Volume Two: Second Scroll
The End of a Memory (2)
Iron shoulders carry morality and justice, a loyal heart forges a police soul.
“Just as they were about to force-feed Su Yue the drugs he’d made with his own hands, Lin Jueshui finally wavered. He picked up a gun from the ground and aimed it at me. And at that moment, reinforcements were late. Zhao Junfeng probably never imagined that in the few minutes he delayed, Song Yiwu would die.”
“The order from police command at the time was to hold their position. Song Yiwu broke away from the main unit by himself to find me. The moment the first shot rang out, he rushed out.”
As Lin Youyuan spoke, he gently closed his eyes, his shoulders trembling slightly.
Outside the screen, Song Yuhang also clenched her jaw, her fingers tightening into a fist. By the time Lin Yan pried her hand open, bloody marks were already imprinted on her palm.
It wasn’t hard to imagine how tragic the scene must have been.
Lin Youyuan dragged his two crippled legs and crawled forward, blood flowing down his pant legs, staining a large patch of ground beneath him red.
He lifted his head. “Ge, Ge, Yiwu-ge, wake up! Wake up! Don’t sleep, don’t you sleep! I’ll take you to a doctor. Saozi and the kids are still waiting for you to come home, Ge!!!”
A man has tears he does not lightly shed1, but on that day, Lin Youyuan cried a lifetime of tears dry.
A ceaseless flow of blood gushed from his body. The bullet had struck his throat, piercing his vocal cords and carotid artery, leaving a scar the size of a bowl.
Lin Youyuan tried to stanch the wound, but Song Yiwu could no longer speak. With every cough, warm, crimson blood flowed through his fingers and onto the ground.
He used his last ounce of strength to grip his hand, managing only to force out a few single syllables. “Go… you… Saozi… kids…”
Lin Youyuan cried out in anguish, nodding desperately. “I know, I know, Ge, don’t talk. I’ll get you out of here, take you home. You’ll be okay, you’ll be okay…”
He spoke as he tried to lift the man, but his legs were completely useless. Song Yiwu’s arm slipped from his grasp, and they both fell into the mud.
“Ge! Ge!!!”
His hysterical cries rang out along with the police sirens. The main unit had finally arrived.
It was a chaotic battle.
Gunshots, explosions, footsteps, the sound of radios… Lin Youyuan heard none of it.
He could only hear his own weeping and Su Yue’s.
He was crying for Song Yiwu, while Su Yue was weeping for the man who had gotten him killed.
“No, Xiao Feng, no, don’t kill him!”
Zhao Junfeng was pointing a gun at him, his eyes bloodshot from the smoke and fire.
“He killed Yiwu-ge! Surrender or die!”
Su Yue threw herself forward and hugged Zhao Junfeng’s leg. “Xiao Feng, Xiao Feng, I’m begging you, let him go. Please, just let him go, okay? No one will see. I promise he’ll never come back, he’ll never do evil again…”
The body of Song Yiwu, cradled in Lin Youyuan’s arms, had already grown cold. The warm blood that had flowed from him failed to melt the ice and snow, instead turning the ground into a layer of hard, frozen earth.
His fingers dug into the blood-soaked soil and found a Molotov cocktail someone had left behind, perhaps dropped by the criminals as they fled in panic.
It was like a slow-motion replay of the moment Lin Jueshui had pulled the trigger on him.
Reflected in Lin Jueshui’s pupils was the same glass bottle, burning as it flew toward him.
The eyes of the two brothers were filled with the same unwillingness, fury, shock, and pain.
As he was engulfed in the sea of fire, Su Yue lunged forward, wanting to return to the end together2 with him, but Zhao Junfeng held her back tightly.
Lin Youyuan watched as his hair and clothes began to burn, as he struggled, shouted, and staggered backward before falling into a pile of grain, where he was swallowed by the inferno.
He cried until he started to laugh, and laughed until he started to cry again.
Lin Youyuan looked up at the goose-feather snow falling thick and fast. The flakes pelting his head and face all carried the stench of blood. At first, he could still see that they were white, but eventually, his vision turned red, then redder, until it was nothing but a boundless black.
The last thing he did before he lost consciousness was pick up Song Yiwu’s service pistol and hide it in his coat.
“It was half a month later when I woke up. During that time, the doctors tried everything they could, but they couldn’t stop the infection and inflammation in my legs. Left with no other choice, they had to amputate. After that, Zhao Junfeng came to see me. According to regulations, the firearms of fallen criminal investigators must all be turned in. I don’t know what method he used to keep Song Yiwu’s pistol, but it was clear that by then, he already had that kind of power.”
The young man had changed into a brand-new uniform; it seemed he’d been promoted again.
Zhao Junfeng placed the pistol on the table. “Yiwu-ge’s gun. I saw you holding it even when you were unconscious, so I brought it for you.”
Lin Youyuan’s dark eyes stared at him, unmoving.
Zhao Junfeng grew a little uncomfortable under his gaze and rubbed his nose. “I also brought you two jars of Huadiao wine3. But we have a deal, alright? You can only drink it after you’ve recovered.”
Lin Youyuan’s gaze fell to the wine jars, then shifted numbly back to his face.
“Why didn’t you come sooner?” He had just woken up and was still very weak, his voice hoarse.
Zhao Junfeng didn’t quite hear him and took a step closer to the bed, intending to pull the blanket up for him.
