Crossing the Line – Chapter 57
by Little PandaSo Good.
Midnight. She couldn’t sleep.
She turned over gently.
Lin Ji was already asleep.
She had been monitoring Lin Ji’s sleep patterns every day lately, and compared to before, there had been significant improvement.
Total sleep duration had increased—she could basically sleep a full six hours now—and her consecutive deep sleep periods had also gotten longer.
Such hard-won progress. She didn’t want to wake her.
Jiang Siyi slipped out of bed as quietly as she could.
She felt a little nostalgic for the Small Park. She wanted to go back and see it.
Xueqiu heard the movement and tumbled off his cushion, swaying drowsily, but still full of doggy responsibility, following her to the door and peering at his owner with curiosity.
Jiang Siyi patted his head. She had planned to take him out for a walk when she got back, but the moment she put on her shoes, he perked up, eager to bark.
Afraid of waking Lin Ji, she had no choice but to clip on his leash and carry him out with her.
She scanned a shared bicycle, wiped the basket clean, settled Xueqiu in the front basket, and pedaled slowly back.
Xueqiu loved sitting in the basket, his two little paws resting on the rim.
The night breeze ruffled his fluffy head fur. He stretched his neck out like a navigator, mouth happily gaping, pink tongue lolling out.
Linyu Shuian wasn’t far from where she used to live, so it wasn’t far from the Small Park either.
Everything familiar to her was still within easy reach.
This was a route she had walked before.
The Small Park at midnight was very quiet. Almost no voices or traffic—only the chirping of insects.
A bare-bones light illuminated an even more bare-bones park. The little swing had gathered another layer of dust.
She wiped it clean and sat down. Xueqiu hopped onto her lap. The creaking, rusted sway of the chains seemed to resonate with the old days in her memory.
Perhaps her mother was thinking of her too. Tonight’s sky was exceptionally clear.
A cool breeze blew in from some distant place, relieving her of the summer heat.
“Mom, I think I’ve fallen in love with someone…”
Her ankles hooked together, swaying gently, she murmured to herself beneath the starlight.
“It’s wonderful. A feeling I’ve never had before. I don’t know if it’s because I knew her even before, and we always kept our distance, but now we’ve somehow become the closest, most intimate of all. Like a kind of destiny.”
She paused, feeling that wasn’t quite accurate.
“Like the return of a kind of destiny.”
As if, from the very start, she had never thought this person would have any deep connection to her—they belonged to two different worlds.
And yet, through some unseen force, the threads of fate had always been tied to them both.
Even if they turned their backs and lost each other in the crowd, walked long roads and endured dark nights, they would reunite at some unfamiliar place, for no reason at all.
Features she had never closely examined were, in that instant, carved into her life.
Only then did she understand that the endless road was for arriving at mountains and rivers, that the deep dark night was for looking up at the stars.
She and her mountains and rivers and stars had found each other again.
…
She walked Xueqiu around the Small Park.
Having not visited in a while, it felt like the park had deteriorated further.
The surrounding area was all under renovation. High-rises rose one after another, greenery and amenities springing up in full swing. Perhaps one day this little park would disappear entirely.
She had always known that time moved forward.
No matter what anyone cared about, cherished, clung to as dearly as life itself—all of it would be swept away by the current of time, mercilessly, without warning, ceasing to exist.
The cruelest thing in this world, she had already lived through.
She, of all people, should know that life was finite. Should cherish it, enjoy it, and stop wrestling with things that didn’t matter.
Yes, the tattoo was still there, the avatar was still the same, but those were all in the past…
Even if Lin Ji had a white moonlight1 in her heart, so what?
She had a past she cherished, but that didn’t mean she would trap herself in memories.
A door wasn’t just a barrier—it was meant to be pushed open.
A road was meant to be walked forward.
On a dawn in late summer, holding a sleeping Xueqiu, watching the light of daybreak pierce through the curtain of night, Jiang Siyi’s mind awakened in that moment.
She was going to confess to Lin Ji.
No matter what shape Lin Ji’s heart was, Jiang Siyi wanted to give hers to her.
No matter what nights Lin Ji had endured, from now on, she would light the way for her.
Not enough sleep, supplemented by coffee.
Get through today, and there would be two consecutive rest days ahead.
Jiang Siyi stood in the pantry waiting for her coffee, yawning nonstop.
Duan Ning popped a delicious little cookie into her mouth.
