Broken
The familiar nursery outside the villa had grown over with weeds due to neglect. Song Yuhang verified her fingerprint, and with a “beep,” the iron gate slid open.
She leaned on the door, moving falteringly inside, thinking she would see her sitting in the courtyard, but to her dismay, there was no one.
Her eyes brimmed with tears as she aimlessly drifted around the yard, muttering to herself.
“Lin Yan, Yanyan, come out, stop hiding from me…” her voice hoarse, she pushed open the glass doors of the hall.
The window decals they had put up before leaving were still there, lending the house a cheerfulness it no longer held.
But the fresh flowers in the vase had withered away, slumped over, emitting an aura of death.
The once bright and shiny furniture was now covered with a layer of dust.
At the doorway, two pairs of couple’s slippers were still placed on the shoe rack.
Song Yuhang pulled open the wardrobe, rummaging through the mountain of clothes: “Lin Yan, stop hiding, this game isn’t fun at all…”
The vast wardrobe was eerily quiet, her clothes all hung up neatly, as if nobody had touched them.
Staggering, Song Yuhang dashed out, scurried through the kitchen, bathroom, shower room, gym, and even her laboratory to search.
The air still carried traces of her scent, but she was nowhere to be found.
Song Yuhang was on the verge of breaking down in this prolonged search, tears streaming down her face without her realizing as she hunted around. She fell once again at the foot of the stairs, clenched her teeth, and climbed toward the second floor, as if clinging to her last shred of hope.
“You’re such a mess; last time, a guy ran up and down these stairs carrying me naked.”
“Blame me? Wait till I get better and give it a try.”
“There’s a bathroom upstairs.”
“But I want to go downstairs.”
(Originally translated on littlepandatranslations.com, let's go!)
As she climbed, she seemed to see the towering figure of the police officer carrying the petite woman past her.
Song Yuhang curved her lips into a smile, reaching out to capture the image, but it vanished again.
Lin Yan’s bedroom door was just a stone’s throw away.
She came to a halt, as if stricken with a case of stage fright. Pulling a ring box from her pants pocket, she hesitated, pondering the right gesture and expression to present it to her.
Song Yuhang wiped away her tears with her sleeve and tried to muster a smile, clutching the tiny ring box, talking to herself.
“Lin Yan, Yanyan… marry me… No, that’s not right. Do I kneel first, or do I say it and then kneel…”
“Will she like it? Or will she find it too cheap…” Song Yuhang looked down at the cuff of her hospital gown and had an epiphany.
“Is this all too rushed?” She hesitated, smoothing down her hair, trying to tidy up her disheveled clothes.
“Why did I even come here dressed like this… I should go back, take a shower, and change my clothes…”
Song Yuhang murmured to herself.
A draft breezed through, and with a gentle “creak,” it nudged the unlatched door open.
Her heart almost leapt into her throat. Without looking, she closed her eyes, hands presenting the ring box, completely forgetting the script she had prepared earlier.
“Lin… Lin Yan… to marry… No, not that, I want to marry you… that’s not it either… Marry… marry me…”
Her tongue seemed to be in knots, leaving her proposal all jumbled and reversed.
With her eyes shut, Song Yuhang’s heart pounded like a drum, waiting for an answer.
But she waited and waited until her legs went numb, with only the wind howling in the hallway.
Tears began to fall before she even opened her eyes.
“I know I don’t have much money, can’t give you the fanciest diamond ring, and I’m just a humble cop, so I can’t provide you with a lavish life. But I’ll work hard, really hard. I’ll give you all my earnings, my savings, the deed to my house, my housing fund, my social security card… you can have it all.”
“I can also give you a ton of love, the most attentive kind, with all I have, an incomparable love.”
“I don’t need anything in return, and I don’t want you to feel pressured. All I want is for you to understand that I’m willing to do this wholeheartedly.”
These words should have been shared with her a long time ago, but now they could only be poured into the emptiness.
Taking a step forward, Song Yuhang stretched out her arms: “Lin Yan, if you’re willing, could you give me a hug?”
No one answered her.
The wind slipped into her embrace, bringing a chill with it.
Song Yuhang managed a forced smile, “It’s okay, you… don’t hide… I can come and hug you instead.”
She took another step forward, her toes bumping into something solid. Overwhelmed with joy, she reached out eagerly, tumbling into softness.
Excitedly, she flung back the covers: “Lin Yan—”
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Her smile suddenly froze on her face.
Like she was out of her mind, she flipped the bedding upside down.