“Xiao Lin-ge…”
“Don’t you call me Ge!” The man in the bed suddenly became agitated, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him forward until they were face to face, his eyes filled with rage.
“Why… why didn’t you come sooner?!”
He panted, an unhealthy flush rising on his face from the agitation. The IV stand teetered precariously.
“I…” Zhao Junfeng struggled to speak. Before he could finish, the other man fell back limply and began to convulse.
“Doctor, doctor, hurry!” He steadied the man and turned to call for a doctor.
Soon, a group of people in white coats rushed in, pushed him out, and drew the curtain to begin emergency treatment.
Zhao Junfeng stared uselessly at his own hands. They were empty, save for a few calluses. Yet he always felt that from that day on, they were stained with invisible blood.
After a long while, a doctor came out and announced that the resuscitation had been successful. Only then did his hand, which had been hanging in midair, slowly fall to his side.
Zhao Junfeng left after saying, “Take good care of him. If anything happens, call this number,” and turned to leave.
That day, and even now, Lin Youyuan never knew where he had gone.
Zhao Junfeng bought a cheap brand of cigarettes that used to cost five yuan for two packs and got two liang4 of shaojiu5. He went to Su Yue’s home, but the place was already empty.
The dilapidated door was covered in spiderwebs, swaying in the wind. Through the window, he could see the furniture was still there, but the group of young men and women who used to drink and laugh together were gone forever.
He carried the liquor downstairs, past a few children pushing iron hoops, through a long alley, and went straight to the riverbank they always used to visit. This was where they had said goodbye before Lin Youyuan left for Qiongzhou6.
Zhao Junfeng lit a cigarette in the cold wind and placed it on a nearby reef. He also broke the seal on the liquor and left it to air out.
As dusk fell, he would take a drag, and the wind would burn down a section of the cigarette on the reef.
He remembered their last conversation that day.
Lin Youyuan was getting ready to leave and patted his shoulder. “You work hard, kid. I want to see you promoted and rich when I get back. Don’t let people bully you anymore.”
Song Yiwu had slung an arm around his neck and laughed. “Of course. Xiao Feng is smarter than me and knows how to get things done. If he becomes an official, he’ll definitely be a good one.”
And how had the young man at the time replied?
“Yeah. If I become a high-ranking official, I’ll definitely clear Xiao Lin-ge’s name, and I won’t let anyone bully you guys ever again!”
Now, five years later, the young man had fulfilled his promise. He had cleared his friend’s father’s name, personally presided over his good brother’s memorial service, and represented the organization in posthumously conferring upon him the title of “Public Security Hero Model7,” giving him an honor he never received in life. He had even sent the captain who had recruited him to prison with his own hands.
He had known for a long time that his captain was the one connected to the criminal organization. He had chosen to hide his light and nourish obscurity8, waiting for just such an opportunity. The order to hold their position hadn’t actually come from him. At the time, he had just thought, just two minutes, just wait two minutes. If the criminals escaped because of it, his captain would have to bear the responsibility and would for all generations never get to turn over9.
As it turned out, he was right.
Zhao Junfeng took the evidence he had been collecting and reported it directly to his superiors, bypassing the chain of command. His captain was indeed imprisoned.
Today was the day the prosecutor’s office officially issued the warrant for his arrest.
At this thought, the cigarette butt burned Zhao Junfeng’s fingers.
His tears rolled down.
Yiwu-ge, I’ve avenged you.
A gust of wind blew past. The cigarette on the reef flickered, and its ashes drifted like cremains into the river.
“After that, Zhao Junfeng became successful and famous. He was transferred to the narcotics squad and rose through the ranks. I sent people to look for Su Yue, but she had vanished without a word. Relying on the connections I’d built back when I was in the underworld, I started a business. And because I had helped the police before, I was able to eat well on both the black and white roads10, and things quickly took off. Lin Cheng came to my side around that time. By the way, he’s not my biological son. I adopted him from an orphanage. Both his parents died from drug addiction.”
“I adopted him partly for my own reputation, and partly, I suppose, to atone for the sins of my past.”
“At the time, I thought Lin Jueshui was dead. After all, that fire had burned his corpse beyond recognition. So when Lin Ge’s mother came to me with him for help, I didn’t refuse. I looked at the child’s innocent face and thought, this is the only family I have left in the world.”
As the old man spoke, his masseter muscles twitched. Lin Yan could easily see he was gritting his teeth.
“But I never expected that I was helping to raise a tiger to become a disaster11. Do you remember what happened when you were six?”
The events of that summer were so painful that Lin Yan had physiologically chosen to forget them. She never spoke of it to anyone. But at Lin Youyuan’s prompting, the memories came back, enough to push over mountains and overturn the seas12.
It was her third year with the Lin family. She and Lin Ge were very close, and they both attended the elementary and junior high divisions of the same private school.
Because they were so close, Lin Ge would pick her up on his way home from school.
After the final bell rang, Lin Yan waited for a long time under the banyan tree at the school gate, her backpack on. She waited until the sun set and the crowds dispersed, but he never came.
The little girl idly scraped at the dirt on the ground, then picked up a twig to poke at a line of ants moving house.
Suddenly, a pebble hit her on the head.
Lin Yan clutched her head and stood up. “Who’s there? Who hit me?”
Lin Cheng jumped out from behind the tree. “Well, well, how come you’re all alone today? Not going home with Lin Ge?”
“None of your business!” The little girl fiercely threw the twig at him, and it hit his school uniform.
