STT – Chapter 26
by Little PandaHow Do Two Timid People Talk About a Brave Love?
“Zizheng…” Jiang Huaixi’s cool voice sounded from a distance, her breath unsteady, breaking the sudden, awkward atmosphere between Lu Zizheng and Mother Jiang.
Lu Zizheng bit her lip and took a deep breath. Forcing herself to steady her emotions, she managed to keep her voice stable before calling back, “Huaixi, Auntie and I are over here.”
After a flurry of urgent, hurried footsteps, Jiang Huaixi appeared before Lu Zizheng and Mother Jiang. Perhaps because she had run so fast, fine beads of sweat dotted the tip of her nose despite the freezing weather. She panted softly, her brow slightly furrowed as she looked at Lu Zizheng with worry. Receiving no response from Lu Zizheng, she turned an inquiring gaze toward Mother Jiang.
She knew Lu Zizheng too well. Although Lu Zizheng was doing her utmost to maintain her usual expression, Jiang Huaixi caught the deep gloom in her eyes at a single glance.
Mother Jiang looked down at Jiang Huaixi’s shoes and chuckled helplessly. “How did you end up wearing Grandmother’s cotton slippers down here?” Normally, Jiang Huaixi was a well-behaved, polite child. Ever since she was old enough to know better, she would never come downstairs in her pajamas even if there were no outsiders at home. Yet today, she could not even wait to change her shoes and had rushed out in bedroom slippers. Her anxiety and concern for Lu Zizheng were plain to see.
Mother Jiang sighed. Although she had long known her daughter was utterly captivated by this girl, she still could not help but feel a pang of displeasure and heartache at this moment. She understood the questioning look in Jiang Huaixi’s eyes, but she had no intention of answering. She knew how deeply Jiang Huaixi cherished Lu Zizheng, and how she could not bear to let Lu Zizheng face even a fraction of a struggle or suffer the slightest grievance. But what Jiang Huaixi did not realize was that as a mother, she cherished her own daughter just as much. Even if she knew certain words would make Jiang Huaixi unhappy or angry, she still had to speak them.
Jiang Huaixi ignored her mother’s question, only calling out softly once more, “Mom…” Her tone held a faint note of pleading.
Mother Jiang looked at Jiang Huaixi, feeling a mix of helplessness and indulgence. Ever since Jiang Huaixi had moved out, she rarely came home more than a few times a year, let alone spoke to her mother in such a softened voice. Fine, let it be for now.
Mother Jiang raised her hand and patted Lu Zizheng’s shoulder. Each gentle, deliberate tap felt heavy with meaning, striking directly at Lu Zizheng’s heart. “We can continue our chat another time when there’s an opportunity,” Mother Jiang said warmly, a faint smile on her face. “For now, Auntie needs to go inside and see how dinner is coming along. Let Huaixi show you around the house.” With that, she turned gracefully and walked away.
The moment Mother Jiang left, Jiang Huaixi fixed her eyes on Lu Zizheng, her brow furrowed with concern. “Did my mother say something to you?”
Lu Zizheng pursed her lips, smoothing her expression to feign a lighthearted air. “We were just chatting. She was telling me about some of the silly things you did when you were little.” Seeing that Jiang Huaixi was still frowning with tension, Lu Zizheng felt a sudden sting in her nose. She quickly turned around, blinking to hide the moisture in her eyes as she continued to steer the conversation away. “Auntie spilled all your secrets. I didn’t expect you to be so silly and cute when you were a kid. Well, it looks like you won’t be able to play the cool, aloof type in front of me anymore.”
Jiang Huaixi’s eyes dimmed slightly. She took a quiet breath and went along with Lu Zizheng’s wishes, stepping forward to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her. Pointing to the small western-style building in front of them, she changed the subject. “Do you want to go inside and take a look?” Knowing Lu Zizheng did not want to talk about it, she chose not to force her.
Lu Zizheng naturally agreed.
Jiang Huaixi pushed open the wooden door of the building, her tone rising as she began to bring up the past again. “When you brought me to your school back then, you only let me see the front gate and look in through the iron bars. Today, I’m letting you right into the sacred grounds of my childhood. Tell me, how do you plan to show your tearful gratitude to repay me?”
Lu Zizheng protested, feeling aggrieved. “That was only because the guard was on holiday and wouldn’t let us in.”
Jiang Huaixi said with simple, blunt finality, “I don’t care about the process, only the result.”
Lu Zizheng huffed softly, murmuring, “Tyrant.”
During New Year of her freshman year, the moment she actually brought Jiang Huaixi back home, Lu Zizheng began to regret it. Once she got into Jiang Huaixi’s car, she started praying—for traffic jams, flat tires, engine breakdowns. Unfortunately, things went completely against her wishes. That day was exceptionally smooth, and they reached her home in Juzhou safely and without any delay.