“Were you out being a thief last night? You’re so sleepy.”
Jiang Siyi ate the cookie, cheeks puffed, mumbling indistinctly.
“No…”
Duan Ning suddenly seemed to think of something. Her expression immediately turned sly, and she mimed zipping her lips shut.
“Oh, why am I even asking—I get it, I get it. Not asking, not asking.”
Jiang Siyi: …
What do you think you get? Don’t go making wild assumptions.
At lunch, Jiang Siyi didn’t go out to eat. She got takeout from the staff cafeteria downstairs—one meat, two vegetables—and came back to eat.
She had something important to take care of.
While eating, she scrolled through social platforms, checked reviews, and compared endlessly.
Lin Ji was meticulous about every detail of their daily life.
The place for a confession couldn’t be too casual.
It had to have food that suited her tastes, beautiful scenery, and few people—Lin Ji definitely preferred quiet places.
She picked and chose but was never quite satisfied.
From sitting in front of the computer too long, her posture stiffened, and her twisted arm started aching again.
She raised it to stretch.
Why did her eyelids feel hot, too?
Fan Qing sat in the quiet hospital corridor, scrolling through her phone as she waited for Lin Ji.
The door opened gently. Lin Ji came out.
Fan Qing pocketed her phone and stood, questioning with her eyes.
Lin Ji: “Much better. The doctor said the medication can be reduced.”
Fan Qing let out a breath of relief. “That’s wonderful. Auntie Lin will be so happy when she finds out.”
Before coming in for the review, Lin Ji had a premonition that this time would yield different results.
Sure enough, it matched her expectations.
Even the doctor was happy for her. The psychological issues that had plagued her for so many years were finally showing clear improvement.
But she still couldn’t go off the medication.
Her insomnia had improved, but her anxiety disorder still flared up.
Enclosed spaces still made her uncomfortable—she needed to continue psychotherapy alongside medication.
Still, this was the first clear turning point in years.
Everything was trending upward.
They headed toward the stairwell. Lin Ji said, “Don’t tell my mother yet. If there’s a relapse, she’ll be disappointed.”
Fan Qing thought to herself: the miracle cure was already living at home—there was no way she would relapse.
She sincerely prayed for her generous BOSS.
May she stay healthy, may her career flourish, may the company keep making money forever.
Today in J City there was a thunderstorm. Tomorrow and the day after were Jiang Siyi’s rest days, but Lin Ji had to go on a business trip to a neighboring city and couldn’t spend the weekend together. Still, her mood remained good.
All these years, the illnesses of body and mind had genuinely caused her anxiety.
She hadn’t told anyone. Hadn’t discussed it in detail with her mother or close friends.
Whether it could be cured was unknown. What frightened her more was the possibility of continued deterioration.
What if one day, being unable to ride an elevator beyond three floors worsened into being unable to stay indoors at all?
What if severe insomnia continued to worsen, leading to mental illness and cognitive impairment—not to mention the risk of sudden death?
She wanted to be close to Jiang Siyi. Wanted to have her. Wanted to tell her that she had liked her for a very, very long time.
But her illness had always entangled her in a sense of unworthiness.
Sealing her mouth, closing her heart, binding the hands she wanted to reach out with.
She also didn’t want Jiang Siyi to see her—vulnerable, breaking into cold sweats just from riding an elevator.
And she certainly didn’t want to become a madwoman one day, or a corpse, and drag Jiang Siyi down with her, destroying the rest of her life, causing her pain.
In all her former imaginings of the future, her condition improving enough to stay by Jiang Siyi’s side had been the most beautiful possibility.
Now, she stood at the edge of that most beautiful possibility.
And new desires began to sprout.
If she could stop the medication, if there were no relapses—could she tell Jiang Siyi that she had liked her for a very, very long time?
…
Fan Qing drove, taking Lin Ji on a short business trip to the neighboring city.
They expected to finish work by tomorrow evening and return the morning after.
Lin Ji had something on her mind. She called her mother, Lin Xuebo.
【Mmm… Siyi twisted her arm, and it might not be fully healed yet. She’s off tomorrow and the day after, and I won’t be in J City. If you have time, could you take her to get it checked?】
Lin Xuebo, naturally, had no reason to refuse. She told her to go on her trip without worry—she would take care of Siyi.
After hanging up, Fan Qing said, “BOSS, there’s something about the Jiang family you might want to know.”