The boy wasn’t annoyed, just frowning impatiently as he brushed the dust off his clothes.
“Hey, it’s about to get dark, and the forecast said it’s going to rain tonight. You want to walk home with me…”
The girl, still remembering how he often bullied her, glared at him with puffed cheeks.
Lin Cheng threw up his hands in exasperation. “I just don’t get it. I’m your brother too, so why are you only nice to him? Fine, fine, if you don’t appreciate it, I’ll go by myself.”
The boy slung his backpack over his shoulder and was about to turn and leave when a shadow fell over him.
He looked up from the tips of the shoes. The man was big and burly, with a scar on his face, and he was looking at him with ill intent.
He turned and yelled at Lin Yan, “Run!”
Before the words were even out, a karate chop to the neck knocked him unconscious. The man grabbed Lin Yan by the collar and lifted her up. She struggled violently and bit down hard on his wrist. He cried out in pain. She fell to the ground, scrambled up, and ran, but she didn’t get more than two steps before she ran into a human wall. She looked up. The person lifted her by the collar and stuffed a handkerchief soaked in some drug into her mouth. She quickly lost consciousness.
When she woke up again, she was in an abandoned factory.
As her memory reached this point, Lin Yan bit her lip lightly, a sheen of moisture in her eyes, her whole body trembling.
Song Yuhang cupped her face and wiped away the tears spilling from the corners of her eyes, murmuring softly, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s all in the past. Don’t think about it anymore…”
Lin Yan shook her head, pulled her hands away, and squeezed them tightly, trying to draw strength from the touch.
She was not one to cry, but as she spoke of this, her voice couldn’t help but choke up.
“No, no, you don’t understand… Lin Ge was always a very punctual person. He wouldn’t be late without a reason. He said his teacher kept him after class, but that wasn’t it, that wasn’t it at all…”
What was Lin Ge doing at that time?
He was a Three-Good Student13 and happened to be on cleaning duty that day. After all the other students had left, he swept the floor, wiped the blackboard clean, and slung on his backpack, ready to leave. Just as he locked the classroom door, he turned and saw a man standing not far away, waiting for him.
It was a completely unfamiliar face. The man wore a baseball cap that obscured his features, and the only part visible, his chin, was covered in scars.
“You are…” The boy glanced at the empty hallway and took a wary step back.
The man looked at the face so similar to his own and tried to make his voice sound as gentle as possible.
“I know about your father. Come with me.”
Lin Ge watched him turn and walk away. After a moment’s hesitation, he followed.
During the half-hour he spent talking with Lin Jueshui, Lin Yan suffered the first great catastrophe of her life.
At that moment, the boy knew nothing. He was immersed in the joy of learning about his father’s past.
His mother and Lin Youyuan had never told him any of this.
As the man was leaving, he asked, “Who… who are you, exactly? What’s your name?”
Lin Jueshui turned back. He seemed to want to reach out and pat his head, but then thought it would be too abrupt and pulled his hand back.
“Call me Ding Ye.”
A strong sense of reluctance welled up in Lin Ge. “Will we meet again?”
The man said faintly, “We will. Whenever you need me. Also, don’t tell anyone about today, especially not your uncle. You need to be extremely wary of him. He’s not as easy to get along with as he appears.”
By the time Lin Ge hurried back to the school gate, the sun had already set. Lin Yan’s backpack was lying on the ground.
“Lin Cheng’s death was indeed an accident. The autopsy report showed that he was hit in the temple with a blunt object during a struggle, a single fatal blow…” Lin Youyuan rubbed his brow.
“Forget it, let’s not talk about it. When you get old, you tend to think about the past. Let’s continue. After you were rescued, the police checked the surveillance cameras near the school. They found that during the time Lin Ge was supposed to meet you and go home, he had followed another man into a surveillance blind spot. Although it was just a blurry figure from behind, I still felt it might be him. He was back. A huge wave of fear washed over me.”
By this point, Lin Yan already understood.
Lin Ge felt guilty toward her, which was why he later went to extremes to be good to her, granting her almost every request and doing everything a brother could possibly do. This guilt even grew into a twisted sense of protectiveness and possessiveness, which in turn led to all the subsequent tragedies, including Chunan’s death.
And as for Lin Youyuan? Because of this unknown fear, and to protect his only blood relative, he was forced to sacrifice his own familial affection and gradually distance himself from her.
Was that really how it was?
Lin Yan had only guessed half of it right.
Even though several years had passed since her kidnapping, and both she and Lin Ge had transferred to other schools.
The boy would still often hear voices like this:
“Hey, Lin Ge, tell your little sister to come out and play with us. It’s not like she has anything to do this weekend.”
“Yeah, yeah, a little school sister, so tender,” someone chimed in.
“She has tutoring on the weekend.” The boy calmly packed his books into his bag and stood up to leave.
A classmate with ill intentions grabbed his backpack strap.
“What’s with the act? Everyone knows your sister was already… when she was just in elementary school.”
Before he could finish, a fist slammed into his nose.
The classmate fell backward, knocking over several desks. He wiped the blood from his nose. “Fuck, get him!”
A flurry of punches and kicks. Lin Ge fell to the ground, protecting his head. He didn’t know who kicked him viciously in the lower abdomen a few times.
His vision went black. Someone lifted a stool and smashed it down on his lower body. An immense pain shot through him, and the boy cried out.
No one knew about this except for Lin Ge’s mother. He never told Lin Yan, not even up to his death, that he was actually disabled.
