Crossing the Line – Chapter 66

A Leaf Unable to Bear the Dew

“I did indeed harbor designs on you from early on.”

She’d thought Lin Ji might try to soften it.

            

She hadn’t expected the answer to be even more direct than Jiang Siyi had imagined.

“So you really did book the wedding venue in February?”

“Yes.”

            

“Then… at that time, you already knew about Song Ti…”

“Yes. The moment I found out she’d cheated, I started planning my return to China.”

“Planning your return? Your return was…”

            

“For you.”

This time, Jiang Siyi didn’t even leave herself room to borrow against a future lifetime’s narcissism. Lin Ji simply let her bask in it all the way through.

An answer too direct had swung open the door to another world.

            

A world from Lin Ji’s perspective that far, far exceeded Jiang Siyi’s imagination.

“So that day, when you asked me to the coffee shop and I ran into her and… and that woman—that was your plan too.”

“It was both plan and coincidence.”

            

Jiang Siyi recalled, “Right, I was the one who reached out to you for the private consultation. But what if I hadn’t contacted you then?”

“I would have found a flawless excuse—one you wouldn’t have questioned—to reach out to you first.”

Jiang Siyi: …

            

“And that coffee that appeared out of nowhere, delivered right to me.”

“That was also something I ordered half an hour in advance. And chasing after you afterward to propose the alliance marriage—that was decided before I even ordered the coffee.”

Jiang Siyi: .

            

She admitted to all of it without the slightest concealment.

“Why did you ask me to go see it…”

“Because seeing is believing.”

            

Seeing is believing.

Those four words sounded a little familiar.

In some distant memory, it seemed someone had said the same thing once.

            

The thought flashed by, and her heart and mind were already full to bursting. Everything was crowding into her thoughts, all demanding she think about it, yet nothing would come into focus.

Lin Ji had actually done so many things.

Plotted so much. Laid so much groundwork.

            

Yet after proposing the alliance, she truly never rushed her—patiently waiting for her decision.

She’d even been misunderstood for a good long while, for nothing.

After learning she’d been wronged, she only teased her with a few remarks…

            

Every step had accounted for her feelings—guiding her, caring for her, putting her first.

A thousand thoughts tangled in Jiang Siyi’s mind as she fell into a brief silence.

The woman across from her appeared to be holding nothing back—answering fluently, admitting to everything, perfectly composed.

            

In truth, the arms bracing against the counter on either side of Jiang Siyi’s body were pressing hard, bearing down heavily on the bathroom vanity.

Terrified that the person before her would hear everything and storm off in anger.

Arms encircling, blocking the way.

            

As long as she was still here, no matter how angry, she could keep explaining, patiently coaxing her around.

She’d even prepared the tone and expression most likely to soften Jiang Siyi’s heart.

Just in case.

            

If Jiang Siyi actually scolded her, she’d lower her gaze, soften her voice, and look utterly pitiful.

Jiang Siyi blinked, still curious.

“And what about the one-day girlfriend afterward?”

            

“You did agree to that when your mind was wandering.”

Jiang Siyi froze.

Seeing her expression shift, Lin Ji regretted being so honest. Why draw a line between you and me? What she did was the same as what I did—just own it all; there’s no difference.

            

The encircling, blocking posture tightened inward.

She was about to walk it back when she noticed Jiang Siyi smiling helplessly, eyes lowered.

Thick, long lashes fluttered gently with her smile.

            

Such a good temper.

Jiang Siyi pressed her lips together, a little exasperated. Why had she brought up the embarrassing topic herself?

“That day, I really don’t know what I was thinking.”

            

Led astray by a few words into meekly agreeing—it only made Lin Ji seem all the more cunning.

Lin Ji couldn’t help but self-critique, speaking up for Jiang Siyi.

“That was also because I deliberately got close and distracted you—only then did you agree.”

            

Jiang Siyi’s voice came slow and soft.

“…Is that so?”

She looked down at her own toes, pressed so close to Lin Ji’s.

            

Suddenly recalling that night when they’d confessed to each other, Lin Ji had said—

I loved you earlier than you liked me.

Much earlier.