Lin Ji: “The Jiang family’s bankruptcy?”
Fan Qing nodded with an “Mm,” and said, “Also, Jiang Luo’s son Jiang Cheng was in an illegal street race bet and suffered a severe brain contusion. He has been comatose in the hospital for many days, and the likelihood of him waking up is very small. Zhao Jun and Jiang Luo have had several fights at the hospital and brought up divorce. Word is Zhao Jun is desperately seeking specialists to treat her son, while Jiang Luo is borrowing money everywhere. However, Jiang Luo doesn’t seem highly motivated to pay for Jiang Cheng’s treatment. I suspect he is borrowing money to get through his personal bankruptcy crisis. Last week, he was spotted near Miss Jiang’s former rental apartment. I suspect he may be trying to borrow money from her.”
Jiang Siyi and Lin Ji’s marriage—Jiang Luo couldn’t possibly not know about.
If he actually managed to find Jiang Siyi, the shameless things he might say were obvious.
Having failed to find her at the old apartment, he certainly wouldn’t give up.
His next step would be staking out the Jiashibi building.
During this career upswing, work was too busy. She had to leave at a moment’s notice and couldn’t always be by Jiang Siyi’s side.
Zhou Ni had completed her temporary assignment and returned home.
Fan Qing had to accompany her—her work now couldn’t proceed without Fan Qing’s support.
A Jiang’s team was all overseas, too far away to help.
Lin Ji asked Fan Qing, “Can you ask your Sister Xia if there are any suitable people from your hometown willing to work as private bodyguards? Salary is not an issue.”
Fan Qing: “I’ll ask Sister Xia.”
Lin Ji thought for a moment, then her mind returned to the Jiang family.
She dialed Cen Lu’s number.
【The art restoration company that Jiang Luo sold four years ago—is there any possibility of acquiring it now?】
That art restoration company was originally founded by Jiang Siyi’s late mother. It was her life’s work, but Jiang Luo had sold it three years ago.
On the other end of the line, Cen Lu quickly understood Lin Ji’s intent.
【I’ll handle it. If it’s not possible, I’ll make it possible.】
Lin Ji was going on another business trip. Jiang Siyi felt a little disappointed, but on second thought, it was fine—she could freely continue searching for the perfect confession spot without being discovered.
She was just a little worried about Lin Ji. Would she have insomnia again? Would she not sleep well?
，: 【No intercontinental flight for jet lag this time, and it’s only two nights. Should be fine. Besides, I have this.】
She also sent a short video.
The video showed Lin Ji’s hand.
Slender fingers holding the Shi Shi Ru Yi2 persimmon pendant that always hung from her handbag.
That beautiful woman’s hand cradling the little fuzzy plush, fingertips slowly stroking across it, ruffling layer after layer of soft rabbit fur.
On the side of her wrist, by the bone, that faint mole was captured clearly—a unique mark that belonged only to Lin Ji.
Jiang Siyi remembered the spring auction after party, catching sight of this hand through the crowd—it had been toying with a piece of white jade at the time.
Warm, smooth, and slender—more beautiful than the artwork itself.
So she had noticed that mole even then.
How had she noticed such a small detail…
Had she been staring that intently even back then?
At the time, Jiang Siyi had never imagined that this hand would one day press against her skin, knead the back of her neck, control her face.
Pinch her chin so she couldn’t escape a kiss.
Jiang Siyi’s thoughts were carried off by Lin Ji’s hand to some intimate encounter or another.
She watched the video three times, then suddenly realized her reply was taking too long.
The person waiting for her response might guess she was swooning over the video.
Sanzhuang Tusi: 【If you can’t sleep, you have to tell me.】
She could go to her, sleep beside her… that should work, like it did last time in London, right?
，: 【Could you send me what you just said as a voice message?】
Jiang Siyi: ?
Why did she need to send it again as a voice message?
Not quite sure of Lin Ji’s intent, she did as asked.
Lin Ji, upon receiving the voice message, deliberately put on her earbuds to listen.
Sure enough, the words came out soft, gentle, and warm. Very nice to listen to.
Especially the “oh” at the end.
It inexplicably reminded her of Jiang Siyi, who used to call herself “Little Jiang Jiejie.”
Clearly the younger one, yet putting on the airs of an older sister.
In the city center, Jiang Siyi had Lin Ji’s hand video on loop.