As for his relationship with Lin Yan, it wasn’t that Lin Youyuan hadn’t thought about mending it. But he was too busy with work and had no time. By the time he came to his senses, Lin Yan had already shot up like a wild weed in the wind.
After that incident, Lin Yan became even harder to get close to. On top of that, she was entering her rebellious teenage years, her personality defiant, arrogant, and disdainful of everyone.
And how could Lin Youyuan, a middle-aged man who, though in his forties, had not yet learned how to love someone, possibly know how to raise a daughter?
He racked his brains but could only resort to the methods he used in the business world: give her money, give her everything she wanted, even the stars in the sky. But at that time, these were precisely the things Lin Yan scorned the most.
In this way, the two of them drifted further and further apart, never growing close, not even in death.
Of course, it was undeniable that Lin Youyuan had intentionally allowed this rift to widen. Only then would Lin Yan be safer.
He knew very well that his own abilities were limited, and after he was gone, there would be no one left to protect Lin Yan. She could only rely on her own strength.
When fledgling eagles are born and cannot yet fly, their parents will pick them up and drop them from a cliff. Only the fledglings that adapt to this change and successfully take flight can survive.
This was survival of the fittest, natural selection. It was also a twisted and deformed kind of love.
This kind of love can make a person strong, but it can also ruin their entire life.
Hearing this, Lin Yan really wanted to ask him: Do you regret it? What if I had fallen to my death?
The old man on the screen smiled and leaned back in his wheelchair, a peaceful expression on his face.
“The day Song Yuhang took you away from me, I was actually very happy. Lin Yan, you’ve grown up. You have your own place to belong now. You’re no longer that fledgling eagle, stumbling as it learns to fly.”
After saying this, he coughed lightly twice and returned to the topic.
“I originally just wanted to say goodbye to you, but I didn’t realize I’d end up saying so much. You’ve probably already guessed what I’m going to say next.”
Lin Yan’s pupils contracted. As she expected.
“It’s about Chen Chunan. You must be very curious why I didn’t kick Lin Ge out of the family to prevent future trouble. But the truth is, if you were my age, you would have made the same decision. First, there was no conclusive evidence that the blurry figure was Lin Jueshui. Second, Lin Ge grew up with me. I considered him, his mother, and you all as one family. I couldn’t abandon my own family over a baseless suspicion.”
As he spoke, Lin Yan was trembling slightly. Song Yuhang had no choice but to hold her tighter, resting her chin on the top of her head, giving her strength in this way.
“The most I could do was send him abroad to study, to keep him far away from everything in your life. I didn’t even let him come back for the Spring Festival. But thinking back now, I gave you and him enough money, but never enough care.”
“The summer of your eighteenth birthday was an exception. Lin Ge secretly booked a flight and came back to celebrate your coming-of-age ceremony. I guess you know by now. Chen Chunan did indeed die at his hands, but his accomplice was Lin Jueshui.”
Lin Yan remembered everything that happened that day with a clarity that not even the annihilation of her soul could erase.
June 18th. Her birthday, and the day her college acceptance letter arrived.
A light drizzle had been falling since morning, and by the afternoon, it had turned into a torrential downpour.
After lunch, she went to the martial arts hall to practice Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. She had plans to meet Chunan at school in about two hours, and then they would go see a movie and eat hot pot in the evening. Since they would be going their separate ways after the summer, they had also planned to go drinking and sing karaoke, not going home until they were drunk.
Two hours later, the rain intensified. She held her jacket over her head and stood under the eaves to take shelter. Her phone had 5% battery left. She made one last call to Chunan.
“Hello, Lin Yan?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Are you on your way to school?”
She could hear the sound of raindrops hitting an umbrella.
Chen Chunan clutched her schoolbag, walking through the puddles. “Yeah, where are you?”
“I’m at the entrance of the martial arts hall. The rain’s too heavy, I might be a little late,” Lin Yan replied, checking her watch.
The other girl laughed, her good mood undampened even by the downpour, her voice as sweet as ever.
“It’s okay! I’m almost there. How about I pick yours up for you too? You don’t have to come over. Your house isn’t far from the school anyway, so just go straight home.”
“How can I do that? You’re all alone…”
The girl laughed. “It’s a special privilege only for the birthday girl.”
Her phone was about to die. Lin Yan glanced at her watch, then at an unlocked bicycle parked nearby.
She gritted her teeth and ran for it. “Fine. Then wait for me at my gate. I’ll have the butler come down and get you.”
After hanging up, she tried to call the butler, but as she wiped the rain from her phone, she realized the screen had gone black. It was out of battery.
“Fuck.”
Lin Yan cursed under her breath, stuffed the phone in her pocket, and started cycling home.
When she got home, the person she was eagerly expecting was not at the gate. Lin Yan was soaked to the bone. She ran inside.
“Chunan, where’s Chunan?”
“Have you seen Chunan, my classmate?”
“A girl about my age, tall and thin, have you seen her?”
She asked the butler, the servants, the cleaners, and even ran next door to ask Lin Ge. The answer was always the same: they hadn’t seen her; no such person had come.
As she was panicking, it was Lin Ge who comforted her.
“Don’t be scared. Maybe the rain’s too heavy and she’s still at school. I’ll send someone to look for her.”
Lin Yan nodded numbly and used another phone to call her repeatedly, but it was always turned off.
And in her anxiety, she had overlooked the small speck of blood on his cuff.