Sheets, duvet covers, pillows all fell to the floor—still no sign.
Song Yuhang’s eyes reddened as she checked under the bed: “Lin Yan, don’t hide anymore…”
Still nothing.
Her lips trembling, heartbroken, she quickly scrambled up and yanked open her wardrobe.
“Stop hiding, stop hiding, I won’t propose anymore, I’ve dropped it… can you come out, please?”
The spacious room was tidy, with actually not many places to hide.
Song Yuhang gave it a quick once-over, when a breeze caused the door to rattle, she stumbled out in a rush.
“Lin Yan!”
The corridor was deserted.
She then ran to her study, her favorite place, and pushed the door open with excitement, only to be met with emptiness again.
On the desk lay a paper crane, not yet folded perfectly, left unsigned.
Song Yuhang carefully picked it up and cradled it in her arms.
“It’s folded by you, right? You must still be here, right?” Looking at the blue paper crane, she slapped her forehead and dashed out the door.
“That’s right, the attic, the attic, she must be there.”
This is Lin Yan’s secret base, always locked up.
Song Yuhang didn’t have the key, so she desperately slammed her shoulder against the wooden door. Dust fell from above, turning her jet-black hair a dusty gray.
Her shoulder ached fiercely, quickly wearing raw to the point where the thin fabric soaked up a trace of blood.
Song Yuhang’s strength drained away, and she collapsed to the ground, clenching her teeth in heart-wrenching pain.
“Fine, you won’t come out, will you? Then I, I will just…” She looked around, then got up from the ground.
“I’ll throw away all your favorite clothes, and your makeup, pour out the booze from your cabinet, and your origami cranes…”
“You don’t want… don’t want them anymore?”
Song Yuhang, receiving no reply, started to throw a tantrum like a child denied a beloved toy, irrationally wrecking havoc in her house.
She messed up her room, tossing clothes from the walk-in closet onto the floor, pulling out expensive red wines from the liquor cabinet to drink and spill as she choked and coughed.
Tears streaming down, she slumped against the cupboard, looking at the chaos on the floor: “Don’t you want… even me anymore?”
That night, she lost count of how many times she ran up and down the stairs, how many bottles of red wine she opened, how many tears she shed.
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Until at last, taking a sledgehammer to smash open the attic door, it was still devoid of anyone. Exhausted, she just clutched a wine bottle and lay down on the cold floor, falling asleep.
The next morning, Song Yuhang woke up with a headache, and seeing the mess all around, she was filled with regret again.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Yanyan, I gotta clean this up quick, otherwise she’ll be upset if she sees this mess…”
She muttered to herself while picking up clothes scattered near the doorway, only to be caught off-guard as a pair of leather shoes stepped on them, making them impossible to pick up.
Following the line of the crisply pressed trousers upward, her smile froze on her face.
The person in front stood in a suit and leather shoes, uniform neat, with a prosecutor’s badge on the chest, and held out an ID towards her.
“Jiangcheng City People’s Procuratorate. By law, we are sealing the assets of the deceased Lin Yan, who was the forensic doctor at Jiangcheng City Public Security Bureau’s Technical Investigation Division. Please do not interfere with our official duties.”
Song Yuhang was stunned, watching his mouth open and close, she couldn’t make out a word he said. She only heard “the deceased.”
She sprang to her feet and grabbing the officer’s collar she yelled, “Deceased?! What do you mean ‘deceased’? Spit it out, what the f*ck are you talking about?!”
Her hair was a mess, and she reeked of alcohol—no one could recognize her as the once spirited and vigorous Song Yuhang, Captain Song.
When she became aggressive, a few bailiffs rushed over to restrain her.
Song Yuhang watched with wide eyes as they inventoried Lin Yan’s possessions, carrying things out of the house.
Her designer handbags, luxury clothes, expensive high heels, the cellar-stored red wine…
Even some small items.
A vase that was accidentally knocked over, the candlestick bought together, decorative pieces, the tablecloth yanked into disarray, and the shoe rack pulled down—couple’s slippers lying on the floor, their fluffy bunny ears getting trampled and dirtied.
Song Yuhang’s eyes were wide with fury, she screamed hysterically, “Don’t touch it, don’t touch it! Stop, just stop!”
The bailiffs nearly couldn’t hold her back, and amidst the chaos, it was unclear who kicked her.
Song Yuhang’s knees buckled, and with a thud, she fell to the ground, struggling as she rained down punches.
LP: Depression ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ – ˵ ) ✧