Having come this far, Lu Zizheng found she couldn’t back out now. No matter how reluctant she was, she could not bring herself to shut Jiang Huaixi out of the house. After leading her through the front door, she did not even play host. She simply greeted her mother and retreated straight to her bedroom, leaving Jiang Huaixi stranded in the living room, hoping this cold shoulder would make Jiang Huaixi take the hint and leave.
From her bedroom, Lu Zizheng could faintly hear the voices of her mother and Jiang Huaixi talking, punctuated by occasional laughter. Surprisingly, Jiang Huaixi seemed to get along quite well with her mother, chatting away merrily.
Only later did she learn that her mother absolutely adored Jiang Huaixi. Even though she could tell her daughter did not like having Jiang Huaixi around, the next day, Mother Lu still pushed her out the door, ordering her to take Jiang Huaixi out to look around and have some fun. She had even issued a strict command: they were not allowed back before dark.
On the street, she and Jiang Huaixi walked one after the other in silence. After they had walked some distance, Jiang Huaixi suddenly made a request. “Take me to see where you used to go to school.”
Lu Zizheng startled slightly. Was this a request or an order? Clearly, she felt it was the latter. With a cold sneer, she flatly refused, “I forgot how to get there a long time ago. Actually, there’s nothing much to do in Juzhou. I’m just taking you for a walk along the streets, or maybe to a park or a supermarket. If you find it boring, you can head back to Linzhou first.”
Jiang Huaixi was entirely unfazed, raising her voice slightly. “Oh? Really? I think it’s quite fun. Your house is the most fun place of all. It almost makes me wish the New Year holiday lasted seven days.”
Just as Lu Zizheng was about to retort, she spotted a pretty, long-haired girl walking toward them from a distance, happily arm-in-arm with a young man. Her expression instantly darkened. In a low, flat voice, she instructed Jiang Huaixi, “Turn around, walk straight, and turn right.”
Jiang Huaixi, thoroughly confused, froze in her tracks and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Lu Zizheng turned back and, without a word, grabbed the dazed Jiang Huaixi and pulled her along. Unfortunately, she still heard Zhou Fangfan calling out from behind her in surprised hesitation, “Zizheng?”
Lu Zizheng bit her lip and quickened her pace. Frowning, Jiang Huaixi uncharacteristically cooperated, keeping up with her rapid strides.
But Zhou Fangfan let go of her boyfriend’s hand, ran a few quick steps to catch up, and grabbed Lu Zizheng’s hand. Standing right in front of Lu Zizheng, she stared at her blankly. Her lips trembled for a long time, and summoning every ounce of courage she could muster, she managed only a single question: “Is it really you? How have you been these past few years?”
Now that they were face-to-face, Lu Zizheng actually grew calm and composed. She pulled her hand from Zhou Fangfan’s grasp and smiled faintly. “I’m doing very well. Why? Am I supposed to be doing badly?”
“No… I didn’t mean it like that…” Zhou Fangfan murmured. Just as she was about to say more, her boyfriend caught up. Looking at Lu Zizheng in confusion, he asked, “Fan, what’s wrong? Did you run into a friend?” With that, he extended his hand to Lu Zizheng, offering a bright, sunny smile. “Hello, I’m Fangfan’s boyfriend, Xu Yi.”
Lu Zizheng did not reach out to take his hand. She merely gave him a cool nod before waving to Zhou Fangfan. “I have things to do, so I’ll be going now. Goodbye.”
“Wait, Zizheng!” Zhou Fangfan blurted out anxiously. “Could you leave me your phone number? I… I still have things I want to say to you.”
Lu Zizheng only paused her steps for a fraction of a second, replying softly, “Didn’t you used to say you believed in fate? If we’re fated, we’ll meet again.” With that, she quickened her pace to leave.
Jiang Huaixi cast another glance back at the sorrowful Zhou Fangfan before following close behind Lu Zizheng.
After walking for a long time, Lu Zizheng finally stopped in front of a school. Hanging over the entrance was a sign that read, “Juzhou First Middle School.” Lu Zizheng turned around, offering a rare smile. “Didn’t you want to see my school? This is my middle school.”
Back then, after holding her mother and crying at this very gate, she had secretly sworn never to return to this place. Yet today, after running into Zhou Fangfan, she had somehow wound up leading Jiang Huaixi here, as if guided by some unseen force.
Watching Jiang Huaixi look over the school with curiosity, she reached out and tugged at her to get her attention. With a calm, serious face, she said, “All the rumors you heard about me in the past were false.”