She searched for a long time that day, from the school to their usual haunts—the convenience store, the bookstore, the coffee shop, the movie theater, even the riverbank. But there was no sign of her, and no one had seen her.
It was as if Chen Chunan had vanished into thin air.
That evening, Chunan’s mother reported her missing. Three days later, in the morgue, she saw her dismembered body.
Lin Yan had used technical means to save that last phone call from Chunan.
She often played it over and over.
“Hello, Lin Yan?”
“It’s okay! Your house isn’t far from the school anyway…”
“It’s a special privilege only for the birthday girl.”
“Beep, beep, beep…”
At that moment, what had the girl who had just wished her well gone through?
This was what Lin Jueshui later confessed.
That day, taking advantage of Lin Youyuan’s absence, he had, as usual, brought his most successful experiment to find Lin Ge.
By then, Lin Ge was an adult and had taken over some of the Lin family’s overseas business. He needed to use this connection to sell his products to various countries abroad for a profit.
In a remote, deserted corner outside the Lin residence.
Lin Ge pulled him aside. “Why are you here again?”
Lin Jueshui took off his mask. “What, I can’t come?”
Lin Ge swallowed. “Uncle Lin is coming back today. If you have something to say, say it quickly. I have to celebrate my sister’s birthday tonight.”
The man took out a blue test tube. “This. Put it in your sister’s drink. I guarantee she’ll…”
“Um, excuse me, is this Lin Yan’s house? Hey, isn’t that the Lin family’s older brother? Looks like I’m in the right place. I’m here to give Lin Yan…”
The girl had stumbled upon their secret.
Both men whipped their heads around. Lin Ge immediately recognized her as Lin Yan’s classmate; he had occasionally given her a ride when he picked his sister up from school.
A cold glint flashed. Lin Jueshui had already pulled a knife from his pocket.
Lin Ge lunged forward. “Don’t! She’s Lin Yan’s friend!”
“But she saw my face!” the man hissed in a low, furious voice.
The expression on Chen Chunan’s face changed. She pulled her phone from her pocket and started to run, but she never got to dial for help.
The man shook off Lin Ge, caught up to her in three strides, and plunged the knife into her back. When a bodyguard patrolling near the Lin residence looked over, he dragged her into the bushes.
The rain diluted the blood on the ground, and it quickly mixed with the dirty water and flowed into the sewer.
As Lin Yan cycled up to her gate, she happened to pass by the garbage truck carrying Chunan’s body. The drivers were Lin Jueshui and his subordinate in disguise.
That night, Lin Yan was taken to the police station for questioning. Lin Ge, meanwhile, slipped away from everyone and went to Lin Jueshui’s residence in Jiangcheng City.
He grabbed him by the collar and roared, “Where did you hide her? Come with me and turn yourself in!”
Lin Jueshui slapped his hand away, straightened his collar, and sneered. Looking at the boy’s frantic face, he suddenly had a brilliant idea.
“Killing that girl, doesn’t that play right into your hands? Don’t think I can’t see those feelings you have for Lin Yan. I can turn myself in, but can you get away clean? If you go to jail, how are you going to protect your sister? Besides, your money, your education, your status… you’re only twenty-five. Are you going to throw away the rest of your life?”
Watching the young man stagger back two steps, his face a mask of panic, Lin Jueshui laughed with satisfaction.
He just wanted to disgust Lin Youyuan to death. And what could be more disgusting than the child he had raised as his own being a murderer?
What could be more disgusting than a brother falling in love with his own cousin?
So-called brotherly affection had been burned to ashes along with the flames the moment he had laid a hand on Su Yue and thrown that Molotov cocktail at him. The one who had survived by a fluke was a demon.
He wanted Lin Youyuan to live in his shadow for the rest of his life, for his family to know no peace, for him to be torn from his wife and children.
With these thoughts, Lin Jueshui slung an arm around his shoulder and led him into the house. “Those who achieve great things don’t sweat the small stuff. I hear you studied medicine. Come on, show me what you can do. I’ve already made arrangements. As long as we destroy the body and clean up properly, no one will ever find out it was us.”
What they did could indeed be described as heavenly clothes have no seams14. In that era, surveillance cameras were not yet widespread. There was no on-site video, no eyewitnesses, and no DNA testing technology. Any traces left at the scene were washed clean by the heavy rain.
Lin Jueshui used his connections to find a Butcher Zhu, who had a grudge against Chen Chunan’s family, to be the scapegoat. This, of course, was all part of the plan.
“I know all of this was an accident. When Lin Ge disposed of the body, he wasn’t entirely unseen. A sanitation worker who was working near the trash cans that day witnessed everything and even lent a hand. He was chatting with someone and unintentionally revealed that Lin Ge had thrown away a very large suitcase that day, filled with many books, and it was dead heavy.”
“When I found out, I gave him some money and sent him back to his village to live out his golden years. He passed away from illness not long after.”
Lin Youyuan looked up at her as he spoke.
“A complete stranger, versus the nephew you raised with your own hands. If it were you, who would you choose?”
Lin Yan could no longer hold back. She raised her hand and violently threw the laptop. It hit the wall, tumbled to the floor, and shattered into pieces, a spiderweb of cracks spreading across the screen.
Her eyes red, she panted and roared at the empty air, “You hid this from me for fourteen years! Fourteen years! Then what was the point of my painstaking search all this time?!”
“Chunan’s mom traveled all over China to find her, finally returning to her hometown, driven mad with grief! What was that for?!”
