STT – Chapter 11

Sleep, Don’t Be Afraid

During dinner, Mother Lu came out of the bedroom, her complexion looking much better. She praised Jiang Huaixi with a smile. “Huaixi, you’ve got enough skill to graduate now.” Turning her attention to Lu Zizheng, who was watching her with concern, she added, “Zhengzheng, you need to learn a thing or two from Huaixi.”

Jiang Huaixi ladled a bowl of soup for Mother Lu, looking at Lu Zizheng with a faint smile.

            

Lu Zizheng brushed it off. “I don’t need to learn. If I want a good meal, I can just come home to Mom…”

Mother Lu sighed, her tone full of indulgence. “You’re already so old, yet you still act like a child who refuses to grow up…”

Lu Zizheng cheered up a bit, blinking and pouting at her mother in a spoiled manner.

            

Jiang Huaixi picked up on Mother Lu’s words and smiled. “Isn’t that the truth? When she gets upset, she cries like a baby. And if someone catches her, she gets so embarrassed she wants to silence the witness…”

Lu Zizheng shifted her gaze to glare at Jiang Huaixi, then picked up a chopstickful of food and dropped it into Jiang Huaixi’s bowl. “Even eating can’t keep your mouth shut!”

Mother Lu only watched them with a warm, loving smile…

            

Once they finished eating, Mother Lu adamantly refused to let Jiang Huaixi help clean up the mess. Unable to sway her, Jiang Huaixi had no choice but to give up. Lu Zizheng, playing the part of the dutiful daughter, followed her mother into the kitchen to help, only to be promptly chased out with her mother telling her, “You’ll only get in the way. Go keep Huaixi company.”

Jiang Huaixi was sitting in the living room, a playful smile on her face as she watched Lu Zizheng, who looked disgruntled at being underestimated. Lu Zizheng sat down beside her, turned on the television, and pretended not to notice.

Worried about Mother Lu’s health, Lu Zizheng decided not to go back to her own apartment and to spend the night there instead.

            

After finishing the dishes, Mother Lu joined them in the living room, and the three of them sat together for a while. Seeing that it was getting late, Jiang Huaixi stood up to take her leave. This time, before Mother Lu could even ask her to stay, Lu Zizheng spoke up first.

“It’s pretty late, and it’s really cold outside. Driving isn’t very safe, and you don’t have anything urgent…” She listed several reasons why it would be inconvenient for Jiang Huaixi to drive home, trying to sound casual, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to say the rest.

Jiang Huaixi had already put on her shoes at the entryway. With one hand resting on the doorknob, her lips curved into a faint, teasing smile as she looked at Lu Zizheng. “Mhm. So?”

            

Lu Zizheng looked away. Since she had already gone this far, she might as well finish it. “Why don’t you just stay the night…” She finally said the words. Her eyes were fixed on the shoe cabinet beside her, refusing to look at Jiang Huaixi’s face. Still, she could feel Jiang Huaixi’s intense, burning gaze on her.

To her surprise, however, Jiang Huaixi declined. “No, I have some things to take care of tomorrow. Are you heading home in the afternoon? I should have enough time to come by and pick you up.”

Lu Zizheng couldn’t quite describe the feeling in her heart. A faint trace of disappointment mingled with an indescribable emotion, causing her tone to drop. “No need. It’s too much trouble. I’ll just take the bus back myself.”

            

Jiang Huaixi’s grip on the doorknob tightened. She cast a deep look at Lu Zizheng, but said nothing more. She turned to Mother Lu and said goodbye once again. “Auntie¹, I’m heading out now.”

Mother Lu nodded and smiled warmly. “Drive carefully on your way back.”

Jiang Huaixi opened the door and stepped outside, replying, “I will…”

            

As the door was about to close, Lu Zizheng remained standing there, lost in thought. Mother Lu gave her a gentle nudge. “Go see Huaixi out. The elevator has been acting up lately.”