            

A swelling ache trailed in wave after wave of ripples, spreading across Jiang Siyi’s heart. Tingling, slowly accumulating into sweetness.

“You said… you fell in love with me before I even started liking you. So… when was that?”

Saying the word “love” felt a little heavy.

            

Jiang Siyi asked hesitantly, not quite daring to believe it.

Only Lin Ji’s candor today had given her the courage to ask.

From childhood to adulthood, it seemed there had never been a time when Jiang Siyi’s wishes came true. Whatever she wanted, she had to bow her head and fight for, trading every ounce of effort to earn. Sometimes she’d get it, but most of the time she came away empty-handed.

            

Life, work, romance.

Someone always got there first. Someone always cut in to snatch love away. Someone used every means at their disposal.

She didn’t want to drain herself, but still had to comfort herself—It’s fine. When I become a better me, I’ll be able to have it again.

            

She’d long known that the better things were in this world, the more they cost. To own them, you had to pay with money, energy, even dignity.

These truths she’d gradually figured out on her own after leaving her mother’s care—why were they different with Lin Ji?

She hadn’t even strived for it, hadn’t bled for it—how did she end up with such intense love from Lin Ji?

            

Lin Ji turned her gaze to study her slightly lowered face.

The girl before her felt somewhat inadequate whenever being liked or being loved came up.

Fingers curled, slipping beneath her chin, lifting her face.

            

Making her raise her head high.

This clean, delicate face, lifted by Lin Ji, carried a trace of shy anticipation. Those eyes were exceptionally bright—yearning, as if etching this moment into her very existence.

When was it?

            

If she were to truly trace it back, the attraction born of instinct had probably already taken its first shape before she even understood what “love” was.

Amid the turbulence of life, in relationships lost, returned, and lost again, it had slowly taken form, gradually deepened, becoming a love painted in bold, indelible strokes.

The old wounds beneath the tattoo over her heart ached faintly. Spurring Lin Ji’s breath to grow heavy.

            

Or perhaps they weren’t old wounds at all—just her heartbeat.

Wave after wave, each heartbeat faster than the last.

She wanted to tell her that even back when she was still her fiancée, this love might have already been a seed waiting to sprout.

            

Let alone the love buried under the passage of time, crushed down again and again with fierce restraint—so vivid it had been traced and retraced by her countless times, beyond dispute.

But the moment her thoughts brushed against the source of this broken engagement, a dark room would suddenly close in from all sides, sealing her in the middle.

Instantly freezing her breath.

            

She knew the catastrophe she’d battled for years still hovered over her heart. It had faded somewhat under Jiang Siyi’s company, but the shadow hadn’t fully dissipated.

The psychological issues persisted. They still required medication.

Even taking the most optimistic view of the psychological issues’ recurrence, one tormenting obstacle remained.

            

What had happened during the seven years she was trafficked—Lin Ji had once tried to tell Lin Xuebo a little.

Only a tiny bit.

The way Lin Xuebo’s tears gathered in her eyes—how the pain had transmitted from her own heart into her mother’s life—that vivid process was something she’d never forget.

            

If she told someone else about the pain, she wouldn’t lose her memory of it, and the pain couldn’t dissolve on its own.

It would only split.

One pain would split into two nails, piercing two hearts at once.

            

It would also become countless tomorrows’ worth of screams lurking deep in the soul, ready to ambush without warning.

Should she let nails be hammered into Jiang Siyi’s heart too?

Should the person she loved most be tormented by that malice-filled screaming when an intrusive thought flashed back?

            

Lin Ji couldn’t bear to do it.

She couldn’t bear to let the eyes Jiang Siyi had finally restored to smiling turn melancholic again.

But how much she loved her, how long she had loved her—she still wanted her to know.

            

Let her know now.

Lin Ji: “From… a very, very young age.”

Jiang Siyi was indeed a little surprised.

            

“A very, very young age?”

“Mhm. We met when we were little. Do you remember? Both grandmothers were still around. On that island where even winter was warm. There were bugs—you were terrified of bugs. But it was so beautiful. The white sand on the beach was as fine as flour.”

Jiang Siyi’s eyes flickered.