“And the person who died at eighteen, who will never live again! What was she for?!”
Words weren’t enough. Seeing the laptop still flickering, she leaped from the bed to smash it to bits.
“You feel sorry for the nephew you raised, but who feels sorry for Chunan? She was so good, so outstanding, so full of hope for the future! She was only eighteen… eighteen!”
“We promised to celebrate our birthdays together, to stay in touch even if we went our separate ways, to travel together at least once a year if we could. We were going to buy houses next to each other and be neighbors, best friends for life. If we had kids, a boy and a girl, we’d arrange a childhood betrothal15. If not, we’d make them sworn siblings…”
“Lin Youyuan, you’re a murderer too! A murderer!!!”
Song Yuhang wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her tightly in her embrace to prevent her from getting hurt by the sharp fragments.
Lin Yan kicked and punched and bit, trying to break free, but eventually, she cried herself to exhaustion.
Song Yuhang gently patted her back to soothe her breathing. They just sat there on the floor together.
The overburdened laptop emitted a final crackle of static, its screen flickering. Lin Yan could no longer see his face clearly.
“Yanyan, Daddy is sorry. Come home. I left something for you under the swing set in the old house.”
“Lin Youyuan, you bastard! You… don’t you go… c-come back!”
Lin Yan stretched out her arm, reaching for him. Before her fingertips could touch the screen, the laptop breathed its last.
“Lin Youyuan, you get back here! Get back here and explain yourself! Why?! Why do you get to just walk away after doing so many wrong things?! Don’t even think about it! Don’t you dare! I won’t let you have any peace! I’ll make sure you can’t even rest in peace…”
Lin Yan muttered incoherently, grabbing whatever she could find on the floor and throwing it. “Say something… say something…”
By the end, her voice was thick with tears.
“Lin Yan!” Song Yuhang said her name, her tone sharp. She cupped her face, forcing her to focus on her.
“He’s already dead. Lin Ge is dead too. Lin Jueshui has been executed, and Zhao Junfeng is also dead. They’ve all paid the price for what they did. Lin Yan, stop torturing yourself… Stop torturing yourself…”
As their eyes met, Lin Yan finally seemed to regain some semblance of sanity from her frenzied state.
But when she saw the tears glistening in Song Yuhang’s eyes, she began to cry uncontrollably again.
Song Yuhang waited until she had cried her fill, then carried her to the shower.
Lin Yan was like an exquisite porcelain doll, letting herself be moved about.
Song Yuhang ran her fingers through her hair, drying it for her.
Lin Yan said, “You said they all paid the price for what they did. They took a bullet, but what about the others?”
Lin Yan, who, for the sake of revenge, had stubbornly turned the first half of her life into a living hell.
Chen Chunan’s mother, who had wandered across half of China in search of the truth, only to die a desolate death in her hometown.
The butcher who died unjustly in prison. Guo Xiaoguang and his mother, who lived the rest of their lives in fear under assumed names.
Even those who were already dead.
The people she had personally autopsied, the names written on the thousand paper cranes.
Bai Ling.
Wu Wei.
He Miao.
Ding Xue.
Li Shiping.
…
Who would compensate them for their youth, for the vibrant lives they once lived?
Song Yuhang was at a loss for words. She put down the hair dryer, pulled her into her arms, and kissed the top of her head, comforting her.
She thought that even the world’s smartest philosopher, even Socrates himself, probably couldn’t answer that question.
But that was okay. She could say something else. For example: I love you.
Lin Yan, tired from her outburst and having cried herself out, finally fell asleep in her arms.
Song Yuhang’s phone, left on the bedside table, vibrated. She reached for it. The sky outside was bright. The photographer had sent them the wedding photos they had taken.
She scrolled through them one by one and chose the one where Lin Yan’s smile was the brightest. She posted it with a caption:
My dearest forensic pathologist, don’t cry.
For the sake of loving you, I am willing to pay any price. This vow is valid for life and open for inspection.
After returning from Saipan16, Lin Yan soon received a call from the auction house. They had made progress on the Lin residence she had entrusted to them for auction before she left, and they asked her to come and pack up her things.
As the ornate iron gate slowly opened before her, Lin Yan could almost see the bustling crowds of the past.
Lin Youyuan being pushed out by the butler, followed by a large group of elite professionals in suits.
Two half-grown children playing in the garden, a nanny chasing after them.
“Lin Ge, hurry up, let’s go play over there.”
“Miss, Miss, stop running! You can’t catch the goldfish in the pond! The master paid a lot of money for them…”
Just as the nanny was about to catch up, the little girl splashed water from the pond all over her and ran off with a wriggling goldfish in her arms. But she slipped on some moss and took a fall like a dog gnawing on mud17.
The goldfish flopped on the ground.
The girl had fallen beside the wheelchair and was lifted up by one hand.
Lin Youyuan’s face was cold as he said in a deep voice, “Take her away. Solitary confinement. Don’t let her out until she knows she was wrong.”
“Let go of me, let go of me… you bastard!”
…
Lin Yan blinked, and the images vanished.
Song Yuhang took her hand and led her inside. “Where’s the swing set?”
Lin Yan’s eyes were downcast. “In the back garden.”
Behind the Lin family mansion was a man-made forest, planted with sweet osmanthus, camphor, birch, and ginkgo trees. Each season had its own scenery. The wind rustled through the leaves.
Because it had been untended, the fallen leaves from last autumn and winter had formed a layer of soft, decaying soil underfoot.
