usually seemed utterly devoid of patience, had surprisingly never lost her temper or gotten angry with her over it.
Lu Zizheng wasn’t someone who enjoyed waiting either. But at this moment, as she walked toward Jiang Huaixi’s office step by step, quietly counting each passing second, the thought that Jiang Huaixi would be standing at the end of her wait made the experience feel not so bad after all.
After making her wait so many times, she thought, it’s only fair to return the favor once, isn’t it?
For as long as she could remember, Lu Zizheng had hated owing anyone anything. She always preferred to settle every score cleanly, refusing to take the slightest advantage of anyone. Jiang Huaixi was the sole exception. The accounts between them had long since become impossible to settle.
The freezing wind bit at her cheeks until they stung. Lu Zizheng lowered her head and quickened her pace. Just past the next corner, Jiang Huaixi’s office building would come into view.
Rounding the corner, she kept her head down, walking in silence until she felt she was nearly there. Only then did she look up.
To her surprise, the moment she did, she spotted Jiang Huaixi standing by the building entrance just a short distance away. Lu Zizheng couldn’t quite make out her expression from this far, but she saw Jiang Huaixi reach out to accept a bouquet of flowers from a young man standing in front of her. After Jiang Huaixi spoke a few words, her red lips parting and closing, the young man turned and walked away, looking thoroughly dejected.
Lu Zizheng watched in a daze, her hands at her sides tightening instinctively around the hem of her coat.
As if sensing her gaze, Jiang Huaixi suddenly turned her head. Her eyes locked onto Lu Zizheng, and her brow instantly furrowed.
Clutching the roses, Jiang Huaixi descended the steps and walked toward Lu Zizheng. As she passed a trash can along the pavement, she reached out and tossed the bouquet inside without a second thought. Once her hands were free, she began unwinding the scarf from her neck as she walked.
Coming to a stop in front of Lu Zizheng, Jiang Huaixi draped her own scarf around Lu Zizheng’s neck as if it were the most natural thing in the world. As she wound it around, she didn’t miss the chance to mock her. “The wind has turned your face as red as a monkey’s backside. You look hideous.” She turned on her heel. “Let’s go. The car is parked just ahead.”
Lu Zizheng followed closely behind. Jiang Huaixi’s familiar scent drifted from the scarf, wrapping her in warmth. Watching the other woman’s tall, slender figure stride steadily through the freezing wind, Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but speak up. “The flowers were quite pretty. Wasn’t it a waste to throw them out? That guy didn’t look too bad, either.” The moment the words left her mouth, Lu Zizheng knew she had crossed the line. She was probing again. Instant regret washed over her, but the words were out, and there was no taking them back.
Sure enough, Jiang Huaixi stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around, her pitch-black eyes locking onto Lu Zizheng as her lips curved into a faint smile. “I think you’re not too bad, either.”
For a moment, Lu Zizheng felt scorched by the heat hidden within her gaze. Flustered, she looked away, not daring to meet her eyes. The bustling noise of the street’s heavy traffic faded to nothing, leaving only the sound of her own heart beatingโthump, thumpโฆ
Jiang Huaixi let out a soft laugh and added, “I find most people in this world to be decent, and I think most flowers are pretty. But that’s all it is. If a cake looks good but doesn’t suit your taste, would you eat it?”
Lu Zizheng looked up at her but remained silent. She watched Jiang Huaixi cast her eyes down, her long eyelashes throwing a soft shadow over her cheek. Her expression was cool, her voice unwavering as she said, “Rather than settle, I’d prefer to waste.”
The tension in Lu Zizheng’s brow dissolved, and she pursed her lips, smiling silently. She caught up to Jiang Huaixi and said, “Let’s go. I wonder if the cake you’ve ordered for tonight will suit your taste.”
Jiang Huaixi frowned almost imperceptibly, raising an eyebrow. “Are we talking about suiting your taste? If it does, will you eat it?”
Lu Zizheng deflected the question effortlessly1. “When it comes to dessert, I don’t really have a preference. Whatever is served, I’ll eat it.”
Jiang Huaixi gave a soft huff. She strode to the car, pulled open the door, and got in, leaving Lu Zizheng with a parting shot: “Too bad. I didn’t order any cake.”
A warm smile touched Lu Zizheng’s eyes as she walked around to the passenger side and slipped into the car.
On holidays, the roads were inevitably choked with traffic. Stuck in a standstill halfway to their destination, Lu Zizheng fished a Little Rabbit Plush Toy out of her handbag and set it on the dashboard. The word “Peace” was hand-embroidered in bold characters across the little rabbit’s body.
Jiang Huaixi glanced sideways at it and immediately scoffed, “Where did you buy something so hideous?”