Lu Zizheng looked up and saw Jiang Huaixi standing outside, her eyes slightly lowered, quietly watching her. She cast her gaze down and agreed, “Okay.” With that, she stepped out of the door with Jiang Huaixi.

They walked in single file. Cast by the hallway lights, their tall, slender shadows embraced and intertwined in silence…

            

Fortunately, the elevator was working fine tonight. The doors slid open almost as soon as the button was pressed, catching Lu Zizheng slightly off guard with its speed.

Jiang Huaixi turned her head slightly and said softly, “Go back inside. No need to come all the way down with me.” Having said that, she stepped into the elevator.

“I didn’t plan on going downstairs anyway,” Lu Zizheng murmured. She turned around to walk back.

            

She heard the elevator chime, signaling that the doors were closing. Keeping her head down, she took one slow step after another… Suddenly, she heard a “ding-dong” chime and the announcement: “Doors opening…”

Lu Zizheng stopped in her tracks and stood still.

Behind her, Jiang Huaixi’s familiar, cool voice rang out. “Don’t worry anymore. Sometimes, life isn’t so full of malice.”

            

Lu Zizheng turned back to look at Jiang Huaixi. She saw her holding down the door-open button with her long, slender index finger, her deep gaze carrying a rare tenderness.

“Don’t overthink things. Go back and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, everything will be fine.” That was what Lu Zizheng heard Jiang Huaixi say. Her usually cool voice carried a distinct trace of gentleness now.

Lu Zizheng smiled softly and nodded at her.

            

She watched as Jiang Huaixi released the button. A fleeting hint of a smile seemed to touch Jiang Huaixi’s lips, but in the next instant, it vanished behind the slowly closing elevator doors.

Back inside the apartment, Mother Lu asked in surprise, “Back already? You didn’t see Huaixi all the way downstairs?”

Lu Zizheng walked quickly toward the balcony, murmuring a vague agreement as she went. “Mhm…”

            

Before long, Lu Zizheng spotted a red car pulling out from the parking lot downstairs. It drove toward the distance, exiting the residential complex, until it gradually vanished from her sight.

Why hadn’t she ever noticed before that Jiang Huaixi actually had plenty of her own affairs to attend to, and that her time was not entirely her own? Was it because she had never paid attention before, or was it because she cared too much now?

Lu Zizheng lightly traced an X on the balcony railing with one hand. She exhaled softly, her breath condensing into a thin, white mist that rose into the freezing air.

            

Let it be. This was good enough.

“What are you doing standing out there like a fool? It’s freezing. Come inside,” Mother Lu’s voice suddenly sounded from behind her.

Lu Zizheng was startled, her entire body flinching. She nearly let out a cry of fright.

            

Seeing her daughter’s overreaction, Mother Lu laughed in amusement. “Look at you. How can you be so easily frightened?”

A sudden wave of melancholy washed over Lu Zizheng. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Mother Lu, speaking in a soft, coaxing voice, “I’ve always been this easily scared. I’m just a coward… So, Mom, don’t scare me anymore…”

Mother Lu wrapped an arm around her, gently patting her back as she coaxed her in a warm voice, “Alright, alright. Mom won’t scare you anymore…”

            

That night, Lu Zizheng lay in bed with her eyes closed, tossing and turning, but sleep eluded her.

She knew she was suffering from insomnia again, and frustration washed over her.

For years, a peaceful, natural night’s sleep had been a rare luxury. In her earlier years, she had relied entirely on sleeping pills. Later on, she had consciously forced herself to stop, but ever since, she had lived in a constant state of chronic sleep deprivation.

            

Opening her eyes, she stared out at the murky night. She listened to the northern wind battering the window pane, making the glass shudder and rattle under its relentless assault.

She rolled over onto her stomach, reached out to open her nightstand drawer, and felt around inside until her fingers brushed against a lock of soft, black hair². It was only a few thin strands, yet they were neatly and tightly bound with a beautiful red string.