The two of them walked, their feet sinking into the ground.
The swing set was under a birch tree, covered in dust, swaying slightly in the air.
Lin Yan stroked a mark on the trunk of the birch tree beside it. “There wasn’t a swing set here originally…”
“Then…” Song Yuhang asked curiously.
Lin Yan smiled. “When Lin Ge and I were little, we were playing here and suddenly decided to tie a rope to the tree to make a swing. We didn’t have any safety measures, and I ended up falling with four feet facing the sky18.”
“The next day, this swing set was put up.”
Song Yuhang used a tissue to wipe the dust off the seat. “Want to have a seat?”
Lin Yan’s gaze dropped from the swing set to the thick layer of fallen leaves below. “No,” she said softly. “Let’s dig.”
Song Yuhang found a shovel. Lin Yan found a thick branch and started to dig with it, but she was pulled away.
“You don’t have to. Just wait here. It won’t take long.”
About ten minutes later, beads of sweat had formed on Song Yuhang’s forehead. Her shovel hit something and wouldn’t go any further.
She tossed the shovel aside and started digging with her hands.
“Found it.”
The two of them pulled out a rusted iron box.
Song Yuhang wiped the dirt off it and handed it to her. “This must be it.”
Lin Yan reached out, then hesitated. After a moment, with Song Yuhang’s encouragement, she finally took the box and pried it open.
A dozen gold bars fell out, along with a yellowed photograph.
In the photo, Lin Youyuan stood on a reef with his arms around his two good brothers. Su Yue was leaning against the reef, tugging on Lin Youyuan’s collar, making his expression a bit distorted and funny, but everyone was smiling.
That undisguised, bright smile made Lin Yan’s eyes well up. She turned the photo over.
A line of text was written on the back: I’m sorry, Lin Yan. This is the only picture of your mother that Daddy has.
Don’t blame your mother for the name she gave you. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have given birth to you, much less left you to me as she was dying.
When you see this, it means Daddy is gone. The gold bars are for you, in case of an emergency. But I hope you never have to use them.
Finally, Yanyan… Daddy loves you.
It was signed with the three characters for Lin Youyuan.
Lin Yan stared and stared, tears quickly gathering in her eyes.
From the bottom of the box, Song Yuhang pulled out a few wooden sticks and the tattered scraps of paper attached to them.
“This is…”
With just one glance, Lin Yan recognized what it was.
“Lin Ge, do you think he’ll like it?”
“He will. The lantern our Yanyan made is the most beautiful lantern in the world.”
“To play with things and lose one’s ambition19. Take it and throw it away. From today on, you are not allowed to go out and play.”
…
The lantern that should have been thrown in the trash was here instead.
The red-painted paper had faded, and the frame was broken. It was no different from trash, yet he had kept it with his gold bars, his treasures, and buried it here with such solemnity, giving her the answer she had wanted for so long.
Lin Yan knelt on the ground, clutching the box, her shoulders trembling slightly.
Song Yuhang pulled her into her arms, gently patting her back.
“Is there anything else you want to get?”
Lin Yan shook her head.
Song Yuhang cupped her face and wiped away her tears.
“Then let’s go. Mom is waiting for us to come home for dinner.”
One month later.
On the day Song Yuhang was to report back to the Municipal Public Security Bureau, Lin Yan also woke up early.
She leaned against a table with a cup of coffee, staring blankly at the closet. Song Yuhang passed behind her and placed a plate on the table.
“What’s wrong? Breakfast is ready, hurry up and eat. Don’t you have to go back to Technical Investigation soon?”
Lin Yan: “I’m thinking about what to wear.”
Song Yuhang smiled, took the coffee cup from her hand, and squeezed her cheek. “You look good in anything. Of course, you look even better with nothing…”
A blush crept up Lin Yan’s face, and the corners of her lips curved into a slight smile. She pushed him away. “You’re about to be a Bureau Chief, and you’re still so shameless.”
Song Yuhang wasn’t annoyed. She pulled out a chair for her and set out her bowl and chopsticks. “What Bureau Chief? In front of you, I only have one identity: your lover.”
Lin Yan picked up a piece of sandwich and took a bite. “Mm, not bad. If you’re not a cop one day, you could be a chef.”
Song Yuhang served her a bowl of milk oatmeal porridge, a smile always on her lips.
“Practice makes perfect. If you like it, eat more.”
While she was washing the dishes, Lin Yan shrieked from the closet, “Song Yuhang, I’ve gotten fat again!!!”
The despair in her voice was unmistakable.
Song Yuhang turned and shouted back, “Fat is good! It’s healthy, and feels better to the touch…”
Before she could finish, she froze.
Lin Yan was wearing her old police uniform. The light blue regulation shirt was worn with a tie, the top button fastened, and a spring-and-autumn jacket over it. The uniform was impeccably ironed, with a slightly cinched waist that accentuated her long legs and slim figure, giving her a heroic and dashing air.
The color and style of the uniform were quite old-fashioned. On anyone else, it would look staid and ascetic.
But on Lin Yan, Song Yuhang wanted to rip it off her.
Lin Yan was still fidgeting, picking at a loose thread. “This uniform fit me just fine last year. How come it feels so small this year? It’s uncomfortable everywhere.”
Song Yuhang shook the water from her hands, walked over, and lifted her up, pecking at her lips. “Mm, let me inspect the goods. It’s time for a new one.”