            

Feeling a little guilty, she said, “I don’t really remember.”

Her earliest impression of Lin Ji was from when Lin Ji first returned to China, when they’d bumped into each other at school. The island before that—she had no memory of it anymore.

Lin Ji gave a slight nod.

            

So she truly didn’t remember their engagement.

“That’s very normal. You were so small then. It’d be stranger if you did remember.”

“How small? How small exactly?”

            

“Three.”

Only three—of course she wouldn’t have formed memories.

And yet, a pang of regret.

            

So they’d met that young, had crossed paths, but it hadn’t managed to leave a mark in her memory.

Jiang Siyi asked, curious: “What was I like at three?”

Her mother had been gone too long, and her sister only said she’d been quiet and composed since childhood, prone to smiling, not one to fuss.

            

Jiang Siyi had only seen photos of herself a bit older; the three-year-old version felt like a stranger.

She wanted to know what she looked like from Lin Ji’s perspective.

The memories recently recalled from her mother’s words were proving useful so soon.

            

Lin Ji’s dark eyes gleamed.

“You liked following me around to play outside. When you got tired, you’d want me to carry you. You cried a lot—if I didn’t carry you, you’d cry.”

Jiang Siyi: …

            

She felt a little mortified hearing this.

“No way?”

“Yes, indeed.”

            

“…”

“When sleeping, you’d grip my clothes. Mhm—that part hasn’t changed.”

Lin Ji’s words reminded her of the clothes she’d ruined during their first kiss.

            

Right at this moment, she was already clutching Lin Ji’s hem without realizing it.

Jiang Siyi: …

She released it immediately.

            

Only for Lin Ji to clasp her wrist and pull her hand back, letting her keep gripping.

Her ears tingled with warmth.

“Then later, after you went abroad to study for all those years, when you came back…”

            

Jiang Siyi’s other hand also rested on the counter, between Lin Ji’s two hands—still a posture of being surrounded by her.

While saying something embarrassing, her fingertips fidgeted awkwardly against the counter’s edge.

“Did you… still like me?”

            

Lin Ji’s gaze stalled for an inexplicable moment, then warmed with a smile as she recalled how adorable Jiang Siyi had been in middle school.

“Mhm. Very much.”

Jiang Siyi’s heart grew hotter from such a blunt admission.

            

Wasn’t that… secretly in love with me since childhood?

Then… I used to be so afraid of her, always taking detours to avoid her.

And later, I even got engaged to someone else.

            

She… must have been so hurt.

Guilt crashed against her heart in waves, a sore ache spreading endlessly through her chest.

Jiang Siyi hooked Lin Ji’s fingers pressed against the counter, lifted them, gave a gentle tug, and drew her closer.

            

The already-narrow distance dissolved under her initiative.

This woman who was always so aloof toward others—Jiang Siyi had drawn her close with only the slightest effort.

Pads of their fingers pressed together, stroking gently, tips flushing with a shy blush.

            

Light from the mirror cabinet drifted over from behind, tracing a soft, fluffy golden halo around Jiang Siyi.

Her beauty and stillness were innate—pure, upright, gentle.

A pure blossom blooming in a sullied environment—the rarest of things, beyond contamination.

            

Her pinky hooked tighter.

Like a pinky promise, like reciting an oath that had always belonged to them.

Jiang Siyi’s gaze settled on Lin Ji’s lips.

            

A ten-centimeter height difference—if she were to kiss her first, she’d have to calculate the distance.

She probably didn’t realize how blatant her stare at Lin Ji’s lips was.

Just as she was thinking about rising on her toes to kiss her, her waist was already enclosed.

            

Two bodies pressed tightly together.

Her chin was lifted, and warm lips were captured with precision.

Like stirring open sweet, soft, fragrant petals—effortless.

            

The more unblemished something was, the more it made you want to leave a mark that was yours alone.

A faint whimper spilled from deep in Jiang Siyi’s throat. But it was quickly sealed by the lips and tongue claiming her, turning into a muffled breath trapped in her throat.

Her tongue, initially passive and overwhelmed, could only submit to the entanglement.