At the city’s edge, Lin Ji listened to Jiang Siyi’s voice over and over.
Lightning swept through. Rain poured down.
At night, Jiang Siyi was startled awake by a crack of thunder. Groggy and disoriented, her first instinct was to check her phone.
No WeChat messages or calls from Lin Ji.
Did that mean she hadn’t had insomnia?
She felt a little relieved.
Xueqiu was afraid of thunder. He was crouching under the bed, looking at her pitifully, his round ears pinned flat back.
“It’s okay. Mama’s here.”
Jiang Siyi made an exception and let Xueqiu onto the bed.
Xueqiu immediately burrowed into her arms, pressing tightly against her, gave a little shudder, found the most comfortable position, and closed his eyes.
Jiang Siyi stroked his head, murmuring “It’s okay.”
Why did her head feel so heavy? Her whole body was hot and aching, very uncomfortable.
She seemed to be sick.
She exhaled a warm breath.
She would feel better after sleeping it off… she had always gotten through illnesses that way before.
Amid the faint rustling of rain, she drifted back into fitful sleep.
She didn’t know what time it was when the doorbell rang.
The sound seemed very far away. She thought she was dreaming.
Until Xueqiu’s barking jolted her fully awake.
Getting out of bed, she was dizzy. She made it to the video intercom—Lin Xuebo and Qiao Jin were at the door.
Jiang Siyi opened the door. “Auntie Lin, Auntie Qiao, what are you doing here?”
It was still raining outside. Lin Xuebo and Qiao Jin each held a closed umbrella, the tips dripping.
Lin Xuebo: “Xiaoyou told me you twisted your shoulder. She was worried. A sprain can be serious or minor—let me take you to get it checked.”
Jiang Siyi ushered them inside, her voice hoarse. “It’s fine. It’ll get better with some movement. No need to go to so much trouble.”
Lin Xuebo gazed at her face for a moment, handed her umbrella to Qiao Jin behind her, and studied Jiang Siyi’s face carefully.
“Siyi, are you running a fever? Your face is flushed unnaturally.”
A fever?
Jiang Siyi was about to feel her own forehead when Lin Xuebo’s palm pressed against it first, anxiously.
The cool palm made Jiang Siyi flinch.
But she didn’t pull away.
Lin Xuebo: “You’re burning up. It must be thirty-nine degrees. Why did Xiaoyou have to go on a business trip at a time like this.”
Lin Xuebo’s worried expression reflected in Jiang Siyi’s eyes, giving her a momentary illusion that she was still a child who needed someone to take care of her.
Seeing Jiang Siyi’s heavy, unfocused gaze, Lin Xuebo was beside herself with worry.
“Xiaoyou isn’t here—when you’re not feeling well, why didn’t you tell Mama?”
The word “Mama” slipped out, and Lin Xuebo herself froze for a moment.
She had long since accepted Jiang Siyi as another daughter in her heart. When she mentioned her to family and friends, she always said “our Siyi,” “our treasure.”
But since the girl hadn’t yet changed how she addressed her, she had never referred to herself this way in front of Jiang Siyi.
It had come out in a moment of urgency. She gasped inwardly.
Siyi’s mother had passed away, and Siyi had been very close to her. Calling herself “Mama” so abruptly—she didn’t know if it would make Siyi uncomfortable.
Lin Xuebo was about to say something to smooth things over when she saw Jiang Siyi, feverish and dazed, shift her gaze. Something seemed to cross her mind, and she lowered her head.
Then she held Lin Xuebo’s hand.
Two burning hands reached from either side, gently holding Lin Xuebo’s fingertips.
She said nothing. Just held on.
Like a kind of tacit acceptance.
Also like the fear of being separated again.
That wordless restraint made Lin Xuebo’s eyes redden.
This child was too heartbreaking.
Qiao Jin had been watching their mother-daughter moment for a while. Seeing those hands reluctant to let go, she reminded them:
“Let’s get to the hospital. We need to bring the fever down.”
Lin Xuebo snapped back to herself and took Jiang Siyi’s hand:
“Just grab a jacket. Let’s go to… our family’s own hospital.”
She had almost said “Mama’s own hospital,” but on second thought, decided to skip that for now.
Saying “our family’s” couldn’t be wrong.
Jiang Siyi was about to go to the bedroom for a jacket, but Qiao Jin simply grabbed one from the entryway’s semi-clean zone coat rack—it didn’t matter whose—and draped it over Jiang Siyi’s shoulders.