Lin Yan was placed on the dining table. Panting, she righted her head. “We have to report in at ten, and we still have to go to the cemetery.”
Song Yuhang licked her lips, wanting more. She buttoned up the shirt she had unbuttoned. “Alright, we’ll continue when we get back.”
West Suburb Cemetery, Jiangcheng City.
Lin Youyuan was buried here.
As Lin Yan walked over with a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, she was surprised to see someone was already there.
Feng Jianguo unscrewed a bottle of good liquor, poured some out, and placed the rest in front of the tombstone.
Lin Yan: “What are you doing here?”
He heard the footsteps behind him but didn’t turn around.
“To say goodbye.”
Lin Yan scoffed, placed the white chrysanthemums in front of the tombstone, and prepared to leave.
Feng Jianguo stood his ground. “You still can’t forgive him? He may not have been a good father, but he was definitely a competent informant, an unsung hero.”
Lin Yan took two steps back and stood straight, looking at the black-and-white photo on his tombstone. She said faintly,
“I can forgive him, but can my mother forgive him? Can the eighteen-year-old Lin Yan forgive him? Can the deceased Chunan and her mother forgive him? Can Butcher Zhu, who died unjustly in prison, forgive him? Can Guo Xiaoguang and his mother, who lived in hiding for most of their lives, forgive him?”
“If he had exposed Lin Ge sooner, maybe those innocent people wouldn’t have died.”
“What right do I have to forgive him on behalf of these people?”
“When a crime is committed and a body is laid before me, it means a vibrant life has been permanently paused. Whether it’s him or Lin Ge, or anyone else.”
“I will never forgive.”
Song Yuhang walked up behind her and gently patted her shoulder.
Lin Yan turned to her and gave a bitter smile, then shifted her gaze back to the tombstone and took a medal from her chest.
“However, as a forensic pathologist and a people’s police officer, I sincerely thank him for all his efforts in eradicating the drug trafficking syndicate. Both in the past and now, thousands of families have been spared because of him. This medal of merit… half of it should be his.”
Lin Yan bowed slightly and placed her own medal of merit in front of the offerings.
The candle flames flickered. The morning sun shone brightly. The three people in front of the tombstone raised their right hands to their temples in a salute.
Municipal Public Security Bureau.
The news that Song Yuhang was about to take office as the Deputy Bureau Chief of the Jiangcheng Public Security Bureau had long since begun to walk without legs20. This was a case where when the reality arrives, the name returns21. Before she even arrived, Duan Cheng and the others were already beginning to rub fists and wipe palms22, ready to give her a proper celebration.
When she got out of the car and pushed open the office door, she was greeted by a sea of flowers, balloons, and streamers. Several people were even wearing welcome sashes.
The one on the left read: The vast sea lets the fish leap, the high sky lets the birds fly. Congratulations Captain Song on your petty success, may you achieve even greater things!
The one on the right read: Today is better than yesterday, each day more wonderful than the last. Captain Song, the turned serf, sings a song of joy!
Lin Yan was about to die laughing. “What is all this nonsense!”
Song Yuhang shot her a glare, her face turning shades of green and white. “What a mess! I want this cleaned up in three minutes. All personnel, meeting in the conference room. Anyone late will have their salary and performance bonus for the month docked!”
The group stared at each other, then dropped everything and began to scatter like birds and beasts.
“Wait for me, wait for me!”
“No, why won’t this sash come off!” Duan Cheng was sweating with anxiety. “Fang Xin, Fang Xin, help me! Xin! Xin!”
Amid his wails, Fang Xin had already begun to smear oil on the soles of his feet23. He picked up a cup of tea and hurried toward the conference room.
“Are you trying to summon a ghost?! Get it off yourself!”
Duan Cheng was heartbroken. “You were in on it too when we came up with the idea…”
Lin Yan picked up a pen and a folder from her desk, walked past her, and with a charming smile, tapped the folder against her chest.
“My, what a grand display, Bureau Chief Song.”
Song Yuhang smiled slightly and walked with her toward the conference room, deliberately leaning in to whisper in her ear, “These little rascals are used to messing around with me. If I don’t give them a show of might upon dismounting the horse24, how will I manage them later… In the meeting, give me some face.”
Despite her words, Lin Yan, with her explosive temper, still blew up the moment their opinions clashed during the meeting. And she was the only one who dared to challenge Song Yuhang. One was the Deputy Bureau Chief of Public Security, the other the Chief Forensic Pathologist, their spit flying.
It was as if they had returned to two years ago, when they were like a needle’s point against a wheat awn25.
The crowd of onlookers below trembled: Who am I? Where am I? What’s happening? Am I in a meeting or am I eating dog food26?
In the afternoon, Song Yuhang’s office was also tidied up. A young police officer was about to take down a plaque. The new leader was young; she probably wouldn’t like such old-fashioned things.
But he never expected that Song Yuhang was standing right behind him, staring intently at the words on the plaque:
Iron shoulders carry morality and justice, a loyal heart forges a police soul.
These were the words Zhao Junfeng had left for Feng Jianguo. He, in turn, had hung them back up in the office, perfectly intact, and hadn’t taken them with him when he left to report to the provincial department.
The young officer struggled to hold the plaque horizontally, about to carry it out, when a hand firmly steadied him.
Song Yuhang: “Leave it. Hang it back where it was.”
The author has something to say:
Officially starting the countdown to the finale~
Thank you for reading, see you another day.
LP: Re-translated on October 22, 2025
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