            

The tangling made her so hot—her body, soaked through with Lin Ji’s scent, burned.

The flush at the back of her neck crept upward, her body craving more of its own accord.

Her soft tongue slowly ventured forward, her lips mimicking Lin Ji’s.

            

Not quite skilled, but she couldn’t help herself—she just wanted to kiss her.

To tell her she liked her too.

Feeling Jiang Siyi kiss her back—clumsy, yet so heartfelt.

            

This tender, inexperienced initiative made Lin Ji slightly dizzy with passion.

The kiss deepened. Jiang Siyi’s neck arched back again and again under the force of her intense, plunging kiss. Faint whimpers dissolved into passionate, breathy sighs.

From waist to neck, everything trembled.

            

Before her neck could ache from the strain, Lin Ji caught her whole body and lifted her up.

Dizzy, she found herself seated on the bathroom counter, the height difference suddenly erased.

A natural angle—far better suited for prolonged kissing.

            

Every one of Lin Ji’s kisses was fierce. Lingering. Each carried a possessiveness utterly at odds with her cool demeanor.

Her waist was locked in by an arm; the back of her head, pressed by a palm.

The woman kissing her was like a snake, like a vine—binding her tight, claiming her.

            

Skin stung faintly; the nightgown fell into disarray.

This position and appearance were certainly far from decent.

Yet Jiang Siyi loved this rich sensation of being possessed.

            

Lin Ji’s kisses traveled from lips to elegant chin, to the slender, flawless neck.

Then she buried her face, lifting soft snow-white, rippling with sweetness.

A silent, beautiful snowfield no one had traversed—where Lin Ji alone left a stroke of crimson.

            

A pure, flawless white blossom, dyed crimson by kiss after possessive kiss.

A rain-beaten white magnolia clinging tight to the snake that twined around it.

Only when she was carried to the bed did she realize her trembling legs had, of their own volition, wound around Lin Ji’s waist.

            

The bend of her knees was then held in burning palms.

The sensation of slender fingertips cradling her thighs instantly brought back the first damp dream she’d had about Lin Ji.

That absurd dream was actually coming true, right now.

            

Her consciousness was pushed and pressed, floating and sinking.

Mewing faintly like a kitten.

Begging softly without any teasing needed.

            

Lin Ji answered her, even as she covered her.

Jiang Siyi’s back, already gone weak, began to tighten in waves again.

“…Mm? Didn’t you… promise me? Just now you—”

            

“Mhm. Not moving.”

Just pressing.

But what should have subsided was still going.

            

Lasting for an unimaginable duration.

“It’s okay, be good, Siyi.”

Lin Ji kissed her ear, soft and hot enough to nearly burn.

            

Soothing the trembling that was on the verge of unraveling.

Jiang Siyi’s unfocused eyes grew wet.

Trails of water stained Lin Ji’s wedding ring, which she’d never taken off.

            

Jiang Siyi at this moment was a leaf utterly unable to bear the dew.

Dripping, scattered, beyond composure.

In the end, she couldn’t bear to scratch. Her fingertips left restrained marks on Lin Ji’s back.

            

Another thing she’d never imagined.

How had she ended up like this.

In her haze, Jiang Siyi wondered: how could it last so long?

            

Lin Ji, she…

Xiao You… seemed to know a great many extraordinary things.

Utterly spent, she was fed water by Lin Ji—drinking greedily, a great deal of it—before drifting off in a haze.

            

At midnight, she was abruptly jerked awake by a surge of emotion.

No wonder.

Jiang Siyi opened her eyes, gazing at the ceiling tinted by the faint glow of the night light.

            

No wonder she’d always felt a loneliness clinging to Lin Ji like a shadow, permeating everything around her.

When she liked me, I kept my distance and avoided her.

That was the source of her loneliness.

            

I was the culprit.

A faint sting spread to the tip of her nose as Jiang Siyi turned and wrapped her arms around the person beside her.

Lin Ji’s body sensed Jiang Siyi’s embrace without waking at all, yet a faint smile rose to her face. She raised her arm and gently squeezed her hand in return.

            

Every embrace—she’d never let her reach for nothing.

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