“You’re burning up this badly, stop walking back and forth. And this house is so big.” Qiao Jin briskly opened an umbrella. “Let’s go.”
Jiang Siyi was escorted out in a daze.
Before closing the door, Qiao Jin caught Lin Xuebo’s eye and gestured for her to look inside.
Lin Xuebo turned to look and saw a round dog head peeking out from behind the sofa.
A dog?
There was a dog in the house?
Xiaoyou could actually live under the same roof as a dog?
Lin Xuebo exchanged a shocked glance with Qiao Jin.
Qiao Jin laughed and patted her on the back, signaling her to get in the car first.
Swaying, seemingly arriving at the hospital, then lying in a bed.
Something to eat, something to drink, her hand pricked by a needle.
She smelled the hospital scent she had feared most as a child.
Jiang Siyi was delirious with fever. She didn’t like hospitals. She was scared here.
She wanted her mother to take her home.
But her consciousness kept sinking beneath murky water, her head heavy and muddled.
In her half-asleep, half-awake state, a fresh orange scent suddenly broke through.
Someone was peeling an orange for her.
The citrus fragrance dispelled the unpleasant smells, soothing Jiang Siyi’s turbulent dreams.
Someone said beside her ear to eat some fruit.
She obediently opened her mouth, swallowing a plump, juicy orange segment—sweet with a hint of tartness. So good.
She ate a little, then slept again.
While she was feverish, she missed Jiang Siling’s WeChat message.
Jiang Siling had messaged her younger sister, saying she was waiting to board her flight back to China.
By the time she boarded the plane, her sister still hadn’t replied.
Eleven at night.
Jiang Siyi’s temperature finally dropped to 37.1°C.
Lin Xuebo felt a bit relieved and stepped out of the ward to take a call.
After sleeping an indeterminate while longer, hurried footsteps echoed through the quiet corridor.
Jiang Siyi’s consciousness surfaced along with the sound of footsteps, though her eyes remained closed.
Even in this state, she could recognize those footsteps. So familiar.
The night nurse’s voice came through the door, very softly.
She asked the woman who had arrived what her relationship with the patient was.
A low female voice, slightly breathless.
“I am her wife.”
Jiang Siyi’s brow twitched slightly.
The ward door was pushed open gently.
A scent of rainwater and familiar sandalwood perfume drew near. Cool fingers touched her forehead.
It felt a little nice. Jiang Siyi let out a soft “Mm” from her throat.
The person behind her was silent for a few seconds, then removed her outerwear, quickly showered, changed into a nightgown from who knows where, got into bed, and wrapped her arms around Jiang Siyi from behind.
Jiang Siyi instinctively turned over, pressing closer to that reassuring fragrance.
The moment she turned, her face was cradled in a hand, gently lifted, and a kiss fell on her lips.
Purely on instinct, not wanting the kiss to be one-sided, Jiang Siyi kissed her back.
Like a baby bird’s gentle peck—light, brief, a little at a time.
Careful, yet unable to suppress the racing of her heart.
Lin Ji hadn’t expected that even this delirious, Jiang Siyi still knew to kiss her back.
So good.
She wanted to continue, but Jiang Siyi’s current condition wasn’t suitable for that.
She stroked Jiang Siyi’s head, trying to coax her back to sleep, when the person in her arms struggled to open her eyes.
“How are you back?”
Her voice was airy and light.
“Don’t worry. I’m fine…”
Lin Ji’s chest rose and fell a few times. She drew Jiang Siyi into her arms, her chin resting against the side of her neck.
At the moment she truly held her, the anxiety that had built up the entire journey finally eased.
Her breathy voice was faint, slow, but very clear.
“It’s me who needs you.”
The small ailment, held in Lin Ji’s arms, slowly withdrew as the night passed.
The author has something to say:
Lin Ji: Wife-pampering step twenty-five—the whole family pampers her together
Um, soon, soon. Trust me.
Footnotes
- 白月光 | bai yueguang | Literary metaphor for an idealized, unattainable first love one can never truly possess, originating from Eileen Chang's 'Red Rose, White Rose.'
- 柿柿如意 | shi shi ru yi | Auspicious pun replacing '事' (thing) with '柿' (persimmon), meaning 'may all things go as wished,' commonly featured on persimmon-shaped ornaments and plushies.
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