Lu Zizheng’s hand froze. Annoyed, she snapped, “Maybe there’s something wrong with your taste. Hideous or not, it’s your Christmas present. Take it or leave it.” She had nearly turned her fingers into pincushions trying to stitch that rabbit and embroider those characters. How did Jiang Huaixi have the nerve to call it ugly?
As the young mistress of a wealthy family, Jiang Huaixi wanted for nothing, as Lu Zizheng well knew. Over the years, the value of the gifts Lu Zizheng gave her had never been measured in money. Every single one had come straight from the heart, carrying her most sincere feelings. Whether Jiang Huaixi truly appreciated them, Lu Zizheng didn’t know. But she knew her own heart, and that was enough to do justice to their friendship.
The traffic finally began to creep forward. Keeping her eyes on the road, Jiang Huaixi slowly accelerated and replied dryly, “I let its owner into my car, and she’s hideous. I suppose this rabbit is only moderately ugly. It’s tolerable. I’ll let it stay in my car for now.”
She was never going to let this go, was she? Lu Zizheng glared at Jiang Huaixi and reached out to snatch the rabbit back.
But Jiang Huaixi was much quicker. Snatching the toy away, she tossed it to her far side, well out of Lu Zizheng’s reach. “You can’t take back a gift you’ve already given.”
Lu Zizheng huffed, “I thought you said it was ugly?”
“Even if it’s ugly, it’s mine now.” Jiang Huaixi glanced at Lu Zizheng’s sullen face, then back at the ugly rabbit, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Actually, looking closely at itโฆ it’s quite cute.”
“Hmphโฆ” Lu Zizheng muttered.
The sky gradually deepened into dusk, and as the streetlamps flickered to life, the city dissolved into an ocean of shimmering lightsโa dazzling splendor unique to the night. In the play of shadows, Jiang Huaixi’s profile looked exceptionally soft, a sight that never failed to melt Lu Zizheng’s heart. There were many times when Lu Zizheng would indulge in impossible wishes, imagining how wonderful it would be if the road they were on never had to end. Like this one, right now.
Yet half an hour later, they arrived at their destination after all. Wishes would only ever be wishes; they could never become reality. Lu Zizheng had learned this lesson long ago.
As they stepped out of the car, they realized that Linzhou’s first snow of the year had quietly begun to fall. It drifted down, coating the world in a shimmering, silver layer.
Jiang Huaixi and Lu Zizheng walked side by side toward the restaurant. Snowflakes danced around them, landing gently on their hair and coats with a playful tendernessโฆ
Over that short distance, the snow dusted their heads until they were almost completely white.
Just as they reached the shelter of the restaurant entrance, Jiang Huaixi surprised Lu Zizheng by reaching out from behind to catch her hand, bringing her to a halt.
Lu Zizheng turned back to look at her, thoroughly confused.
Jiang Huaixi had raised her hand, but the moment Lu Zizheng turned around, her hand froze in midair. She stared at Lu Zizheng without blinking, her expression momentarily distant.
If the day comes when Lu Zizheng’s hair turns white with age, will she look just like she does right now? A flicker of pain crossed Jiang Huaixi’s face, but Lu Zizheng was too slow to catch it.
In the blink of an eye, Jiang Huaixi’s expression returned to normal. She completed her gesture, gently brushing the snow from Lu Zizheng’s hair, sending a flurry of white flakes to the ground. “Don’t you know how cold melted snow is? If you catch a cold just from having dinner with me, how am I supposed to face Auntie2?”
Lu Zizheng didn’t reply, but she reached out to brush the dusting of snow from Jiang Huaixi’s coat as well. Only after she finished did she turn around and mutter, “You’re always worrying about the smallest things. Can we go inside now?”
Jiang Huaixi watched her from behind, her quiet gaze fixed on Lu Zizheng’s back. The faint smile on her lips was at once bitter and full of understanding.
If we walk in the snow without an umbrella, will we be able to walk all the way to white hair3?
Footnotes
- 'Using four ounces of pressure to move a thousand pounds' (sรฌ liวng bล qiฤn jฤซn) is a classic Tai Chi proverb meaning to effortlessly deflect a massive force with minimal effort or clever strategy.
- 'Auntie' (ฤyรญ) is a polite form of address for a woman of one's mother's generation, used here by Jiang Huaixi to refer to Lu Zizheng's mother.
- 'To walk together until one's head turns white' (yฤซ lรน zวu dร o bรกi tรณu) is a classic Chinese romantic wordplay. It refers to walking in the snow without an umbrella until the falling snow covers one's head in white, symbolizing the wish to grow old together.
This foreshadowing is really scaring me. I will not survive if Jiang Huaixi dies in the end. Please tell me if this is a HE ๐ญ
https://media1.giphy.com/media/WRuBiZKB6xgsS9DrFA/giphy-downsized-small.mp4
B-Bittersweet