A beautiful curve appeared on Jiang Huaixi’s lips. Her eyes remained locked on Lu Zizheng as she replied with quiet, firm conviction, “I believe you.”
Her voice and tone were so sincere. Hearing them, Lu Zizheng only responded with a soft smile and continued, “But there is one truth: I do like girls. The girl we just saw was my first love.”
Jiang Huaixi frowned as she looked at her.
She looked back at Jiang Huaixi, a smile playing on her lips, laced with self-deprecation and a trace of malice as she warned, “So, Jiang Huaixi, stay away from me. I’m a lesbian. To other girls, I’m just as dangerous as a pervert.”
But in that instant, the smile faded from Jiang Huaixi’s lips. Her expression darkened, and she said coldly, “I’m sorry, but that’s not how ‘pervert’ is defined in my dictionary. You’ve insulted yourself, and you’ve insulted me.”
Then her expression softened again. Walking up to the iron gate, she pointed at a massive locust tree inside the campus and asked, as if nothing had happened, “That tree is huge. When you went to school here, did you sit in its shade to cool off in the summer? Can we go in?”
At that moment, Lu Zizheng had stared deeply at Jiang Huaixi, speechless.
If she had to pinpoint exactly when she had first fallen for Jiang Huaixi, perhaps it was then—or perhaps even earlier. Although Lu Zizheng was unwilling to admit it, deep down she understood. That warning had probably been meant not just for Jiang Huaixi, but for herself. She wanted Jiang Huaixi to stay away, to stop provoking her feelings, because she knew how deeply Jiang Huaixi attracted her—and how terrified she was of falling into a rich person’s emotional games once more.
Jiang Huaixi led Lu Zizheng from one room to another, carefully and patiently explaining the purpose of each: the music room, the art room, the dance studio, the calligraphy room…
Lu Zizheng felt somewhat distracted, but she still forced herself to focus, offering a few words of agreement or asking a question here and there as Jiang Huaixi spoke.
As they finally stepped back outside, Lu Zizheng teased, “I didn’t realize Miss Jiang was so talented. Truly, appearances can be deceiving.”
Closing the door, Jiang Huaixi scoffed dryly, “That’s just your poor judgment.”
As they turned around, they realized that snow had begun to drift lazily down from the sky again. Though the distance back was short, the flakes were falling heavily. Worried that Lu Zizheng was dressed too lightly today, Jiang Huaixi reached to take off her coat to shield her. But Lu Zizheng caught her hand as she pulled at the coat, whispering, “It’s only a few steps. Let’s just walk back quickly.”
She looked up at Jiang Huaixi, and Jiang Huaixi looked down at her. Standing face-to-face, they fell into a quiet silence. Jiang Huaixi let go of her coat, lowering her eyes slightly. After a brief pause, she said softly, “Zizheng, if my mother said anything that made things difficult or made you unhappy, I apologize on her behalf. Please don’t take it to heart.”
Lu Zizheng was slightly taken aback. So Jiang Huaixi was still dwelling on this, her worry visible despite the calm exterior she tried to maintain. Jiang Huaixi was always like this—silently, subtly, and constantly releasing her warmth, stirring and touching her heart. Lu Zizheng felt a sting in her nose and a slight ache in her chest. Turning her head to watch the swirling snowflakes, she murmured, “No, don’t worry. Put your coat back on properly before you catch a cold again.”
The snow was falling with growing intensity. If it could keep drifting down like this until nightfall, it would build up enough to make bright, crystalline snowmen again. They could hold hands, braving the long, freezing night together until the warmth of dawn arrived. Lu Zizheng recalled what Jiang Huaixi had told her back then: flowers watered with happiness will never wither.
Mother Jiang’s words had been laced with barbs, a needle hidden in silk—and understandably so. Lu Zizheng had long known this would happen and had prepared herself mentally. The love she wanted to pursue was out of the ordinary, and there would always be such obstacles. With you by my side along the way, even a little bitterness is worth it.
Her heart had stirred for Jiang Huaixi countless times, and she had wavered just as often. If Jiang Huaixi could only give her an reassuring look, a single word of firm commitment, or a brave stance to hold onto, she too could summon infinite courage. For her, for their love, she would gladly hack through thorns and walk through fire, charging forward without ever turning back.
Lu Zizheng walked side-by-side with Jiang Huaixi through the snow. The cold seeped from her face all the way down into her heart.
And yet, she also knew that Jiang Huaixi was just like her. She too was terrified, unable to believe in forever, never knowing whether tomorrow or an accident would come first, or whether a promise or a lie would be fulfilled first. That was why Jiang Huaixi never dared to give her a promise, just as she herself had never dared to respond.
How do two timid people talk about a brave love?
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