Lu Zizheng stared at the slender strands in the darkness for a long time. Finally, she tucked it under her pillow and closed her eyes, counting the rhythm of the wind striking the window… One, two, three, four, five…

            

Her consciousness gradually drifted, growing hazy. In her daze, a soft, warm voice seemed to whisper in her ear, “Sleep. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be fine tomorrow…”

Near the end of her first semester of freshman year, Lu Zizheng had had the misfortune of catching a cold, though she hadn’t taken it seriously at the time. In her subconscious, she had always dreaded hospitals. She could never forget the agonizing, heartbreaking pain of her father passing away in one. In such places, everyone wore expressions of deep misery, and the crushing, deathly white all around made it hard to breathe.

However, the cold didn’t behave as she’d expected. Instead of quietly running its course and leaving after a few days, it only grew more rampant. Before her physical education class, Lu Zizheng felt her entire body burning. Lacking a thermometer of her own and unwilling to borrow one from roommates she wasn’t close with, she went to class anyway, pretending nothing was wrong despite her discomfort.

            

Since they had to pass a two-kilometer run for their final exam, every physical education class over the past few weeks had begun with running as a warm-up.

As usual, Lu Zizheng ran at the very front of the pack. When she passed the bleachers, she spotted Jiang Huaixi sitting there, just like always, wearing headphones and holding a book, looking perfectly relaxed and at ease.

As she ran, Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but wonder: was it really normal to sit in the wind in such freezing weather when she didn’t even have physical education class? But before she could think any further, her thoughts were drowned by the rising heat. Her body felt hotter and hotter, her steps heavier and heavier, until she felt as though she couldn’t run anymore…

            

And then, she really couldn’t run anymore…

She fainted.

When she woke up, the first thing that met her eyes was the hospital’s eternally unchanging, dreadful white ceiling, glaring and oppressive. She turned her heavy head, only to be surprised to find that the person sitting beside her was actually Jiang Huaixi.

            

Jiang Huaixi was sitting on a chair next to her bed, quietly reading. Her long, pale fingers held the page, making a soft rustling sound as she turned it. When she wasn’t speaking or acting up, she truly possessed the elegance of a young lady from a prestigious family.

Seeing that Lu Zizheng was awake, Jiang Huaixi set her book down, frowning as she scolded her with a hint of annoyance. “You really love showing off, don’t you? Didn’t you know you had a fever?”

Lu Zizheng found it strange that she seemed to detect a trace of heartache in that tone, but she brushed it off, assuming she had simply grown muddled from the fever. She simply asked, “Did you bring me here?”

            

Jiang Huaixi lowered her head, picking up her book to flip through it idly. “Don’t be too grateful. It just so happened that I was the only one with nothing better to do.”

Lu Zizheng choked on her words, and the “thank you” she’d been about to say stuck in her throat. She studied Jiang Huaixi, suddenly noticing a fine layer of sweat on the bridge of her elegant nose. Her lips were also a pale purple. Staring in a daze, she wondered: had Jiang Huaixi caught a chill on the way here? Out of her usual conscience, she asked with some unease, “Why are your lips purple?”

Jiang Huaixi paused mid-page. She looked up, staring at her, then offered a faint smile. “Have you never tried purple lipstick? I think the shade is quite nice. If you like it, I can give you some.” Her tone carried obvious mockery: “You’re really ignorant.”

            

Lu Zizheng took a deep breath; sure enough, she’d thought too much. She rolled over, deciding not to bicker with Jiang Huaixi. Just as she turned, she heard the sound of Jiang Huaixi standing up.

“I’ve already requested leave from school on your behalf. They won’t let you leave this hospital without my permission anyway, so just rest up. I’m leaving now.”

Lu Zizheng rolled back over, just about to ask her, “What do you mean they won’t let me leave without your permission?!” But she saw that Jiang Huaixi had already closed the door and left.

            

In her sleep, Lu Zizheng remained restless, her brow furrowing unconsciously. In her daze, she thought: The Jiang Huaixi from back then was simply too annoying. Who gave her permission to act like some overbearing CEO³ in front of me every single second!

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